Sunday, February 23, 2014

Shattered Images

One of the things that come along with the package of parenting is the handling of disappointment.

Life brings us many, some more than others but I am referring to events or people that disappoint our children.

The sooner in our parenting journey we accept we CAN NOT protect our children from everything, the sooner we will invest that energy instead on how to show support and love when those moments do come.

No matter what age or gender at some point your child will be disappointed by someone or something. The something can be handled much quicker and more easily, but the SOMEONE...not so much.

It's only as we grow that we realize no one is perfect. It's only as we grow that we can either accept people for who they are or walk away. Children, Toddlers and Babies can't understand the concept of acceptance or walking away until they are much older. Therefore it is our responsibility to help them as they grow to understand failure, humanity, humility, respect, acceptance and peace.

Failure-sometimes people try to do their best, but their best isn't good enough.
Humanity-to be human is to act at times in ways that are hurtful and selfish and we must be aware that it may not have anything to do with us, but instead with the way that other person views themselves.
Humility-not many people are carriers of this trait and we must not allow their boisterous actions to extinguish our flame.
Respect-is earned, never just given, demanded or assumed.
Acceptance-sometimes people are just not as invested in you or your well being as you may be in them. Once you become aware of that your options are greater and the hurt becomes less.
Peace-when you take the time to gather all the information, put all the pieces together and come away with clarity you will have gained the peace to move forward and away from that which hurt and or disappointed you.

It will never be easy to see our children in discomfort but it will surely be worse if they are not prepared for it. Life sometimes brings lessons we wish we never had to learn. Shattered images of those we hold dear is one such lesson.

No such thing as perfection, don't put people up on a pedestal and sometimes there are just people out there that are not very nice.

So, as we accept we can't provide protection from all let's start getting ready to hold those hands, provide a shoulder, lend an ear, give plenty of hugs and kisses and tell them how much we love them and are blessed to have them in our lives.

8 comments:

  1. This is so very true wise woman...and once they get older I think it becomes harder for us a parents when they get hurt or disappointed, yet there is nothing we can do except listen if they chose to talk to us at all!

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    1. Antionette, awh sweet compliment thank you. Yes we can only go with flow of what they share and be ready to support in any way possible. This journey isn't easy but it sure is full of lessons, love, and more often than not...fun :)

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  2. As a parent of adult children, I have found it valuable to be a good listener, don't judge and give them all the support you can through lif's ups and downs.
    As a result we have a great relationship.
    Jovina

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    1. Jovina, thanks for visit and comment. So glad to hear you have great relationship with your children. I always say you get what you put in, most of the time :)

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  3. Another well-written, thoughtful post, Mari; thank you. I cringe at the mere thought of Scotty facing his first big disappointment -- for some reason I don't worry about Kennedy yet, as she is still so shiny and new to me. But Scotty...now that he is really coming into his own, expressing his personality, and growing bigger I think more and more about the day I will send him off to school -- and I've already got anxiety about it. And the fact that he'll face disappointments in school (social situations, etc) breaks my heart. I know I've got to snap out of this. To be clear, I know this. I know first-hand that disappointments tend to be gifts (albeit wrapped in extremely ugly wrapping paper. lol)

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    1. Courtney, thank you appreciate your kind words. My little one is not so little anymore, yet it still doesn't make watching her feel any type of hurt any easier. Yes gifts are gifts even in ugly paper :) chat soon

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  4. Beautifully written and so true! I am truly fearful of my son's first true disappointment. And I am preparing myself mentally for that moment because more than anything, he will need me to be strong for him and help him through it. I can't take the hurt and pain away completely, but I can help to ease it.

    Thanks so much for sharing on Turn It Up Tuesday! Another great post! :)

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    1. Thank you Natasha appreciate the kind words and support! Thanks for visit :)

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