Sunday, November 6, 2016

How helpful is Looking back at our Mistakes?

There are days when we come across melancholy moments out of no where. Your sitting still perhaps or just heard a song or expression that took you back to a moment in time and you start to feel a sadness wash over you like warm water. Thoughts drift through your mind, images as real as the moment when they first occurred.

I use to get those fairly often now just once in a blue. Now they no longer just come out of no where but instead they slowly crawl towards me as if saying "brace for it, there is just no way you are getting around us." It will be a song that reminds me of my middle sister and I'll think "what is she up to now?" Or a girl I see with beautiful eyelashes walking tall and proud seemingly unapproachable as my little sister always has been. It could be a group of friends just laughing or a photo share of a celebration in which everyone has gathered to celebrate a loved one. However the presentation, it always takes me a moment to get back to reality.

Lil Mama and I always communicate our gratitude to the Universe for the lessons and the support we provide one another through trying times. Life is full of trying times and if you have no support you can easily loose your way.

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I am always running dialogues in my head "could I have said this this way, could I have tried that that way, did I give so and so another chance, was I too harsh, did I make an assumption?" What I know for sure is we can only do that for so long until we drive ourselves crazy.

For example, I'm still looking back on a recent event in which a dear friend and I had a eye opening conversation. I wrote about it here When good Intentions aren't so Good. I still find myself trying to pinpoint the moment in which perhaps the conversation could and should have gone in another direction. I guess I am still trying to work my way through when things went wrong. Which is what most of us do. In our relationships when things have reached there end we are still looking back wondering what went wrong?

The honest answer is they just did. At some point the connection lost its fit. Like trying to jam a circle into a square. It just isn't going to happen. Then you go through the roller coaster of emotions and questions but why? Again because it just did. It doesn't make the hurt feelings go away any faster or even hurt any less but with calm and cool perspective things will start to change. This is where I'm at now.

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 I am smiling none the less at his stern words and I am forever beholden to him for shining a bright light in my direction for I am purposeful in my continued belief that we are all flourishing in our due time. That anything of true beauty doesn't blossom in one day. That all great things come from a strong foundation. That a gentle hand wins over brute force with time.

I bring everything I experience full circle. Being a mother I use everything as a teaching moment. My journey is my daughter's live classroom. Raw and real time, no second takes, and no touchups. She sees what she sees we talk and we grow. I recently started watching a new Netflix series Luke Cage and my take away from that has been...
Always Forward, Always.

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It's what one character tells the character of Luke Cage in regards to life. We all have regrets, mistakes we've made, things we so deeply wish we could change but if we are always looking back how can we change our future? So. I am done looking back at that moment it played out as it did. I can only work on what's ahead and what new adventures are in store for me. Less regret more gratitude plenty of love.
Always Forward, Always.

One of those new adventures btw is an opportunity to join up with my new Yoga mentor, Racheal check her out here She joins the list of some great women I love to follow, they inspire continued growth in my practices. I will be joining her in a month long Yoga Strength Intensive class which will surely test my self imposed limits lol. I look forward to the growth and connections I will surely walk away with. This class will be coming up in Jan 2017 so look at for those shares. I took part in her two hour Yoga Inversion Workshop back in October that had me doing this...

Crow's Pose!

It was tough as **** (you choose the word) but I stuck it out with the awesome encouragement of my new buddy Monique and I did it. Almost four years into Yoga and that pose still laughs at me but not on this day. I am working on incorporating more of my Yoga Practice here with you guys. I know I have said that in the past but now I am more committed than ever to share this part of my journey. Never to late to be your best self. So how helpful is looking back at our Mistakes? It's only helpful if you are willing to learn, if you do it to beat yourself up and to fester in bitterness than no looking back won't help you.

Always Forward, Always and stress free xo,


  1. This is a very thoughtful and inspiring post, Mari. Our past experiences, failures especially, should inform us and help us make amends where needed and learn, grow and move forward. If we don't consider our mistakes and failings, we're likely to repeat them. However, if we wallow in them, we're stuck and don't go forward, enjoying new experiences. It's a tough balance but I think one of the quotes you shared above can help us stay focused: 'don't look back; you're not going that way.' Learn, resolve to be the best you can in every moment and then joyfully go forward, living life to its fullest.

  2. Reuven, welcome and thank you for sharing your comments. Life is always about growth and the more we focus our energy on moving forward the more opportunities we have ob reaching our goals of the lives we desire. Hope to see you here again soon and thanks for joining our link party :)

  3. I totally agree with this and with Reuven's comment. In the past I have always look back on things thinking it was reflection & a learning moment. That's what people - elders, professors, bosses - would say we needed to do to. But I learned that for me personally, when I focused so much on "reflection" there was such a fine line between that & dwelling on the past.
    So now I tend to evaluate, accept, and move on. Otherwise too much time & energy goes into what is already done.

    1. Yes Nikki!!! Stay on your path do you! Be kind to yourself and you will succeed xo thanks for visit!


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