Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Anxiety at different stages

We as parents always hear about putting in the work and effort for eighteen years then they will be off to college and you will be free.
Your child will go away, maybe come home for holidays and vacations but more than likely you are done. They will find their way, won’t need you as much and once they graduate they will move out and you will have that free room to do with as you please.

During those eighteen years we have tons of events that bring on different levels of anxiety.
Sleeping through the night
First tooth
Sleeping in their own beds
1st day of school
Puberty (I will speak on this often at later date ).
Transition from elementary to high school
First time they disobey you
First dates
First meaningful disappointment (ours was not getting into her first choice in H.S., which turned out to be a blessing).
First relationship
First time they sleep away from home (for us that was at about age 6 and I hugged her like she was going away for 3 years and not 3 days lol).
The list is endless.

But what I have come to realize is that all those moments all those levels and everything in between still cannot truly prepare you for when your child is fully grown and independent and an “Adult”.
You begin to see things in a different light; you begin to appreciate those simple moments.
You come into a new anxiety level of my baby is going out into this big old world and I can no longer hold their hand or protect them.

So what do we do? How can we help? How can we make the most of those eighteen years?
Lots of love
Lots of patience
Lots of communication
Learn to Listen
Invest time in getting to know one another
Focus on the positive, work through the negatives
Build memories and share lessons that will last a lifetime
Share plenty of laughs, lots of hugs and teach kindness
The anxiety may still exist but all that you have built together with your child will make it a lot easier to let go of that hand.

What else could be helpful to ease our anxiety?
 This is my baby Erica and though she is 18 years old and she is officially an "Adult" in the eyes of others...to me she will always be my lil mama :)





7 comments:

  1. All so true. One thing I ve learned is adult children still need their parents too.
    Angela @ Time with A & N

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Angela, it seems no matter how old we get we always need to know we have our parents to lean on :). Thank you for your visit.

      Delete
  2. Your daughter is so beautiful- as a child and "adult"! My daughter recently moved out and I honestly worry about her now more than ever. You have some great tips! One of my favorites that you listed is to "invest time in getting to know one another." This is an ongoing thing as you must get to know them at each stage of life. I am really enjoying getting to know my almost 20-year-old daughter as an "adult" and forging a new bond with her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Candace thank you and welcome :)! Isn't it a blessing we get to bond with them on a different level? I so enjoy my "dates" with Erica at this stage, such eye openers lol. Lets continue to enjoy this ride and thanks again for stopping by.

      Delete
    2. Yes, those "dates" are such a blessing. My daughter shares a lot with me so sometimes they are intensely eye-opening! I wouldn't change a thing though and totally agree with you to "enjoy this ride".

      Delete
  3. Hi Mari! My kids are just 8 and 2 so we still have a long way to go and a lot of "firsts" to experience. I agree with everything you said and I can just hope that I get better and better at parenting as my kids grow older. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have plenty of time to build some great bonds and memories. Just always remember to try to keep lines of communication open :). Thanks for commenting and visit. See you again soon I hope.

      Delete

I believe in freedom of speech but not at the expense of others. Please don’t confuse that with bashing, use of foul language or total disrespect of others.

Feel free to comment, post, share your own experience and ask questions all in a respectful manner. I welcome debates. Feel free to disagree and express it if you so wish but again always with respect to others. I am sure we can find ways to express our opinions without a shouting match or bullying.

I reserve the right to delete any content left on my blog that I deem not respectful to myself or others. Again we all have freedom of expression but this is my blog. By posting a comment on my blog you grant me the right to use, display, publish, reproduce, transmit and distribute your comment in any manner is see fit in the future i.e. books, video or presentation.

My goal is to host a caring, honest and respectful environment. A place where parents can have an interesting exchange with one another.