Saturday, October 5, 2013

Monitoring our Children

Phone trackers, Cable box codes, Computer disabling, hand held devices with timed cutoff switches.  I see commercial ads for this and more. I read articles in parenting magazines discussing this issue so I wonder, how much is too much? Granted we all want our children to be safe and we all want what is best for them.

We have a responsibility to make the best choices for them and set them on the right path. But when do we start to teach them the way and let them start figuring things out on their own? Isn't it our responsibility to provide them with the tools for them to be able to use good judgment?

I only really put thought to this when my daughter told me during her senior year in H.S. that her friend’s mother tracked her every move via her cellphone. That her parents could see where she was at all times on their computer or on their cellphones. I was surprised but also curious. I had loads of questions all my daughter would go back to was her parents were very over protective.

If you only teach but don’t sit back and watch the results, if you only preach but don’t allow them to try, are you really doing your job? Every chance we get to allow our children to show us that they have learned the lessons should be taken.  When they ask us permission to visit a friend, when they ask to stay out an extra hour, let’s say yes and see if they prove to us they know how to watch the time. When they ask to stay up late, let’s say ok and see if they get themselves up in time for school. Let’s say yes more often and see what happens. Also with all the responsibilities we carry on a daily, where are we finding all this time for all this monitoring? Don’t we want to just relax sometimes? Don’t we have our own lives to live?

These are things I wonder.  What do you have to say?


14 comments:

  1. I used to use the Family Locator app on my sons cell phone when my sons were in high school - it made me feel more confident that they arrived at school and at home.

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    1. Thanks for visit Antionette, appreciate your share.

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  2. I never used any of these, never thought to either. I wonder what age a parent may want to stop the monitoring. My 19 year old niece just found out her parents track her every move, she was not happy about this at all, felt they were invading her privacy.

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    1. Camii as always thanks for share. I am glad I have provoked conversations lol.

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  3. I always love the pictures you use! I must admit I am a "creeper mom" as my daughter would say... I have an app to know where she is and I follow all of her social media sites. The app was put on my phone as more of an emergency plan than my not trusting where she was. I really realized how much I used it though when she recently deleted it because she needed more room on her phone. That was her excuse anyway, although highly unlikely :)... She lives on her own now and I am certain I have instilled some good values in her. I do miss the comfort of looking at my phone and seeing she is home safe.
    Great post Mari! I can definitely see both sides on the topic.

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    1. Candace, thank you for share and visit. "Creeper mom?" to funny, I don't want to be that lol. It is totally what we instill in them from early that will reward us later, have great day see you soon :).

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  4. Very thoughtful and thought-provoking. My children are both still very young, so I do have a great need to know where they are at all times. I do, however agree that our jobs as parents have to be to equip them with the tools necessary to make sound decisions. When my kids are older, old enough to have these devices, I can imagine that these are some things that we may want to consider for our own sanity. Even if we did decide to use them, I can see how there has to be some conversation about a time when we would have to rely less on tracking devices and more on the sound decision making of our young people. After all, those decisions will seemingly be the ultimate test of whether or not we have done a good job. Great post!

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    1. Pink thanks for visit and comments :). Hope to see you again soon.

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  5. We don't monitor our kids much. I trust them to use common sense and decency. If they break that trust they will lose all privileges. It helps that I homeschool and they're never that far from me too. :)

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    1. Missy H thanks for comments and visit :) Hope to see you again

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  6. My girls are both very small and I just don't know what I will do when they get older. I think about all I got away with and it worries me. Things are different now and even though I know I will trust them. It's all the other people that scare me.

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    1. FM, thanks for comments. Well I try to look at it this way, we teach them best we can at home and then we have to let them go. We can't keep them in a bubble that is just not living. Give them the tools, watch them use it! Have fun with your little ones time goes by quickly :)

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  7. My children are still young and I work at their school so I am around them right now and get to monitor the influences they are around as well. The digital age today is so different than when I was a kid, they have access to so much more information. I believe if we can instill the right information to them ourselves before they get it from someone else, they can have the tools to be independent and not pressured into the wrong decisions. That is my hope, I don't want to hover too much when they get older but I will still expect respect from them to let me know where they are and to openly communicate without judgement.

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    1. Kelly , thanks for comments. Yes like you said we have to give them as much information and guidance as we can from home before outside influences are what they gravitate to. Visit again soon I hope :)

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