Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Why are you Crying?

Busy day, long hours just picked you up from the sitters. Settling us in and about to start to make dinner. You are crying. Why? Your clean, diapers changed, I gave you loads of hugs and kisses. You don’t look hurt so I know in general everything is fine.

I read you a story, we hugged and kissed, I turned on your nightlight we said goodnight and I tucked you in. Ten minutes later you start to cry. Why?

I’m in the living room reading a book and you’re in your room where I left you ten minutes ago playing with your toys. Out of nowhere you come running to me in tears, Why?

These are some of those parent moments we don’t have the answers. What we do to handle this situation can bring us peace of mind or hours of torment.  Do we rush to solve the problem or do we allow things to play themselves out?

I see time and time again in the grocery store, at the doctor’s office, in the playground or when I go visit some friends how parents are investing way too much time and energy on asking Why? How many times does it take for you to get an answer? How many ways can you ask the same question? Who has all this time?

I suggest we check that all is well then see where things go. I use to give my daughter a few extra hugs, wipe her face and ask her why she cried. If the answer was “because I want to be with you” I would respond according to situation. A few more minutes of conversation perhaps another quick story or a few hugs and that was that.  If it’s anything other than illness, we need to teach our children to soothe themselves. We can’t allow crying to become a tool used to get our way. A few minutes to reinforce that we are around and all is well is all that is needed.

Do we really want to spend an hour asking Why are you Crying?

What do you think? Do we have the time for repeated questions or can we better use our time on other means?


  1. I competently agree with you one this one!! I have so many friends that can't allow their children to be themselves, and be independent. My daughter is only a year old, but she knew how to self sooth as early as 4 months. She rubs her ear and head while sucking her thumb.. it's the cutest little thing!

    1. Nicole thanks for your visit and comment. It is always great to see our little ones find their way, glad she made you smile :)

  2. I know right...why you crying? Aaaah, as I said before, cherish these moments as they are fleeting...just not fast enough for you now but just wait..

    1. Antionette, I know what you mean about fleeting my little one is 18 years old lol, time just flew by :) But....I am so not about that crying game.

  3. Love this Mari! People try to have these full adult conversations with little kids about why they are upset. Sometimes there is no reason. I, like you, usually just gave extra hugs and moved on...

    1. Thanks Candace, appreciate your comments and visit :)


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