Sunday, July 6, 2014

When your child has too many toys and it's your fault

Ever have those moments when you look in your child's room and say "wow this is a lot of toys"?

Ever stop and observe your kids at play and notice they only really play with three out of the ten toys you got them over the holidays?

Do you wonder if your kids are growing up with the generosity trait and with the gift of giving?

This is something that came to me as I read an article that questioned how do you teach a five year old to be giving and to share toys?

As parents we all want to give our children everything and to do for them what perhaps our parents couldn't or wouldn't do for us for whatever reason. I say this from experience because I am one of those parents. The difference in my approach is and was moderation. I saw how those children who had it "all" treated their belongings and treated people and I didn't want my daughter to be that way.

From early on I implemented one in one out rule. What does that mean?

It means nothing new comes in unless you give away something you already have. We would do this four times a year as the seasons changed. It went for toys and gently used clothing as well.
I began doing this since my daughter was born but by age four she was right along beside me.

I would set up two boxes and have her pick which toys to give away. I taught her that there were other children who had no toys and that she should share so that if possible she could get a new toy. I taught her how to care for her dolls so the hair was nicely kept and all accessories intact.

As the years passed it was something normal for her to have a bag set aside in her room for when the time came to donate. I saw how happy she would be that her bag had toys and clothes that someone else would love just as much as she did. She took pride that her donations where in such good shape to share.

Another tool I used to reduce the abundance was a toy box. One that was just enough space for everyone to be happy. If it didn't fit in the box, it had to go or it wouldn't come in.
This saved time, space and money.

I know little girls have kitchen sets and doll houses and boys have cars, trains and lego sets. My daughter had all the above but we kept them simple. Everything wasn't out at once and a designated area was set up for those specific toys. She knew she had to clean up after herself (that is another must teach, I am not your maid).

This past weekend we did this same routine, nineteen years later she still leaving me bags on the side. I am including some pics and some links for organization ideas.

Make giving, sharing and appreciating something normal in your life. Something ingrained in their upbringing so it is practiced daily and never a surprise to do. Make this a gift that keeps on giving. To the parent, our gift is to raise an unselfish child we are proud of and who brings us and others joy. To the child, the gift is they are not the only ones that matter and they are not the only ones that benefit from taking care of something they love. To the World, the gift is kindness, empathy, compassion and love. Stress free!

What do you think? In what ways are you teaching and in what ways are your children giving back? Never to early or to late to start.

ikea.com
ikea.com
target.com
kohls.com

6 comments:

  1. I love this concept. It's so funny that we think that our kids need all of these toys and the fact is....they rarely play with them all. At least mine on doesn't. LOL. At least twice a year we trim down his toy stash and donate to Goodwill, etc. You are certainly doing the right thing. I love it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, thanks for comment and visit. I find sometimes we get more excited about the toys then our own kids do lol

      Delete
  2. Going to sound strange but working in the field I am has helped. They see what I do at work and in their way they are starting to give their time to people.

    As for stuff, I always said that all they needed were a few and that was it. I would take them out into the world and let them explore.

    Your rule is good.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Patrick thanks for visit and comments. I always say we are the best example everyone else that adds is just extra but it is our responsibility in the end :)

      Delete

I believe in freedom of speech but not at the expense of others. Please don’t confuse that with bashing, use of foul language or total disrespect of others.

Feel free to comment, post, share your own experience and ask questions all in a respectful manner. I welcome debates. Feel free to disagree and express it if you so wish but again always with respect to others. I am sure we can find ways to express our opinions without a shouting match or bullying.

I reserve the right to delete any content left on my blog that I deem not respectful to myself or others. Again we all have freedom of expression but this is my blog. By posting a comment on my blog you grant me the right to use, display, publish, reproduce, transmit and distribute your comment in any manner is see fit in the future i.e. books, video or presentation.

My goal is to host a caring, honest and respectful environment. A place where parents can have an interesting exchange with one another.