google-site-verification: google25a08fc65649193e.html Living in Mommywood: There are no Two winners in a Competition

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

There are no Two winners in a Competition

I sometimes get into trouble when I talk about children and their participation in any type of competition. Sports or otherwise we should always remember they are children.
That being said when you do decide to have yours engage in these activities I feel as a parent it is your duty to then teach all that comes along with it.

This is a post I wrote some time back in regards to competition. Spring is around the corner and some of us are getting ready for those team sports and I thought it would be interesting to revisit my thoughts then and now. Tell me what you think.

illustration by

Re post:

Why is it that some parents want to teach their children that everyone is a winner?
That second place is great? That the whole team should get a trophy?
Does life give you a trophy for mediocre participation?
Does your boss give you a raise for working hard half of the year?

There is a difference between teaching your children to give their best, but in the end there can only be one winner. Teaching your children how to give their best starts with preparation and knowing what their strengths are. So encourage them to participate in activities they like not what you like. This is about them not you.

There are rules to competition. They exist for a reason. They are so everyone can come prepared to showcase their talents, their hard work and skills. The best will standout and of course win. If they don’t put in the work, have the skills or make the effort all wrapped in one, they lose. Please teach your children how to lose gracefully and how to win gracefully and how to be ok with both outcomes in the end.

What are some of the ways we can start to build better competition skills?
What are your thoughts? Mine are there can only be one winner, one Gold Medal, one First Place so I must teach my child this as well. I thought this then I think it now.
My daughter has won many Firsts but she has also lost and I have always been proud of how she has handled both all because of preparation.

Always stress free xo


  1. I have a son who plays baseball and basketball and is very competitive at both. And yes, sometimes the team will win and sometimes, they will not. In fact, that had an undefeated record this weekend until the championship game and then the loss.

    Thing is, my son was happy that they made it that far as I've been trying to teach my children that when we are believers in God and his grace, we must trust that our steps are ordered. So, if you win it was ultimately meant to be and if you didn't, that is okay and you can just work harder.

    Perfect post for someone like me who is preparing for all types of youth activities.

    1. Yulunda thanks for stopping by. So glad it touched you in some way. It will really come in handy in the next few years for sure, I know it helped in my home for sure. Thanks for support and hope to chat again soon :)

  2. I think kids need to learn that we can't always win and sometimes taking part has merit - Thanks for linking up to Pin Worthy Wednesday, I have pinned your post to the Pin Worthy Wednesday Pinterest Board.

    1. Amber thanks for the support. These lessons are very important indeed.

  3. I have always told my children just to be the best at what they attempt to do. While it is not always necessary that they we first winning, their attitude toward the game and other players is very important. If they do not win a competition, they are winners to me because they did their best and they can take the experience as a learning experience.

    1. Betty thanks for stopping by. I love what you pointed out about the attitude. It is indeed important to have a great attitude over all. Thanks for comment share hope to see you here again :)


I believe in freedom of speech but not at the expense of others. Please don’t confuse that with bashing, use of foul language or total disrespect of others.

Feel free to comment, post, share your own experience and ask questions all in a respectful manner. I welcome debates. Feel free to disagree and express it if you so wish but again always with respect to others. I am sure we can find ways to express our opinions without a shouting match or bullying.

I reserve the right to delete any content left on my blog that I deem not respectful to myself or others. Again we all have freedom of expression but this is my blog. By posting a comment on my blog you grant me the right to use, display, publish, reproduce, transmit and distribute your comment in any manner is see fit in the future i.e. books, video or presentation.

My goal is to host a caring, honest and respectful environment. A place where parents can have an interesting exchange with one another.