What does your Peace look like?

Happy Sunday! As I watered my plants this morning and smiled as I walked about a memory came to mind I wanted to share. Enjoy this glorious day dolls :)

On my walk the other night I stopped and sat on a bench and observed these two little girls, twin sisters playing on the grass. Their parents sat some distance away which allowed them some independence but still close enough to offer protection. They had the same outfits on which were cute but I don't like the identical look thing personally so I had to take a moment to refocus on why I had stopped in the first place. They sat on the grass pulling handfuls out and placing it inside their baskets. They got up and rolled round barefoot than sat again and started again. No rush, no cares just their buckets, their hands and each other. I made sure I told the parents how happy watching their daughter's play made me and they smiled from ear to ear. When they walked away I began to think...

What does my Peace look like? I feel most peaceful when I'm on my walks or on my Yoga mat. Those are the moments when my mind is free of clutter and every breath brings clarity. I feel like a bird must feel in flight.

How are you maximizing that moment? I've learned to maximize those moments by letting go and just being.

What do you need to let go of, or add more of to obtain peace? I'd like to let go more of those moments when I look back at past events and wonder about a different outcome but I realize it's part of the process of growth. We should acknowledge those feelings and work through them then move on.

What does your Peace look like? Is it a specific place or thing? Is it a memory or is it something you are having difficulty reaching? Share and let's talk.

Always stress free xo,

Mari

Stop Apologizing

illustration by sarahkoontz.com

Hey my lovelies, happy Hump day!

I've been staring out the window in my office watching the cars go by and a huge smile came across my face thinking about my visit with my grandmother (baby #2) last night. She has linoleum flooring in the living room and for months now she has been very upset at the fact a piece under the sofa has torn away. She keeps asking me to fix it because "se ve muy feo (it looks very ugly)". So finally last night I invested my time on that. I had a friend of mine come with so we could take care of her floor.

During our visit and repairs I sat with her we laughed she asked the same five questions I answered in five different ways lol and we just cuddled up while my friend took care of her floor. I bought her a bag a seedless red grapes which she actually loves and expresses so. During our question session she asked about my daughter I showed her a picture of both of them on Sunday and she said "that's not me, I never met her before". I said "oh really, ok so look here is a better picture of her and I will tell her to come see you soon." I showed her a picture of my lil mama and widened the shot so she could see her face clearer. When I did this and handed her the phone I could see the joy in her eyes, she keep poking at my daughter's cheeks in the picture and smiling and giggling. I got teary eyed and had to take a deep breath. I got teary eyed on Sunday too, this situation really works on my emotions.

illustration by stepheniezamora.com

I share this story to pin point how precious life is, how valuable time is to valuable to be Apologizing for doing and being who we are.

Stop Apologizing for:

-not exercising

-exercising too much

-wearing tight jeans

-not wearing tight jeans

-having and enjoying sex with your partner or whom ever

-not having kids

-having more than two kids

-eating a piece a cake

-drinking your favorite wine

-not wearing makeup

-staying in bed all day

-going out to dinner and leaving the kid(s) at home

-buying yourself something nice

-not picking up the phone

-not following your friend on social media

-being single and loving your freedom

-choosing NOT to get married but starting your family

-being married and wanting to stay at home with your kids

Stop Apologizing for following your heart! For doing and being authentic to what makes you jump for joy and walk around with a smile on your face. For drawing outside the lines and for saying NO.

Be happy! Wake up with a smile, go to bed with a smile. Live in peace in your own skin. When the end of your journey is here what would you want your thoughts to be? Flashbacks of someone else's life or Your Life?

Always stress free xo

Mari

What does my Heart say?

Had a wonderful grateful filled and loving weekend. Spring cleaning at home and deep into my passions. My pens and pencils were put to good use and my camera saw some really beautiful things. Inspired!

This topic comes to you courtesy of Brainsparker, lovin this writing prompt app!

What does my Heart say?

My heart says that I'm in a happy place, that even though the ground is shacking the cement will soon dry and make it strong.

My heart says this is a good place to be, it's peaceful and full of joy and though it is small it is full of love and laughter.

My heart says some parts of my journey have been filled with sadness but what better way to reach the gratitude you feel today? 

illustration by clipartpanda

My heart says I love where I stand today and who stands with me today and looking back is not an option.

My heart says everyone is capable of love but only if they know how to love themselves first.

My heart says don't dim your light, don't bow your head, walk tall and proud.

My heart says thank you for taking care of me, for protecting me and for not lying to me. 

illustration by pixabay.com

My heart says thank you for all the laughter.

My heart says thank you for all the times your face bought me comfort.

My heart says continue to make the best choices that will help keep us healthy so we can live a long strong healthy life.

What does your heart say?

Always stress free xo

Mari

Not Broken, just Bent

Ever have that moment when you know there is still some good left but so many little bad things have clouded the way and you just don't know how you will or even can...get past them?

Love is not about being on a smooth ride it's about being on a ride worth staying on till the end.

Every little disagreement or lack of interest or even brakes in compatibility are not the end all or be all that we paint them to be while we are in the moment. It is only when we allow them to pile up and build so high we can't see past them anymore that we are heading towards disaster. But how can we tell the difference between not Broken and just Bent?

illustration by kafkalives.org

I have a unique respect and affection for the word Broken, so much so I have it tattooed on the back of my neck. Only when I wear my hair up and especially in the Summer is it visible to all. When it is seen people's reactions are very interesting. Emotions are strong with that one little word.
But I find it powerful and freeing.

All relationships go through changes.
Nothing gets to the middle as it began and nothing ends as it started. If it does than it's actually sad because it means there was no growth and no addition and lots and lots of just dealing with.

As parents we get the sort of guaranteed 18 years of changes depending on your life's journey, I'm nearing 21 very soon. Had I not been willing to work with the Bent moments we certainly would have been Broken. I made a conscious choice, to do the best I could with what I had to make the ride with my daughter one worth staying on till the end.

illustration by jarofquotes.com

That same attention to details and dedication to success applies to all my other relationships and from my perspective it is something that at times many of us begin to lack and become neglectful of. We take for granted the little things that bought us together and begin to focus on things that with effort and communication could be smoothed out. We turn our backs on moments we think will always be there and let our attention be consumed by those uncomfortable episodes of daily life.

Love is not something forced, it's that tug in your heart that says "you really pist me off right now but I am so glad you will still be around for another hug later". Love is breath and changes.
Next time you hit a rough patch ask yourself...
"Will that really matter in the end?"
Not Broken, just Bent

illustration by indiabright.com

Share your thoughts, do you believe all relationships should just flow smoothly or are you open to accept that moments will come that test your invested time and energy?

Always stress free xo

Mari

Live the highest expression of Yourself

When I tell you that I will not accept something Believe me

When I say I am for real Trust me.

When I open my space to you Enjoy it

I aspire to always be like a Peacock

Expand my feathers and give you an amazing show. Be tall and glide as I walk so my presence is known. Turn from side to side so you can take in all the wonder of me and tip toe gracefully as not to scare you away.

illustration by starshineranch.com

I aspire to always be like a waterfall

Bold and ever flowing with natures gift. Sometimes loud sometimes quiet but always exciting to look at. Whether high up or low to the ground always leaving your mark behind. 

Never selfish always connecting with another to allow life to continue to go on.

illustration by andriodguys.com

I aspire to always be like a Boulder

Hard to miss and smoothed out with time. Strong, enduring, and no matter where it lands it always manages to hold its own.

illustration by theboulders.com

I aspire to always be Childlike

Never afraid to run free, let go of your hand and try new things. Always laughing, giggling and rolling around on the floor. Spitting things out that taste bad and asking for more when things are really good. Enjoying a game of make believe and never taking things to seriously.

illustration by gratitude planet.com

I aspire to always be like a Rose

Beautiful as she blooms inviting all to come and enjoy her beauty but with Thorns that say use caution as you approach. Bringing joy and brightness to her surroundings and leaving a sense of emptiness when she is gone. Reminding us that nothing last forever so enjoy each moment and shine brightly as you walk through life.

Always stress free xo

Mari

Sometimes Talk is Not Cheap

Happy Sunday! I am so looking forward to Spring I already started replanting and adding some new plants to my already filled home. I live in an apartment so space is limited for those that know about apartment living but I just feel so alive and happy around plants. I'll share some pictures soon.

Today I wanted to briefly bring you up to speed on my share about disappointment. I ended up requesting the Home Attendants removal but not before finding out some even more unsavory information and still the verbal diarrhea continued up until this past Friday when another family member reached out to me to express his view and opinions. Keep in mind no one else in my family plays any role in my grandmother's care. With that being said as I was being semi attacked and questioned for my actions as I breathed deeply and closed my eyes I thought about this...Talk is Cheap...or is it?

Remember the phrase "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me?"

illustration by quotes gram.com

How as kids our parents would tell us to shrug off someone's ugly words or perhaps at some point we told that to our our children? Then hopefully we learned better and realized that words do hurt. Sometimes even more than a slap in the face, at least a slap is a sting for a moment but what is left behind from that what came with that slap is what lingers forever.

Talk is not Cheap when it leaves scars. 

illustration by pinterest.com

When in anger or out of spite you say things that are hurtful just because you are feeling hurt yourself. You feel that if you unleash your arsenal of words you will feel better, you will get the results you want, you will...Win. But you don't what you do instead is leave a trail of destruction that sometimes takes years to repair or perhaps can never be repaired at all.

Hey listen it happens we all get angry at some point but blind anger is dangerous. I always think of this even before I started to live more mindfully and practice Meditation and Yoga. Even in my youth I was aware and conscious of name calling you can't turn back from that. Then when I had lil mama I always asked myself "would I speak to her like that or would I want her spoken to like that by someone else?" The answer was and continues to be No. 

Most parents are always protective of their children regardless of the circumstances so my perspective is to always keep my child in mind when dealing in explosive situations and communications. Words can be a dangerous tool if used poorly. 

illustration by pinterest.com

I've been working really hard at my communication skills for quite some time now and I am grateful to have learned better. Lot's of reading, talking, podcasts, volunteering, listening and trail and error but I can't give up. I must try every day to do better than yesterday. I was watching our Republican candidates a few days ago and felt such shame in these men who want to lead our Country? These are what people consider Leaders? Even those exchanges if we don't pay attention are a distraction. They invest time in insults just not to tackle the more important issues. That's just what happens in verbal attacks. So much is being said emotions go all over the place, talk is not Cheap.

So what can we do to make our talks cost less?

-BREATHE

-STOP

-WALK AWAY

-BREATHE

-STOP

-THINK

-REVISIT at another TIME

Whatever issues arise will still be there later, give yourself some space to choose your words carefully. This idea is Priceless.

What are your thoughts, how do you handle conflict? Do you give into the urge to lash back or do you remain focused and come back to issues later? What do you teach your kids about their use of words to hurt others? What lessons have you yourself learned? I'd love to know share your thoughts.

Always stress free xo

Mari

I am still Growing Up

Maturity is widening the gap between impulse and action

What a statement, hello my lovelies what do you think about that?
Does it ring any truth for you?
It does for me. As I recap 2015 and all the ups and downs I experienced I am focusing on my attitude and behavior and how I handled myself. Did I fly off the handle as I quickly did in my teens and twenties? Did I sulk or suck my teeth, did I take a breath and slow myself down?

In all honesty I must say I am proud of the strides I've made but I did have a few fails.

Like when my daughter fell short on an expectation I had of her and the conversation wasn't very calm. I found myself raising my voice and repeating myself instead of finding a solution I totally shut her off and nothing was gained. Shortly after I was very disappointed in myself for projecting my expectations on her and ended up having to refocus and regroup.
That's what we do sometimes as parents and that's why we have moments of failure. Our expectations are just that ours, and when we project them on our children and even on others most times things don't turn out so great. Those are moments when as we mature we learn to bow our heads and apologize for behaving like a clown.

illustration by rawforbeauty.com

Then there was the time when my friend offered to help install my Air Conditioner window brackets and I totally flipped out because certain things around the window were moved and I being the crazy control nut with self diagnosed OCD lost my temper instead of explaining myself better. I raised my voice about moving the curtains and pushing some of the furniture around instead of just taking a deep breath and explaining myself better. I should have let my friend know I just like things in order and if you move my stuff around I need a heads up. The flip side of that was and is that my friend should have had more patience with me and listened better. It wasn't a challenge to his help it was just  an opportunity to respect how others handle stuff. We both failed that day but learned the lesson of compassion. When someone close to you is going through something, don't rush them. Be supportive and slow down.

And how can I not mention all the tests baby #2, my grandma has put me through. I tell you I still have hair because I just don't want to pull mines out though at times I wish I could pull someone else. From her threats on hitting me with her cane to her acting up in the doctor's office to her outright refusal to cooperate on numerous occasions she truly has tested me the most but with many fails came many passes. I've learned to reign my need for control in when it comes to her special needs and just go with the flow. Ride the wave as I say. I have learned but still have a ways to go on how to adjust my role from one moment to the next when it comes to her. I am learning daily how to let her dictate what my day with her will be like. This truly is my biggest challenge, Alzheimers is no joke geez....

So I repeat again...Maturity is widening the gap between impulse and action

illustration by rebelgrain.com

If we get to a place where we use impulse less and actions more than we are growing steady. We are getting closer to the person we want to become. Maturity is a destination, a place we hope to reach at some point. It is not an easy journey but one I hope most agree is a worth while trip.

What about you, have you had any failures recently that got you closer to Maturity? What are your thoughts on Growing Up?

Always stress free xo

Mari

Let's talk Drugs and our Children

When we hold in our negative emotions they manifest in ways that hurt both our minds and our bodies. Choose your intentions by the outcome you wish to achieve.

My daughter is the best teacher I have ever had, she ranks above most of my actual teachers in my academic life. She has been teaching me things since she was about three years old. From how to not like messes but accept that they happen anyway, to dealing with shopping for sneakers instead of cute shoes, from talking about Yu Gi Oh to why we should question 911, from Lil Wayne's lyrics to Ernest Hemingway's books, from global warming to Prada's latest clothing line. Our lessons are endless.

One thing that has been a running topic over the past several years is the legalization of Marijuana use. Like her mother when something interests her the research is extensive and thorough. My daughter doesn't come to the table unprepared.

Upon entering H.S. the many topics as parents I hope we touch aside from academics is social activities and expectations. The different challenges and obstacles they will face and how best to approach them when they arise. One of those subjects will be drug use. I don't care what neighborhood you live in, rich or poor, what race or income drugs are present and our kids have access to them. It is pure neglect and stupidity to think "your" child won't be touched by this.

illustration by funerallocation.com

So of course as her parents, both her father and I gave her the "speech" the pros and cons and shared our experiences. We didn't try to make lite of the matter but we didn't drill fear in her either. During her last years in H.S. I noticed that our conversations were touching more and more about parties and the things that were going on inside them. Drinking, smoking and sex where part of the scene though I am sure it had been for some earlier than that but it was for her the comfortable time to chat about it more often and with a larger vocabulary and points.

Long story short my position then was be careful what you partake in because you alone will pay the consequences. Respect yourself and your body and don't do anything you will be ashamed of later and have fun and explore within in reason and safety. Live your life. So with that smoking weed entered our lives.
I am not against or for , I am no rep for what should be going on in anyone's home but I am for communication and picking your battles.

Use to be that when you thought of drugs you lumped Marijuana in like an enemy. I know that it wasn't until my daughter educated me and I further educated myself about its origins and vast uses that I was more aware and could further parent best with more knowledge and information. I've commented in the past how to most drinking in college is a right of passage and no one thinks anything of it but more kids die from alcohol abuse than marijuana use. Again I am not advocating I am stating facts.

I don't like the smell, I could care less about its calming affects I just don't have any interest. But I am a parent I am her mom and I will be open to discussions because I want to be respectful of her life choices and I want to understand her views. I don't want to be negative and pick a battle on something that is not worth the while.
I have stated my views and she has stated hers. We have put rules into place where our boundaries aren't crossed and we continue to talk openly and honestly about our choices. She's a full time student and holds a full time job and has a wonderful grade point average so her current choices aren't affecting her long term goals.

illustration by boolino.com

My intention is peace and respect. My intention is to continue to nurture our twenty plus years of connection and communication. My intention is not to make a mountain out of a mole hill.
I am the mother of an almost twenty one year old who is in her third year of college. We didn't get here by fighting over silly things in elementary school like what shoes to wear or hairstyle to use or in high school whether or not to use makeup or go to a movie with her friends. We got here by talking. By respectful communication. By listening even when we didn't want to hear the words that were being said.

So, you find yourself at a cross road with your child(ren) about life choices what should you do? My perspective?

-pick your battles
-start great communication skills when they are young
-be informed
-run your own house
-find a compromise

Only you know your child best and only you know what works in your home. Make those choices with that information first, not by what you see others do. There is no one template for good parenting but there is one no fail general rule...Communication.

What do you think? Are there subject matters that you are sure won't be affecting you? How do you think it is best to deal with subject matters you and your children don't agree with? Share your experiences here.

Always stress free xo

Mari

New York City Blizzard 2016

Happy Sunday!!!

Well in NYC we had our first big storm and though it was beautiful to see I won't lie it truly is an inconvenience to many. I ventured out and took these pics hope you enjoy. My poor hands were frozen by the time I was done.

Right now I am dreaming of sand between my toes and the sun on my back.

Ice cream and sitting under a tree or a nice dinner outside of a Mulberry street restaurant. 

Summer, I miss you!!!

Always stress free xo,
Mari

Compromise

illustration by alisonbraun.ca

Some want to make the word Compromise 

a bad thing. 

As if when you Compromise

you lose and they win.

Some may only focus on Humans when it comes to Compromise 

but in Life we are all connected.

Some want to show Compromise as a weakness 

but today I am focused on the strengths...

illustration by sodahead.com

illustration by pinterest.com

illustration by pinterest.com

Always stress free xo

Mari

The journey of being Fearless

I no longer fear the idea of being Fearless

I want to have butterflies in my stomach each and 

every time I try something new, yet do it anyway

I no longer seek the security of a plan

I want to just get up and go

I no longer yearn for that approval

I want to shock you with my courage

I no longer wish to keep the peace

I want to stir the change needed

 to make a difference

I no longer desire to hold myself back until I am ready

I won't know if I am ready unless I just jump right in

illustration by filtr.com

I no longer fear the idea of being Fearless

I want to experience the rush of anxiety

I no longer think its best to always use caution

Sometimes you just have to move with your emotions

Once it is was my goal to reach you, I thought in doing so all things would fall into place and that would be the end of that 

but I see now that for me part of my peace, 

tranquility and triumph is the uneasiness that 

Life brings me

illustration by pinterest.com

Fear less is good but sometimes Fear more can be even better

Live your Best Life

Always stress free xo

Mari

Quick & Easy Pizza is never out of style

Hello my lovelies! I have been slacking on my food shares lately and I apologize. It isn't that we aren't eating because of course we are lol but it just has been a crazy last few months. The holidays always mess with my routine as I am sure it does with most of us. You are making these large meals, visiting friends or eating out so sitting a preparing food posts unless that is truly your routine just isn't a priority.

So I thought I would go back in my vault and share a quick, simple and tasty treat that I go to when I am in a rush but want some Pizza in my life! I shared this some time ago so it will also serve as my Throw Back Thursday!!! Hope you enjoy :)

Ingredients:
-muffins or bagels
-pasta sauce
-mozzarella cheese
-any toppings you like

Thursday Reveal....

So my reveal today is I love Pizza, yeah who doesn't? I love Pizza but I don't want to order it, pick it up or make it from scratch that is unless it is easy and stress free.

When a girlfriend of mine shared with me a way that I could make Pizza  at anytime for under 20 minutes I was hooked. She said she couldn't believe I had never tried it. I explained to her I had never thought of it actually. Can you believe that? Please do, its the truth I never thought of it or even heard of what I am about to share....

Here goes

1- Slices of bread, English muffins or bagels (depends on your liking and amount depends on family size).

2- Sauce, whatever flavor or brand you like. I use Ragu Traditional when I want to keep simple.

3- Mozzarella Cheese already shredded is best saves you time but if you want to cut your on slices go right ahead!

4- Toppings, this time I used Pepperoni for my added topping but as always I say use what works best for you.

Lay out the slices, spread the sauce, add toppings and cheese. Place on a tray toast till cheese is melting and bread is crisp....DONE!!!!!

I got home tonight at 6:15 and by 6:35 we were eating. 

This is my idea of quick and easy. Here are some pics!!

Always stress free xo

Mari

What really Matters in Your Life?

Have the things that matter to you grown and changed as you have grown and changed? Are you taking stock in your progress as you grow older? Do you find yourself stuck and don't know where to begin?

illustration by mindset daily.com

The truth of the matter is that it isn't until something drastic happens to us that we realize we have been dealing with some BS we are not interested in dealing with but have been because we are programmed to think we just have to. How we grow up, the values our parents and other family members teach us and even our friends help mold the crap we sometimes carry around.

December was a month full of several ending events. As I shared not to long ago we had some deaths to deal with that we are learning from and working through. I am grateful for all the talks that have taken place between my daughter and I. Support is always great but clarity is even better. Communication coming from love never fails.

I shared that an old friend contacted me about her mother's passing. This Summer will mark four years since we have spoken. The time is very clear to me because our end is very clear to me. As I prepared to go to the wake I had so many emotions to put in order, so many thoughts to gather and put in there place. As I parked my car and walked to the funeral home I found myself clinching my fists just a little tighter for support.

illustration by believeinthesparks.com

As I made my way through the crowd and said my hellos, gave hugs and kisses one thing was very clear to me I had walked into the same life I had left long ago but just with a different background.
The faces had aged but everything else was the same. The conversations where the same just with more added drama and bitterness. It was as if their feet hadn't moved in any forward direction. I was sad, I felt trapped and couldn't wait to leave.

To the people that mattered I made sure I said how sorry I was that we were meeting again under such circumstances to the rest I felt no need for explanation. I was grateful that my history with them was remembered. That the years I invested in them left a positive mark therefore we still had love for one another and now that we are older, even more respect.
Just before I left I held my old friends hand and told her I loved her, was sorry again about her mom, wished her all the best and assured her that we were good. That life had played out as it should have for us. That we are where we need to be, growing is part of life and that's what we will continue to do. I emphasized they knew where to reach me gave her another big hug and left.

As I drove away I was grateful. I don't mean for this to come across as mean or selfish but I was grateful I had left them behind. I was grateful I chose self preservation over loyalty to a friendship that for many years had stopped serving a purpose. I was grateful that I had chosen peace of mind over contemplating what others would think and say. I was grateful I had learned to value life and my life most of all to know when it was time to walk away.

illustration by mastering today.me

I asked in the beginning have the things that matter to you grown and changed as you have grown and changed? But I guess that may not be a fair question if you have remained as you are in your life. I also said that it wasn't until something drastic happened that we stop and review our paths. Tomorrow may never come for some and do you think if they knew that they wouldn't have changed something in their life?

Someone at the wake as I was saying my goodbyes asked me if I was on Face Book. Really? We haven't spoken in close to four years and that is how you want us to communicate? To stay relevant in each others lives? Not instead with a call or even an email or text? You want me to scroll through crap on your timeline just to see pictures of your life? To press like just so your numbers go up instead of us actually having a meaningful discussion? No thanks I'll pass. I'm not interested in logging on to a social media sight to see what's going on with you. That would require I take time away from more important matters to sit and look at a screen nah I'm good.

I am not anti social media truly I'm not but what I am anti is anything that takes away from the present and from truly engaging with those I love. I'd rather look at my daughter's face and see her smile than look at a screen and see what others are doing. Sure I get the reasoning behind connecting with loved ones who live far away but honestly...how often are you scrolling through things that are not loved ones related? Things that really Matter.

illustration by yourbizrules.com

Death is always a thing that fuels change. But it is only when you truly value life that those changes matter. Why wait for an end to start your new beginning? Self preservation, value, respect, kindness and love...What really Matters in Your Life?

Always stress free xo
Mari

Am I just supposed to be Seen and Not Heard?

When as the story is told God took a rib from Adam to make Eve did he have in mind that "Eve" would walk around in total silence? Was it intended for her only purpose to be pleasing in all ways to just "Adam'?

As a woman with confidence it is always sad for me to come across over and over again any references to the template that another has set for what "womenhood' is suppose to be, look like or represent. What I'm suppose to be able to say, to wear or to even do with my mind and body.

I am particularly disturbed by the recent comments I came across when it came to Serena Williams as Sports person of the Year. I am not even going to touch on the horse debate I am only going to point out that if the search is for a person, then a horse no matter what it's accomplishments were does not allow for qualification.

illustration by forbes.com

To put it plainly I am sick and tired of 'old white men" or any "white man" for that matter talking about women of color or any women that may not fit their agenda. Somehow it just always goes back to race and acceptability. Then in turn it spills over to other women and our society and the blatant disrespect is a free for all.

I have here two pictures of two equally beautiful women in their own right. Each with their own accomplishments and their own focus and goals. One was and is deemed sexy, beautiful, appealing and not offensive the other manly, aggressive, setting women back and looking like a hooker. Can you guess which one is which?

Sports Illustrated has a specific issue dedicated to women and swimsuits. I am all for it, if you are a confident woman in your own skin and want to show it I am right there with you. What I wear, how my hair looks and the makeup I use shouldn't give anyone the right to label me. But if we are going to be dropping labels wouldn't a women pulling her panties down to just above her Vagina be more of a hooker than the woman sitting down in a chair clearly wearing pantyhose and her legs slightly more closed?

I love sexy tops. I love soft materials against my skin. I enjoy a see through blouse on any given day. I love dressing to fit my body, I have curves and I am not ashamed or afraid to show them. It doesn't give anyone the right to assume I am anything other than a respectable woman. Everything has its time and place yes that is true but again why can't we respect one another? Men want to tell me I need to cover up, why? I have to do something to my appearance to make you comfortable? Get the **** out of here! And if my skin color is not to your liking then I get judged twice as hard as the female next to me? Not to mention the dumb crap that comes out of your mouth directed at women in general?

illustration by eonline.com

And ladies...again why are we so harsh on one another? Isn't it bad enough that some men still want to keep us down period?

If you like to cover up great, if you like to put it all out there then hey and if you take the in between route more power to you but put your mouth to better use and stop adding fuel to the flames that are already burning against us.

These two ladies pictured here work very hard at keeping their bodies looking as they do. Genetics and hard work!!! If you don't have the genetics, like me then we have to put in the hard work! From my perspective and what I have tried to teach my own daughter is that my body is just that...my body. I am here to please myself first. Don't judge yourself on someone else's looks or build for we are all different and have different things to offer.

I am not not here for you to just look at, I have a mind of my own and I will use it. I will not change myself to fit your template but instead I will mold my own template and you can learn to accept that.
I will not tear another woman down to build myself up and I will not teach my daughter that her value comes through any man. I will not laugh or giggle at your degrading comments just because I don't want to stir up any trouble. I am a woman and I will not only be Seen I will also be Heard.

What's your perspective? Do you believe women have a specific role they are suppose to play and fall under? Do you believe women are judged more harshly today than in the past? As a parent what do you think can be done to continue to raise strong, confident, independent beautiful, loving women? Share your comments please.

Always stress free xo
Mari

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Wanting my Rewards Now not Later

Dolls Christmas is almost here but can I share I can't wait till it is over! All these greedy, self absorbed people walking around me I have just had enough! Don't you gift your loved ones all year long with the basics of just love, presence and kindness? Are you so F***** up all year long that you have to BUY the people around you in one day? All I have seen lately has sucked the joy of this holiday for me and because I am not wrapped up in myself and have instead actually been dealing with regular life issues I wanted to share my latest thoughts maybe they express something you have put some thought into as some point as well.

Love and attention lasts longer 

than any Purchased gift...remember that

 Happy Holidays!

Is there life before death?
Why aren't we living our best lives before we die?

If you watch the news on a daily basis you see that it is full of gloom. Death and poverty everywhere. People treating each other poorly constantly. What is our fellow man doing to one another?

I watch my daughter and wonder what the future holds for her, I walk pass a park and as I watch the children play I ask myself what is in store for you? How long will that innocence last before someone or something tarnishes your beautiful life?

We walk around as if we have all the time in the world and it is only when tragedy occurs either around us or in our own lives that we stop and refocus. But why does it take tragedy for us to focus on what really matters? Or why do certain people use religion to tell me that my rewards will come later after my time on this earth is done?

illustration by shutterstock.com

I want my rewards now, I don't want to wait for later. I want to enjoy Living. I am not referring to mass consumption of things I am referring to just day to day things. Nature, family, friends, making a living, love...
I want my hard work to pay off now. When I die it is an idea that my soul goes someplace better and that may be wonderful but why can't I also have better now?

Self care. I believe that if all of us valued that concept it could trickle over to every aspect of our lives and every interaction we had with anyone around us. Is it wrong to want to obtain that? Would it be considered selfish and if it is, why?
Why is it selfish to take care of our needs first and have the goodness of that nurturing spill over onto everything else? Ever wonder why only those who neglect their needs only to be miserable in doing so are the ones who label you selfish when you are their opposite?

I want to live my best life now, I have no interest in reaping rewards later. I want to matter, I want to help, I want to make a difference...now.
So how can I do that? How can I have it all like the ideal dream? I came up with this list, what do you think?
-rest
-sleep
-have periods of time where doing nothing is doing something
-volunteer
-practice kindness
-enjoy your friendships
-smile often
-kiss a lot
-dance
-talk to strangers
-learn something new everyday
-read
-turn OFF your gadgets
-have dinner with your loved ones often and talk together
-stop procrastinating

illustration by quotepixel.com

There are so many rewarding things we can do on a daily that our lists can be endless but if we start with kindness and a smile that alone is enough to make any day great. What do you think? How can we live our best lives now, be rewarded now and not have it be labeled selfish?
While you think about that I will be getting my ball rolling by heading to my living room to watch a movie with my lil mama!

Always stress free xo

Mari

Wrapping things Up

Aha! Got your attention, right. What on earth came to mind when you read my title? So many possibilities let's just leave it at that.

Hey loves, always nice to have you drop by and see what's up in Mommywood.

illustration by bradys100thingstodo.com

Can you believe its December!In the blink of an eye we are already ending the year. Are you ready for 2016? How did you guys do on your "Bucket List" as most call it? Mine is called Accomplishment List. When I think of a bucket I think of dirty water and clean floors or dirt in the back yard that is not anywhere near my life's adventure thoughts.

I've been reflecting and refocusing my energies getting ready for all the grand wonders to come in 2016. How can a New Year be amazing if we go into it with our old energy right?! Personally 2015 wasn't so bad if I look at the big picture. I mean yeah I had a few pebbles trip me as I walked down a few roads but I caught myself and kept it moving.

Isn't life about doing just that, overcoming the bumps on the road? Isn't being successful the ability to overcome things that get in our way?
Don't we love to see when our kids fall and get right back up? They don't even flinch its like "oh how did that happen? ok well keep it moving and they do!!!

illustration by pinterest.com

My daughter is a ball of energy most of the time it is only on days when she has put in very long hours in school and work that she walks in the house in silence. I have learned in those days to just let her walk by and wait for her cue to chat later. Her energy is contagious and the other night she taught me another great lesson...
Go out and Get it!

In her very colorful choice of words which I won't repeat but instead clean up she shouted in the middle of our living room "Mami whatever you want just Go out and Get it" Whatever you need tell me and I will help you get it!!! It is our time we about THIS MONEY!!!"

That declaration was amusing yet powerful. We can't expect things to fall on our laps better jobs, financial freedom, healthier life styles etc... We must make a commitment to ourselves to take the steps to Go out and Get it.

So I am committing to the following:
-cutting out more sweets
-sleeping more
-reading more
-adding another $25 to a savings account weekly (it adds up trust me!)
-revamping my families budget plan
-trying something new everyday even something small
-making more of an effort to cross things OFF my Accomplishment List
-more networking
-more photography adventures
-more Mindful living

illustration by pixteller.com

What things will you be focusing on in 2016? Anything you dropped the ball on in 2015 you want to try your hand at again? Please share I love to be motivated!

Always stress free xo

Mari