Friday, August 23, 2013

I thought your visit was only Temporary..

Here we go the moment we have been waiting for has arrived, bag is packed, your six year old is in the car with daddy, your practicing your breathing technique and walking to the car…the new baby is coming.

Everyone is so excited and that includes your six year old. For nine months you have been preparing for this moment. Sharing with her all the new changes the family will be going through. How great being a big sister will be, how the baby will love her so and how she will teach him or her loads of stuff.

She sees all the new things you buy for the baby’s room, all the tiny clothes, the baby bottles the toys and she is happy. She is looking forward to having someone to play with, to talk to and to share in all her adventures.

Several months have now passed and that excitement has died down some and most especially for your six year old, who is now feeling neglected.
Why is the baby not playing with me yet? Why are you always with the baby? Why is no one excited about me?

Sibling jealousy starts at all ages and for different reasons. Some cases are worse than others. When a new family member is introduced and how we introduce them is important. What we share realistically as far as expectations can set the tone for years to come.

A young child waiting for their new brother or sister should be told aside from all the fun and playtime that is to come and all the lessons they will teach and all the love they will share that they will have to share your time and space and all those exciting things will come later not as soon as the baby is home.

Just as you prepare for the new baby, prepare your current child as well. Let them assist you in certain tasks, show them videos or books that will give them a visual on just how small babies really are and how they are not able to care for themselves. This will aid in their understanding of why mommy or daddy may not be available at times. Teach your child that baby needs lots of care and you would love it if she could help.

Preparation won’t remove the neglected feelings for some but it will make it easier to understand and shift the focus so that the older kids can find other ways to invest their emotions and time while parents are tending to the new family member.

If you have siblings, how did you deal with sharing the spotlight?


  1. This is a great post. We are going to be bringing home a new little one in November and my 2.5 year old is so excited, but I'm trying to be real with her, let her know that sometimes the baby is going to need time and energy and that sometimes she will have to wait. I don't think it's sinking in yet, but I'm sure it will when it's our new reality. Thanks for being so honest and relateable in your writing. I found you on Bloggy Moms by the way :D

    1. India, congratulations!!!:) look forward to your picture shares! At least you have started the conversation so that is fantastic sure as things come along you will continue to add. Best of luck, feel free to come see me again ask anything you like :) Thanks for support!


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