Friday, September 13, 2013

My so and so WON’T let me…


I set out to write a blog about ALL things motherhood related. This includes and goes without say being a Woman first, at least it does to me.

I was reading through my Café Mom groups posts over the weekend and came across a post with the title “My Husband won’t let me…” I had to pause, take a deep breath, and remember to respect others and then come back and finish reading the post.

“Won’t let me” is a strong statement. It is authoritative and brings to mind one person governing another to some degree or level.

I can’t wrap my mind around one adult saying that to another adult.

I was born, raised by my parents, taught life lessons to carry in life and became an adult. I met a wonderful man, built a family and raised an amazing young woman. Never in that journey did I sign up for him to Let me do anything.
When you decide to share your life with someone, it is a union to add, to build, to encourage to strengthen not to rule, dictate, suppress or belittle. What we both have to say matters, what we both feel has validation. We communicate and compromise not bend to one another’s wishes.

Same thing goes for how we chose to raise our daughter.
If that is the deal, then I am not signing up for it.

Words matter, make a difference and insight reaction. How can I as a female and a mother serve as a role model to my child/children if I am not validated as an individual, especially in my own home and relation.
Granted as parents there are things we don’t allow our children to do be it due to age or circumstances but we, I should hope, are aware that these restrictions have limitations. There will come a day that their own free will kicks in and they follow their own path. I raised a very independent young woman, because I myself am and have always been one and her father is and has always been very encouraging and respectful of this part of us. We never just said no just because. We always tried our best to be age appropriate and fair.

How can I have put in all this work and effort, to have another human being come in and take it away?
 I would love to see and meet the man who would try….
Women…Always hold yourselves in the highest regard!!

What do you think?

8 comments:

  1. I agree with this post wholeheartedly. I have always been an independent person in every area of my life (thanks mom)! Sometimes a little too independent. As a married woman and mother to two little angels, I would hate for them to date or marry a man who does not show them the respect, love and independence that their father shows me.

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    1. Stacey, welcome and thank you for commenting. Lets continue to embrace independence and respect for all women :)

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  2. I'm glad you brought this up Mari. I don't know much women who would put up with that crap but there are some. This is why is so important to talk our children especially our girls the importance of respecting themselves. Teaching out young women the power if an independent woman standing on their own and not having to rely on a man to make decisions for them. Marriage is a two way street not one way. WE respect each other! not listen to what I say. I remember years ago going out with this guy and dude told me he was going out but I had to stay home, he didn't want me going out without him. Dude was crazy wrong woman he was talking too, of course that didn't last. While he admired be being an independent woman, I was someone he could not control smh

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    1. Camii, hello again. I enjoyed writing this post mostly due to my full awareness on the importance of self respect and self esteem. Women must and should ALWAYS command respect in all areas of their lives and teach their daughters the same. Yes as you said Marriage or any type of relation is a two way street. Thanks for visit chat soon.

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  3. Wow..."won't let me" is kinda harsh, I've said, "I know he won't like it" before doing it - lol. I depends on the relationship, the history of the relationship and of course her upbringing so I won't judge. I hope you are enjoying the weekend.

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    1. Antionette, hi again. Yes "Won't let me" is harsh indeed I was floored. You do have a point, no judgment just an observation. Starting a great conversation is always my goal. Thanks for visit. Chat soon :)

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  4. Found you on Bloggy Moms!! LOVED the post! It's true that some women don't realize how independence is being stripped away in some relationships! I think its up to women who have respectful relationships to help others realize how damaging their relationships can be... I think some women don't realize until it's developing into something more sinister.

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    1. Jo, welcome thanks for visit. Glad you enjoyed my post. Women joining together in great convo is what its all about. Hope we chat again soon :)

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