Sunday, September 22, 2013

Sorry no boys allowed, really?

When I encounter something that I have never experienced I try and am trying to stay open and look at all perspectives.  Parenting is a tricky journey and some of the things that I have come across in my 18 years on this road have caused me to pause or just plain laugh out loud. I realize that age and upbringing have a lot to do with the way some of us choose to parent. This being said, I have a story to share.

I was invited to a friend of a friend daughter’s 11th birthday party a few days ago. It was held at one of those Fun zone type places. Everything was set up beautifully and we had a great time. So what is the problem right? Well the “problem” I found was that her whole class was invited, minus the boys.
The following day when I spoke with my friend I asked “Why were there no boys at yesterday’s party?” She replied that the parents didn't feel comfortable with the boys around.
Really? Don’t the boys already go to school with them? Don’t they spend at least 8 hours together a day? Don’t they have lunch and recess together?

I found the split to be silly. I saw no reason for it. We don’t live in a single sex society. We engage daily with the opposite sex. At 11 years old our children should know what proper behavior is. We as parents need to teach and reinforce, then see how things go. Not use separation as a means to “try” and solve a problem that may not even exist. I was confused as to what year this was. I mean my mom was a bit of a pain when it came to boys but even she was “Modern” to some degree for her time.

Do you think that child felt sad some of her classmates could not attend? Do you think she will have many friends if her parents continue to split her party’s up or any other activities? Do you think she felt embarrassed?
What would have been do you think, a better way to approach perhaps the uneasy feeling of your preteen daughter having a party? Should there have been uneasy feelings to begin with?

10 comments:

  1. Ok are you serious? In this day and age. Kids spend less time with their parents than they spend with their friends. Unless they going to an all boy or all girl school. How can a parent trust a child 8 hours out of their site but can't trust to invite them to a house party where parents are visible. Makes no sense to me smh. My daughter has soccer 6 days a week, goes to HS from 7 to 2:30 and she's 14 but has been doing that since she was 7, give me a break, do they know what year it is? What technology is out there? Makes no sense. To me that only gives the kids more reason to do all the things they are not supposed to do. How can you try to police them at home when your not with them when they go to school. I'm sorry but I think that's....... ok you fill in the blanks lol

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    1. Camii, yes this was serious lol and I did fill in the blanks in my mind.

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  2. My 13 yr old son has had a best friend (who happens to be a girl) since third grade. They always attend one another's birthdays, It's never been an issue.

    On the other side of that, I have two daughters, 17 and almost 16. They, too, have friends of the opposite gender. At least, they think they do. And then after a few weeks or a few months, the inevitably starts asking them out. Where my girls think they are "just friends", the boys seem to believe otherwise.
    So it makes me think that at some point, things may change. I don't know.
    But I agree with you, it's not something to worry about with 11 yr olds. They are just kids!
    BTW.....WHO invites the entire class to a party? Holy cow. We have a limit of 6 invites. :)

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    1. V thanks for visit and yes tons of kids around ALL girls!!!. Appreciate the visit and comment. Hope to chat with you again soon :)

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  3. Interesting but when my sons were younger they didn't want girls at their parties, and we also didn't invite the entire class minus the girls...

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    1. Antionette, thanks for visit. Yeah I know kids go through phases to funny. Yes well I say whole class but of course without the boys you get half the size lol. Regardless over 15 or 16 girls plus adults was totally to much.

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  4. That's just silly, unless it was the kid's request. There may be reasons that we don't know but I just don't see the point.

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    1. Yes, true who knows parents reasoning. Thanks for comments and visit :)

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  5. Hmmmmm that's an interesting scenario. I admit that I've done the gender segregation parties back when my kids were in regular school. Not so much because I wanted to exclude anyone, but because my budget only allowed so many children and if we included children of one sex the numbers would be appropriate and hopefully there would have been better understanding. I didn't want Girl A and Girl B to be invited but not Girl C with no explanation. My daughter didn't have any close boy friends at the time and all of her must have guests were there so I don't think she minded. As for being parents being uncomfortable with boys present... well ummmmm I don't quite 'get' that, but perhaps it's because I'm the mom of an 11 year old boy.

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  6. Mystika thanks for comments and visit. Appreciate your share on how you dealt with similar situation.

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