Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Should I throw only Same Sex Birthday parties for my children?

Hello my lovelies, you already know my shares come from experience or observation.
While on my grandma duties a few days ago one of her old home attendants came to pay her a visit which she loved.
As they chatted it up I went about my biz, folding laundry, sorting mail etc. something made me stop and eaves drop on the conversation, something the home attend said.
Back ground she is very very "old school", meaning no sex before marriage, one boyfriend and marriage type. So she commented that her son was turning fifteen and she was going to have a house party for him with a few friends. No problem right, wrong she said no girls could come because you know what could happen.

At which point Mari (me lol) walks out the room and says "oh but doesn't he go to school with girls?"
Of course the answer was yes but her rational was anything can happen in an apartment. Geez I couldn't walk away fast enough because of course my almost ninety-two year old grandma agreed. I felt like I was trapped in the stone age. It made me recall an old post I wrote which I am including here.
Tell me what you think.


Repost:

When I encounter something that I have never experienced I try and am trying to stay open and look at all perspectives.  Parenting is a tricky journey and some of the things that I have come across in my 18 years on this road have caused me to pause or just plain laugh out loud. I realize that age and upbringing have a lot to do with the way some of us choose to parent. This being said, I have a story to share.

I was invited to a friend of a friend daughter’s 11th birthday party a few days ago. It was held at one of those Fun zone type places. Everything was set up beautifully and we had a great time. So what is the problem right? Well the “problem” I found was that her whole class was invited, minus the boys.
The following day when I spoke with my friend I asked “Why were there no boys at yesterday’s party?” She replied that the parents didn't feel comfortable with the boys around.
Really? Don’t the boys already go to school with them? Don’t they spend at least 8 hours together a day? Don’t they have lunch and recess together?

I found the split to be silly. I saw no reason for it. We don’t live in a single sex society. We engage daily with the opposite sex. At 11 years old our children should know what proper behavior is. We as parents need to teach and reinforce, then see how things go. Not use separation as a means to “try” and solve a problem that may not even exist. I was confused as to what year this was. I mean my mom was a bit of a pain when it came to boys but even she was “Modern” to some degree for her time.

Do you think that child felt sad some of her classmates could not attend? Do you think she will have many friends if her parents continue to split her parties up or any other activities? Do you think she felt embarrassed?
Was there a reason to feel uneasy in the first place?

Ok so two stories almost two years apart, same idea do these parents have valid reason for such extreme or is that totally outdated? Is there a better way to handle this and what would they be?
Start a conversation.

Always stress free xo.

13 comments:

  1. Hmmm, not a situation I've encountered yet but then my little girl is only five. She did have a big party this year and we invited all her class and both boys and girls got along. I think the more a parent tries to stop a child experiencing something the child may rebel more, after all, there's nothing more enticing than a mystery!

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    1. Hey Rebecca thanks for visit and comments. I agree stopping a child's experience with just regular life activities only feeds rebellion more.

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  2. Well I have two daughters both went to mixed schools and both had male friends that are allowed to attend parties so I find it odd too to split them up after school. then again my best friend growing up was a boy. Thanks for linking up to Pin Worthy Wednesday, I have pinned your post to the Pin Worthy Wednesday Pinterest Board.

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  3. Amber, thanks for comments and visit. I didn't even think of that ever myself until I heard it and then experienced first had. It was odd for me indeed.

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  4. Only inviting half the class because that is all you can afford is one thing, but not because you think they will "do something". Aren't you planning on being around to supervise? But I draw the line at co-ed sleepovers. No matter if you are all just friends, that just goes a little to far for me as a parent.

    Saw this on Pin Worthy Wednesday

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    1. Audrey welcome and thanks for visit. I didn't even think of cost being a reason but interesting thought. Co-Ed sleepovers have only happened in the most recent years rules were set and followed so we were fine. Hope you stop by again soon, have great weekend.

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  5. Great post. Pinned and tweeted. We love to party with you, so I hope to see you tonight at 7 pm.. Have an amazing day! Lou Lou Girls

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    1. Kimberly thanks and see you there :)!

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  6. I just noticed that I was featured on here. Thank you so much. :-) I didn't even know. You guys rock!

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  7. Oops, The last post went under the wrong spot, but did lead me to seeing this. As you know my daughter is still only 3, but when she is older I do not think I will exclude boys from her party. Not having the opposite sex at a party is not going to stop something from happening. All that I can do is equip my daughter with the knowledge about sex & hope & pray that she does not rush into something because all her friends are doing it or because she thinks she is "in love". You will not be able to keep them away from the opposite sex. At least at a birthday party, there is supervision.

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    1. Thanks for visit and comments glad you stumbled over here lol. Seperation is not a productive answer for sure. Mai bday party shares look forward to that:)

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  8. Children learn how to socialize by interacting with each other in social events in numbers. When it is all boys or all girls at a party you deny this to that child. They need to start the interaction early rather than at 18. Also, when they have friends that are boys and are classmates, not to have the boys their is denying that child interaction with their class mate and sometimes best friend.

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    1. Betty thanks for stopping by beautifully put :)!

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