Another great comment that popped out at me from my themindfulnesssummit. I am just so glad I joined this summit in October. It was a comment that came out of Arianna Huffington's mouth. I am not gaining any perks by dropping names or links I just found the info to be awesome and very encouraging something that could be implemented in our daily lives.
At a time where most shares are breaking people down and have useless value I am always energized by inspiring words. Some people are very quick to knock down the mere thought of self help books, classes or videos but I say the more options I have the better and sometimes talking to a friend just isn't good enough. Most times it is actually listening to ourselves that will save us.
illustration by friendburst.com
I've gotten much better at this over the years but in the past I use to shove my inner voice to the side and for that I apologize. I knew she was right but the imaginary lawyer in me wanted to prove her wrong.
Facts are facts and no amount of words or sugar coating can change that. Here is a share about me.
Fact...I ask a lot of questions sometimes or perhaps not a lot of questions just questions that make others uncomfortable. My intent isn't to cause tension my intent is to clarify and come to a conclusion.
I haven't learned my lesson yet on how to allow others to talk and I just listen and if I'm uncomfortable I have to deal with it not them. Sometimes I find that I know it isn't the right moment to speak but I do anyway in hopes of a different outcome. That is the definition of crazy....doing the same thing expecting a different result.
It's like an out of body experience you are present in the moment, you are listening and fully aware that you just shouldn't say anything that you should just be quiet and listen but before you know it your mouth is open and the verbal diarrhea has begun. For me its been something I have dealt with for many years. As I have gotten older and through my practice of Meditation and Mindfulness I have come to accept it as a character flaw and am working on ways to better myself.
illustraion by medimanage.com
This is where listening to my inner voice has become a priority and hearing it mentioned in a speech hit home. Because if I don't begin to correct this now, when then? What line do I have to cross before I check myself? And this is not just about me not minding my words at times but it can be said about any one of us who find ourselves in situations where we are not listening to our inner voice and could even be putting ourselves in harms way both mentally or physically.
Our inner voice is there to protect us, its the stop sign, its the red flag its the siren getting closer and closer and louder and louder. Listen to it!
Even when the things it is saying are negative and we feel hurt by them it is still there to stop us, to slow us down and force us to have a conversation with ourselves. I have started to use the following tools to check myself:
-take 3 deep breaths
-take a break(don't rush into anything)
-excuse yourself(remove yourself then revisit)
-make a list(mental or on paper of pros & cons)
-role play(put yourself in other person's shoes or in scenario you are considering)
-listen as if your life depended on it (something I read somewhere) because someday that may be the case
illustration by whereisbjfromm.blogspot
So now that you know I have poor listening skills aside from the tools I am starting to use what else can you share with me to make me a better Listener? Help me fire this imaginary lawyer.
Always stress free xo