Sunday, July 24, 2016

Co-Sleeping, Yes or No?

Hey everyone, I am revisiting this post I did some time ago because I heard a disturbing story on the radio last week that touched on kids sleeping with their parent(s), specifically what age is too old for them to climb into bed with you.

I originally posted this back in 2013!
I ran into this article today and it peaked my interest with a topic I've thought about for a while.This article in the Stir about Co-Sleeping (click for the link) speaks on parents, especially mothers, sleeping with their babies. Ms. Velez gives us a breakdown of the pros of this arrangement. In reading this article, I was brought back to the following;

I was having a casual conversation the other day with some mommies and one of them bought up that her spouse was mad at her because their three year old climbed into bed a few nights before and she let her stay and that its been happening every night ever since.

illustration by get-your-baby-to-sleep.com


I listened carefully then asked her how helpful did she believe she was really being to her little girl’s bed time issues and to her connection with her spouse. She looked at me in surprise. I proceeded to suggest and explain that I see no good ever in children sleeping in their parent’s bed. Regardless of the issue, especially, at the age of three. If the child feels scared or is ill I suggest you go into their space and soothe them by expressing how things will be fine and so on. Your bedroom is your private space with your mate. It should never become a “family” room. There is a difference between let’s gather and watch a movie and let me sleep with my parents. Parents should set boundaries; it will benefit them in the long run.

illustration by pinterest

This is me today!
The story I heard a few days ago on the radio referenced to an eleven year old boy who's parents had recently divorced and apparently he was having issues sleeping. He would go into his mother's room and climb into bed with her and she was totally cool with it. Many listeners said absolutely no way, a few said perhaps she was missing her x and the son was filling the empty space and a few said it was ok until they both got use to their new lives. My perspective is, he is eleven. If he is feeling sad, lonely, anxious etc...have him come into your room that is ok but make it like a sleep over and put down some blankets etc so he can sleep on the floor or sleeping bag. 

Sure some of us watch television or talk and hang out with our older kids in our beds but to sleep with them after a certain age I think is way too much. I would even go as far as giving them my bed and I'll sleep on the blankets and/or sleeping bag if sense of security is what you need. 

What do you think? Is Co-Sleeping something you would do in your home? What is an appropriate age for your child(ren) to still sleep with you? Does your response change whether you are single or married? Please share your thoughts.

Always stress free xo,
Mari

12 comments:

  1. I have co-slept with both of my kids :) I think as long as you are still intimate with your spouse that it's fine. You just have to be more inventive than the bed! My kids have both grown up fine and my husband and I have been married 10 years. I believe that whatever works for your family is best for you :)

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    1. Ann, I love the be more inventive part! Keep going strong and thanks for your visit.

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  2. I co-slept with my kids and did it with my youngest now 18 months old. She moved to her own room when she was about 4 months old but now she's older and in a toddler bed I find her in my bed almost every morning. Don't know why but we don't mind. I know she'll grow up and be fine. I'm a big supporter of co-sleeping but would never tell anyone that they were wrong for not doing it. Whatever works for you!

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    1. Yes, as you said. It is always best in the end to do what works for you. That is the amazing thing about parenting with so many options available these days :).
      Thanks for share!

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  3. For us, we tend to agree with you! We have our daughter's crib still in our room and it is starting to cause privacy issues for us with our 12 month old. We are just still hesitant to move her because she will be on another floor!

    http://growingpainsbykellydavis.blogspot.com/

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    1. Kelly thanks for visit, maybe we can get creative and "put up" a bed sheet wall of sorts for those "grown up" moments? Something you can easily bring back down :) It could be like playtime for adults fun fun fun. Hope to see you here again:)

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  4. Before I became a parent, I said I would never ever co-sleep. Then my daughter was born and things changed. While we do not co-sleep on a nightly basis, there have been occasions when she wasn't feeling well, or was teething, or when we were simply sleeping away from home when we have brought her into bed with us just to get some sleep ourselves! Having a king size bed certainly helps...more space for everyone. My daughter is small, only 14 months old, and I don't know if this is something we will always do. But I do know that I will provide comfort to my child however and whenever she may need it. If that means sharing my bed for one night, I will do it. What works for one family may not work for another though. And that's OK.

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    1. Emily welcome and thanks for sharing your comments. Your absolutely right, parenting and caring for our kids is not one size fits all. We must choose what best fits our families and not get caught up in how others run their homes. Thanks for stopping by hope to chat again soon :)

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  5. I agree, after a certain age children should sleep in their own beds. As a parent, I know children do become frighten at times, but at age 11 he shouldn't be sleeping with mommy. Thanks for sharing on Sunday's Best Linkup.

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    1. Rhonda thanks for having me over at Sunday's Best appreciate the love :)

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  6. This is a really touchy issue because there's serious pros and cons to allowing the kiddies to sleep in the bed with you. On one hand it could be a crutch on the other a comfort. A nightmare or loud thunderstorms seems to always bring (in my experience) the kiddos running to jump in the big warm bed and they usually stay for awhile or a least until they fall back asleep and I'm carrying them back to their bed,I get that scenario. However, the notion of my kids sleeping in my bed on a regular basis is an absolute NO WAY, especially with a partner or significant other. (Never know when that "mood" will hit) not to mention children need a space of their own and a bedroom or bed of one's own has a lot of personal boundary space that a child should learn to develop, it's very important. Thanks for dusting this one off and revisiting it, it's a great conversation starter,thank you.

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    1. Hey John thanks for stopping by. Great comments I agree with a balance for sure everyone needs their space :)

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