Wednesday, November 9, 2016

When the Outcome is Not what you Expected

illustration by

When I went to bed last night my hopes were that love, kindness, respect and value would conquer the belief of superiority. I woke up this morning to the harsh reality that that is just not so. That I live in a place that would rather cut their nose to spite their face. 
Now I am not well versed in Politics but I see that that really doesn't matter either what matters is greed, intimidation, manipulation and holding on to old ways of thinking. What I am well versed in is being a HUMAN BEING, a WOMEN and a MOTHER.

My family didn't immigrate to this country because they didn't Love their country, they left because living conditions for them were poor and they wanted a "better" life for their loved ones. Most immigrants will say the same. It is not lack of love for their own it is for progress because progress doesn't exist where they are. To treat anyone looking for a better life or looking for shelter from danger like trash is not "God like". I've never read anywhere about "God" building walls.

To blame a religion for evil would then mean all religions are evil because the end game is to convert people to one belief, that which that individual is presenting. But again, aren't we all children of "God"?

My spiritual being is at a loss, more than 60% of Caucasian non educated Women (because that was label that was given) felt it best to have any man be a Leader but at best a man who degrades women verbally and physically and laughs on national television about it. A man who will never view you as his equal no matter what he says and a man who feels entitled to treat you as less than because in the end that is exactly what he are less than. 

illustration by

As a women and as a mother how do you justify making that choice? How do you tell your daughter that it's acceptable for a man to call you names and to touch you because "he can"? That it is part of life if you want to advance at work to let your Boss speak to and treat you any way he wishes? As a mother how can you teach your daughter to love and respect herself and others when you stand behind someone who clearly doesn't?

Humanity, this is why my heart aches today why I cried holding my daughter this morning. Not because of some leaked emails, not because of outrageous fees paid in speaking engagements, not because of shady deals and secrets not because someone doesn't pay their taxes and laughs at us because "we just aren't smart enough" to get away with it, not because a reality star has made a joke out of becoming a leader of a nation, not because the circus I have been witness to for so long now was exhausting but because this circus show peeled away the layers that nothing really has changed in The United States of America and that building on the backs of those deemed less than is still the way to go and no one needs to be ashamed of it. That not all lives matter and the sooner we all accept it the better and that "making America" great again won't apply to all.

I am heart broken because I live in a nation that loves to benefit from others, that lies about embracing all. I am heart broken because knowing our HISTORY we in ignorance continue to repeat it. We continue to promote and support DIVISION we continue to endorse exclusivity. 

My heart will heal just as many wounds from those that came before me have healed but I will not forget just like they haven't forgotten. I will not become bitter, spread bitterness or hold on to a defeated mind state. I will as I always have turn this harsh awareness into a lesson. I will continue to raise my daughter in light. I will continue to teach her the value of Human life no matter what their views and I will continue to teach her to demand respect from those around her that may feel it isn't required because of her race or gender. I will continue to raise my daughter to be kind and respectful to all human beings. When the Outcome is Not what you Expected, don't lay down in defeat rise up and try another way to make it better.

Start a conversation, read a book, ask questions, open your mind.

Always stress free xo,


  1. Yes a very sad time. I am really upset that so many people in this country still, after all we have been through, harbor such hatred and bigotry that they turn to such an unqualified and inappropriate man to run this country. the next four years are going to set us back a century and we didn't have to let this happen. Not sure I can get over this and, like you, it won't be forgotten.

    1. Jovina I think at this point we just have to keep hope alive and keep love in our hearts xo

  2. This such a deep piece Mari, I can't find enough words to comfort or ease our collective shock and pain however being an African American in the US has taught me to always expect the unfair and unjust whomever is behind the dark curtain of ignorance and hatred will soon one day be revealed,until then I pray for us all.

    1. Hey John, I agree prayers are a must at this time. Holding on to belief that things will turn out for the better. Appreciate your visit :)


I believe in freedom of speech but not at the expense of others. Please don’t confuse that with bashing, use of foul language or total disrespect of others.

Feel free to comment, post, share your own experience and ask questions all in a respectful manner. I welcome debates. Feel free to disagree and express it if you so wish but again always with respect to others. I am sure we can find ways to express our opinions without a shouting match or bullying.

I reserve the right to delete any content left on my blog that I deem not respectful to myself or others. Again we all have freedom of expression but this is my blog. By posting a comment on my blog you grant me the right to use, display, publish, reproduce, transmit and distribute your comment in any manner is see fit in the future i.e. books, video or presentation.

My goal is to host a caring, honest and respectful environment. A place where parents can have an interesting exchange with one another.