When the Outcome is Not what you Expected

illustration by somebloodyweird.com

When I went to bed last night my hopes were that love, kindness, respect and value would conquer the belief of superiority. I woke up this morning to the harsh reality that that is just not so. That I live in a place that would rather cut their nose to spite their face. 

Now I am not well versed in Politics but I see that that really doesn't matter either what matters is greed, intimidation, manipulation and holding on to old ways of thinking. What I am well versed in is being a HUMAN BEING, a WOMEN and a MOTHER.

My family didn't immigrate to this country because they didn't Love their country, they left because living conditions for them were poor and they wanted a "better" life for their loved ones. Most immigrants will say the same. It is not lack of love for their own it is for progress because progress doesn't exist where they are. To treat anyone looking for a better life or looking for shelter from danger like trash is not "God like". I've never read anywhere about "God" building walls.

To blame a religion for evil would then mean all religions are evil because the end game is to convert people to one belief, that which that individual is presenting. But again, aren't we all children of "God"?

My spiritual being is at a loss, more than 60% of Caucasian non educated Women (because that was label that was given) felt it best to have any man be a Leader but at best a man who degrades women verbally and physically and laughs on national television about it. A man who will never view you as his equal no matter what he says and a man who feels entitled to treat you as less than because in the end that is exactly what he feels...you are less than. 

illustration by twitter.com

As a women and as a mother how do you justify making that choice? How do you tell your daughter that it's acceptable for a man to call you names and to touch you because "he can"? That it is part of life if you want to advance at work to let your Boss speak to and treat you any way he wishes? As a mother how can you teach your daughter to love and respect herself and others when you stand behind someone who clearly doesn't?

Humanity, this is why my heart aches today why I cried holding my daughter this morning. Not because of some leaked emails, not because of outrageous fees paid in speaking engagements, not because of shady deals and secrets not because someone doesn't pay their taxes and laughs at us because "we just aren't smart enough" to get away with it, not because a reality star has made a joke out of becoming a leader of a nation, not because the circus I have been witness to for so long now was exhausting but because this circus show peeled away the layers that nothing really has changed in The United States of America and that building on the backs of those deemed less than is still the way to go and no one needs to be ashamed of it. That not all lives matter and the sooner we all accept it the better and that "making America" great again won't apply to all.

I am heart broken because I live in a nation that loves to benefit from others, that lies about embracing all. I am heart broken because knowing our HISTORY we in ignorance continue to repeat it. We continue to promote and support DIVISION we continue to endorse exclusivity. 

My heart will heal just as many wounds from those that came before me have healed but I will not forget just like they haven't forgotten. I will not become bitter, spread bitterness or hold on to a defeated mind state. I will as I always have turn this harsh awareness into a lesson. I will continue to raise my daughter in light. I will continue to teach her the value of Human life no matter what their views and I will continue to teach her to demand respect from those around her that may feel it isn't required because of her race or gender. I will continue to raise my daughter to be kind and respectful to all human beings. When the Outcome is Not what you Expected, don't lay down in defeat rise up and try another way to make it better.

Start a conversation, read a book, ask questions, open your mind.

Always stress free xo,

Mari

Life Saver Tude Changer

Funny how just a small adjustment or change can make a world of difference. Though at the time it is taking place it doesn't seem so small at all.

You hear it all the time...baby steps. Take it one day at a time and make small changes and you will see how grand they will be in the end.

That about describes the last three (3) years of my life and even more so the last two (2).

These numbers mean a great deal for me because they remind me to be grateful and to always remember how far I have come.

Ok enough of the melodrama, but seriously this was the only way to start off this post.

Today I will speak on how Meditation and Yoga saved my life. How adding these practices to my daily journey helped me grow physically and spiritually.

I use to be extremely opinionated, extremely impatient, extremely independent, extreme period.

My passion for anything I did lead me to be a bit too controlling. 

My independence actually build walls instead of opening up doors.

I would never describe myself as horrible to be around nor have I ever heard myself be described that way but I have heard the word difficult.

I have experienced a variety of losses in these last three (3) years different types of deaths I would call them. I know death is such a harsh word and even sad to most but let's think about it in the sense of flowers.

We receive or buy a lovely bouquet of flowers and already we have killed them to some degree because we in a sense cut them off from their roots. We admire them, care for them, they bring us joy, they make us smile then shortly they begin to wither, die and we must throw them away.

That has been my journey.

I will start with Meditation. It helped me to slow down. To look into myself and to be comfortable in my space, my skin and in the moment. It helped me learn to respect time and to breathe. It taught me to like being alone and not to think it meant being lonely. It helped me learn how to listen.

It allowed me to grow in ways that I had never envisioned for myself. I learned to think outside the box, to stop saying and start doing, to be fearless and to cut ties with things and people that were not growing along with me.

It taught me to accept that sometimes people just don't value you as you should be valued and that it is ok to walk away and still love them. That nothing lasts forever so cherish the present. To live in the moment and be ok with just being still.

It added to my passion for all things fun. Investing time with my daughter became even more joyous, reading a book was filled with feeling the journey, eating my food was like traveling to a new place. All my senses were heightened.

I cried on my first sitting and it only lasted five (5) minutes, I focused on the word Hope.

I hoped it would help me find peace at a time I felt great loss and disappointment and it did!

Today I sit for twenty (20) to thirty (30) minutes at a time and its amazing. It is my time and nothing else matters.

Some ask me how can I sit still and not have my mind wonder, I say it isn't always easy and that it's ok to wonder but to remember to bring yourself back to why you sat there in the first place.

Now Yoga. This was my go to because I extremely dislike exercise, I don't like going to gym's and I don't really like the idea of sweating out my hair.

I found a class in a community center close to where I live two (2) years ago and haven't stopped going since. 

It has taught me to respect my body, what I put into it, what I do with it and how to care for it.

It has taught me the importance of honoring what it tells me. If you feel pain it's for a reason look into it don't ignore what it's telling you.

I have learned that I am stronger, we all are stronger than we think. That our bodies are capable of doing amazing things, that as a woman and a mother my body is truly a gift. A life came through me how awesome is that!!

I have learned what it is and what it means to be deeply committed to something or someone. What it means to follow through with changes that will pay off in the long wrong. What it means to change our perspective on life, earth and our planet.

I have learned that winning is not one is right and the other is wrong but that together respectfully you can find a solution that works for all.

Now all that being said I am still a work in progress, we all are. I still have days if you cut me off as I am driving I say a few things in my car with window rolled up of course lol. I have just changed some of the words I say.

I still need to gain more patience and I still need to learn to listen longer and not try to cut into conversation with my own thoughts BUT I am sooooooo not where I was before that I am grateful and I am mindful of this blessed journey.

I believe in a higher power whatever that may be. I don't disrespect anyone's road to that peaceful place. For me it is a spiritual journey, we are all connected, everything is connected. Go out and find your way your peace.

I am including some links in case you may be interested in trying something new, different and free!!

As always stress free living is a must.

doyogawithme.com

myyogaonline.com

youtube.com

youtube.com

youtube.com