Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Damn Baby!

I woke up this morning knowing exactly what I was going to wear to work.

As I got dressed I was singing in my head "I woke up like this!", thank you Beyonce.

For over a week now I have been hearing discussions, watching news segments, posts on the internet and on my Twitter a story about a women who spent numerous hours in New York City recording men "harassing her" or "cat calling".
This is my take on the matter...

First I will and want to be clear that I don't condone vulgar behavior or crossing boundaries. As long as you do not invade my personal space we are good, if you cross it we have a problem.
With that being said...
Cat call me all you want.

Women let's be real honest. When we dress in the morning, when we go to the Salon, when we go shopping, when we do anything who besides ourselves first (or so I hope) are we doing it for? Are we really doing it for other women as some studies suggest, or are we doing it to attract the attention of the opposite sex?
I know when I do and have done any of the above I am thinking of myself first and then about either my partner at the time or of the opposite sex.

Yes I want to be looked at as attractive, who doesn't? Yes a compliment here and there is welcomed, why not?
I am not a prude and I don't live under a rock and I will never wear a bag over my body so that no one sees me.
So if I walk down the block and a man wants to comment so be it. I may even smile and say thank you no big deal.

Now let's put things in perspective. She was walking around NYC. Do men behave this way in other places? Am I going to walk down a street in Colorado and get the same results? Am I going to go to Sweden and deal with that behavior? Will I visit Paris and on my midday stroll pass a Cafe and have several men comment to me?
I say that perhaps in all these other places I may not get it as much but I still may come across it. Why is NYC so different? Well lets see.
For one its full of diversity all sorts of people live and come here, we have large clusters of construction going on at all times which allows for large groups of men to gather all at once, we are very vocal here we have no problem saying whats on our minds, its city life anything can happen, I can go on and on.

I had an issue with her editing tactics too. Do you mean to tell me that White men don't cat call? That only Minority men have something to say to women? Is she really trying to paint this as a "race" thing?
I have lived in NYC all my life, I began to hear comments from males by the age of 13 and I am here to say that no one specific race has targeted me. I have heard it all and from a large variety of men and White men did not stay behind.

I am well aware that one day those comments will stop all together. That one day I will walk down the street and hear nothing but the birds chirping. When that day comes I will welcome it because my beauty and attractiveness is not and has not been defined by a man's standards. Women should focus more on being comfortable with themselves and not on the reaction of others. I really am not sure still what that female wanted me to get out of her "day's adventure".

I also want to be clear that I am not saying this is a way of life "deal with it". What I am saying is that the energy and importance we place on it is important. Saying we should ban, arrest, ticket etc...these behaviors is ridiculous. I mean what will be next? How many behaviors do we want to police? Music choice, clothes choice who I want to date (oh wait that already happens smh)?

I will never want to blame women for the treatment they receive from others but I will always say that people treat and do to you what you allow them to. If someones approach to you is poor then it is up to you to point them in the right direction. You don't have to be nasty but you do have to be clear.

I will close my post with the following:

I got 4 comments from my apartment door to my office door this morning. I smiled at 3 and just kept walking on the 4th. No harm no foul. Ladies life is short, don't be so serious. Keep it moving and keep looking good for you first then others!
Look in the mirror and say "Damn Baby!" to yourself.
Be inspired to always feel and think "I woke up like This!".
Think about a Peacock and its beautiful feathers.


What do you think? If a male comments to you while walking down the street is that harassment? Do only certain men partake in this behavior? Do women ask for it by the way they dress? What is the big deal?

Here's link
Cat calling...a race thing?

Always stress free xo

6 comments:

  1. Your perspective is tight on. I remember thinking when the story hit the press, Lady don''t you have anything better to do?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jovina, thanks for visit. I am still wondering the point myself. She just put something out there totally one sided and no resolutions.

      Delete
  2. 2 words... love.it. And a comment... ain't it the truth?! I love for my husband to "cat call" me, and any extras just verify that he's not doing it just because he loves me! Ignore what offends and keep it moving...quickly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nikki I hear that, thanks for visit xo

      Delete
  3. I tend to agree with you. As long as the man doesn't touch me or keep me from removing myself from the situation, I don't feel harassed when men compliment me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Megan thanks for visit! Appreciate your thoughts on topic, it's all about perspective :)

      Delete

I believe in freedom of speech but not at the expense of others. Please don’t confuse that with bashing, use of foul language or total disrespect of others.

Feel free to comment, post, share your own experience and ask questions all in a respectful manner. I welcome debates. Feel free to disagree and express it if you so wish but again always with respect to others. I am sure we can find ways to express our opinions without a shouting match or bullying.

I reserve the right to delete any content left on my blog that I deem not respectful to myself or others. Again we all have freedom of expression but this is my blog. By posting a comment on my blog you grant me the right to use, display, publish, reproduce, transmit and distribute your comment in any manner is see fit in the future i.e. books, video or presentation.

My goal is to host a caring, honest and respectful environment. A place where parents can have an interesting exchange with one another.