When I thought about this subject, I was asking myself what Type of mother I was and have been in the sense of parenting style.
With so many labels to chose from, which one did I fall under?
illustration by cartoonstock.com
-hovering / over involved
-tiger / strict rules, heavy discipline
-drama / creator of drama and chaos
-snowplow / remove any obstacle in your child's way
-martyr / anything for my children, no sacrifice to big or small even at my own expense
-free range / little rules or discipline
-attached / emotional bonding and support most important
illustration by cartoonstock.com
First I want to point out that no matter how many articles we read, no matter what we may feel or want to say the template we chose to use for parenting is an individual choice.
So I reached into my mommy vault and found that:
-I only read 1 year of Parenting Magazine & American Baby.
-I had no issue leaving my daughter at 3 or 4 months old with a friend so I could go to Great Adventures but I did have an issue seeing her getting her baby shots so I would stand by the door or look away while holding her hand while nurse gave her her shots each and every time.
-I rarely ever allowed my daughter to sleep with me.
-I never helped my daughter with her homework but I did help with projects and even did one for her so she could go away for a summer vacation.
-I stopped picking out her clothes many years ago but I still tuck her in at night.
-I didn't teach her how to ride a bike but I taught her there was no such thing as a boy or a girl's toy.
-I didn't help her pull her teeth but the Tooth Fairy was always good to her.
-I didn't buy her makeup kits as a child but I did get her building blocks so she could expand her imagination.
-I didn't teach her how to cook but I taught her how to balance a check book and about credit cards.
-I didn't tell her she was a Princess but I taught her she was One of a kind and that her middle name was a reflection of such.
-Our house rules were simple but you wouldn't want to test the waters and break them.
-I didn't drive her to Ballet, but I taught her how to appreciate all kinds of music.
-I was present at every show or event she ever took part of, but I stopped going to Parent / Teacher conferences in 6th grade and only went to the 1st Parent/ Teacher in H.S.
-I didn't help her pick her H.S. but I taught her how to take the train so she could get there.
-I know all about her friends and their activities, but I've never monitored her texts, her phone or looked through her belongings.
-I didn't push the veggies when she was younger, but I packed her school lunch everyday and included cute notes or a treat.
illustration by cartoonstock.com
So in compiling this list and in reviewing my memories I realized that the style I used, that the Type of Mom I am is simply Erica's mom. That's my parenting style.
I took what I learned from my mother, saved the core values threw the rest out the window and went the opposite direction. I added lots of talking, sprinkled in picking my battles, layered it with I'm your mother first and sealed it with lots of love.
This is my template.
illustration by cartoonstock.com
What things make up yours? Do you have your own unique template or does your parenting style fall under one of the labels above?
What are your thoughts on parenting labels anyway?
Check out this link psychology.about.com
Always stress free xo.
Great post, thanks for this, so interesting to think about it! I never heard of all these labels until I became a parent myself. I think right now I'm more of what's known as an attached parent. I do know that as they get older, I want them to learn to be independent but I'll always be there to support them and want to stay emotionally connected with them.
ReplyDeleteBernadyn, thanks for visit and comment. I think as long as all things have balance we can do great things. Our babies need us for sure but it is awesome to see them go and do things on there own! Nice to see you here again hope to chat again soon :)
DeleteThanks Jovina! :)
ReplyDeleteThis post was really nice to read!! I think if I was to label myself I would be mostly attached and to be honest, with a little bit of snow plow sprinkled in. I know I shouldn't remove all obstacles in his way and I do my best not to, but it's so hard to see him fall. I am lucky to have my hubby there to balance me out when it comes to raising our son, he knows its best to allow him to learn on his own at times. Thanks for the post, have a great week!!
ReplyDeleteKim thank you for stopping by and commenting. I can understand the difficulty for sure, my daughter will be 20 in April and I still have tough moments of stepping back when she feels disappointed but I know I can't go around fixing blocks on her road. This is her journey I was only required to guide her in the right direction :). Thanks for share, hope to chat again soon.
DeleteLove this post! When I read the choices in the beginning, I couldn't really fit myself into one. I agree that we're each unique in our mothering. We might lean one way in certain situations and another way in other situations. In the end, we all try to do the best we can and act in love! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting and visit. Leaning on each at any given moment sounds great too. It allows for a good balance thanks for that share. Hope to see you hear again soon :)
DeleteWhat a beautiful post. I love this. I'm still in early parenting days so I don't yet know what my choices will be in some of these scenarios - but like that I'll get to make these choices with my family and my girls.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you are a great mom - Louise
Louise thanks for stopping by and commenting. Your days will be filled with lots of choices which is a blessing because options help us grow. I think the true testament to a good or great parent is the wonderful things you hear others say about your children, I have been blessed to hear many these past almist 20 years so I think I did pretty good lol, thanks and hope we chat again soon :)
DeleteLove it! As soon as I read the title I actually said out loud "TYPE?! Really??" Love the way you closed - "I am... Erica's mom". I have 4 children and though they are alike in many ways, each of them is totally different. Our family dynamics is truly an exercise in adaptation & a true testament that there is no 1 size fits all parenting "style". Or that parenting can or should be compartmentalized. We find and do what works... we love, we teach, we guide, they GROW.
ReplyDeleteNikki, hey thanks for visit and comments. Glad I grabbed your attention. I think your comment is great about one size fits all parenting! Hope to see you here soon xo
DeleteI can be variety of the above it sometimes depends upon the day! LOL Thanks for sharing great post!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by. I can totally get the depending on the day rule lol:)
DeleteGreat post! You hear so much about all the different parenting styles out there, but I never feel like I fit completely into any of those labels. I do what feels right for us, and that's that. In some cases I'm more "free range" in others more "attachment", and in others...who knows?! I think when it comes down to it, so long as you're doing what works for your family and your child is loved, everything else is just minor details.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing with us at #MommyMeetupMondays!
Brandyn thanks for stopping by, thanks for commenting. I agree as parents we have to find the best fit for us and our children. As a family unit you just want your kids to be well rounded in the end. Love MMMondays!
DeleteGreat post. I read none of the books. I am pretty dumb and thought if gave them some water, some food, some sun and a lot of love then things would be ok. And they did.
ReplyDeletePatrick, welcome back nice to see you here again thanks for visit and comment. Sounds like a nice recipe indeed :)
DeleteI love the cartoons, Mari!! Thanks for the laugh. It sounds like you are an awesome mommy. I'm definitely the "hovering/ over involved" type but I'm working on changing that :). My daughter turns 21 this month and has turned out pretty fantastic so I know I did something right. It's really cool to see our kids as adults and the changing relationship that comes with that. It's a big sigh of relief, although bittersweet at times!
ReplyDeleteCandace, thanks for visit and comments. Time does go by quickly doesn't it.
DeleteAlways a wonderful gift when we can sit back and look at our babies and smile with such pride!
Hello cute lady! I’m loving it. Pinned and tweeted. Thank you so much for partying with us. I hope to see you tonight at 7 pm. We love to party with you! Happy Monday! Lou Lou Girls
ReplyDeleteHey Kimberly thanks for dropping by!
DeleteHi Mari,
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you addressed the question:What Type of Mom are you? Thank you so much for sharing the your witty, honest and eye-opening post with us
at the Healthy, Happy, Green and Natural Party Blog Hop. I'm pinning and sharing!
Deborah, hey again. Thanks for dropping by thanks for having me over. Chat soon.
DeleteMy sons are almost grown, but I remember being a hovering mom and still have some regrets about doing that! #TurnitupTuesday
ReplyDeleteAntionette, thanks for dropping in. You have two males in College so something went right :) a little hovering paid off after all lol.
Delete