Sunday, February 15, 2015

Dating through the Eyes of the Young

I hope everyone enjoyed their Valentine's Day. I had a great day showing myself love by practicing my Yoga then heading to the Salon for a hair date but not before being surprised by an unexpected Breakfast date earlier in my day. Surprises are always fun especially if the company is great.
I am looking forward to larger gifts to follow wink wink.

Anyway this lead me to the following...I never thought that at this stage in my life I would be dating let alone dating at the same time my daughter was. When we enter relationships we never plan for endings but sometimes they do happen.
When I talk with friends or with my daughter I love the different comments I hear in regards to what they think "dating" is.

I have written in the past about my experiences with my own mother, I am going to share a bit of it here again then update to my journey today.
This is what I shared before...
What is Dating?
That seems like a simple enough question…but sometimes as a parent it can be a question that turns your world upside down; or so you think.

Growing up my mother was “old school” no boyfriend till it was serious, which to her meant close to marriage age. Unrealistic to say the least, I mean all I wanted was to go to the movies or hang out in the park or a museum. Who was thinking of marriage at age 13 or even 15? Some of my friends on the other hand their moms were fine with them having boyfriends at 15 or 16 years old. Since I didn't have those options, I did things behind my mother’s back. I would stay after school late and say I was working on school projects, or at the library. I would say I was at a friend’s house but instead be at the park or at the movies. Harmless fun and small fibs but still deceitful none the less.

Since my mother was so ridiculous in her ways I of course chose to go the opposite direction.


I raised my daughter always knowing it was just as fine to have male friends as it was having females. She was aware that it was normal to like boys or girls as she got older and that if by age 13 she thought she liked someone that it was fine but she was not going to be allowed to go places alone or to get hung up on labels. She could go out as friends in a group to the movies, park etc.

Now I was not naive to think that at that age they may not be exploring just as we did in our time. I was just straight forward with my expectations and she knew it.

By the time my daughter was in H.S. she had several boys interested in her at different times. I just reinforced what I taught her years before. Enjoy the company, respect yourself and easy on the labels. The more you teach, the more you gain trust, the more they share.

Dating has different levels and degrees. Trust and believe all children do not have the same definition of dating so allow your children to guide you in their mindset by asking questions and being open.
Remember you were once that age too!!!

So today I say I enjoy the dating scene in a whole new light and I love when my daughter shares her own experiences. I find it interesting to listen to her perspective and to know that though we both are in the "dating scene" our reasons and our goals are very different at the moment. Oh the laughs we have!

What are your thoughts? Have you set the dating rules yet? Are you a single parent and dating yourself? Do you think there is a difference in views about dating depending on the age group?

Always stress free xo.

13 comments:

  1. My two oldest are just getting to the ages 14 and 15 where some friends have boyfriends and girlfriends. Neither of them seem to be in any big hurry to date which is fine with me. I am much more worried about my 11 yo getting to that age. She has a different personality! #manicmondays

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    1. Crystal thanks for stopping by. Worried about the younger one so soon lol it always amazes me the differently personalities among siblings for sure. Well best of luck and hope you come visit again soon :)

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  2. My mom ran things like you did! Open line of communication. I love it.

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    1. Thanks for stopping by I am pleasantly surprised to hear about the parents that took this route. It truly is stress free indeed. Hope you come visit again :)

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  3. I think being open with your children is key. I agree with you, it is important to be respectful of your children and their thoughts on matters such as these, while laying out your guidelines and opinions. My daughter is still a toddler, so we haven't set forth definite rules, but my partner and I agree that we don't want her doing things behind our back and that we want to empower her to make smart choices. I think you are spot on in the way you handle your daughter's dating!

    Thank you for sharing with us at #MommyMeetupMondays!

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    1. Brandyn thanks for visit and comments. Laying out guidlines as you pointed out is key for sure. We don't want to get caught off guard with no answers or at least an idea lol. Thanks for having me over at MMM :)

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  4. My daughter is only 7 so I haven't had to think about all this yet but I think your approach is reasonable and probably close to what I will adopt. I am dating myself and try to keep it away from my daughter until something gets serious.

    Stopping by from the Manic Monday linkup.

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    1. Selena, thank you for visit and comments. I wish us both luck in the dating scene :) end of day all we want as mothers is healthy happy children and some one to share that road with :). Loving Manic Monday thanks for having me over!

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  5. What a unique and wonderful situation you are in, dating at the same time as your daughter, sounds like you have a great approach! My twin girls are only 2.8 months old but it's never too early to think about dating, Aaah! :)

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  6. Joy that was funny lol. Thanks for visit and comments. Unique for sure! I am keeping an easy going approach to this whole new adventure once again and just enjoying the journey as a whole. For sure if anything it will make for interesting future posts :)

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  7. Awesome post. Pinned and tweeted. Thank you for taking the time to party with us. We hope to see you tonight at 7 pm. It wouldn't be a party without you! Lou Lou Girls

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  8. I think it's so funny watching my brother "date". He can't drive yet and it seems he goes from first/second date to girlfriend at lightning speed but such is the life of a teen, I guess. Thanks so much for sharing at Talented Tuesday!

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  9. Meaghan thanks for visit. Yeah the dating journey can carry loads of laughs indeed :)

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