So let's see so many things going on in the news that I want to chat about I had to make a list to keep me focused. Open discussions and dialogue are my favorite things but sometimes emotions, even mine can get in the way of growth and learning.
Today I want to chat about our Maine neighbors and the "Diner drama". So many things have been said and written I see both sides and they both have merit. This is my take...
No one has the right to just yell at another person's child BUT when what is going on with Your child invades My space then the rules change.
illustration by kirsa-journey.blogspot.com
From the Diner Owner's side:
-she offered options
-has right to provide quality service for ALL customers
-has right to take matters into her own hands in her establishment for the greater good
-has right to an opinion and to comment
-does not have the right to yell at a customer...period
-doesn't have to deal with crying kids for lengthy amount of time
From the Parent's side:
-have the right to take their child anywhere they wish
-have the right to respectful and courteous service
-have the right to raise their child as they wish
-should have taken child outside earlier
-should be more mindful of their child's needs
To summarize my thoughts from the information I have gathered...
As a mother I would never wait around for over 30 minutes to be served anywhere especially with a small child and then another 40 minutes for service? That is insane and irresponsible, especially for food if your child is hungry or if you (parent) didn't even bring things to keep your child busy. They are not like us they get fussy and impatient, heck I am an adult and can't sit around too long waiting for my food when I am hungry.
The mom claimed the diner was noisy? Hello! it's a Diner, people gather around table talking and laughing having fun while eating their food. It is not a restaurant setting where the volume tends to be less animated. If your child can't deal with large crowds and noise it is your responsibility as the parent to know where you can take your child so they feel comfortable. No one knows my child better than me and if my choices cause an issue and my poor judgment brings about discomfort to other's then I am totally to blame and I should own up to my part of the responsibility.
illustration by canstockphoto.com
As a mother whenever my daughter would start to show signs of uncomfortableness and I saw a crying session coming I would wet a napkin with warm water pass it round her face excuse myself and take her outside. Why would I want to cause a scene? Why should anyone have to deal with my crying child? I don't want to deal with any one's crying child and I shouldn't have too. I would definitely give you a look or possibly even walk over and see what we can do.
That the Diner owner was out of line with the yelling is a given. That was disrespectful in general I don't care about the age. People being upset about the fact it was a child is sort of silly in general as if kids get a free pass. Discipline your kids period and someone else won't feel the need to do it for you. Handle your biz and no one else will have to step into your space. Everyone doesn't have a filter that is why you are responsible for your child in public places at all times. That the language she used may not be how we would have handled matters? ok I get that, poor judgement period.
In over 20 years of parenting I too have found myself on both sides of that diner drama. Not necessarily exactly like that but in parks with bully kids or kids just running crazy period. Parents on the phone or reading while their kid grabbed my kid's toys, parent bringing kid to a birthday party doing them and not paying attention to their child's behavior. Going into a grocery store and having to deal with running kids in the aisles. So many stories so many ways to handle a situation. I have definitely raised my voice to another person's child and I wouldn't have an issue if vice verse as long as you are mindful of your words and don't touch my child. No one sets out wanting to discipline another person's children but if you aren't around to do it or if you neglect to do it properly in someone else's space again...it is bound to happen.
illustration by 123rf.com
I think the lesson we should all take away the bigger picture per say is we as parents must make better choices when taking our kids out to eat in public places. We must be better prepared to tend to their needs and we must take proper actions to keep all party's involved as comfortable as possible.
They are our responsibility, it is up to us to take care of them properly. No business is responsible to make your child comfortable. Good service safe environment yes period.
To the diner owner...I am not mad at you but I do think perhaps in the future you may want to be more mindful of your words. Your language is not one that resolves matters but instead instigates more negativity. I think your energy would be best served invested in matter that opens communication, understanding, respect and resolution end of the day if it was another person with a different personality I am sure things would have ended very differently. I know for me they would have.
What do you think? Is it solely the responsibility of a parent to control their child in public places? As a business owner am I responsible for keeping your child calm and cooperative during their stay? Would you say something to someone else's child? Does it depend on circumstances or just never?
Please share your thoughts.
Always stress free xo.