I guess it would serve everyone well if they would sit and reflect more often on their lives choices and begin to act less hastily.
Moments of regret. What do you regret the most in your life, up until this point?
Wow loaded question but for some reason as I watch her getting dressed and we are chatting away, that was the question that came to mind. I see my little girl all grown up and I wonder if at some point some how I have failed her?
I can say that I have a few regrets in my life's journey. Things I could have done differently that would have altered certain results. But then I stop and rethink that because I feel any tweaking of the choices I've made in the past might have affected my approach to parenting and this is one place I feel very little if any regrets.
illustration by leo0816.blogspot
The very fact that my little mama is yapping away on the subject matter that is the topic at the moment says I did pretty good. Here she is running around talking with me about Fashion week in NYC, the shows and latest trends and the business side of all the choices made in the presentations, how she's going to revamp my closet with some great new Fall pieces. Seriously, I couldn't care less about Fashion week and she knows it yet we have built such a respectful, loving connection that she knows I am listening and supportive of her shares. I didn't have to barge into her room, into her space she actually came and barged in on me lol.
Moments of regret as a parent...lets see
-I didn't let her climb into bed with me when she was little and afraid of the dark....nah instead I walked her back to her room, turned on a night light and taught her how to sooth herself.
-I didn't let her have a My Space page when all her friends had one...nah instead I invested time showing other ways to socialize
-I didn't reward her good grades with money...nah instead I taught her that earning those good grades was the reward.
-I didn't take her to a Disney movie premier after she behaved poorly even though I had already gotten us the tickets...nah I suffered the loss and she learned that actions have consequences.
- I didn't pull her teeth out as a youngster...nah her doing it herself taught her pride and that her mother is very squeamish.
-I didn't help her much with home...nah I instead just sat near by and did my own things as I supported from a distance and suggested other ways she could build better study habits.
-I didn't get upset and berate the system when she didn't get into the first college of her choice...nah I instead gave her a big hug, said better things were ahead told her these were all part of life's lessons we don't always get what we want (she ended up going to her current school where she now says was the best thing to happen to her).
illustration by happyviews.com
You see? I wasn't and I am not here to make her life's ride easy. I am here to help her learn the tools to allow her to make her own ride easy. We can't always pick them up when they fall. We can't always make things better, we can't always make every right choice. Sometimes we mess up. Sometimes we drop the ball but as long as what we are doing is our best how can you have a regret?
Things in life beat all of us up rich or poor, male or female so why invest our energy on long periods of self abuse? Why not instead use it to further teach our children that we all have things to deal with, even their own mom and dad?
-a billion hugs and kisses
-a trillion I love yous
-countless bedtime stories
-amazing just mommy and me dates
-loads of laughter while watching movies together
-infinite memories of joy, security and love
That is Parenting with No Regrets.
illustraion by pinterest.com
What do you think? Have you ever graded your parenting journey thus far? Are you days filled with more "I wish I had" thoughts than "I am glad I did"? Share your views and moments of achievements or regret.
Always stress free xo