Ladies and my gents ( I know I have a few of you that drop by too) have you heard of something called a "Free Pass"? It's when you give your partner the ok to engage in relations outside of your committed relationship. Whether it's the woman or the man be it one time, numerous times, one day or several days. Let's sit on this for a minute.
illustration by hubpages.com
Ok now that you have a clear mental picture, what do you think about that? Would it be something you might consider in your relationship? Would you have set rules or would that be a deal breaker?
Here's my perspective. Any confident, self loving, totally self caring responsible adult would not engage in such arrangement and here's why.
If your interested in a sexual connection with someone other than your committed partner than you shouldn't be committed to begin with. You should be single and free to engage in sex with whom ever you wish without having to get " permission" from anyone. Again I said adult.
Why do people feel they have to be in committed relationships? Why do people feel they have to follow what "society" has dictated in regards to connections?
Monogamy is not for everyone and it shouldn't be pushed as the norm. No one should feel they have to follow guidelines that just aren't made for them.
Committing to just one person, engaging in sex with just one person doesn't work for all. Many factors come into play:
illustration by nickandzuzu.com
I'm a firm believer in honesty up front. I'm gonna tell you what I'm interested in, what I'm looking for and if you agree great we can move forward and if you don't then great I'll keep moving because I don't want to waste my time.
As a single woman who is confident in her sexuality, clarity is very important and I have learned that certain things just come with time and experience and getting to know yourself.
Men and women are looking a different things, sometimes at different times when they get together. We women automatically assume that when a man says he loves us and commits to us in his own way that that is it. But sometimes it just isn't and the same could be said about some women. Something I have invested many chats on with my daughter. Our discussions have been mutually eye opening, young people today are more aware than we give them credit for.
So let's get back to the committed part. If you decided to get with me and build with me why would I turn around later and say it's ok for you to step outside of our connection? What are we lacking that you would feel that is something you need to do? And if we are lacking something how is you stepping outside of "us" going to help our union?
Giving your partner a "Free Pass" isn't going to bring you any closer, I don't care how many times it may be said otherwise. At some point someone's feelings are going to come into play.
illustration by pinterest.com
My perspective is simple...when your single anything goes when you link up rules change. Be clear and follow through. Don't drop labels just because, saying you are committed should not be taken lightly so discuss what committed means to you before hand.
Now let's chat and share. Tell me what you think about "Free Pass" and if you have experienced this please let me know how it turned out. What did you learn, what do you think you can learn if you went this route?
Always stress free xo