When Love is Just around the Corner

I am always happy to chat about Love and Relationships guess it's because regardless of my experiences I believe in romance and remain abundantly optimistic. When a group of people gather together so many views come to play because of their own experiences. You hear so many opinions about Finding Love.
-you have to be open to it
-your time will come
-your expectations are too high
-you're sending out mixed signals
-you're not looking in the right places
-God has other plans for you

Which one can you relate to and which one did you totally roll your eyes at?

If I know one thing and that's for sure is nothing is guaranteed. You can follow all the rules, prepare all you want and pray all you want but nothing you do will rush the process of Finding Love.

illustration by pinterest.com

I stepped out my door and there you were smiling that beautiful smile.
We said Good Morning and kept walking to our individual destinations.
Every so often our paths would cross again and that smile would continue to appear.
Months later late one afternoon our paths crossed again and finally you gathered up the nerve to ask for my name. I don't know whose smile was wider but as I said my name your eyes lit up like a star in the sky. I asked what was your name and I was surprised at its simplicity yet as you said it all I felt was strength. Again we walked to our individual destinations.

Soon came several other moments of casual interactions and always that same smile appeared. Then as quickly as it began it ended. No more crossing paths in the morning or late afternoons. You were gone, a work trip you said. Couldn't wait to get out of the city. All I thought was what will happen now? Wasn't this as interesting for you as it has been for me?

Some time passed and I had given up hope of running into you again.
One Sunny morning on my way to work I turned the corner and there you were!
That smile was still there accompanied by such warmth and a pleasant sense of connection. You walked me to my car and we exchanged numbers. “Let's keep in touch” we said. But how many times have you said that line and really meant it? Not even an hour had past before you had called.

illustration by jarofquotes

Small talk that grew longer and longer with each conversation and each revelation about our lives. Several similarities but also many differences.
Every exchange seemed effortless like we had known each other for a very long time
Conversations that have only grown with time and aided in Finding Love just around the corner.

What do you think the ending of this story will be? Does it sound like how you met your significant other? Is it how you hope you will find love? Is it real or is it fantasy? Share your thoughts on “Finding Love.”

Always stress free xo,
Mari

Is there room for a But when we say I Love you?

One Holiday down and one more to go. Happy Sunday my dolls how did we survive the Turkey dinner and out of town guests? Was it pleasant and peaceful or did it bring up old wounds? Family gatherings can be a mixed bowl for sure.

I had a great no fuss no muse time, everyone chipped in and cooked something, lots of laughs and awesome company. A variety of topics were touched throughout the night but one in particular seemed to be the theme amongst the "older" peeps. Relationships. I love this topic of course because there are just so many views. No one is right or wrong it is just about perspective and the place you are currently in life.

Sweetheart that dress looks great on you but I think you would look better in this dress.

Has that ever happened to you? Your significant other "loves" your choice but "suggests" something else? I use to take that as a slight on my choice or to myself personally. It wasn't until I matured and learned to engage better in relationships that I realized it wasn't a reflection specifically on or about me at all but instead just a preference.

Now objects are certainly different than traits or behavior and one must always keep that in mind when dealing with the phrase "I love you as you are" because if we don't then we can find ourselves in conflict. Where am I going with? Well let me explain.

illustration by yourtango

As a mom I love my daughter regardless but it would be a lie to say that if her behavior was poor, disrespectful and perhaps even dangerous I could say without hesitation I Love you as you are. Surely I would love her none the less but I would take measures to correct those things that were distasteful. Same is to be said for a partner.

Of course when we first fall in love little things don't seem to matter and we just brush them off. As you continue to build though there comes a time when a check list should be made.
-Can I live with this?
-Can I tolerate that?
-Will she change this?
-Will he stop doing that?

From my pasts relationships I've learned a few things one being that the outside is easy to fix, adjust or even change but its the inside that is complicated. My daughter's father was great at compromises when it came to semi insignificant things but when it came to life decisions, maturity and responsibility we were on two totally different pages. We swore we loved each other but as the years passed certain behaviors never changed. That I Love you just the way you are became harder and harder to work with.

In my second relationship all those past issues were non factors, no need to even think about those things that once caused me such disappointment. This time around the frame was much stronger and the commonalities were much more visible. A few minor adjustments here and there but the I Love you as you are seemed to be in full effect until it wasn't. Again the outside is easier to fix than the inside.

illustration by askteekay

I am a believer of Romance and Love. I know there is someone out there for everyone. I am not a believer of Fairytales. The notion of Loving someone as they are with no exceptions from my perspective is unrealistic and perhaps even a burden to all parties involved.

So is there room for a But when you say I love you? Should we accept that our future husband or life partner is short tempered when deprived of sleep? Should it become the norm that your wife won't allow your friends over the house? Will it be acceptable that your partner speaks loudly on his phone conversations in the street? Will you not have a problem with the house being kept in certain order?

Whatever the issues may be big or small clarity is a must. This doesn't just pertain to intimate relationships. If you have a friend whose behavior changes after a second drink, do you not make a comment? If your Girlfriend is too quick to hand out her number, do you not pull her aside and say something? If your son always breaks his promises, do you continue to let him not be a man of his word?

illustration by ariherstandbandcamp

Compromises... yes totally for it! I Love you as you are But... yes can totally understand and work with, I Love you as you are PERIOD...my perspective is I don't believe in it.
I love Billy Joel! Do you love Billy Joel? His career is full of great lyrics and songs but one of my favorites since I was about five years old is "Just the Way You Are". The lyrics suggest that he will accept you just as you are PERIOD. Imagine how wonderful that must have sounded to five year old Mari and to twelve year old Mari but to twenty something year old Mari? Nahhhhh. Ok let me perhaps rethink this again?

What do you think? Am I just jaded in my experiences? Have you found someone that you love just as they are? Does someone love you just as you are? Is I Love you as you are But a legitimate thing?

The romantic in me wants to share my fav Billy Joel song, enjoy!

Always stress free xo,

Mari

A Thanksgiving of Reflection

Hey! I didn't want this day to go by without me connecting with you and sharing some thoughts. I just walked in from grandma duties and last minute grocery shopping for the "big food day" tomorrow. Traffic was crazy and the stores were a mess but its the same every year nothing really changes or does it?

Grandmas doing well, right now all the stars have aligned and my routine has no hiccups. Our talk today was sweet which has become more of the norm. For those new to my blog I care for my 93 year old grandmother how has Alzheimers. As she held my hand and we sat and talked she asked me several times how many children did I have. Each and every time I said one and she laughed. She said "You have only one child why, what happened?" I said that nothing happened but life. That I worked and as time passed my family just didn't grow. She laughed at my answer and shook her head and told the home attendant that was crazy. Her disease allows these moments to pass by so quickly which allows me not sit in the moment like if it was a regular conversation with a regular person.

As she looked at a picture of her mother who passed away when she was perhaps in her mid thirties to early forties she sigh and let a dry cry out. Those where you make the sound but no visible tears are in your eyes she asked me "Did you ever meet my mother, she is dead now, I miss her so much." I responded with "No I never met her but yes I know she is gone now." She then held my hand tighter and asked "How about your mother, is she dead or is she alive?" My mother is her daughter but she doesn't remember that and yes she is still alive but we don't speak.

things I keep on my fridge to maintain my focus

I don't share the details but I tell her that yes my mother is alive. She seems to brighten up and says "How lucky are you to have her alive, I hope you two are close and you take care of each other." I drop my head and take a deep breath. I hold her hand and say "I take care of you and that is whats important." I may be "lucky" that my mother is alive but we aren't close and we don't take care of each other. My mother has Emphysema and the last time I saw her was perhaps three years ago when I went to visit her in the hospital.

Something happened to my mom after her marriage to my two younger sister's father ended after seventeen years together. I guess her broken heart never fully healed and life just became something you go through not something you take part in. The mom I knew and loved slowly faded away. Little by little the talks and visits became less and the arguments and disagreements became more. That trickled onto my relationships with my sisters as well. Tell one argument became so ugly we didn't speak for about four years. Then one day I reached out to my sisters and we got together for dinner but that was a roller coaster ride of the same issues and emotions.

I tried to connect as best I could but I had to walk away again and that lasted for some time until I tried again and that trickled into my second relationship and didn't end well and I had to walk away again. Then my sisters called to say my mother was in the hospital. I remember the conversation as if it were yesterday. I'm in my office and my boss says I have a call from my sister Christina, I said that can't be and he said but it is. I answer the phone and she says "Hello Mari, sorry to bother you but I thought you should know that mom is in the hospital. She isn't doing so great. I wasn't going to call you but thought out of respect that you are her oldest daughter you should know. She is in blah blah hospital if you want to come see her."

illustration by pinterest

Ok now what caught your attention most from that convo? Was it the "sorry to bother you or the thought you should know or the I wasn't going to call you but...?" For me it was all the above and beyond. I just sat in my chair looking around my office in disbelief. As instincts dictate I grab the info and go to my boss and let him know the situation and proceed to leave to go see my mother. On the drive there I'm talking to myself saying how I can't believe these are the circumstances that are leading me to see them again. I get to the hospital and get a semi loving welcome and a "sorry to put you out of your way" comment again.

I visited my mother every day she was in there and my daughter too. It was heartbreaking to see my child sit through all the uncomfortableness that was clearly surrounding us. Yes the conversations were pleasant but we were treated more like strangers than family. As her eldest daughter that should not be what I was feeling. I remained in contact for about two weeks after she left to hospital. I tried all I could to help and when nothing seemed to work I wrote my sisters an email that as of right now still hasn't been answered. A week after I sent the email, I walked away. Here we are three years later.

I share this today in reflection of what Thanksgiving is suppose to mean and what it really means to me. I am not preparing my guest room for family and I am not on a flight to any specific destination. I am home preparing to share a special meal with my daughter and our friend. I am at my destination I am with my family. I am exactly where I need to be and where saving myself has bought me. You see loving people especially your family sometimes just isn't enough. And when it isn't enough and you have exhausted every means you have to save yourself.

illustration by pinterest

A Thanksgiving of Reflection of being grateful for how far I have come and how much I have healed. Of how I have channeled that love that isn't reciprocated into giving my time and attention to my volunteer projects. On not focusing on what isn't and my never be but instead continuing to send them love and investing my energy on who and what is in front of me and build on that. Not bitterness but love that drives me not hate but empathy and compassion is what I strive for.

As you sit with those you love and share a meal remember to express your gratitude loudly! Don't think that they know you love them, tell them. If you feel you need to try again and make amends do it! Thanksgiving is not just about the food and lavish settings and rushing to go shopping. Thanksgiving is truly about those who have added to your life and blessed you with love.

I am grateful for you all that come visit with me and read what I have to say. I am grateful for the opportunity to connect with if not just one of you that may be feeling unheard or like you are the only one who is going through or has gone through whatever it is that I have shared. I am grateful for the love of my beautiful daughter, my sunshine my everything. She is the reason I do all I do. I am grateful for the authentic friendships I have built and continue to build. I am grateful for just life. Everyday is beautiful, every day we have a choice. Choose to live your best life. And to my mother, thank you for giving me Life.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family!

Always stress free xo,
Mari

The Importance of Honesty in any Relationship

Hey loves sorry my visit is a bit late today but had long day and just sat down to gather my thoughts. The circus is over it's been a week, reality is settling in but I keep thinking about deflection. I keep thinking what is the Importance of Honesty in any relationship?

Questions get asked we get lots and lots of words tons of accusations but no clear answers. Most of the time I find myself feeling like I've just gotten off a hamster wheel, "what was the question again?  I forgot oh yeah but what was the answer?"
Intelligence would dictate that we are being taken for fools but ego keeps us stuck and like puppets we continue to just go along.

Same goes for most relationships where things are clear from the start but we chose to see otherwise.

If we handled our relationships the same way we handle let's say, the details of buying a new car or planning our life long dream vacation we would be experts at cutting out what is not necessary. We would pay more attention to the details, we would be more in tuned with our hearts desire. But instead our eyes get clouded by the package. The wrapping is nice, the box is huge clearly what's inside must be awesome! Everything is shiny it's what everyone is scrambling for and you have it. Why would anyone see a problem?

Ok then so let's start paying attention to the details. How many deep conversations have you had? What has been revealed since your first hello? Did anything turn you off immediately, did you have a follow up question when it happened? Do the conversations flow or are there constant stop signs? Are you tense or are you loving? Do you feel empathy, are you really listening? When you walked away what did you remember?

So many questions I know. We, especially women have been told for so long "don't ask so many questions" but why not? I'm not talking about conducting an interview but to some degree we are. How will I know what I like or don't like? How will I make decisions I can live with if I don't ask the questions and not just questions but the right questions because yes there are right and wrong questions. Cutting out what is not necessary.

-I don't need to know exactly what it is you do right off the bat, I need to know how long you have been doing it. That establishes reliability and commitment. If you can't be still in a job how can you be still in a relationship?
-What is your fondest memory? If it entails going to the club then you already know two things. Maturity and Value. The lack of maturity will become an issue long term and giving value to people and meaningful moments in life hasn't been given enough thought to.
-What was the best thing your mother ever said to you? Response will let you know if any mommy issues. Same applies if you switch to dad.
-What does your best day look like? Establishes if person is superficial or down to earth.
-Last book read? Willingness to continue to learn and grow
-What's your x year plan? It could be from 1-3. It allows you to gauge if this person is a semi planner or just fly by the seat of their pants. If they can be both then awesome. If too rigid one way or the other CAUTION.

These are some good conversation suggestions that could easily cut out what is not necessary. Time is valuable. No one wants to be around that person who just talks and has no substance.

illustration by pinterest.com

I have been told that it is never appropriate to mention the x or x's on the first date but I say depending on the subject matter why not? I don't mean a whole history lesson but a brief comment can totally let you know what baggage might be still lingering around.
Just a thought...what do you think?

So how honest should you be in any Relationship from the start? What questions would you or do you ask of a potential mate? Even a potential friend? Do you oppose certain questions or open to all depending on how it is presented? Share your thoughts.

Always stress free xo,

Mari

When Good Intentions are Not so Good

Hey dolls seems like we haven't chatted in a long time let me bring you up to date.
First Mommywood turned 3 in August and I don't know where the time has gone. I really am grateful to have a place to share my Life Experiences and perhaps help one person see there is another way. Second I just had a Birth Day the lovely 45 came around and I am soooooo loving it! Nothing like being in a good place in your life where all you are is grateful and see so many possibilities. Living mindfully will help you achieve that and just plain ole living, making mistakes and getting right back up.

Which brings me to the only damper I had on my Birth Day month. A meeting with a friend that turned into a sour event but I walked away with huge clarity none the less.
I don't want to get into a play by play and I don't want to sit in that experience for too long but I will share some highlights said friend feels the following...

• My priorities are wrong
• I am not enough of a Go Getter
• I am basically settling in Life
• I am filled with excuses
• I'll be in the same spot 5 years from now at rate I am going
• I am not aiming high enough
• I am not doing everything possible to be a Success

illustration by pinterest.com

Now to be fair I will say I am dealing with an extremely driven man. One I have known since we were 19 years old. One that I share things in my life with as most friends do. One who has overcome adversity and risen to the occasion and with that I say good for YOU.

Agreed that there are things I set out to do in my life that I have fallen short on. Agreed that there are just certain sacrifices I am just not willing to make and Agreed that we do have some things in common when it comes to how we grew up but we have had different life experiences and you can't judge people for those experiences. You can't paint with one broad brush how you will handle the things that come your way. Without getting into too many details I felt extremely judged.

illustration by quotefancy.com

How as my friend can you view where I stand today in life as a total failure? Sure you sprinkled in a few props and btw thanks but how as my friend knowing my history would you choose to speak in a less than emphatic form? Opinion and Advice and Suggestions are awesome but not at the expense of belittling the choices of others. How I feel and felt about our exchange is not his responsibility. Only we can control our emotions but it is important to express them as best we can in a respectful manner so you can get your point across. Perhaps the intent was to inspire by sharing his Life Experiences. Perhaps the intent was to encourage in his own way. I ended our conversation by saying "because I love you I will pay very close attention to all you have said." And I did and I have and this is what I came up with.

My measure of success is determined by me. My measure of happiness is determined by me. My measure of worth is determined by me.

illustration by quotefancy.com

• I learned that some people only see you as a success if they can see tangible evidence.
• I learned that for some picking your battles is not trying hard enough 
• I learned that everyone defines success by their own measure.
• I learned that I don't have to prove my success to anyone 

I was saddened I am saddened that a friend would view me as "less than" a success and perhaps to some it really isn't a big deal after all we were just two friends talking and he was just commenting on things we had shared in the past which is fine I get it I got it. But regardless of what your friend shares with you present or past kindness should never be spared. Mindfulness should never be an option it should always be a given.

illustration by hippoquotes.com

It takes courage, self love and respect to stand in your truth to shine in your own bright light. So if you find yourself surrounded by those who feel you haven't done enough, achieved enough, explored enough even sacrificed enough don't waiver in the knowledge that you have done enough as long as you are proud of that person who is looking back at you in the mirror. Share your thoughts and experience,

Always stress free xo,

Mari

Getting to the Root of the Problem?

illustration by ngsuyasa.wordpress.com

I really sometimes think I may have missed my calling because boy do I love to ask questions. 

Nothing ever happens just because. Deep down inside there is always a reason its just we as humans find it easier to cover up than to peel away the layers.

Today I want us to chat about short tempers and anxiety.

So I go out the other night with a friend and we meet up with a few more friends. Everyone is having a nice time lots of laughs, great food, nice drinks and cool music until...things begin to get a little uncomfortable. I love to have a good time but I am not one to call unnecessary attention on myself and if you act like a buffoon around me I will most definitely walk away and leave you standing there. Not to leave out that things began to get a little chaotic in our surroundings and I felt it was my cue to go. As most independent women do I am always prepared to pick up and go without having to feel trapped in my surroundings or by the people I am with. So I discreetly lean over and say "I think its time for me to go." My friend on the other hand feels its no big deal they have things covered, we are safe and we should keep lounging as we have. I sit tight for a little longer but then something else catches my eye and I am totally done. I lean in again and say "ok seriously its my time to go."

Said friend sort of reluctantly says ok and we proceed to leave. As we are walking out I ask the question, "What happened to your attitude, one minute your cool the next your defensive and a bit snappy?" I hear things like "I don't like to be questioned. I know what I am doing. I am grown. I have things under control." All the while in my mind I'm going "what on earth?" To be clear the conversation wasn't running smoothly I had to take several deep breaths but as it progressed the root of the problem was revealed.

illustration by smartbear.com

Turns out said friend has issues with authority which causes a short temper which spills into anxiety for all involved. 

How did we get to that conclusion? Because I asked "how did you feel when you heard such and such?" When you ask the right questions you will get a better answer. Such friend felt that I was questioning their judgment therefore questioning their ability to take care of any situation. And because they had already had a long day exhaustion was creeping in and their tolerance was short. This Q&A was so revealing. I suggested that moving forward being tired caused poor attitude which caused a bad mix for socializing. And I also shared my perspective that "One can only control oneself. Everyone has the right to question anything they feel like when it pertains to their person."

Getting to the root of the problem is so healing. Not just in day to day relationships but also as parents. We tend to be so busy at times that when our kids give us short responses like "I was too tired or it really isn't such a big deal or I don't want to talk about it" we shrug things off and let it go. Sometimes it really isn't a big deal but it doesn't hurt to perhaps revisit with a better question. It also doesn't hurt when you really know your kid and can tell from their behavior if something is really up.

illustration by pinterst.com

Back to the beginning...nothing ever happens just because. Ask questions, peel the layers. Sometimes the truth hurts but shortly after the healing can work wonders. Getting to the root of the problem can change your life. 

What do you think? Share your thoughts and experience.

Always stress free xo,

Mari

Talk to Learn not to Win

Happy Sunday!

I got up this morn bright and early excited to go lay out in the sun but the clouds got in my way. I walked back home and as I was walking back from the park I had a thought...
How often do we talk to learn and not to win? What do I mean by that? I mean, how often do we engage in conversations about any topic that may turn serious in which we are willing to learn instead of saying "ok you win"?

Its hard to recall when you have lived a long life all the things that have come out of your mouth but if you know yourself well enough you know the language you are use to using. For me and my journey and my life experiences the words "you win" in a discussion are foreign. Of course when you are passionate about that which you speak of you want others to at least understand if not respect where you are coming from but to feel a sense of winning the question is just what did you win?

illustration by quotesgram.com

When you know better you do better when I was younger I spoke because I wanted to be heard. I had strong opinions and always had to have my say. I became a mother and I was still the same way but then I gradually tweaked it to include a balance with my child. No longer was my view "the view" it was just "a view". No longer was my opinion "the opinion" it was now about let me hear what you have to say so we can work at this "together".

Today my daughter is 21years old and we still talk a lot and about some very serious topics. We both have some very strong views but our love for one another and respect always brings us back to learning. We will never "win" if we are hurting one another. As parents it can be tough for us to see our children grow and have their own sense of self and opinions but that is what we strive for. That is why we put the long hours, late nights and endless energy towards. We want them to grow into healthy productive human beings.

illustration by pinterest

Next time you are caught up in your feelings about a subject matter that you feel strongly about instead of thinking win or lose think learn learn learn and it will blossom into win win win in the long run. Look at the bigger picture.

What are some ways we can practice this?
-slow down and breathe
-look at each other while you speak, it doesn't have to be long but just long enough to acknowledge each other's presence and value
-be aware its a conversation, not a game
-practice being in the other person's shoes
-ask yourself "is this really that important?" at the end of the day
-be mindful of your words, carelessness never is pretty

What are your thoughts? Do you feel you have to "win" everytime you engage in deep conversation about a passionate topic or any topic in general? Do you talk to learn or are you just rushing through? Are you willing to make some changes if you yourself are guilty of this train of thought? Share your experience.

Always stress free xo,
Mari

Fifty Shades of Gray

Today I thought of you and most of the memories were happy ones. All the firsts I had with you, all the plans shared, all the goofy moments, all the inside jokes, even the tears shared when we realized our commonalities about our family history. Happy memories indeed.

Then...then I thought of our differences and just how strong those differences were and just how strong you were in holding on to your beliefs, so strong that you just up and walked away.

Then...then I thought about our last meet, all the things I wanted to say how many times I rehearsed what I thought would help us get back on the road...together. How nervous I was, how my stomach was like a roller coaster, how I stood in front of that mirror looking at my "outfit". How I walked to my car taking deep breaths like the air was about to finish, how I drove on instinct and got there so early I had to park and just let the time pass till our set date. You had allocated just "an hour" because you had other things to do and I was so grateful.

Then...then I thought about when I saw you walk out that building, a building I had stood in front of so many times and then I looked at your face and the person looking back at me was different.

illustration by pixteller.com

Today I thought about you and the moment in which you said "things are either black or white". "You either are one way or the other, its that simple."

But they aren't. You were wrong and it took me learning how to have true empathy to see that.

At the core we set standards, guidelines and expectations but as we flow, learn and grow we can choose to make adjustments to that core. Choose to make adjustments so that our foundation can hold us both as we are growing into our best self. Choose to grow in a continued direction of love and support or choose to grow in distance and unfamiliarity.

Fifty Shades of Gray a wonderful and freeing path to walk on. A path I walk every day and a path I choose to walk on every time I connect with someone new. Every time I speak about my expectations, my guidelines and my standards. 

Today I thought of you, I smiled and I thanked you for putting me on this great path with all these beautiful shades of Gray.

And here's a little gift from me to you The Good news about Feeling Bad

Always stress free xo,

Mari

Do you Believe in Love?

Good Morning! 

This one's for all my single ladies, myself included. 

Something to think about because after all our lives are not just about our babies :)

illustration by pinterest.com

Do you still believe in love and its power? I think that once your hearts been broken or your trust has been shaken your immediate answer is no. What I have learned though is that we must be willing to acknowledge those feelings go through all the stages of mourning in order to get to the other side. Then once you are there you can begin to work on yourself, find clarity and start again. Love is everything. It makes the impossible seem possible somehow. That idea alone can bring about endless possibilities. Love is healing, love is peaceful, love is freeing. Love is power. Yes I still believe in Love.

illustration on ilovepurple645.tumblr.com

What's the best of love that you have experienced? I have to say it is my daughter. Not because as a mom bringing a child into this world is unlike any other thing ever, which it is but my answer is not because of that reason. My answer is because my child was conceived out of a love like I have never known before. That all consuming love, that I can't live without you love, that lust love, that butterflies in your stomach love, that passionate love where you just melt into eachother and that love that carries you through the bad times until you realize that that love is no longer enough. Your first love is a special love and I'm so grateful that from that love came my forever love.

illustration by lovethispic.com

I don't believe we are meant to live our lives without experiencing love. I also don't believe that because you have loved and lost you can't love again and again. Forever is what you make it. I've had two forevers in my life thus far and I wouldn't trade them for anything. I look forward to having another and if the Universe deems it who knows maybe two because there is nothing more beautiful than being open and believing in Love.

So, do you still believe in love and its power? Share your experience.

Always stress free xo,
Mari

The making of a Good Father

Good Morning! Today my calendar says its Father's Day so in going with that flow I want to chat about the following and say...

 Happy Father's Day to all the great dads in the world you are truly appreciated and loved but I especially want to shout out all the fathers who regardless of their circumstances step up to the plate and do their part in parenting. I want to wish you a day of love, peace, health and kindness. I want to acknowledge that as a mother I am proud you have made all the efforts to remain relevant in your child's life. I want to say that not all of us single mother's or women think you are an a**hole. We are not all bitter and reckless with our words and actions when referencing you in connection with our children.

illustration by techuloid.com

I want to acknowledge the little things you do and the small ways you have made a lasting impression on your child(ren). Perhaps just by cutting up their fruits on your lunch date or combing your daughter's hair before you bought her back home. Maybe when you dropped by his after school just to say hello before his mother picked him up or perhaps by going shopping with her for her prom dress. The times you left work early to catch your kids baseball game, the many times you had to listen to unkind words at the front door just to have your child over for the weekend.

We never speak about that father who left the relationship but never left the child.

I know many of them my father was one and my daughter's father is one. They are awesome men. I love them so.

I may not see my father now but I have great memories of him as a child. My parents split shortly after I was born from what I can recall and the stories I have heard but my father never left me. He is in every picture of my many milestones and every summer he would come and get me so I could stay with him for a few weeks. My father helped my mom pay for my Catholic school education, my father took me clothes shopping, my father took me sightseeing in New York City. My father sat right next to my mom and her new husband at my eighth grade graduation. Those memories no one can ever take away. My father was a loving kind man and always loving and respectful towards my mom. I never saw a poor exchange. When I turned 18 and went to live with him my father made me breakfast every morning just before he left for work. My father taught me way back when even though I didn't listen, the importance of choosing our words carefully, of working hard and of respecting all. Hard work and respect I grabbed quickly choosing my words came later but I appreciate all the time he took to teach me those lessons.

illustration by heavy.com

My parents didn't work out as a couple but so what, he was still my father and had my mother not been reasonable enough to co-parent I would have lost out on knowing a whole other side of me.

My daughter had a longer run with her father actually being in a household with her so her memories are vast and run deeper than mine. The times I had to leave for work early and he stayed behind and got her ready. The things father's teach their sons my daughter's father taught her because he saw no difference in gender. Shopping for her first bra he was there, video games and bloody movies he was there, school plays and shows he was there, Tae Kwon Do events he was there helping her carry her trophies. He was there.
When we split up we made it a point to be clear, we are not a couple but we will always be in some sort of way a family unit.

We broke up, they didn't break up. He will always be her father.

How can I invest my energy in bashing or keeping my daughter's father away from her? Why? What is there to gain.

Single mother's from my perspective somehow want to link their emotions and personal history with the father and the child. I am not suggesting there won't be a period of adjustment, a time required for healing and continued growth but I am saying that our children did not ask for this they just want to be loved by both their mom and dad and if he is still around and willing and able to do so then let him.

Don't deprive your child of that connection and love, it will be you in the end who is the bad guy not the other way around. Children remember and will connect the dots. The many times their father showed up and you caused a scene will stay in the back of their minds, the times you said ugly things about their father but his actions showed something else, they will recall.

We are suppose to protect and love our children, want the best for them surround them with love. If their father wants to continue to do those things and more but just not with you along for the ride, be a better person and allow it.

illustration by wishabuddy.com

Help build a better society of men remaining a part of their children's lives. Encourage the visits, the calls, the connection. By us behaving better as mothers, as women, as a single parent we are further cultivating a healthy, loving, gentler, more present male today and for years to come for any child who's parents just didn't work out as a couple, again this isn't about you its about what is best for your child.

Again I point out, don't get it twisted. I am referring to the father who is willing and able. The father who wants to do the right thing but runs into obstacles because of pride and ego.

So let's go out and enjoy this day and let's encourage any time that these two people can be together, the Making of a Good Father can start now.

Share your thoughts or memories of great moments with your dad.

Always stress free xo,
Mari

Life is simple, make better Choices

Good morning I'd like to begin my chat with you today acknowledging the events that took place over the weekend in Florida, again another senseless ending of lives just because someone else isn't happy with theirs. I'm not going to point a finger at one group or one thing or one belief or one anything. I am just going to say that as a parent of a young lady who is often out socializing with her friends and family that no one should be going through this ever!

Every life is precious and holding on to hate just because of differences is not a representation of any God.

Automatic weapons have no place in our neighborhoods. Your house or business, our schools or shopping centers or stadiums don't require that kind of weapon for our protection. We must rethink, review and revise our gun laws. The right to bare arms and protect what is yours can still be upheld but that type of weapon is not the answer. As parents as human beings we must figure out a way to join together and protect everyone's child.

Now, with that being said I want to dive right into this thought because again it is all relevant.

illustration by myquotesclub.com

I am not going to feel any type of way about you feeling I am to blame for your misfortune. Does that make any sense to you? Well let me explain.

Most people function with placing blame. I didn't get that job because the interviewer had it in for me, I didn't get that apartment because they don't want xyz people here, my partner cheated on me because so and so through themselves at them etc etc.
Whether or not any of these examples hold a drop of truth it is what we choose to do shortly after that really matters.

How can you continuously blame an outside source for your troubles and for how long is that "truth" going to help you live your life?

Of course when bad things happen our emotions are all over the place but when we honestly stop and look at ourselves in the mirror we usually can see the answers staring back at us. We are not what happens to us but instead what we do with those events.

illustration by pinterest.com

Your man didn't cheat on you for any other reason than his choice to do so. The apartment perhaps just wasn't for you, the job...maybe you were over qualified. Choose to change your perspective, choose to acknowledge the event and keep moving, choose a better life. When you go out to lunch and had a bad meal do you go back again and order the same dish? No. Choices, we all have them choose wisely.

illustration by pinterest.com

My daughter just resigned from her job not even three months in. She was very excited about this new adventure until the blinders were taken off. Until certain behaviors clashed with her authentic self. We had many long talks over these past few weeks and two of the questions I asked her were "What were you hired for? What is your job?"At first she was offended because she felt I was telling her to just go to work and shut up but what I was picking her brain about really was for her to speak out loud her expectations verses her actual job duties. She was doing too much, she was investing too much emotional energy in a situation that didn't require it. When she realized this she thanked me for the conversation and put in her two weeks. 

illustration by quoteaddicts.com

She calls me after work yesterday to run what had happened at the end of her day by me. Her supervisor had thanked her for the two weeks notice because it really was/is a courtesy on her behalf and said that after her being there for that week they saw no need to waste her time and that she didn't have to return again. My lil mama said "for a second there I felt like I got fired, but I didn't get fired right"? I said "no vieja (I call her old lady in Spanish too) you didn't get fired you had already quit but in their eyes they see no need to risk you perhaps tampering with their stuff or just dealing with the energy and saw it best to just say goodbye." She said "oh ok then, fine." I said "yes, fine go out and celebrate be grateful for the experience and btw if in the future you do ever get fired, its ok to feel what you may feel but don't dwell on it too long it just means you weren't a good fit for what they needed. It is never personal, business is business keep it moving." She said "thanks mama, always great to hear your side" and we hung up.

Choices, is your cup always going to be half empty or are you going to view it with a smile as half full? What are your thoughts? What was a recent let down and what choice did you make? Was someone else to blame or did you decide to focus on your next option? Let's chat.

Always stress free xo,

Mari

The Impact we have on Others

Have you ever been in the middle of something you do often and totally looked at it in a new light, as if you were doing it for the very first time? You stop and take stock and see things in a whole new way?

This happened to me a few nights ago as I sat with my grand mother, baby #2. I'm there a few times a week and the routine is farely the same, the only surprise is her attitude. In what reflective mindset I will find her is a role of the dice but all else is the same.

As I sat next to her and she asked if I had any children for the tenth time I answered again yes one daughter. Of course her response is well I never met her you must bring her with you next time to which I respond ok. As I ask her if she has any children and she says no I begin to point at pictures around the apartment. I tell her she has five children she laughs and says I'm crazy as she says that she takes her finger and pokes my cheek and laughs. Again she says I'm crazy and giggles.

illustration by nataliefranke.com

I say no vieja I'm not and I begin to call out the names and relation and as I'm doing this she reaches out and grabs my hand in hers, starts massaging it and is holding on with a big smile on her face. She does this often sometimes when I walk through the door or just when I'm about to leave but this particular time as I got to my mother's name and telling her our connection it felt very different.

It felt very loving and peaceful almost like she was telling me, thank you for being by my side. Thank you for not leaving me alone. Thank you for the physical love and attention.

The impact we have on others sometimes goes unnoticed. We are in a daily rush a constant count down of time. Moving from one activity to another never just embracing the moment.
Caring for someone who is aware of your efforts is one thing. You can measure the progress in many ways and the memories live on forever but caring for someone who's memories are minute to minute like my grandmother is a huge challenge. Alzheimer's disease forces you to always be creative and be creating something short lasting. The Impact has to be immediate and worth while. The impact has to stop all time.

Next time you call a friend or get together for lunch. Next time you visit your mom or dad or drop the kids off at school...stop and think. How that particular exchange is impacting their lives and if it's one  that leaves an ever lasting smile in their memory.

-be mindful
-be kind
-be loving
-be in the moment

illustration by twitter.com

What do you think? Are you aware of the impact you have on your loved ones? How about strangers, do they walk away with a smile or a frown? Do you make the effort to truly connect when you engage with others? If you don't why not try it today?

Always stress free xo,
Mari

I Got Your Back

illustration by quotefancy.com

One of my pet peeves is empty words.

Those people say at the moment to make you feel good or to speed the conversation along just because they really don't want to invest more of their time. I say if you can't stand by what you say then don't say it at all because when the day comes I may come to collect the last thing I need is to be disappointed.

I've been having an amazing eye opening, totally inspiring last few days. Took part in a Webinar that totally blew my mind and set a new fire under my butt and had a great pow wow with an artist friend of mine last night. We got together after work started yapping and before we knew it it was past 10pm. A lot of laughs and great stuff was shared.

One of the things we both agree on is surrounding ourselves with like minded people. We hear that phrase from time to time but I think people misunderstand it. At least people who are not open to day to day growth and life changes. When I say I need to surround myself with like minded people I don't mean that I only want people that will agree with all of my ideals and opinions and choices. I mean I need to surround myself with people who like myself see glass half full, who like to see their dreams come to life, who smile and are grateful even when something they tried has failed.

I need to surround myself with Optimistic people not Drama seekers or those who attract Doom.

illustration by pinterest.com

The recurring theme in my last few days has been my own experience with empty words. 

I started blogging and returned to my photography both at the same time. I jumped in with both feet at a moment in my life when I had to start many things from scratch...again. A relationship I thought was for sure "the one" ended, I walked away from old friends and family who for years had sucked so much out of me I just couldn't do it any longer and I had to put into practice an abundance of kindness on myself.

During this time my phone contacts had only those I deemed true friends and people who I respected and was interested in building my next journey with. I sat down drafted a mass text included the links to my two new endeavors and pressed send...silence.

I must say it's been pretty much the same almost three years later with an exception here and there. My take away from this has been the follow:

-All creative souls want to be appreciated. Anything anyone creates from their ideas and builds up in their minds and comes to life is a gift given from their hearts. It takes courage to share something you love knowing not everyone will love it in the same way or even at all. It takes dedication and strength to keep going on even when you have heard that what you love is a waste of time. Appreciate the efforts in all even that which you do not understand. Be open.

-Silent Support is no support at all. I had a few friends who "said" how great it was and who "looked forward" to my writing and photos only to never even visit my page or care to press like or leave a comment. Who are quick to engage on all social media and share their own endeavors but never really immerse themselves in mine. If you support me show it. It let's me know you care and it encourages me to get better and continue to grow. Share your take on my work and spread the word. Support from those that say they love us is suppose to build. If I grow you grow, there is enough to go around for all of us.

illustration by picturequotes.com

I Got Your Back...I have yours do you really have mine?

Share your thoughts, have you had times where your dreams have been ghostly supported by friends and family? Are you the friend that receives the empty words or the one who has spoken them? Let's talk I'd love to hear your experience.

Always stress free xo

Mari

Is it Worth a Revisit?

illustration by quotesgram.com

Mother's Day is fast approaching and as most are scrambling to get the perfect gift or plan the perfect meal there are some who only have memories. Some whose mom is no longer with them and this day reminds them of all those great times and years shared. They wish they could have more time with her and bring her up to date on their latest life events and then there may be a few like me...

The ones who have a mom that is still living but they have no connection to. The mom that with time they just have lost touch with and have grown in separate directions. The mom that even though you can recall some good times the bad times seem to overshadow even those fond memories.

I am at an age where I can recall my life and look at things from a different perspective. Being a mother now myself and being as close as I am with my own daughter there are just certain things I can't understand even when I continue to try. No amount of time can clear up for me the disconnect between a parent and a child.

illustration by pinterest.com

I try to remember my mother as the woman she was before she remarried. The music blasting, party going, always smiling mom. The awesome dresser, the commanding look at me when I walk in the room, the life is beautiful and I am happy to be here mom. The hard working we gonna make it mom. The confident all is possible mom. I never like to sit too long thinking about the other mom. The one who got her spark sucked out of her during an over a decade marriage. The one who stopped making Lemonade at of lemons.

My mom raised me as a single parent till I was in middle school and then she remarried. I thought if she was happy I was cool but after a while what I realized was that unhappy people like to drag happy people down. They don't think half full to them everything is half empty. They don't see any up side to them everything is down hill. They don't see possibilities they only see obstacles. Even a saint in these circumstances can loose some of its faith. Two kids later and finally a divorce she was and hasn't been the same ole mom ever again.

Here we are so many years later she is now in her early 60's and suffering from Emphysema. I would say the last ten years have been filled with many ups and downs. Long stretches of time gone without exchanging a word followed by an emergency that brings us together only to then slowly walk away again. After a while you just learn to respect the path that those around you have chosen and if it doesn't have enough room for you, you learn to walk away. Difficult people stuck in misery and stubborn habits don't do well with those who present options.

illustration by pinterest.com

So here I am close to another Mother's day thinking "should I reach out to her? should I try to open the lines of communication again? should I put aside all past attempts and approach them with a new set of eyes?" My daughter and I went to a Prince memorial gathering in Harlem, NYC a few days ago. We had a wonderful time and ended the evening with great conversation and a lovely dinner. On our drive back I thanked her for joining me and she said "of course mom, I don't understand kids and parents not investing time with one another it's not like you will always be around so I have to make the most of our time while you are still here."

Make the most of our time while you are still here, wow what a statement. Guess I have a few days to think about this.

What do you think? Is there someone in your life that you have had to walk away from for whatever reason and you feel it is time to try and revisit? How many attempts should be made to repair a damaged relationship? Should only one person make all the effort? What if the people you are dealing with only see things as winning or loosing, I am right and you are wrong? Share your thoughts, experiences and or comments.

Always stress free xo.

Mari

The Happiness in Silence

Everything doesn't have to be loud and grand. 

Everything doesn't have to be bold and shocking. 

Everything doesn't have to be...said. 

Happiness in Silence

Knowing that your thought of daily.

Knowing that your being prayed for.

Knowing that your looked at with a sense of peace.

Happiness in Silence

illustration by project happiness.org

Sharing the same space without saying a word

Reading together without even speaking

Sitting across the room from one another just...being

Happiness in Silence

illustration by theverybestquotes.com

Something to think about.

Always stress free xo

Mari

Not Broken, just Bent

Ever have that moment when you know there is still some good left but so many little bad things have clouded the way and you just don't know how you will or even can...get past them?

Love is not about being on a smooth ride it's about being on a ride worth staying on till the end.

Every little disagreement or lack of interest or even brakes in compatibility are not the end all or be all that we paint them to be while we are in the moment. It is only when we allow them to pile up and build so high we can't see past them anymore that we are heading towards disaster. But how can we tell the difference between not Broken and just Bent?

illustration by kafkalives.org

I have a unique respect and affection for the word Broken, so much so I have it tattooed on the back of my neck. Only when I wear my hair up and especially in the Summer is it visible to all. When it is seen people's reactions are very interesting. Emotions are strong with that one little word.
But I find it powerful and freeing.

All relationships go through changes.
Nothing gets to the middle as it began and nothing ends as it started. If it does than it's actually sad because it means there was no growth and no addition and lots and lots of just dealing with.

As parents we get the sort of guaranteed 18 years of changes depending on your life's journey, I'm nearing 21 very soon. Had I not been willing to work with the Bent moments we certainly would have been Broken. I made a conscious choice, to do the best I could with what I had to make the ride with my daughter one worth staying on till the end.

illustration by jarofquotes.com

That same attention to details and dedication to success applies to all my other relationships and from my perspective it is something that at times many of us begin to lack and become neglectful of. We take for granted the little things that bought us together and begin to focus on things that with effort and communication could be smoothed out. We turn our backs on moments we think will always be there and let our attention be consumed by those uncomfortable episodes of daily life.

Love is not something forced, it's that tug in your heart that says "you really pist me off right now but I am so glad you will still be around for another hug later". Love is breath and changes.
Next time you hit a rough patch ask yourself...
"Will that really matter in the end?"
Not Broken, just Bent

illustration by indiabright.com

Share your thoughts, do you believe all relationships should just flow smoothly or are you open to accept that moments will come that test your invested time and energy?

Always stress free xo

Mari

Sometimes Talk is Not Cheap

Happy Sunday! I am so looking forward to Spring I already started replanting and adding some new plants to my already filled home. I live in an apartment so space is limited for those that know about apartment living but I just feel so alive and happy around plants. I'll share some pictures soon.

Today I wanted to briefly bring you up to speed on my share about disappointment. I ended up requesting the Home Attendants removal but not before finding out some even more unsavory information and still the verbal diarrhea continued up until this past Friday when another family member reached out to me to express his view and opinions. Keep in mind no one else in my family plays any role in my grandmother's care. With that being said as I was being semi attacked and questioned for my actions as I breathed deeply and closed my eyes I thought about this...Talk is Cheap...or is it?

Remember the phrase "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me?"

illustration by quotes gram.com

How as kids our parents would tell us to shrug off someone's ugly words or perhaps at some point we told that to our our children? Then hopefully we learned better and realized that words do hurt. Sometimes even more than a slap in the face, at least a slap is a sting for a moment but what is left behind from that what came with that slap is what lingers forever.

Talk is not Cheap when it leaves scars. 

illustration by pinterest.com

When in anger or out of spite you say things that are hurtful just because you are feeling hurt yourself. You feel that if you unleash your arsenal of words you will feel better, you will get the results you want, you will...Win. But you don't what you do instead is leave a trail of destruction that sometimes takes years to repair or perhaps can never be repaired at all.

Hey listen it happens we all get angry at some point but blind anger is dangerous. I always think of this even before I started to live more mindfully and practice Meditation and Yoga. Even in my youth I was aware and conscious of name calling you can't turn back from that. Then when I had lil mama I always asked myself "would I speak to her like that or would I want her spoken to like that by someone else?" The answer was and continues to be No. 

Most parents are always protective of their children regardless of the circumstances so my perspective is to always keep my child in mind when dealing in explosive situations and communications. Words can be a dangerous tool if used poorly. 

illustration by pinterest.com

I've been working really hard at my communication skills for quite some time now and I am grateful to have learned better. Lot's of reading, talking, podcasts, volunteering, listening and trail and error but I can't give up. I must try every day to do better than yesterday. I was watching our Republican candidates a few days ago and felt such shame in these men who want to lead our Country? These are what people consider Leaders? Even those exchanges if we don't pay attention are a distraction. They invest time in insults just not to tackle the more important issues. That's just what happens in verbal attacks. So much is being said emotions go all over the place, talk is not Cheap.

So what can we do to make our talks cost less?

-BREATHE

-STOP

-WALK AWAY

-BREATHE

-STOP

-THINK

-REVISIT at another TIME

Whatever issues arise will still be there later, give yourself some space to choose your words carefully. This idea is Priceless.

What are your thoughts, how do you handle conflict? Do you give into the urge to lash back or do you remain focused and come back to issues later? What do you teach your kids about their use of words to hurt others? What lessons have you yourself learned? I'd love to know share your thoughts.

Always stress free xo

Mari

The Reflection of Disappointment

Happy Sunday! To my surprise I was up and running by 8:30 today and was totally embracing the days possibilities but I wanted to sit a minute or two or thirty and chat with you guys about Disappointment. Today many go to their place of worship and discuss Forgiveness and being Kind to their fellow man and the importance of Family and Purpose but how many will take those teachings to heart and walk out and Live it?

This past week I had two eye opening experiences that hurt my heart deeply and woke me up to life's sometimes cruel reality. Human beings when wrapped up in their own pain, struggles or plans can be really oblivious to others around them and act very poorly. This can be displayed in both words and or actions. 

My first lesson was last Saturday evening, I had just returned from a camera date and was feeling really happy and proud of my captures. I was home whining down and called baby #2 (my grandma) to check up on her. Five minutes into the conversation with her weekend Home Attendant I knew that things were heading down hill. It was like I was in the middle of some bad relationship drama, with the he said she said. The one where you start to point out things that you have been holding onto for some time and the flood gates just opened up...WIDE.

illustration by pinterest

I won't get into details because the conversation was an hour and fifteen minutes and I will never forget that number because I will never get that time back and this woman displayed all the character traits I dislike and try to stay away from. Liars, schemers, cowards, manipulators, weasel behavior. She took an almost two year relationship and trust and spit on it and dragged it through the mud then set it on fire for show. She revealed some things that she was holding on to because "I am just not easy to talk to" that could have potentially put my almost 93yr old grandma that suffers from Alzheimers in danger. 

As I calmly explained to her I will never be easy to talk to if you lie to me in my face, then talk behind my back then come back as if nothing has happened. And why would anyone feel anything less that frustration and disappointment if things have just been revealed that could have been handled much earlier had someone had the respect to just speak up? You can't expect peace if you have set the tone for Chaos.

I referenced the fact that there are four women taking care of baby #2. I am the lead I take my cue from the remaining three  I can only solve a problem when I know there is one. I also pointed out the fact that my main responsibility and concern is my grandma if she is safe and good I am fine put her in harms way and we have a problem. I don't play with that it's like when parents protect their children at all costs, she is like my child. She can't defend herself or speak for herself or do for herself. She relies on us, on me to make the best choices for her and this woman was not understanding the depth of that. I had to invest a total of three trips to Brooklyn to speak to the other Home Attendants. I had to play mom and coral the kids at different times to get their versions of the story, then dissect the information to come out with the truth, remove Saturday problem lady. Parenting never stops, those skills go with you every where.

illustration by rowingupriver.org

My next lesson came from my daughter. After almost twenty one years she made a flip statement in fast conversation at 9am in the morning that bought tears to my eyes and pain to my heart. It was the first time ever I had felt she was disappointed in Me and ashamed of who her parents were. It was such a blow one that felt like what being punched in the stomach must feel like. She tried to correct herself right after but the damage had already been done and I just politely asked that we stop conversing any further, I gathered myself and left for work. 

As a mother all I have ever wanted to do and have done is make the best decisions for her safety and growth. The sacrifices I have made have been for her to reap the rewards of the life her father and I didn't have and to hear from her words that suggest we somehow failed is disappointing indeed. I spent the whole day in sadness just soaking up this new revelation. 

illustration by positivelypresent.com

I held an hour long internal conversation with myself just going over our life and laying the pieces down and I realized that yes to a twenty year old who is extremely driven and energetic and full of knowledge and conviction some of her parents choices may seem lazy and perhaps even weak but we worked with the cards that were dealt to us and did the best that we could with what we had at the time. I wasn't mad at her turns out because she was a reflection of all the hard work that's been put into her and it was that hard work that gave her the confidence to speak what was to her at that moment her truth. At that moment I made peace with her words and understood the emotions behind them. She was upset at how life had played out for her parents because she saw how much more they were capable of.

Several hours passed that day and my lil mama texted me that she wanted us to have dinner together and have a chat so we did. She made us dinner and we talked about our day and then she touched on our exchange earlier that morning and apologized profusely. Turned out she had ran into a woman while in school and they had had a lengthy conversation about many things one being the sacrifices parents make for their children. Seems the woman's own share on her journey with her son touched my little one and gave her a different perspective. 

illustration by loveandbiscotti.com

She told me how proud she was and always has been of me and all I have provided for her and how she was grateful for all the lessons her father had taught her as well. She commented on how she had reflected on her own maturity and present situation and couldn't imagine being able to handle all we had to handle on our own. She said she had a new appreciation for all she had learned on that day.

She said she understood now how a real good parents job is never really done. That we are always working towards making things better for our children. I accepted her apology and her hugs and kisses with open arms and told her I respected what she had to say and was grateful we could talk.

The Reflection of Disappointment, if we stopped to look at ourselves more often we would spread more kindness. We would speak our peace with gentler words. We would see ourselves in others. We are all just trying to figure things out. 

Having the responsibility of caring for another is such a strong role. Parenting is a journey with many stations. Disappointment is one we will all land on but if we learn to communicate clearly and with respect our stay there can become very short. 

Someone we love will disappoint us and someone who loves us we will disappoint. How are you going to handle that moment? What will you say or do to get to the next station? If you already were there how did you handle it? Let's start a conversation.

Always stress free xo

Mari