Sunday, July 17, 2016

Becoming a Better Listener

Good Morning, hope all my dolls are doing well. We are all still trying to figure out how to deal with all these events taking place one after another. Seems the abundance of hate is never ending. These days have got me thinking about some stuff.

I have a real bad habit and I just can't seem to shake it. I constantly interrupt when I'm in a deep conversation. Not because I don't care about what you are saying, not because I want to "win" simply because I am impatient. This has been a problem for me for many years and it wasn't until I started to practice Mindfulness, Yoga and Meditation that I was able to acknowledge that character defect. I was able to say out loud "lady you have a problem".

When you know better you do better, it doesn't mean you won't have slip ups it just means you can catch yourself faster so you can correct the behavior and stay on track.

illustration by azquotes.com

Lately I have had some major fails, I chalk it up to having a lot on my plate but that isn't an excuse. We all have tons of responsibilities to juggle and that shouldn't cover up poor behavior. I've had to apologize on a few occasions which I'm not to happy about. Not the apologizing part, if I'm wrong I'm wrong but about having to apologize in the first place when all that was required was for me to slow down and practice what I have learned.

The following are a few things I learned through my research and try to practice daily...

-listen as if your life depended on it. If you try this you will see that rushing to get your say in can really wait after all. No one is rushing towards death.

-listen without already have a response in mind. When you do this you aren't paying attention to the other persons feelings.

-make eye contact. When you look someone in eyes you can have empathy because you can see the emotions they are feeling as they speak. You can also stay present and focused.

-create a "safe" environment. Shut the gadgets off, sit in a quiet place. Distractions are harmful to great communication.

-love & respect. Remind yourself the goal is a resolution. You want to walk away with clarity and not build more confusion. 

These are the most frequent ones I use but the link I am sharing has a broader list and explanations. It may help you next time you don't do your best to listen and behave like a jerk as I have recently. Baby steps one day at a time we are all a work in progress and we can only correct ourselves.


illustration by pinterest.com

What poor communication skill(s) do you have that keep causing you trouble? What tools are you using to try to get better?

Always stress free xo,
Mari

4 comments:

  1. I have a tendency not to listen to the whole story. And interrupt. Something I am really trying to work on.

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    1. Hey Tammy thanks for stopping by and commenting. Something we both have to get working on then lol. It really is best thing we can do for ourselves, you can't grow in your connections if you can't listen properly and as parents we can't teach if we don't practice ourselves. Stay well hope to chat again real soon :)

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  2. I have such social anxiety! I get nervous around big groups of people, always wondering if I'll have something to say, or just sound silly. I think, because of that, I sometimes forget to make eye contact. It's something I am working on. I enjoyed reading your post, thanks!

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    1. Emily welcome and thanks for comments. It wasn't something I even knew I did but I too years ago finally became aware I didn't make long enough eye contact. I had to start small, I'd smile at strangers in the street and hold there gaze till they smiled back or didn't but I made sure I stayed focus for the response. It took some time but now it's like breathing. Main trick I've been using is listening as if my life depended on it. I learned it from some research I found on how to become better listener. One day at a time lol:) hope to chat again have great weekend

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