Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Parents don't have all the Answers

Happy Wednesday! A lovely evening of Pretty Little Liars watching with my Lil mama bought upon some great conversation and as I fell asleep last night this is what I thought of again. So I wanted to talk about it with you.

Here's is a BIG question...

Should I admit I don’ have all the answers? I don’t really know everything after all?
Would it be so terrible of me to actually “be human”?

illustration by opencolleges.edu.au

My perspective is that once we can freely admit that just because we are parents we don't have special powers that allow us to know everything we are better able to communicate with our kids and find out the answers, Together.

My twenty one years of non stop talks have bought about many learning lessons indeed. I wasn't afraid to admit I didn't know everything and I wasn't afraid to ask for help or look things up. Topics ranging from drugs to body development to self esteem and sexuality we have touched it all. We survived because we did the following:

-we made time to talk daily
-we showed each other respect
-we didn't turn our talks in lessons
-we used age appropriate language

illustration by thecrazylady.wordpress.com

Communication is key, our kids need to feel and know that regardless of how uncomfortable something may be they can come to us and talk things through and if we can't help we will help them in getting the right answers...together. Today there are so many pressures and so much available information, as parents it is our responsibility to make sure our kids are getting the right information.

Parenting is a journey, there is no right or wrong answer all the time. Parents don't have all the answers and that is totally ok. Next time your kid comes up to you and asks you a question take the opportunity to talk about how you felt at that age when you too had questions and didn't know who to turn to for the answers. Never forget you were that same age once.

What do you think? Is this something we should admit and start a conversation with our kids about? Is admitting we don't know it all a bad thing?

Always stress free xo,
Mari

19 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. I too enjoy the conversations with my now 17 year old son as they are becoming fewer and far between. What happened to my little boy who clung to my leg as if his life depended on it...now he jumps in the car and drives off. See what you have to look forward to-lol

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    1. Lol, yes we must cherish those moments as they change with age :) . Antionette, thanks for visit!

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  3. This is a wonderfully honest post. My daughter is 2 and this is the relationship I strive to have with her when she's a teenager. You're doing such an excellent job. I think admitting that you don't know everything is wonderful advice for parents not matter what the age of their children. Thanks for posting :)

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  4. I was a single mom to my oldest sons for several years resulting in me being VERY close and honest with them. They ask me and talk to me about things that I'd never have ever thought to talk to my parents about.
    My kids trust me to not freak out when they ask questions and they trust me to keep their confidences. Trust is much more important than knowing all the answers.
    Wonderfully honest post.

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    1. Fantastic, glad to hear. Especially with boys, it is always wonderful for them to have a great connection with a female and if it could be mom, what a blessing :).
      Thanks for visit and glad you enjoyed post :)

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  5. Hi Mari, I agree with you. It sparks up open ended conversation with your children and you end up learning more about them and/or their friends. Times have changed, I agree. Open ended conversations, not lectures, with my teenager helped me learn alot about her.

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    1. Suzanne, glad you enjoyed the post! Thanks for visit. Lets keep the communication lines open indeed! :)

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  6. Great post. I think it is so important to admit we're human and don't know everything. I tell this to my students at the beginning of every school year and I hope I can have as open as a relationship with my daughters that you obviously have with yours.
    Angela @ Time with A & N

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    1. Angela! thank you so much for post and visit. It is a wonderful thing you share with your students. I believe Teachers are always an extension of raising healthy, considerate and bright children. Thank you for your contribution. Have a great school year :)

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  7. oh yes, it is definitely okay to say, and not know everything. My grandmother would say, "what we don't know would make a whole new world!"

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  8. No shame to admit we're human and don't know everything!
    Hi! Stopping by from Mom Bloggers Club. Great blog!
    Have a nice day!

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    1. Veronica welcome and thanks for comments. It's always freeing to admit that nothing is perfect.

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  9. Hello Beautiful!

    This is exactly why having a Village is so important. We have to set ourselves free from thinking that we have to be everything to everyone which has us believing we must always be right.

    Great share!

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    1. Mama welcome! Awesome to see you here:) thanks for visit and comments. Yes having to do everything mentality is not the way to go. Village!!!

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  10. I think this is so important not only to believe as a parent, but also to convey to our children. With all of the pressures they are under in school, sports, and other activities, the expectations to know anything and everything are high. It is ok to ask for help and to ask questions. Such an important skill for a child to develop!

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    1. Jeremy welcome thanks for sharing your comments. Appreciate the visit, I agree that asking questions and for help is a valuable skill. Most adults carrying the I can do it all mentality and that is just very poor self care which trickles down to everything. Hope to see you here again soon :)

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