Sunday, March 30, 2014

Boys go through this too

What to expect puberty pamphlets, websites that offer guidance, countless places to turn to when looking for help, automatically assumed this is part of the package. All this is catering to our girls self esteem issues but what about our boys?

It is expected that at some point in time all females regardless of age will go through some sort of slump when it comes to self esteem issues. Magazines tell us so, talk shows cater to it, pediatricians comment on the matter, females talk among themselves.

What we hardly hear about to same degree is the male experience and what is available for them to use to cope and help along this same difficult path. Is it that society does not feel or is accepting that males suffer from this as well?

Right around the sixth or seventh grade when during gym class the words body mass index begin to be used it is not only the girls who start to panic but the boys do as well.
No one likes to be sized up or told what is the ideal this or that...no one.

Just like girls, boys are equally concerned with their appearance. Their hair, their skin, their height and yes their weight.
No one wants to deal with pimples, no one wants to be the shortest on the team, no one wants to be told they are cute because they are "chubby" and remind them of a lovable Teddy Bear.

Males should never be labeled too sensitive because they are going through an emotional stage in their growth. There will be plenty of moments in their lives to so call "man up". If the older males in their lives are not being helpful then it is up to the females to step in and offer suggestions and advise.

It doesn't make you any less of a male to show concern for your looks and appearance. It doesn't make you any less of a male to doubt that you are good enough to date that girl. It doesn't make you any less of a male to be comfortable with emotions and sensitivity.

I'd think I would much prefer to raise a well adjusted man. Someone who is strong in character and in principles and who has empathy for other's short comings. Someone who can change a light bulb and make me dinner. Someone who can provide for any and all needs when it comes to his family.

The way we make this happen is to address any and all issues as they come up, with the same love and kindness we do with our daughters. Anything less and we will have raised a potential jerk.
Don't take self esteem issues in your boys lightly. Communication. Respect. Empathy.

Listen and guide them to the best solutions you can provide just as you would your girls.

Below are some links with great information specific to our boys.
kidshealth.org
scarsdaleschools.k12.ny.us
loveourchildrenusa.org
commonsensemedia.org


10 comments:

  1. I fully agree. . I raised a young man solo and I would like to think that I did a good job. I gave him all the support I could and encouraged him to play soccer and basketball to foster those areas I needed help with. I believe, if you are constant in your child's life and give love, support & encouragement, you cannot go wrong!

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  2. ABSOLUTELY!!! I have two daughters, one of whom has a best guy friend, who went through all of the above. When I noticed his differences in attitude, I stopped and took the time to talk to him. Made a big difference. 5 years later he is turning into a great young man!!!! Great links to share.. Bravo.

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    1. Ray, wonderful to hear, sometimes all it takes is just a few kind words and a little help to turn things around :)

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  3. Great post! It is so true! I have a little boy and I have often wondered what resources are available to him when he starts going through puberty. I have personally seen boys labeled as "too soft" or "too emotional" or told to "man up" because they even remotely show any sort of emotion or care about their personal appearance. I don't want the same to happen to my son. I want him to feel confident to share his feelings and be a great young man. This is an excellent post, Mari!

    Thanks so much for sharing on Turn It Up Tuesday! We love having you! :)

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    1. Natasha your welcome. Hope some of the links come in handy later on :). I believe one of the reasons we have so many messed up males walking around is because both Mothers and Fathers didn't allow them to grow Emotionally and physically. Everything works best with balance and being male should be No different :)

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  4. What an awesome article and I have to completely agree. We definitely focus more on these issues with girls (probably because of the mean girl phenomenon), but boys absolutely have similar experiences. We probably don't cater enough to the emotional sensibilities of young men and I would dare to say that the perceived increase in mass shootings, violent outrage, etc. should clue us in to the fact that not addressing their emotional needs could be a grave mistake. Great piece!

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    1. Thank you PC, thanks for visit and comments. Hopefully posts like these can bring about conversations no one wanted to have before :)

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  5. This is definitely food for thought...

    Scott reminds me all the time that adolescence can be just as difficult with boys as it is with girls. This was somewhat of a surprise to me initially because, as an only child, I really didn't have much experience with teenage boys -- really knowing them and living with them. The teenage angst that is thought to affect only girls so profoundly also affects boys, which I'm sure I'll discover in the years to come...oh, the joy.

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  6. "The way we make this happen is to address any and all issues as they come up, with the same love and kindness we do with our daughters. Anything less and we will have raised a potential jerk.
    Don't take self esteem issues in your boys lightly. Communication. Respect. Empathy."
    I am not a parent, but I think this is great advice.

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    1. Tesh thank you! Appreciate visit, comment and support :)

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