Sunday, August 3, 2014

Blogiversary!!! What is Parenting? A revisit to my 1st post.





Today is my Blogiversary


I can't believe how fast this year has gone and all that I have learned.
I continue to be amazed at all I run into in the Blogging world.
As I have stated before there is such a variety of tools and information out here for parents that you just have to catch that one that adds to your lifestyle and go with it.
The more tools, the more options for better results.

There is always more ways than 1 to do things.

As I reflected on this past year I wanted to go back and revisit my 1st post. I wanted to see if what I wrote then still rings true to me today. 
If my views had changed or if I had anything to add, remove and reflect on.
This is what I wrote in my 1st post:


What is Parenting?

Does anyone ever ask this question?

Do people really want to know the answer?

Eighteen years ago I came to this conclusion…
  • Parenting doesn’t begin with the belly
  • Parenting begins with you and your feelings about self-awareness and what you have to offer
  • Parenting is attitude
  • Parenting’s first emotion is Desire. Desire to be a mom, wanting to share your life, love and experiences
  • Parenting is excitement, you will bring someone into this world who may look like you, who will make you laugh and cry at times yet it will all be worth it
  • Parenting is being a Jack of all trades. Wearing many hats at one time and being able to handle the fact you won’t be able to control everything. Your rewards will consist of smiles, hugs, kisses, I love yous and a productive human being in society. Someone who you will be proud of and know they will make the world a better place because they are in it.
Are we as a society doing certain things to prepare ourselves to become good parents?

So, do I still agree with this post? How have I changed in this past year?

My answer is Yes I still agree whole heartily and the only change I've gone through is being even more grateful at the communication skills I have incorporated in my parenting journey.

I don't just want to be a good parent, I don't just want to do better than my parent's did, I want to have evolved! 
To just be good or do better means little tweaks here and there but to evolve means to genuinely revisit your own life as a whole and embrace that parenting is ever changing and that yes some old stuff does work but our children today are dealing with very different issues than we ever have or had before.

My daughter and I were at a dinner last night. A mini gathering to celebrate the achievements of my nephew. How well he did this year in school, how proud we are at how far he has come in his swimming and how happy we all are to continue to see what a great young man he is turning out to be. You see this is the son of my amazing friend Cynthia, who transitioned a few years back from issues with Cancer. 
This is my adopted family as I call them.

So during the gathering of course there is a lot of chatter, laughs, smiles and food but there is also sadness, tears and a sense of someone missing. We acknowledge it and move on.

Last night I took notice of the communication skills being displayed by the parents in the room and the "children".
I noticed the older parents conducted themselves as dictators and the younger ones "me lol" took a more balanced approach. 
There were no in between parents last night. 

My nephew is almost 17 years old and is being raised by his grandmother, who means well but...
She is not raising him as his mother would have approved and she is still behaving very old school.
Though we, her eldest daughter and myself talk to her often about how she needs to "evolve" she refuses to listen and try a different approach.
She treats him like a baby, literally and then is upset when he doesn't take initiative.
She speaks to him as if he was 5 and then says things like "you need to grow up".
Hummm, well can we say mixed messages?

Communication. We all must continue to make efforts on a daily to communicate properly.
To express to our children our expectations clearly and to find balance as they grow to cut the strings and allow them to find their own way.
To respect our children as individuals even at the age of 3, everyone deserves respect. To speak with love and kindness always, to earn on both parts the right to be listened too and trusted.

So now that my 1st year has arrived, I want to thank all those near and dear to me, all my new found blog friends and all those who have shown me support and given any attention to this dream I had and am currently sharing which is writing about my journey as a parent, as a mom and all the amazing rewards it has given me. 

Best lesson? Hands down again, Communication! 19 years later my daughter still sits with me and shares her day. I never have to pull teeth, hover or spy. It's an easy flow of conversation, mutual respect and love.
I want to thank my own mother for inspiring me to take a different rode to parenting.

Now let's continue to learn, share and grow together!!! Hope you stay on this ride with me much love
Always stress free xoxo

12 comments:

  1. Happy Anniversary. So glad you decided to blog.

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  2. I've enjoyed reading your posts :) Happy Anniversary!

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  3. Happy Bloggiversary! Beautiful words! I agree, good communication and respect is critical.

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  4. Happy Anniversary to a great blog.

    Hope for many more years.

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    Replies
    1. Patrick thank you for your support 😉😀

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  5. Congrats to you Mari! Keep it coming!

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