Today's share comes from my daughter, with her permission of course. I try to respect her privacy as much as possible so when ever I share something specific in connection with her I always ask first.
The other day I'm home eating dinner alone before I headed out for my walk. Lil mama was in school it was her late night. It was after six when she calls me to chat about her day and I just listened as I ate. It was as usual another enlightening convo hearing my daughters views on the world. Listening to her share her day and classroom experiences. Towards the end of the convo she asks me if I read her email, I said no. I told her "your mama only checks her emails three times a day. After 10am, at 3:30 and between 6/7pm" She responded "ok great I like that, I don't want you consumed with checking in." I said "no, I'm totally not."
She said "ok well I sent you an email today I want you to read. I wanted to share it especially with you." I said "ok when I hang up I will open and read." We said our I love u's and see you laters and hung up. I took a sip of my lemon water and proceeded to open her email this is what I read...
So I was given an assignment at school that said to write a page about how you want people to see you. I decided to share this with you guys because I think an important part of becoming the person you want to be seen as, has alot to do with the people close to you holding you accountable for the things you say. This is kind of like, if I ever stop being the person I talk about in this paper, use this and remind me lol. Also thank you for supporting me, and mami specifically, for being the biggest thing to shape my life. I only had one page so I tried to just focus on myself and your role is 4 pages minimum of writing. My existence and accomplishments will ALWAYS be owed to you firstly and you are ALWAYS my biggest source of inspiration and motivation. Please don't text me an emotional response because I don't want to start crying in class lol. Love you guys
illustration by sourceofincome.com
As I dabbled lightly on my tears I opened the attached doc and this is what I read...
MGT 3120 FTA9/5/16
I think we cannot speak about the type of person we want others to see us as if we do not consider our parents, and which parts of them we have tried to emulate growing up. I grew up in a family that was not close, with 2 parents who were extremely independent individuals. They never treated me as a child who wasn’t capable of understanding the outside world and all its complications, but rather found ways to explain things within the scope of my lived experience up to that point. More importantly, they fostered my own independence. While this independence truthfully gave way to some issues with authoritative figures, it also helped me have a clear understanding of which rules in life are valid and which are based in fear, ignorance, or control. My parents never placed themselves or any adults around me to be seen as “all-knowing” figures to be blindly respected, and so I have not viewed adults that way and have in many ways forced them to see me as an equal.
As my mother was the more cautious of the two, I strove to be more like my father, thrill seeking and seemingly fearless. Exuding this confident energy and a street smarts that would save you from virtually any circumstances. My parents were unapologetically themselves and rose me to be the same way. I want people to see me as someone genuine, who is secure in my identity and in my individual path. Growing with this independence, as I entered the work force at 16 years old, it was time to apply what I had seen, and to begin shaping what position I wanted to have relative to our economic world. I began working in fashion, and developed a passion for every aspect of the industry. This developed my taste for more expensive things naturally, and a desire for a far more luxurious lifestyle than either of my parents could ever afford me. So once again this became another facet of my independence, pushing to escape the economic status I’d been born into. I want to be seen as someone who works hard and takes great pride in everything they do.
I realized a big part of growing in this industry was investing in yourself. Being so aesthetic based, this became another crucial part of my identity. I want people to see me, aesthetically, as someone who takes risks. I believe the way we present ourselves in any setting allow people to make many judgements of us, and with that being said, the way we dress should be an extension of our personalities. I have worked as a personal stylist for the last 2 years and so much of my work with my clients is psychological; it is about finding pieces that speak to their energy and lifestyle and not about what any magazine says we should wear. I strive for people to see me as someone not afraid to be alone in my opinions. In this industry, there is so much sameness as many brands make the crossover to corporations and I want to enter it as someone who truly believes fashion is art, and deserves to be seen as such, not diluted into varying uniforms. I want people to see me as an artist. Art in all aspects is my passion, and defining myself as an artist, has completely changed the way I view the world. This brings me to my entrepreneurial venture as a designer, building an independent label, and defining myself as an entrepreneur. I believe ultimately being a successful entrepreneur is about forging your own path, your own rules, and proving things can always be done in so many different ways. I want people to see me ultimately as someone who set goals for themselves and was fearless enough to actually accomplish them.
illustration by fearlessmotivation.com
I chose to share this with you so you can get a better picture of the beautiful young woman I am blessed to call, my daughter and to affirm that anything is possible if we build strong respectful connections with our children and always keep communications going. Think we can all benefit from Personal Inventory? Share your thoughts.
Always stress free xo,