In Relationships, what matters most Stability or Potential?

The topic of Love and building relationships keeps coming up lately in a lot of my social groups. Most recently last night at a Divine Release Party I attend. More on that at another time. But things were bought up in reference to what is being looked for, accepted of and expected of. This pushed me into tackling the all important question...in building a long term relationship do we focus on Stability or Potential?

I recently took part in a great conversation with two beautiful women in two different age groups I made three. We were catching up on our latest goings on and dating came up. One just recently started talking to an old college friend. The other is dating two people everything is out in the open and I'm low key dating here and there but nothing serious.

The talking to first date went well she shared. Lots of conversation and clarity and the focus is on getting to know one another and sex is off the table because one party is practicing celibacy until right person comes along. Things look promising but doesn't want to rush and get her hopes too high. This person is a little scattered , knows what he wants but just hasn't grabbed hold of it yet. Talking to is willing to see how things play out.

illustration by refe99.com

Dating two people is feeling uneasy. Things are starting to develope and more feelings are getting involved. She's starting to see it's time to make a decision. Her decision is does she go with the person who is stable, has things going for them already and isn't too emotional or does she go with the one who shows great potential, is kind, loving and considerate?

Me...talking to/dating lots of potential. Mostly clear and going in the right direction great chemistry, lots of fun very loving but the timing might be off.

So put all those things together and the discussion was bound to be eye opening and educational.

We all agreed that clarity was a most. We also agreed that communication from the start was and would be crucial to any positive outcome and we also agreed that no one has the energy to invest their time only to feel like it had been wasted later on.

What we disagreed on was the level of Potential we were willing to invest our time and energy on. Seeing potential, showing potential and working with the potential presented to us.

Oddly enough the youngest in the group said she had no more time to waste on potential, she couldn't build or bank on something that wasn't tangible any time soon. The second oldest said she wasn't to keen on this whole potential thing playing out for too long either and I was more easy going on it.

illustration by jimmymccarty

I played devil's advocate and pleaded a case on behalf of Potential. How great it could be to watch someone grow into their greatness and be part of that journey. How sometimes we have to give great things time to develope, they weren't having it. I shared my relationship experiences with them and they reminded me that because that was my experience in the past at this stage in my life Potential would be a total waste of time.

I hate to admit it but I sort of agree with them. I'm totally against even connecting with a someone who is trying to figure themselves out but more and more I'm also not to interested in investing much of my time on Potential. I feel because I am so clear on the path I want to walk on that building with a person on their Potential path might slow me down.

I'm thinking there is an age limit on this Stability vs Potential relationship building? What do you think? Would you consider implementing a time limit if you did choose Potential or is Stability the only way to go? Share your thoughts. I'd love to know what you think and for you to share examples of how to deal with this issue in my dating journey.

illustration by picturequotes.com

Always stress free xo,
Mari