Sunday, July 27, 2014

Hair Hair Hair

Three people inspired me to touch this subject.
-Blue Ivy
-The lovely Courtney Conover over
-The cheerful Jennifer Borget over

We all have hair issues some more than others and some more extreme than others.

Women especially seem to be hit with the most criticism and it comes from other women!

The Catty disease I call it.
Where instead of building each other up we tear each other into shreds till we fall to the ground.

Just for clarity purposes I will point out three things.
-I am Hispanic / Latina
-I have an abundance (thank you up above) of hair
-My hair is black, thick and curly

As a child I recall many days of  "bad" hair days. When you have hair such as mine it does not take just a few minutes to do and walk out the door.
I remember many days of pony tails and crying when I washed my hair.
I remember in my early teens, hitting myself in the head (yes I know, what!?) with the hair brush because my hair wouldn't behave.

It didn't help that my mother didn't look for better ways to deal with my texture. I mean her idea of dealing was taking me to the Salon / Beauty Parlor and having the lady either put some straightening treatments or having them put these hugh rollers in my hair that when I got out the dryer my hair needed it's own space. It was so high up and bouncy I didn't even want to walk outside.

By the time H.S. came along I was better able to handle my own hair styling. It still could have used some work but it was much better for sure.
I was aware that humidity was my enemy.
I was aware that during the warm months I must keep all styles to bare minimum.
I was aware that rubber bands, head bands and gels were my best friend.

It also didn't help that all the models during my trying years had straight, soft, hair.
That all the products catered to White women's hair as you saw on television.
Thank god for music videos and magazines like Vanidades and Ebony. Thank god for my grandma and her Spanish channels and thank god I lived within the five boroughs of NYC where I got to experience a vast variety of women and styles.

In my early twenties I finally learned to accept that yes my hair texture was different but not bad.
That there were many women who actually envied and did things to their hair to make it look like mine.
That I had to go to places and people who knew how to deal with my hair so I wouldn't hear stupid comments like "oh my god you have so much hair" um yes I do and thank you!!!
That yes I have to work and do certain things differently to my hair that other women may not, but that it's ok and that it's the right thing to do for me.

When I had my daughter I never once gave it a second thought on how to handle her hair.
I knew better, I used better tools and I had experience.
Though my daughter's hair is of a different texture, because her daddy's hair was different than mine she was blessed with the best from both of us. Trust when I say my daughter has a lot of hair.

I took my time with her. I allowed myself extra hair time in the mornings. I bought all sorts of pins and ties for her. I gave her hair treatments ( natural ones) once a month. During the warm months we did bare minimum and away from the face.
No alcohol based products so we could avoid damage and dryness.

Throughout my thirties I allowed my hair to grow long. I followed all my rules and I enjoyed a great happy run. I had the Rachel, I had all the great long hair styles the celebrities sported.
Then a few years back I got bored. I got tired of the weight, of the responsibility it took to maintain the look and the effort it took so it could look like it took no effort at all.
I wanted a change but wasn't sure of what to do.
Then I saw Hillary Swank on Oprah cutting off all her hair and donating it!

I had found the answer I was looking for! What a great way to make a change and help someone else all at the same time.

I looked up Locks of Love (locksoflove), an organization that uses your donations to provide wigs for children dealing with hair loss issues. The information was great, I loved what they stood for and since I had lost my friend Cynthia to a type of Cancer I felt she would be proud of me as well. She was another one with a Lion's mane of hair till she got sick.

One of the requirements is 10 inches long or more. That was easy for me, my hair was waistline length just the right order.
I went to their website signed up, got the tools in the mail and off to chopville I went.
I took my daughter with me as moral support and told no one about what I was about to do.

When I got there and told my stylist my intentions her eyes opened up so wide I thought I was looking at a cartoon.
The word spread quickly and everyone was shocked and gasping. "OMG, why would you want to do that?" "Wow, I would never cut my hair" "What will your husband say?" "Are you crazy?" etc...etc...
Are you serious? All that because of some hair? It's only hair!!!
It will grow back.

Needless to say, hair was chopped off to a little above shoulders and has been chopped off even more after. I felt such a relief and so proud of myself.
Women should not be defined by their hair or any other part or thing on their bodies!!!
Let's learn to work with what we have and enjoy what we were given.

The harsh comments about Blue Ivy were eye opening to me. The judgment on a child's natural hair and the opinions shared? Unbelievable.
My lovely Courtney's hair dilemma shares one being on her son taking swimming lessons and my cheerful Jennifer for wanting to leave her sons hair alone made me stop and recall my own hair journey.
Thank you for inspiring me to share my own road block and how I jumped right over it ❤️❤️❤️

-Courtney Conover

-Jennifer Borget

I'm including links to both ladies so you can visit with them as well and I am including pics and link to Locks so perhaps if you have been debating getting a new look this can be a push to take the leap!
Options Options Options!!!

Always stress free xo


  1. Mari...girl, I know just where you are coming from. This hair thing is real. Hair is simply It hurt my heart to see all of the cruel criticism about Blue Ivy and her hair. It was ridiculous. I'm glad that you are comfortable with who you are...because if we leave it up to society, our self esteems would be in constant shatter. What ever you decide to do with your hair....I'm sure it is going to turn out beautiful. Oh...and yes, whip out that sewing machine and get at it. xo

    1. Natasha๐Ÿ˜‰ thanks for visit and comments. I tell you our society is so twisted for sure. I'm letting it grow out again for another hair donation so let's see how it goes ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ‘. As for the sewing machine looking into it shortly. Will be hitting you up to swap ideas :) lol

  2. My dearest Mari!!!

    I am SO glad our paths crossed today on my SITSDay so that I was led to this post. (What with everything The Hubs and I have going on at the moment, it unfortunately slipped below my radar...)

    Thank you for sharing your journey, which I KNOW for a fact that so many readers will be able to relate to. (Thank you, also, for linking to my blog; I am humbled by it.)

    I'm going to share on twitter right now!


    1. Awh Courtney thanks doll for the love xo!!! Glad you liked the post. Chat again soon for sure, enjoy your SITS day once again :)

  3. You are beautiful! Look at those locks! Thanks for the link love (I'm so excited you find me cheerful!). Goodness my hair "journey" has been unique but not quite as drastic (with the cutting), but wearing it naturally curly the last year has been an eye-opening experience in and of itself. Good for you for donating your hair! That is awesome. You're such a sweet woman.

    1. Jennifer, thank you :) what an eye opening experience indeed who would have thought HAIR is so interesting lol. Thanks for visit and comments love your shares so we will chat soon xo


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