I Quit

Good Morning, happy cold crisp Sunday to me in NYC.
Summer really couldn't wait to get out of here fast enough I guess, oh well.

I woke up this morning and had no real direction on where I wanted to go and then my daughter came to mind and the interesting ride she has had in the last 6 months. My daughter always inspires me to continue to ask questions of life, reason and purpose.

My daughter will be 20 years old in April and already has held 3 different types of jobs in her lifetime.

Between the ages of 13 & 15 she would temp in my office as a File clerk or do some Data entry, at the age of 16 she became the youngest Sales clerk at Aldo's shoe store and this past May she ventured  into a Leather accessories Boutique in SoHo, New York.

Every parent hopes and wishes that they raise a responsible, reliable, hard worker and I have been blessed to have those qualities in my daughter in all she applies herself too.
But unlike even some adults she also has an amazing keen sense of when it is time to let something or someone go.

Back in April after 3 years at Aldo's she comes home and says "my run there is coming to an end. I no longer feel challenged or excited about what I am doing. I no longer have the desire to give them 100% of my energy and I have gone as far as I can go in that environment." Wow, that was a bold statement. Very telling and honest. She didn't focus on the fact she would no longer have an income or that her finances would have to be readjusted no, her concern was peace of mind and growth.

She said "I no longer have the desire", how many of us have felt this way and yet still stuck things out because of need or fear? How many times in our own lives have we knowingly come to and end yet kept on pushing?

When she finished sharing all I said was "Ok, get started on cleaning up your resume, rearrange your budget, make sure you don't leave any loose ends and hand in your notice." "I never want you to settle and I never not want you to give 100%, you are still young and not tied down by bills, or life's responsibilities you don't have to stay anywhere you don't want to be."

That was the end of that, by June she said her goodbyes, shared in her tearful hugs and best wishes and within a week had found another job in the city (New York) in retail again but this time in a Boutique setting selling leather belts.
From the beginning her energy was amazing, her boss was very impressed and quickly her duties increased. She was asked to work on one of the window displays in one of the stores and being that her field of choice is Business Marketing, she was over the moon. Long story short, her boss was very  happy with the results, the display bought in some new clients, the store was generating great sales.

In the store she was originally assigned to she was one of the top Sales associates, her numbers were very impressive which wasn't a huge surprise to anyone because she did the same at Aldo's.

My daughter was very excited about the doors this position could and would open for her in her field of interest. She was in an environment that was fast paced and always growing and changing and the people she was working with all had a great team work attitude.
Her boss was always full of praise and willing to allow her to continue to explore her talents and increase her responsibilities.
Within a month she had keys to all the stores and would open and close for him at different sets of time. She just kept adding to her list of duties while still going to school and was having the time of her life.

Then she had an accident on the job. Her left hand thumb got caught in the belt snap machine and she had to be rushed to the hospital, thankfully all turned out better than expected and she has fully recovered with no reconstructive surgery needed as we first were originally told.
Her boss was amazing, he was the one who went with her to the hospital I was on grandma duties when accident happened, he stood with her long after I arrived, the worker's comp went smoothly, she was out for 4 weeks.
During that time, her co-workers and boss stayed in touch, sent her flowers, she went to visit, she rested because luckily she had no summer classes.
Which was great because she couldn't even wash her own hair, I had to help her with the most simplest of things. It was an interesting injury for sure.

She went back to work a few weeks ago, very excited bright eyed and ready to take on anything that came her way. She was commissioned to design the window displays for 2 stores they are opening in China and she was assigned to train the new sales people coming in...then things changed.

She started to come home all stressed and disappointed, she began to dread going to work and she began to show signs of negative energy.
I stopped her midweek last week and said we needed to talk.
We sat down to dinner and she shared that the store policies and managers had changed, that the store was being run in a manner that was not making use of her original responsibilities and she was just not liking what was going on.
As a parent I said "Life is not always about what you like, work is work. You are not always going to be smiling and laughing BUT you are far to young to settle. You still live here and you still have choices so again if this is not working for you and you can't give 100% get out."

She said she would give it another try and see how it went. On Saturday she goes to work and is handed a contract which she skims and doesn't 'like, she calls me to discuss the points she has issues with and I agree with her that she should bring them home, reread carefully then sign or not sign if she was not comfortable. She comes home and says the boss gave her a bit of a tude when she said she would take home to review and that he said if she didn't sign it then she could not work there.
I already knew what I was going to say next but I waited for her to comment, this is her decision not mine.

As I am preparing dinner she is pointing out her grievances the hours, the no mention of breaks, the hourly wage difference from conversations to what was in writing, how one page said one thing but the next page voided the previous page, how some of the rules were vague and how it stated that if any employee left they could not work in same field for 2 years but it wasn't specific in naming field or stores it referred too.
Now for someone who is working in marketing that could mean anything, it could mean she can't work at Mandee's or Macy's or Chanel or YSL.
That was the deal breaker for her, that was messing with her money and that was stating to her with the comment of you must sign this, no discussion that there was no negotiating, compromise or open to any talks period.

We sat down to dinner, she said "I am quitting" I said "good for you now let's eat."
She transformed into a whole different young lady after that, her energy was positive and her vibe was happy and peaceful.
She went in on Monday, spoke to her boss said her goodbyes told me her boss said he was sad to see her go but understood her position, said company policies had changed and some things were out of his hands, that she will do great in life and that she was an amazing energy in the company and would be missed but that doors would always be open to her.

This weekend she is in New Paltz, visiting some friends and Monday she will be back job hunting.

The lesson I learned in all of this is that I raised a really well rounded young woman, who knows her worth and the value of great work ethic.
That while we are young we should and must exercise all our knowledge into building in the right direction.
We as parents must encourage this from the start.
I never want my daughter to settle, to work or live a life that is not genuine.

I want my daughter to be at peace with her choices and to know I will always support her in whatever road she chooses.
Money is important, very important but not so important that you dread getting up in the morning to go make it.

We all have choices. Start living your genuine life...Today

Always stress free xo

illustration by pic photos.net

The Balance of Independence

As my Birth Day month soon draws to a close I wanted to sit for a moment and recap to myself what I thought were lessons I had learned this year. In the past just before my Birth Day arrives I review myself and my year and I give myself a grade.

Did I accomplish what I set out to do? Did I stick to my plans? How did I handle changes? Did I learn anything new? Did I help others? Did I make new friends and did I close any chapters in my life that needed closure?

This year I graded myself as ever changing, ever growing. Life can be bumpy as it is for me to be unkind to myself as well. Be kind to yourself, Always.

I wrote an independent piece for Women Connect Online womenconnectonline.com an awesome site dedicated to women, mothers, wives, singles etc...a great place with a vast collection of information and I am always happy to be part of anything sharing options and variations. They so graciously accepted and ran my post on 9/15/2014 that I would now love to share with you.

illustration by enpundit.com

Repost:
As a single woman in her early 40's I have found it a bit of a challenge to balance being an independent woman, strong and confident mixing in with the Dating world today.

I have been single now for over almost 3 years, dated several men during this time and chose to not date in 2014 so I could regroup and focus on what I wanted to come into my life.

I have been in 2 committed relationships in my life, one lasted 18 years and another 2 years.
What I learned from those unions was that you must accept your partner for who they are completely.
That you must not be in denial and think you will change them, yet be aware and clear that with respect and communication you can reach amazing compromises.
That relationships take effort, time and interest.

That you must like and enjoy this person outside of intimacy. That you never stop building the friendship so that all else continues to grow and flourish.

I learned that no one likes to hear and connect the words "hard work or work" when speaking of maintaining a relationship and I agree. I use to think that was the correct way to think of things but I have learned that no one really enjoys "work" and to most the idea and thought of "work" is a bit harsh and heavy.
If we are working 40 hours a week for example who then also wants to "work" at connecting with someone they love?

So this year has been a great lesson, those men I dated also taught me some great things.
Get to know yourself, be ok investing time on you, be clear in what you want and live life.
Be open to all possibilities, let go of the idea you have all the control because in reality we only have plans and goals but Life has its own way of sometimes presenting some bumps on the road and we must be able to breathe and be ok with that, let go and move on.
You attract what you put out, so make sure you are baggage free.

I have finally found the Balance of Independence.

Always stress free xo.

Sometimes an End is a wonderful Gift in Disguise

Words.
I will never be able to describe my deep respect for language and words. The grand respect I have for correct communication.
I have always craved understanding, I am a talker and I always made it a point to teach my daughter and my nieces and nephews the importance of expressing yourself properly and clearly. No screaming, no yelling, no tantrums.

So when I read what Challenge #10 on September Sapphire Even Day Blog Challenge with Kimberly from beingawordsmith.com was about I really got excited then I got quiet.

Prosperity: 
To write a post inspired by these words: Happier, Healthier, Wiser.

Everyone is in search of knowing themselves, being comfortable in their own skin, finding a place where they fit.
When we are young life is about play, When we are teens life is about being popular. When we are young adults its about letting go of our parents and striking out on our own and when we are adults sometimes it becomes about taking care of others and paying the bills.
But what happens to all the in between stuff? What happens to the fun, the freedom, the joy, the worry free?

I have been blessed to have had numerous great days in my life and to continue to have and enjoy them but aside from the day my daughter was born the day that brings me most joy was the day I chose to take all the lessons I had learned up till that point and with a deep breathe say a prayer, close those doors and walk away.

This is both figuratively and literally because it didn't just all happen in 1 day, at least not everything.

I continue to share and speak on the changes these past few years have bought me. The growth, the knowledge and lessons I have acquired.
I keep them in the forefront of my mind because I never want to forget. I don't want to repeat the past.

What I want to always share and encourage is finding true inner peace. Really getting to know yourself, your desires, your wants. Getting to know and understand what makes you whole.
Once we get to that place all falls in line. Your spirit is open to receive what now you are ready to give. Life becomes filled with what truly matters and you will no longer waste time on people and things where there is no reciprocity.

I am Happier, Healthier, & Wiser because I know my worth, I know my purpose, I know my strengths and I am grateful for having compassion and empathy both for myself and others.
I can enjoy today being even more in the moment than I have in the past.

As a woman and as a mother I can continue to teach and inspire my daughter that every day is a new start. An opportunity for a new beginning and that your story doesn't end until you say it does.

Kimberly another great one!

illustration by fanpop.com

Always stress free xo

History repeating Itself?

If we don't learn from the past we are bond to repeat it.
If we don't learn from our mistakes we will continue to make them.
If we don't monitor ourselves and correct our poor behavior we will continue to behave poorly.

Challenge #7 on September Sapphire Even Day Blog Challenge with Kimberly from beingawordsmith.com is Repudiation.

What are 4/5 things that you do or say currently that you proclaimed as a child/ as an adolescent/ last year that you would never do?

The things I said I would never do again in my past but found myself doing them again recently are:

1- speaking over people not allowing them to finish their thoughts
in doing so I have found myself in moments I have said something I shouldn't or I missed something that I should have heard.
2- eating candy or sweets more than twice a week
this has caused me to hear my dentist say, slow your roll cut it out.
3- allowing my interactions with my siblings to upset me
not approaching our resent interactions with the knowledge I have of our past, caused me several weeks of mental discomfort and poor attitude.
4- picking at my face when I spot a pimple
that caused me a few light marks on the side of my cheek a few months back but thank heavens for Ambi products and Coco butter.
5- going to fast food restaurants periodically over the summer
caused the picking of the spotted pimple in the first place grrrrrrrrrr.

So now that I am again clear and focused and aware that hello? Remember what happened last time? I have reset my attention and intent on a better path, one breath, one step, one day at a time.

illustration by dragongeek.deviantart.com

Always stress free xo

How are You?

This is a mini I want to say what is on my mind moment....

A pet peeve I have developed for some time now.

All due to this question...How are you?

Simple enough, right? Well not so simple if you are asked but then are cut off just as you are about to respond to the question.

I mean really?

I understand that people think it is being polite to ask but I believe unless you really want to know, unless you are prepared to listen to the response...just don't ask. Come up with something else to say or comment. Save everyone the trouble. That will be so polite.

I am not saying that we should all go into a monologue about our lives. That we should be investing x amount of time with everyone on a daily sharing what we are up too. What I am saying is...if you ask or are being asked then allow for a few minutes of proper exchange.

What got me to feel this way? Well I had (yes, past tense) a "friend" who without fail every time she would ask me this question would not allow me the proper time to respond. I would say something like "well things are good or coming along" and then she would get right back into her life and her goings on.
Another example is I was on a call once at my office, invested over seven(7) minutes with this person chatting up about his wife, kids and so forth then he asks "so how are you?" and just as I was about to respond he says "oh can you put so and so on the phone?" I mean geez, really you couldn't play it off and wait till I at least said "doing well or doing ok?"

How are you is a great question in which we can practice listening.
This pet peeve resurfaces just in time for back to school and end of summer.
As parents communication with our kids and taking the time to actually listen to their day is very important. It is the time in which our bonds can grow stronger and we let our kids know, hey we are here for you we care.
So slow down, next time the question comes up either with you or someone else, take the time to really listen and focus on those few moments with that person.

Mindful behavior. Things I think about.
What do you have to say?

Always stress free xo

Markings that tell a Story

Ever been fascinated by something as a child and when you heard the grown ups speak about it they made it seem so bad?

Ever see something so beautiful or what you thought was beautiful and when you pointed it out to someone else they saw the opposite?

I have and I am sure so have many others.

This post is about Tattoos.
My Tattoos and the story they tell.

I have always been fascinated by the idea that someone would have such conviction on an image or belief enough to mark their bodies with it. Or that something made such an impression on them that they wanted to carry it with them forever.

Tattoos bring forth many thoughts and emotions. A lot of misconceptions and opinions. They never go by unnoticed that's for sure.
They can be great conversation pieces, they can break the ice, they can even let you know just how judgmental our society can be.

I have 5 Tattoos. My first was in my mid 20's. At the time I got it, it was not very acceptable because of the placement. It is above my butt in the waist area and it was called a "tramp stamp". I never used those words or thought of it as such, but I did run into people who would. Unless I wore an open back or something of that nature or unless you were a close friend, family or my partner you would never see it.
I chose this area because of my admiration for the lower back, I think its a very sensual place on a woman and I wanted the art piece I chose to be an expression of that. I chose vines with yellow Roses and a small butterfly fluttering between them.
Yellow Roses are not a choice many make everyone is stuck on Red, I always have to go my own way and Butterflies are delicate, they start off as not so pretty and break out into this beautiful free spirit.
Rare choices and growth...that is that story.

My 2nd and 3rd Tattoos came in 2007, after I returned from P.R. from visiting my friend Cynthia in the hospital. My visit with her and the reason and circumstances that bought me there changed many things in my life from my beliefs to my daily living actions and emotions.
I got a heart on my left hand wrist that is shaded starting in black at the tip and grows lighter as it expands.
It is to some a Black heart, to me it is a reminder to be loving but be guarded not everyone deserve your love so freely.
I have on the back of my neck the word BROKEN. The font and placement I chose were deliberate, it is a very strong word and one that has caused many NOT me, mixed emotions. I hear many jokes like "who broke you?" or "oh your broken?, how can I fix you?" It lets me know how closed minded many are and how very few people are mindful of words, their meanings, their power, their purpose.
I love this piece, I am so proud of it because I don't see a negative I see growth, experience, openness and life.

My 4th and 5th Tattoos I got in 2012, after a bump on the road changed the course of my life's journey.
On my right foot I got a symbol of the Sun with my daughter's initial E.
She is my sunshine, she is my pride and joy. She is the best part of me and one of the main purposes of me being on this earth. When I put my best foot forward I put my right foot so that is why she has that placement. She is always my inspiration to do my best and even when I don't that I am still loved.
On my right forearm I have an Hourglass with wings.
Time is precious, time is valuable, time is priceless. Once it is gone you can never get it back. Be mindful and respectful of time.

These pieces are an extension of me of who I am, of my life's journey. They are an artistic expression, a creative outlook on all of what life has taught me and of the growth I have experienced.
They are not low class or trashy or mistakes or picked out on a whim. They have been researched, drawn by friends, discussed and thought of thoroughly.

I am not the first and I won't be the last. I shared this because I have found that many people just need to start a conversation. To learn and to be open. Those old school thoughts on Tattoos are ridiculous. The negative labels on people who have them no longer should hold true. All types of people use this form of expression. This is no longer just for group A or group B.

I will say I am firm believer in purpose and reason. I am not about trends or fitting in.
As a parent my daughter has always been aware of my pieces and shared in my experiences.
When she came to her own conclusion that she too loved this form of expression, I had 2 rules:
-after the age of 18. I am not signing anything to give you permission. This is a conscious choice you need to make and you should be held responsible for doing so.
-research and come to me with a clear reasoning behind your choice. If you can't articulate why you want something, then it is not going on your body.

This is a collage of my pieces.
I love them and have no regrets.

As parents it is always important to be true to ourselves. To keep our own identities and not allow it to become just mom or just dad.
Why would we want to loose who we were before our children came into our lives?
Shouldn't they be additions to our all ready greatness?
Why would I stop being a creative and free spirit, if I did so then how could I teach my daughter to embrace these qualities in herself?

Freedom of expression and creativity come in many forms. If we don't really understand something then let's talk about it. Communication.
I wouldn't want my daughter to go behind my back and mark her body just because I wasn't open to a respectful discussion.
I have run into a few kids that have and the results weren't so great. Kids today express themselves in many ways from clothing to hair to piercings to Tattoos. It is really not a big deal. Pick your battles, set some guidelines and let them be.

Always stress free xo

Sweet Innocence

Throwback Thursday!!!

Challenge #9 of the September Sapphire Even Day Blog Challenge with Kimberly from beingawordsmith.com.

I was asked to pick a picture and tell you all about it.

I picked this picture because I love that face.
That innocent no care in the world I am the s*** look on my face. Its not the perfect background or pose but its real and in the moment.

It was taken in the elevator of a building on 34th street in NYC, on a school day and we were cutting class.
I believe my girlfriend Cynthia took this picture.
We were seniors in H.S.
I was wearing my favorite color Red! It was a sweatshirt from my high school, Fashion Industries it was 1989 and I had on my door knockers and triple goose long trench coat which was the style then.
I had worked very hard to buy that coat so I took pride in wearing it.
I also carried which you can't see my portfolio with all my designs in them.

What I remember about this day is laughter and food.
Whenever we would cut class it was to go eat and go take a nap in Cynthia's house.
On this day we chose to go to Midtown because Lisette, another friend of ours had to go to Macy's to pick up something first. So we headed there, hit a few stores, goofed around, took pics then left to go eat and sleep.

Whenever I see this picture I smile. I feel I carry that young lady with me every day. I never feel she is gone or was tainted by life in any way. She was a dreamer, she was a fighter, she was very stubborn, she was determined, she was full of love she was and still is ME. Just a bit older, a lot wiser and less stubborn.

Innocence is priceless we should always hold on to a piece of that.
Always stress free xo

Back to School Conversations

Another school year is upon us.

Some of us will be letting go of our babies for the very first time, some of us will be advancing to another grade in our journeys and some of us will be crossing major milestones.
Whichever step it is we are in, they are life changers for all involved, they are character builders and a time for our parenting skills to be tested.

As I sit and talk with my own daughter and as I interact with the other babies in my life I started to think about what sort of conversations should we as parents be having in general but especially around this time of year.
I say I have many babies because not only do I have one biological daughter but many of her own friends and my own friends kids treat and see me as a second mommy.

My tool for building this trust as I always share is communication. I am a talker and I do know how to listen as if I was at their level. I still haven't forgotten I was younger once too.

So...what should we be saying this lovely start of a new school year?

These are the conversation topics I came up with:

~Mommy and Daddy are very proud of you. You are growing up and we are excited to support you in this new adventure. We will always be here for you and you are enough just the way you are.
~Not everyone will be your friend but that is ok because you should always surround yourself with people who will be nice, kind and helpful.
~Mommy (or Daddy) won't forget to pick you up, I will be right outside that door when the bell rings.
~Never be afraid to stand up for what is right, if you are uncomfortable about something speak up. Even teachers should be questioned. We are here to protect you and stand up for you always.
~No one has the right to touch you...EVER.
~Being part of the "crowd" is not your goal. Your goal is to be a leader in your own right. You are worthy of that respect.
~Being a leader does not mean be a bully. It means to learn to work with others while being true to yourself.
~Please and Thank You can go a long way.
~It's ok to cry if you get hurt or are upset about something in school. But it is very important to learn to explain and express yourself with words. Mommy and or your teacher can't understand you if you are screaming.
~Remember to ask to go to the Potty. You wouldn't want to have an accident in school but if you do we will get through it. Have change of clothes in the little ones bag...Always.
~Remember that you are a reflection of me, of us and our home so I expect you to behave accordingly.
~Don't be afraid to try new things. A new sport, a new club, talk to a new student etc...Test yourself and see what you are made of.
~This is what I expect from you this school year...be clear on your expectations and be fair. Set the rules and watch them put things into play. If they fail punish accordingly but with love and always open communication.
~A new school can be scary yes and making new friends can be too but this is a great time for you to expand your wings and add new people to your circle.
~Be clear on your definitions of Boyfriend and Girlfriend. Trust it is not the same as our kids.
~Tweak your curfew times with age as well as chores and your conversation topics should be expanding as well.
~I am here to support you I am not here to do things for you. Stay on top of your homework and other social activities.
~If you can't find balance between school and social then your social will have to be put on hold.
~Cellphones, cars, sleepovers and so forth are privileges. They can and will be taken away if rules are not followed.
~Let's be clear on our rules. They will not be changed on the spot. So if I said no makeup until your 16 I mean and meant it. Don't ask me again.
~High School and College prep are your responsibilities, plan out what it will require and you will be assisted accordingly. Set a budget for school tours, exam fees etc...
~I am your parent. I don't care what so and so parents do in their home. Don't ever compare us or disrespect us.

I can go on and on but these can surely start you talking. Lastly but not at all less important or valid is...
~Have fun!!! Don't sweat the small stuff you are only this young once. Have an awesome school year!!!

What are some of your school year conversation topics? Do you have any specific ones or do you wing it as things come along?

Always stress free xo

Bad Parenting

There I said it.

Most people think it, we all have seen it and now I will comment on it.

Granted there are endless methods of parenting and really who is to say which is best, what is right or wrong but I believe we can all agree that certain things are just not a good idea.

Nothing good can come from:
-over indulgence
-lack of stability
-no set of rules
-lack of consequences
-no sense of responsibility
-lack of compassion
-sense of entitlement
-not being taught how to give back
-lack of manners

These are my thoughts, what do you think? Are any of the things listed above actually positive and can be considered a benefit? Can they work in a Parenting sense? Will they allow for a stress free family life?

Always stress free xo

Hair Hair Hair

Three people inspired me to touch this subject.
-Blue Ivy
-The lovely Courtney Conover over @thebrowngirlwithlonghair.com
-The cheerful Jennifer Borget over @babymakingmachine.com

We all have hair issues some more than others and some more extreme than others.

Women especially seem to be hit with the most criticism and it comes from other women!

The Catty disease I call it.
Where instead of building each other up we tear each other into shreds till we fall to the ground.

Just for clarity purposes I will point out three things.
-I am Hispanic / Latina
-I have an abundance (thank you up above) of hair
-My hair is black, thick and curly

As a child I recall many days of  "bad" hair days. When you have hair such as mine it does not take just a few minutes to do and walk out the door.
I remember many days of pony tails and crying when I washed my hair.
I remember in my early teens, hitting myself in the head (yes I know, what!?) with the hair brush because my hair wouldn't behave.

It didn't help that my mother didn't look for better ways to deal with my texture. I mean her idea of dealing was taking me to the Salon / Beauty Parlor and having the lady either put some straightening treatments or having them put these hugh rollers in my hair that when I got out the dryer my hair needed it's own space. It was so high up and bouncy I didn't even want to walk outside.

By the time H.S. came along I was better able to handle my own hair styling. It still could have used some work but it was much better for sure.
I was aware that humidity was my enemy.
I was aware that during the warm months I must keep all styles to bare minimum.
I was aware that rubber bands, head bands and gels were my best friend.

It also didn't help that all the models during my trying years had straight, soft, hair.
That all the products catered to White women's hair as you saw on television.
Thank god for music videos and magazines like Vanidades and Ebony. Thank god for my grandma and her Spanish channels and thank god I lived within the five boroughs of NYC where I got to experience a vast variety of women and styles.

In my early twenties I finally learned to accept that yes my hair texture was different but not bad.
That there were many women who actually envied and did things to their hair to make it look like mine.
That I had to go to places and people who knew how to deal with my hair so I wouldn't hear stupid comments like "oh my god you have so much hair" um yes I do and thank you!!!
That yes I have to work and do certain things differently to my hair that other women may not, but that it's ok and that it's the right thing to do for me.

When I had my daughter I never once gave it a second thought on how to handle her hair.
I knew better, I used better tools and I had experience.
Though my daughter's hair is of a different texture, because her daddy's hair was different than mine she was blessed with the best from both of us. Trust when I say my daughter has a lot of hair.

I took my time with her. I allowed myself extra hair time in the mornings. I bought all sorts of pins and ties for her. I gave her hair treatments ( natural ones) once a month. During the warm months we did bare minimum and away from the face.
No alcohol based products so we could avoid damage and dryness.

Throughout my thirties I allowed my hair to grow long. I followed all my rules and I enjoyed a great happy run. I had the Rachel, I had all the great long hair styles the celebrities sported.
Then a few years back I got bored. I got tired of the weight, of the responsibility it took to maintain the look and the effort it took so it could look like it took no effort at all.
I wanted a change but wasn't sure of what to do.
Then I saw Hillary Swank on Oprah cutting off all her hair and donating it!

I had found the answer I was looking for! What a great way to make a change and help someone else all at the same time.

I looked up Locks of Love (locksoflove), an organization that uses your donations to provide wigs for children dealing with hair loss issues. The information was great, I loved what they stood for and since I had lost my friend Cynthia to a type of Cancer I felt she would be proud of me as well. She was another one with a Lion's mane of hair till she got sick.

One of the requirements is 10 inches long or more. That was easy for me, my hair was waistline length just the right order.
I went to their website signed up, got the tools in the mail and off to chopville I went.
I took my daughter with me as moral support and told no one about what I was about to do.

When I got there and told my stylist my intentions her eyes opened up so wide I thought I was looking at a cartoon.
The word spread quickly and everyone was shocked and gasping. "OMG, why would you want to do that?" "Wow, I would never cut my hair" "What will your husband say?" "Are you crazy?" etc...etc...
Are you serious? All that because of some hair? It's only hair!!!
It will grow back.

Needless to say, hair was chopped off to a little above shoulders and has been chopped off even more after. I felt such a relief and so proud of myself.
Women should not be defined by their hair or any other part or thing on their bodies!!!
Let's learn to work with what we have and enjoy what we were given.

The harsh comments about Blue Ivy were eye opening to me. The judgment on a child's natural hair and the opinions shared? Unbelievable.
My lovely Courtney's hair dilemma shares one being on her son taking swimming lessons and my cheerful Jennifer for wanting to leave her sons hair alone made me stop and recall my own hair journey.
Thank you for inspiring me to share my own road block and how I jumped right over it ❤️❤️❤️

-Courtney Conover @thebrowngirlwithlonghair.com
the-video-diaries-operation-naturally
curly-hair-could-ishould-i

-Jennifer Borget @babymakingmachine.com
cutting-sons-hair
hair-decisions

I'm including links to both ladies so you can visit with them as well and I am including pics and link to Locks so perhaps if you have been debating getting a new look this can be a push to take the leap!
Options Options Options!!!

Always stress free xo

Happy Easter

Keeping things light...

Today means many things to many people remembrance, celebration, observation, reflection and so forth.

With respect to all that and more since I did grow up with many religious influences, I want to share another great reason this day means so much to me.

Easter Sunday never falls on the same date but obviously on the same day of the week every year.

Nineteen (19) years ago on an Easter Sunday the love of my life was born. Guess that was my special treat!

Every year from that moment on I buy her a new bunny and some sweets. If you read my post "Oops, did I Create that?" picture nineteen (19) years worth of stuffed bunny animals. I didn't take them all down from their current storage spot because it was just too much to work with lol.

I will share the latest addition(s) to the family and a throwback picture of my lil mama dressed in observation of her special day. The new addition smells like actual chocolate!!!!

I will share that if I had to bring a deeper meaning to this day, more than the birth of my child (if anything could be deeper than that) it would be a celebration of life. Things and people die, bring about change and regrowth and with that we go and move forward to carry the lessons they left behind.

I take today to do all that and more with those that I hold dear to my heart.

Have a blessed day! Moderation on the sweets, be mindful, be loving always....stress free.

Who is really paying attention?

I will try to keep my uneasiness in check.

A few weeks ago while having breakfast my daughter and I heard a news report about the changes to the SAT's coming 2016.

I will say that my daughter is very vocal about the United States as it is but when I tell you she jumped off her seat and was yelling at the television, I am still not doing her reaction justice. Nor am I when I say that I was in sheer disbelief about what I was hearing as well.

My first thought was..."so we are dumbing down the test, instead of  restructuring our educational system so that the kids are learning more and perhaps better and are much better equipped to take these test".
Then my daughter chimed in and commented on the changes to essay and vocabulary. Stating that as is kids are not using their writing and vocabulary skills to full potential.

As a parent of a child that has been fortunate enough to have be exposed to some amazing teachers throughout her school years and to have had the opportunity to attend regular public school, charter school, magnet school and specialized High School at different points in her academic life I have to say that our education system as a whole SUCKS.

I have experienced a variety of teaching styles, school environments and system expectations as a whole and I will say that if you are not a parent that speaks up on your child's behalf, if you are not on top of your child's education and if you do not instill in your child the love and respect for learning and when to speak up when they feel they are being short changed, then your child will surely fall through the cracks and be on the road to failure.

Gone are the days of teacher knows best, if you are lucky that teacher is there because they want to make a differance in children's lives and have a part in building a better, stronger future not because they belong to a Union and get summers off.

This is not to say that there are not some wonderful teachers because there are but we also have to accept that our system has some pretty rotten ones as well. Also that our system does not help those wonderful teachers do their jobs and have support when needed.

Our educational system ranks indicate that, our graduation rates indicate that, our Science, Math and English rankings indicate that.

So if we adjust current testing style or styles because SAT's are not our only testing system, what else would be or should be adjusted?
Is it that we do not expect or should not expect our children to be fully capable to compete with other countries?

I live in New York City where some have issues with Charter school system when they clearly see amazing results simply because it is not part of the New York City Board of Education. I say if something is working let's have more of it and if what we already have isn't then let's break it down and rebuild again.

Our children really are our future, they are an investment in our future care system, security system, educational system so why not prepare them well so that we can be in good hands?
How can we be or truly become an amazing United States of America if some of our kids can't even read a book and summarize the content properly?

I am including some links for added info, tell me what you think. Always about starting a conversation, passionate about stress free living.

rankingamerica.wordpress.com
cnycentral.com
greatschools.org

cnn.com
collegeboard.org
usnews.com
nytimes.com

Shattered Images

One of the things that come along with the package of parenting is the handling of disappointment.

Life brings us many, some more than others but I am referring to events or people that disappoint our children.

The sooner in our parenting journey we accept we CAN NOT protect our children from everything, the sooner we will invest that energy instead on how to show support and love when those moments do come.

No matter what age or gender at some point your child will be disappointed by someone or something. The something can be handled much quicker and more easily, but the SOMEONE...not so much.

It's only as we grow that we realize no one is perfect. It's only as we grow that we can either accept people for who they are or walk away. Children, Toddlers and Babies can't understand the concept of acceptance or walking away until they are much older. Therefore it is our responsibility to help them as they grow to understand failure, humanity, humility, respect, acceptance and peace.

Failure-sometimes people try to do their best, but their best isn't good enough.
Humanity-to be human is to act at times in ways that are hurtful and selfish and we must be aware that it may not have anything to do with us, but instead with the way that other person views themselves.
Humility-not many people are carriers of this trait and we must not allow their boisterous actions to extinguish our flame.
Respect-is earned, never just given, demanded or assumed.
Acceptance-sometimes people are just not as invested in you or your well being as you may be in them. Once you become aware of that your options are greater and the hurt becomes less.
Peace-when you take the time to gather all the information, put all the pieces together and come away with clarity you will have gained the peace to move forward and away from that which hurt and or disappointed you.

It will never be easy to see our children in discomfort but it will surely be worse if they are not prepared for it. Life sometimes brings lessons we wish we never had to learn. Shattered images of those we hold dear is one such lesson.

No such thing as perfection, don't put people up on a pedestal and sometimes there are just people out there that are not very nice.

So, as we accept we can't provide protection from all let's start getting ready to hold those hands, provide a shoulder, lend an ear, give plenty of hugs and kisses and tell them how much we love them and are blessed to have them in our lives.

Little hands in the Kitchen

I love food.

Breakfast Lunch or Dinner. Snacks in between you name it I am all for it.

I love it even more when it is made by someone else and all I have to do is sit down and enjoy.

This got me thinking about how I was so over the top when it came to no patience in the kitchen.
When my daughter was younger I never allowed her in the kitchen for too long a period, especially when I was cooking. This went for my nieces and nephews as well. I didn't want to deal with the clean up if they got into anything.

This extreme control may have backfired now because none of my little ones which are all grown up, know how to do much of anything in the kitchen.

I don't want anyone to repeat my mistake so in this post I am sharing links to sites that encourage kids in the kitchen along with recipes and tools for small hands. Perhaps this post can help the next mom or dad get some help in the kitchen and actually enjoy a little mess.

Happy bonding time in the kitchen wink wink!!!

This site has some great tools and kits really adorable!!!
curiouschef.com

These have recipes
marthastewart.com

delish.com

pinterest.com

simplebites.net

kidspot.com.au

realsimple.com

kraftrecipes.com

parentables.howstuffworks.com

babble.com

countryliving.com

Fathers and Daughters

I am my father's only daughter. I have three brothers. My father tried to teach his very stubborn daughter to take things easy and to be nice and respectful and to listen.

My father tried to teach his very stubborn daughter patience. My father tried to teach his very stubborn daughter that her mom was just trying to do her best.

Looking back now it must have been a very difficult thing to do when you are dealing with a teenager that thinks they know it all. It could not have been easy for him to try to get through to me but he never stopped.

I have my father's complexion, his smile, his hair and when I stop and look at times even his mannerisms.
It is so funny how true the comments about Mothers and Sons and Fathers and Daughters can be.

Today I appreciate his words and his time and his smile. Today I appreciate all those great meals he cooked for me and all those great breakfast drinks he use to make from fresh fruits. Today I appreciate all those great talks, while I sat around and visited with him at his job.

In my home there is a phrase and its called "being a Fermin". It is my ex's family name. It is used whenever a gesture, action, comment or approach is taken. It has been said for the past almost nineteen (19) years. My daughter is her father's child in every sense of the word.
From the tips of her toes to the top of her head. From her words, to her interest, to her approach on life.

The reality of it is I wouldn't have it any other way because "being a Fermin" is pretty darn great!!

For all of us who have had great father moments and have great father memories, this is a sweet post.
For those of us who have not it can be sad or upsetting. I don't want it to be just one or the other. I want it to be a chance to perhaps build these moments with that special man whom you have always admired, whom you have fallen in love with and envision having children with if this is your second time around or have your significant other already be building these moments or bring it to his attention.
Remember, family is what you make it. It is not always about blood relation.

Sometimes not enough praise is expressed when it comes to fathers. I know quite a few who are doing amazing jobs with their girls and their boys. Whether single, separated, married, or divorced I appreciate the awesome things they do every day.

So here is a Thank You to you! Hope you enjoy xoxo

http://www.fromdatestodiapers.com/50-rules-for-dads-of-daughters

Stop pointing your finger

This is not an easy subject to tackle or even one that many like to touch upon or discuss.

As always I never shy away from real life or from any opportunity to have a teaching moment with my daughter.
She is close to turning nineteen (19) years old now and entering a new stage in her life. We have been blessed to have always been able to discuss any and all topics, nothing is off limits...nothing. As I have shared in the past I never set a specific age or time to discuss any particular matter. We just talked as things came up. That was something her father and I believed in strongly from day one.

This particular subject is nothing we haven't discussed in the past either because it came up in our lives through family or friends or because we or she saw or heard something in regards to it via television or other form of media.

The subject matter is Cheating.

I am going to start this by saying ...No one can wreck something that isn't already Broken.
No one comes in and wrecks anything that already didn't have cracks.
With that you can chose to continue to read or delete this post all together.

Ok so if you are still here and I have your attention, let us talk for a moment.
Some time ago while having breakfast, my daughter and I sat and watched a segment on Good Morning America that had women on discussing a website dedicated to so called exposing women who engage in cheating.

It's a site where wives blast the so called other women, who destroyed their home. Really?
So let me see, your house was running just fine. You and your significant other had this amazing connection. The kids are doing well, work and the house are in order, your sex life is for filling.You help one another be the best version of yourselves and instill that in your family. Your communication skills were on point, your goals were clear and being met and you were peaceful in your spirit.
You invested a significant amount of time with one another outside of the children, you led fulfilling lives outside of one another, you were supportive and respectful and so called best friends. Then one day your wonderful husband ran into this "other woman" and she just "took" him away? You don't know how, heck he doesn't even know but just like that she snatched your "prize" up.

Seriously, there is something very wrong with your story.

First things first, women need to stop blaming the other woman and hold their partners accountable.
Women need to stop being so catty.
Second, women need to have a little bit more self worth, respect and value.
Fighting for a man? Blaming someone else, taking him back and then blasting your business on a website?

This is not about making excuses or condoning poor behavior. This is about accountability. It is about more than just one thing or one person. Doing that would just be taking the easy way out. It would be hypocritical to assign ourselves judge and jury of someone else's personal life and home.

Relationships are very complicated and breakdowns begin to happen for many reasons. It would be a shame for me to teach my daughter to blame others when things go wrong. It would be poor of me to teach my daughter also to stick around when things are just not working.
Everyone deserves respect, support and love.

If in your relationship you are no longer connected, your goals are no longer the same and your emotions are more lows than highs...it is time for a conversation. Don't allow what began as a fairy tale (what some women dream of) to end in a horror show.

I have personal experience in knowing when it is time to let go. I can say I am grateful it was not connected to cheating but it was connected to being disconnected.
I ended my relationship with my daughter's father after eighteen (18) years. It was sad, it was surreal, it was an adjustment but it was what I knew was the right thing to do. I loved him enough not to ever disrespect our union, our family, our daughter. We ended peacefully and lovingly.
My daughter has amazing memories of a life lived with two (2) parents that truly loved and respected one another till the end.

That is what we discuss, that is what I have taught and continue to teach.

Build a strong relation, respectful, supportive, kind and full of communication. Be true to yourself at all times. Never engage in disrespectful behavior to get your so called point across. Be accountable at all cost.
When something no longer works its time to close that door and open a new one.

Let's start a conversation always three sides to every story his, hers and the truth.

“Stop pointing fingers and placing blame on others. Your life can only change to the degree that you accept responsibility for it.” Steve Maraboli

Chaos met Zen

I want that toy and I want it now. Is the loose translation of a screaming child's thoughts at a toy store.

No sweetheart you can't have that toy at this moment. I understand you WANT it but no.

This ice cream is so yummy I'm going to stuff spoonful after spoonful in my mouth because it's so good and I WANT it.

Honey, slow down. Taste the ice cream, enjoy it. If you just take spoonful after spoonful you won't get your fill and you will miss the joy of its flavor. Slow down.

I am the fastest runner in this playground. I can beat any of these other kids in any race. Watch how fast I can run. Few minutes later he ran so fast he tripped and fell.

Oh darling I told you not to run so fast. I know you have great speed but you do not have to prove it to others all the time.

May you be Happy
May you be Healthy
May you be Peaceful
May you live with Ease

Stress free

Chaos met Zen

Back to school...Redefined

My Lilmama (my daughter) is in college now. On Tuesday she returned to school and began her second (2) semester.

This was our Monday night...
Me- Your all set for tomorrow?
LM- Yeah, I just need to get few pencils, a pen and some new notebooks packed in my bag.
Me- Oh ok, you need anything else? You looking forward to new classes?
LM- No mama, I don't need anything else thanks I'm good. Yeah I love my schedule can't wait to check out my classes. Plus I have a class with Sonny can't wait for that (her new friend in college).
Me- Great ok glad to hear. Don't forget to set your alarm clock tonight.
LM- Ok I won't.
A few hours later I tuck her into bed (yes I still do that), we chat for a few I wish her sweet dreams and kiss her goodnight.

Tuesday morning...
LM- Ok I'm leaving now.
Me- Did you have breakfast?
LM- Yes I did, I'm good to go
Me- Ok lilmama, have great day be safe have fun. Make sure your bundled up and say hi to Sonny for me.
LM- Ok I will
Kisses and hugs and she was off to school. I stayed behind and got ready for work.

Tuesday night...
I got home after five (5), lilmama was already home. I got settled and then started to prepare dinner.
In the kitchen...
LM- So how was your day?
Me- Good, the usual. The office was quiet, caught up on some stuff. How about you, how was your first day back?
LM- Oh ok, glad you got caught up. Well my day was great. Sonny is good, everyone is good. My classes are fab, my teachers are good. I have one quirky teacher but he is great.

The next hour was full of details on her classes, what subject matters they were going to be touching, what she hoped to take away from each class, what other activities she may get into. I listened enthusiastically, commented, questioned and laughed. I was happy that she was happy.

In the end I commented...
Lilmama you shared your whole day with me without me having to really ask, so many parents wish they had what we just had and she said...
Well perhaps if they didn't attack the kid at the door, as they walked in and made them feel comfortable to share, they too could have the same. No one likes a hoverer.

I sometimes think back to her younger back to school day experiences, the school supplies shopping, the clothes shopping, the new challenges, the increase in responsibilities, the getting her book bag ready, the setting of the alarm, the adjusting of our daily lives to accommodate one another and I say out loud...thank heavens we survived all that. Glad you don't need me to help you as much any more and we both laugh.

Happy back to school, lilmama xoxo

Then

Now

Cynthia

In her transition I learned how to live.

This post is in honor of one of the strongest females I have ever known. She was by far someone I was learning from in our union but didn't really know it until she was gone.

This is my friend, my sister, my inspiration and my motivation. She was the end for my new beginning.

Meet Cynthia, we were friends since the second grade. We couldn't be more different yet somehow it worked. She was Puerto Rican I am Dominican. She was light skin, short with Hazel eyes, I am slightly taller, dark Brown eyes and caramel skin . She was an A student all the time, I coasted on B's mostly and sprinkled an A here and there if I liked the teacher and the class. She hardly spoke Spanish, I don't ever recall not knowing anything but both English and Spanish. She loved to cook, I love to eat. She wasn't very friendly off the bat, first impressions were her thing and if you didn't meet her standards you were left out of the loop, I am very friendly, very chatty, very guarded yet open I am ok with flaws. She was not into showing affection, being as she called too clingy with her loved ones but if she loved you , you somehow knew it, I am all about showing affection and being clingy (in a good way) and I am very vocal and expressive in my love.

These are just a few of the many many things we were just not on the same page about in our over thirty six (36) year journey together. The one thing we did agree on all the time was we always had something to say about everything.

Cynthia was always sick with one thing or another. The usual colds and stomach problems as a kid, nothing you would ever think twice about. In our H.S. years it just became worse. Days where she would have a tough time keeping anything she ate down, we would laugh about it and it became a joke. Lets see how long you last before we have to rush you to a bathroom. We picked the places we ate or the activities we did always with the thought that a bathroom had to be close by or how far we were from the house. She would comment about her bones hurting, her joints etc...we called her the old lady sometimes. If you hugged her to tight or squeezed her arms she would complain of pain. We would make jokes about how all this was going to affect her love life.

Our Senior year was the worst. Her issues became more frequent and her symptoms began to evolve. She began to get tested for all sorts of things and at one point we had possible diagnosis of Leukemia. I remember her family starting talks on possible bone marrow matches. Talking to the aunts, uncles and cousins. I remember going with her to her doctors office and sitting there as he explained the procedure. How she would have to lay face down while they inserted a needle into her bone to remove liquid so it can be tested. The side affects, the discomfort, possible results, treatments and the list went on. We both sat quietly together for the first time ever.

Well test were run, life went on we lived our daily lives and doctors said it wasn't Leukemia. We graduated, we went on to become young adults in the work force. We went from single females, to couples, to committed relationships, to motherhood. I became a mother first so that shifted our connection for a while. Sometimes your friends can't get use to you having different set of priorities once you become a parent and it can be a friendship tester.

We regrouped and came together at a point were she was now a mom herself. Aside from that, she had by now been diagnosed with Crohn's disease. This is an inflammatory bowel disease, which explained all those years of her stomach issues. It can be due to genetics, environmental or immune issues research is still not certain.
She would bruise easily as well so often you would see black and blue marks on her arms or legs and cringe because they looked so painful.

Her health was poor and our activities were limited. Even going to the park with the kids at times was a challenge. Her strength came in spurts, some days she was fast moving others she couldn't get out of bed. Thank god her partner was helpful because by then her parents had retired to Puerto Rico.

Things went on like this for a little while longer until it became apparent she was getting worse and she made the decision to move to Puerto Rico with her son. She would live with her parents until she got settled and was able to move out on her own.

That never happened she only became worse, doctors through in the mix...Cancer. I think that is what turned a switch in her mind that said "I can't do this for much longer".
Towards the end she spent most of her time in bed, she really didn't want to be seen or see anyone. We spoke on the phone daily and emailed all day long.

We spoke about different treatments and her returning back to New York but I believe she did that more for us than for herself. I believe she was tired and didn't want to live the life she was living.
Cynthia was fiercely independent, very attractive and vibrant. The fact her mother had to care for her on a daily and that she couldn't be a "mother" in the full sense of the word took its toll on her. She would cry I would cry we would cry together.

We spoke about the irony that in our teens she had once commented she would die young. That in spite of our plans to age gracefully together, me still helping her to put on her red lipstick, that plan may and would never be. We discussed forgiveness and peace and continued existence. We spoke about wishes and regrets and purpose. We laughed and loved and reminisced.

I was aware of her concerns and her wishes and I made sure to be very vocal about them to everyone involved. I was determined to show the strength she couldn't as best I could.
I promised I would do the best I could to bring her parents comfort and to keep her memory alive in her son. I promised I would always talk to him about the mother he really never got to see.

In October of 2007 I got a call from her sister that she wasn't doing very well and doctors weren't sure how much longer she could hang on. I called her up said we were coming, not to worry. Our friend Ramon and I flew down to be with her and her family. She was in the hospital. I hadn't seen my dearest friend in a while and to see her so helpless and fragile in a bed was heartbreaking but I did it. We joked immediately and hugged and I fixed her lipstick and helped her in and out of bed. At one point I took her to the bathroom and while we were in there I joked how we were still doing this after so many years.

We were there for the weekend, on the nights we'd come home from the hospital Ramon and I would sit in the porch and talk. We knew things were changing. That Sunday we visited her before we headed to the airport. She was barely awake but she knew we were there. We hugged, kissed, laughed, cried.
As I hugged her for what would be the last time I said "I love you, everything will be ok. If you need to let go its ok. They will be fine. If you are hurting and can't take no more its ok. I love you." She said she loved me too and fell back asleep.

On the ride to the airport Ramon and I were very peaceful. As we waited to board we spoke on what this moment meant and how we didn't want to come back to bury our friend but that we knew we would. I told Ramon at that moment I would never sweat the small stuff ever again. I would live my life.

We returned to NYC two (2) very different people than the ones who had left.

On the morning of January 31st, 2008 I spoke to my friend, she could barely speak, her voice was faint and she sounded tired. I asked her if she wasn't feeling well she said yes. Her mom got on the phone and said they were calling an ambulance and taking her back to the hospital. I said ok and asked her to put the phone next to Cynthia, then I said I love you its ok, everything will be ok.
As I hung up I knew that would be the last I spoke to my friend.

She made her transition on the way to the hospital. Her sister called me later in the afternoon, I made some calls. Booked the flights for Ramon and myself, drove my daughter to my mother's came back home packed a small over night bag.
Next morning in slow motion we moved, I changed into my funeral clothing in the airport bathroom.
We got to the funeral parlor and immediately I was complaining about everything. Nothing was as she would have wanted but it was what it was.

We drove in the procession but I don't remember anything except anger at her wishes not being met, especially fact they did not use red lipstick.
I watched the white casket being lowered, her son drop a rose, then men making adjustments because she was being placed in family plot so they had to seal her in with cement blocks. I looked on with very little tears. This was a movie, for sure.

We came home the next day. Life went on. I wrapped up my relationship after eighteen (18) years together. Knowing we weren't living true to ourselves. We weren't growing and that was not acceptable to me, anymore.
I started at zero. I began to live.

Mourning the loss of someone or something comes in different stages and you don't know or even can imagine what loss feels like until you have experienced it. Trust me, period. Saying oh I can imagine it, doesn't cut it.

I didn't cry for Cynthia until September 5th, 2008 as I watched Sheryl Crow sing in the Stand up for Cancer special. My daughter sat next to me as I cried a river of tears, felt like never ending. I couldn't catch my breathe I couldn't move, I just cried. My friend, my sister, the strongest woman I knew was really gone. I would never hear her voice again. She would never call me Moon face, again. She would never wear red lipstick, again.

I don't want to sit in the sadness of my loss. She would be very upset at me and let me know it too. I speak to her all the time and these past six (6) years have been amazing for me. Full of love, growth, blessings, loss, fearlessness, lessons and Living.

I love you Cyn, thank you for all you added to my life and my journey. Thank you for the laughs, all those great meals, the decorating ideas, all the boy talks, all the hugs and kisses. Thanks for christening my baby girl, your apple head. We love you and miss you and Live our lives in honor of you.