Change Direction

I care too much to stay the same.

You care too little you just want to place blame.

Going around in circles repeating the same things.

Nothing ever changes, do you think talking makes things happen faster? 

Do you feel the need to say things to keep our hopes up?

Tick Tock Tick Tock the clock keeps ticking.

Reminding me of what is passing me by, reminding me not to let my dreams die.

Tick Tock Tick Tock the clock keeps ticking.

Hey! are you done waiting yet? What are you even waiting for?

Do you think your special? Do you think words just make things happen?

Don't you ever feel the need to scream

I WANT TO BE FREE!

I care too much to stay the same.

Live life till you Die 

illustration by pinterst.com

Always stress free xo,

Mari

Fifty Shades of Gray

Today I thought of you and most of the memories were happy ones. All the firsts I had with you, all the plans shared, all the goofy moments, all the inside jokes, even the tears shared when we realized our commonalities about our family history. Happy memories indeed.

Then...then I thought of our differences and just how strong those differences were and just how strong you were in holding on to your beliefs, so strong that you just up and walked away.

Then...then I thought about our last meet, all the things I wanted to say how many times I rehearsed what I thought would help us get back on the road...together. How nervous I was, how my stomach was like a roller coaster, how I stood in front of that mirror looking at my "outfit". How I walked to my car taking deep breaths like the air was about to finish, how I drove on instinct and got there so early I had to park and just let the time pass till our set date. You had allocated just "an hour" because you had other things to do and I was so grateful.

Then...then I thought about when I saw you walk out that building, a building I had stood in front of so many times and then I looked at your face and the person looking back at me was different.

illustration by pixteller.com

Today I thought about you and the moment in which you said "things are either black or white". "You either are one way or the other, its that simple."

But they aren't. You were wrong and it took me learning how to have true empathy to see that.

At the core we set standards, guidelines and expectations but as we flow, learn and grow we can choose to make adjustments to that core. Choose to make adjustments so that our foundation can hold us both as we are growing into our best self. Choose to grow in a continued direction of love and support or choose to grow in distance and unfamiliarity.

Fifty Shades of Gray a wonderful and freeing path to walk on. A path I walk every day and a path I choose to walk on every time I connect with someone new. Every time I speak about my expectations, my guidelines and my standards. 

Today I thought of you, I smiled and I thanked you for putting me on this great path with all these beautiful shades of Gray.

And here's a little gift from me to you The Good news about Feeling Bad

Always stress free xo,

Mari

Dear Love,

Dear Love,
   I wanted to tell you how much you mean to me every day and how much I appreciate having you in my life. Today of all days though I feel extra special and I owe it all to you.

I woke up with a sense of peace and gratitude only you can bring me. I woke up with a sense of purpose and pride only you have taught me. I woke up with only you on my mind because you make my heart smile so wide.

You taught me how to see the good in my worst times. You taught me how to learn from my mistakes. You took the time and made the efforts to heal my soul. You look at me and see Love look at you back.

illustration by zaratops.deviantart.com

Having you in my life has allowed me to continue to grow and to not let my short comings be my only offerings in life. You have made me see that anything is possible with nourishment and kindness. You have allowed me to remain flexible yet strong in the toughest of storms. In moments when I feel I stand alone, I close my eyes and you are there.

You have bought amazing people into my life who have given me so much but you have also taken away some I'd thought would be around forever. I realize now that even those times you were showing me love.

Dear Love,
   Thank you for existing as one of the many emotions I feel but the one that I lean on the most.

Always stress free xo
Mari

Collector of Beautiful things

I'm a collector of Beautiful things. 

Soft and fluffy, plush and bright suck me in. 

Vibrant colors all the shades make me smile

like a child who sees a rainbow makes my heart go wild.

The details in the package, the care and strategic placement delivery is always key.

I'm a sucker for presentation but that's how it should be.

I'm a collector of Beautiful things.
Books, letters, cards and quotes. Words that inspire and bring about growth.
Expressed thoughts that provoke conversation and expand our world
letters coming together to form words that encourage Love.

I'm a collector of Beautiful things.
People who give more than they take.
Who spread seeds of joy and laughter who leave you inspired and uplifted.
Their absence is felt the moment they leave the room.

I'm a collector of Beautiful things.

Always stress free xo

Mari 

Hair Hair Hair

Three people inspired me to touch this subject.
-Blue Ivy
-The lovely Courtney Conover over @thebrowngirlwithlonghair.com
-The cheerful Jennifer Borget over @babymakingmachine.com

We all have hair issues some more than others and some more extreme than others.

Women especially seem to be hit with the most criticism and it comes from other women!

The Catty disease I call it.
Where instead of building each other up we tear each other into shreds till we fall to the ground.

Just for clarity purposes I will point out three things.
-I am Hispanic / Latina
-I have an abundance (thank you up above) of hair
-My hair is black, thick and curly

As a child I recall many days of  "bad" hair days. When you have hair such as mine it does not take just a few minutes to do and walk out the door.
I remember many days of pony tails and crying when I washed my hair.
I remember in my early teens, hitting myself in the head (yes I know, what!?) with the hair brush because my hair wouldn't behave.

It didn't help that my mother didn't look for better ways to deal with my texture. I mean her idea of dealing was taking me to the Salon / Beauty Parlor and having the lady either put some straightening treatments or having them put these hugh rollers in my hair that when I got out the dryer my hair needed it's own space. It was so high up and bouncy I didn't even want to walk outside.

By the time H.S. came along I was better able to handle my own hair styling. It still could have used some work but it was much better for sure.
I was aware that humidity was my enemy.
I was aware that during the warm months I must keep all styles to bare minimum.
I was aware that rubber bands, head bands and gels were my best friend.

It also didn't help that all the models during my trying years had straight, soft, hair.
That all the products catered to White women's hair as you saw on television.
Thank god for music videos and magazines like Vanidades and Ebony. Thank god for my grandma and her Spanish channels and thank god I lived within the five boroughs of NYC where I got to experience a vast variety of women and styles.

In my early twenties I finally learned to accept that yes my hair texture was different but not bad.
That there were many women who actually envied and did things to their hair to make it look like mine.
That I had to go to places and people who knew how to deal with my hair so I wouldn't hear stupid comments like "oh my god you have so much hair" um yes I do and thank you!!!
That yes I have to work and do certain things differently to my hair that other women may not, but that it's ok and that it's the right thing to do for me.

When I had my daughter I never once gave it a second thought on how to handle her hair.
I knew better, I used better tools and I had experience.
Though my daughter's hair is of a different texture, because her daddy's hair was different than mine she was blessed with the best from both of us. Trust when I say my daughter has a lot of hair.

I took my time with her. I allowed myself extra hair time in the mornings. I bought all sorts of pins and ties for her. I gave her hair treatments ( natural ones) once a month. During the warm months we did bare minimum and away from the face.
No alcohol based products so we could avoid damage and dryness.

Throughout my thirties I allowed my hair to grow long. I followed all my rules and I enjoyed a great happy run. I had the Rachel, I had all the great long hair styles the celebrities sported.
Then a few years back I got bored. I got tired of the weight, of the responsibility it took to maintain the look and the effort it took so it could look like it took no effort at all.
I wanted a change but wasn't sure of what to do.
Then I saw Hillary Swank on Oprah cutting off all her hair and donating it!

I had found the answer I was looking for! What a great way to make a change and help someone else all at the same time.

I looked up Locks of Love (locksoflove), an organization that uses your donations to provide wigs for children dealing with hair loss issues. The information was great, I loved what they stood for and since I had lost my friend Cynthia to a type of Cancer I felt she would be proud of me as well. She was another one with a Lion's mane of hair till she got sick.

One of the requirements is 10 inches long or more. That was easy for me, my hair was waistline length just the right order.
I went to their website signed up, got the tools in the mail and off to chopville I went.
I took my daughter with me as moral support and told no one about what I was about to do.

When I got there and told my stylist my intentions her eyes opened up so wide I thought I was looking at a cartoon.
The word spread quickly and everyone was shocked and gasping. "OMG, why would you want to do that?" "Wow, I would never cut my hair" "What will your husband say?" "Are you crazy?" etc...etc...
Are you serious? All that because of some hair? It's only hair!!!
It will grow back.

Needless to say, hair was chopped off to a little above shoulders and has been chopped off even more after. I felt such a relief and so proud of myself.
Women should not be defined by their hair or any other part or thing on their bodies!!!
Let's learn to work with what we have and enjoy what we were given.

The harsh comments about Blue Ivy were eye opening to me. The judgment on a child's natural hair and the opinions shared? Unbelievable.
My lovely Courtney's hair dilemma shares one being on her son taking swimming lessons and my cheerful Jennifer for wanting to leave her sons hair alone made me stop and recall my own hair journey.
Thank you for inspiring me to share my own road block and how I jumped right over it ❤️❤️❤️

-Courtney Conover @thebrowngirlwithlonghair.com
the-video-diaries-operation-naturally
curly-hair-could-ishould-i

-Jennifer Borget @babymakingmachine.com
cutting-sons-hair
hair-decisions

I'm including links to both ladies so you can visit with them as well and I am including pics and link to Locks so perhaps if you have been debating getting a new look this can be a push to take the leap!
Options Options Options!!!

Always stress free xo

Forever Young

It is 9 pm and I just returned home from a visit with my grandma, had to bring her some things. As some of you may know I am the majority care giver for my 90 year old grandmother aside from her two (2) home attendants. One has been with her for over nine (9) years Monday thru Thursday, Fridays depends on availability. Saturday and Sunday attendant has been with us for about two (2) years. They are both wonderful, giving, loving women I would be lost without and my grandmother would no longer be with me if not for their service.

I have always been the biggest kid in the room, even in a room full of toddlers. I love to laugh, I love being playful and having fun. I am not a pouter or whiner or woe is me type personality.

Being involved in my grandmother’s life so deeply especially these past several years has made me appreciate my attitude even more. I appreciate memories, movement, expression and day to day just living a little more.

I mentioned memories because we have days she doesn't remember who I am and though it breaks my heart every time, my playful approach allows me to suck back the tears and keep pushing forward till something I say triggers a memory. I am blessed that she has always been a part of my life so she does recall a lot of our time together once her mind cooperates with her.

I bring this up because we as adults sometimes lose sight of our youth. We get wrapped up in daily life. Poor life choices, negative work conditions, bad relationships, poor health situations and so forth. We tend to forget to look at the positives that are happening right around us.

Life is about choices. When something isn't working change it. We don’t have to suffer, in anything we do. What we do have to do is use our options.

My grandmother’s life is a lesson to me because I don’t want to get older and not have been enjoying life. I don’t want to get older and wonder how come I didn't do. I don’t want to get older and be waiting to die.

On behave of my grandmother I will continue to laugh louder, eat smarter, play more often, love deeper and live stronger and with more passion. I will continue to appreciate the fact I always have a choice. I always have an option. I choose to be living a life that is stress free. I choose to be FOREVER YOUNG.

Btw…when I left I left her in her lounge chair laughing :)

Money can't Buy

Not everyone of course celebrates Christmas and as my daughter says it’s really just something that has become commercialized. Not many observe the true meaning of this time of year. Even more just get sucked into the quantity of presents.

Today I will share a list of gift ideas that won’t cost you a thing but will last you and the recipient a lifetime. This is my GIFT to you, stress free and priceless.

1- A walk around your favorite park taking all the sights in with deep breaths while holding hands.
2- A day of you stay in bed, or on the couch and I will take care of the rest.
3- An at home mani/pedi. There is nothing like having your hands and or feet massaged.
4- Write a short story or poem expressing the gratitude you feel for this person is in your life.
5- Find that one special song that expresses how you feel about that loved one and play it for them.
6- Sit quietly together and read your favorite passage from your favorite book. Share why it touched you so, it will shine a new light on a part of you they may not be aware of.
7- Go out and volunteer together. Make someone else happy and you will see the joy it brings you as well.
8- Have a new First time moment or activity together. By this I mean, come up with something you have always wanted to do and as of yet haven’t and make it a point of doing it together. Some examples could be:
 A snowball fight
 Whipping something up in the kitchen with just the things you already have
 Slow dance (you would be surprised how many people haven’t done that)
 Finger painting or body painting (depends on the age) 
 Take a free class together (check your local community centers)
The point is to be creative and think outside the box!!!
9- Play “did you know I?” This is something I just thought of! You and your loved one/ones pic k ten (10) things about yourselves and share it. For example: Did you know that in third grade I had to read a passage from the bible to my class during chapel time and I almost passed out. Sharing is caring!
Last idea on my share list but certainly not the least…
10- Look this person or these people in the eye and tell them what a GIFT they have been to you since they came into your life.

These gift ideas are really gender and for the most part age restriction free. They can be for your step mom or dad, your sister or best friend, your husband or your daughter.  The message is about love and connection. I started a book once I found out I was pregnant. A regular five (5) subject notebook, in it there are all sorts of things representing the last eighteen (18) years of my daughters journey and mine. I will present her with it on her nineteenth (19) birthday. That will be a priceless moment (one I will share with you). Again think outside the box.

Happy Holidays to all my fellow mommies and of course to the daddies, to those that just come and take a glance and to those that come and continue to follow. You have given me a priceless gift for which I thank you greatly and that is the gift of reading my words.
Be safe, be well, be happy, be Love!
xoxo
Mari

Your own worst Enemy

I found myself yelling at the television this morning as I was getting ready for work. My daughter and I just couldn't get the words out of our mouths fast enough. Yet another segment, depicting catty women and mothers on Good Morning America. This time the evil “mother” was Gisele Bundchen .

It always ignites something in me to see women be so hateful, bitter and mean to one another. Catty women, the one’s with the claws (their mouths) ready to tear into you every chance they can get. The ones that feel that expressing themselves in a negative fashion is the way to go and the words that come out of their mouths should be the rules that all women, all mother’s must follow.

We live in a World, let me repeat that again, we live in a World where we get paid less than our male counterparts, where freedom due to our gender sometimes is nonexistent, where our rights can be disregarded, where in certain places what we can do with our bodies is dictated, where we are told we are not complete without a man, where our lives at times have less value.

Being aware of all these obstacles, why on earth would we be so harsh amongst ourselves?

Self-esteem, as my daughter’s friend once commented in a discussion they were having, is esteem of the self, how is it that I am affecting yours?

How are the following women affecting me? Maria Yang, Lee-Ann Ellison, Caroline Berg Eriksen and Gisele Bundchen?

Why because you don’t look as they do, feel as they do and express yourself as they do you find it wrong or obnoxious? Why is it wrong of them to share as they wish what they feel is a grand accomplishment?

You want abs like these women, legs, hair or boobies? Then go and do what they do. Work your butt off and you will achieve the same. Have the life style they have and you will be just as happy and proud. If you are not willing to put in the time, effort or money…then please just try and retract your claws because that right there already makes you unattractive.

I am not a size Two, I don’t work out at a gym, I don’t diet and I eat a pint of ice cream any darn time I feel like it. What I do practice is Yoga, Pilates and Meditation. I also walk around my neighborhood park at least twice a week for about an hour and a half. I don’t eat red meat very often, I don’t eat take out or fast foods very often either. I believe in moderation and I am beautiful inside and out. How do I know that? Because I am confident in my own skin and I love who I am. I don’t strive to be anyone other than Mari Corona.

Women look within yourselves for a role model first. No one is going to make you feel anything you already don’t feel yourself. These women didn't wake up and say “oh let me hurt so and so today”, they woke up and said “wow I look good, period”. Work on why you felt such negativity when you saw those women because trust me when I say the problem isn't them, it’s You.