Have you ever tried to force something into a place? A hanger, a box, a drawer, your car even? Can you remember what happened? Did it break, did you get hurt, was it frustrating? I'm going to safely say Yes to all of the above. Did this happen to you several times before you learned your lesson or was that one time more than enough?
Today my thoughts wondered towards bending and breaking. Either we can be flexible or we can remain rigid.
illustration by 99wallpapers.xyz
Over dinner the other night a friend of mine was sharing their Face Book timeline. One I can't stand FB and two I don't like gadgets at the dinner table but I let this one slide because of a comment that was made. "Look at so and so in this picture, it almost looks staged. Look at their other pics they all look the same, the expressions don't seem genuine." As I looked through myself I had to unfortunately agree. It did seemed staged, like they were some sort of characters.
Human connections are a tricky thing you may be able to fool some half the time but you won't fool all most of the time. No matter how hard you try to fake or force something, the cracks eventually start to show up.
So remember my earlier question? Forcing things into places they don't belong? Well I have suffered from that myself a few times, literally. I've broken nails, dropped drawers, broken hangers, almost broke one of my toes all because I was forcing something that wasn't meant to fit. I've held on to people in my life that weren't able to bend so eventually we broke.
illustration by pinterest.com
My daughter and I continue to get along because I have learned how to Bend. I don't get stuck on mother label or parent role, I work at being flexible and taking every issue on its own merit. I don't lump all things together or look back at how I did things when she was younger because hello, she is now twenty years old. But because I want us to continue to grow and be close and because I love her, I Bend.
My parenting style has pretty much always been this way. I never wanted to be too much of this or that I wanted balance. I wanted communication, I wanted respect. I am all about balance.
Some parents don't know when to step in or when to pull back. They either do too much or too little but the interesting thing about that is that if we were to pay attention to our connection with our children they let us know what they need by their actions. I actually believe this can also be said about most relationships in our lives.
How can you tell what is needed?
-when you see disinterest, ask a specific question. What's wrong, isn't specific enough
-when there is lots of chatter, just listen
-when emotions are too heated, take a break
-when feelings are not being respected, no one walks away feeling loved
-when guidelines are challenged, it's time to revisit the rules
-when there is silence, it doesn't always have to be a bad thing
-when a dilemma is presented, you don't always have to provide an answer. Again, just listen
illustration by inspirationboost.com
What do you have to say? Please share your experience, have you pushed an object or an issue until you hurt yourself in the process? Have you learned to bend as you have gotten older or is it still difficult for you? How big of a role does communication play in learning how to bend? Can't wait to read your comments.
Always stress free xo