This happened to me a few nights ago as I sat with my grand mother, baby #2. I'm there a few times a week and the routine is farely the same, the only surprise is her attitude. In what reflective mindset I will find her is a role of the dice but all else is the same.
As I sat next to her and she asked if I had any children for the tenth time I answered again yes one daughter. Of course her response is well I never met her you must bring her with you next time to which I respond ok. As I ask her if she has any children and she says no I begin to point at pictures around the apartment. I tell her she has five children she laughs and says I'm crazy as she says that she takes her finger and pokes my cheek and laughs. Again she says I'm crazy and giggles.
illustration by nataliefranke.com
I say no vieja I'm not and I begin to call out the names and relation and as I'm doing this she reaches out and grabs my hand in hers, starts massaging it and is holding on with a big smile on her face. She does this often sometimes when I walk through the door or just when I'm about to leave but this particular time as I got to my mother's name and telling her our connection it felt very different.
It felt very loving and peaceful almost like she was telling me, thank you for being by my side. Thank you for not leaving me alone. Thank you for the physical love and attention.
The impact we have on others sometimes goes unnoticed. We are in a daily rush a constant count down of time. Moving from one activity to another never just embracing the moment.
Caring for someone who is aware of your efforts is one thing. You can measure the progress in many ways and the memories live on forever but caring for someone who's memories are minute to minute like my grandmother is a huge challenge. Alzheimer's disease forces you to always be creative and be creating something short lasting. The Impact has to be immediate and worth while. The impact has to stop all time.
Next time you call a friend or get together for lunch. Next time you visit your mom or dad or drop the kids off at school...stop and think. How that particular exchange is impacting their lives and if it's one that leaves an ever lasting smile in their memory.
-be in the moment
illustration by twitter.com
What do you think? Are you aware of the impact you have on your loved ones? How about strangers, do they walk away with a smile or a frown? Do you make the effort to truly connect when you engage with others? If you don't why not try it today?
Always stress free xo,