Meditation is easy...NOT

Oh I can't do that, I can't meditate. I feel so silly just sitting there with my eyes closed. Who has time to sit still? Oh that sounds so goofy, I don't want to feel like I am floating.

I have heard so many comments some with merit and some totally bizarre when I have shared my meditation practice journey. I remember when I first began to practice I couldn't wait to spread the word on how life saving it had been for me and all the benefits I was gaining with my practice. Can I just say I got a lot of rolling eyes.

I slowly learned to keep it to myself and only address it when it came up which oddly enough comes up more often than not if you are discussing trying to live stress free in New York City. Everyone always points to how rushed we are or how we don't have enough time in the day or how people just plain ole piss them off. My response...I don't feel that at all. What?! You are lying is the response I get back.

illustration by USATodaycollege

But I am not. I don't feel those things because I don't allow those negative events to take up too much space in my head or in my heart. Of course I feel something but I don't sit in that something for too long. I breathe.

There was a time when in a split second I could go from calm to chaos. One wrong word would bring a barrage of F bombs and attitude. There was just no way you were going to "get away" with disrespecting me. I am not confrontational to be clear, that is to say I will not and am not about going out looking for drama or trouble but if you bought it you best have been prepared for the outcome. I am no ones punching bag but I totally handle things differently today.

Meditation, what is it exactly? Well in summary it is a practice of calming and silencing your mind. It encourages the development of concentration and emotional positivity. With that being said let me tell you that our minds are never calm or silent.
We are constantly thinking, planning, remembering. But when you practice Meditation you learn to slow things down, acknowledge what is happening and better cope with things.

illustration by affirmyourlife

Let me share one of my sit down sessions:
I am home in front of my mantle, water fall on, cushion on the ground, legs crossed, door closed and timer set. I close my eyes take a few deep breaths and begin to clear my mind. I hear the birds, I am slowing my breaths, I hear the birds I am slowing my breaths. Out of no where this guy comes out and says "B**** I am tired of you looking through my things. Who the F*** do you think you are? I am tired of your S***." Pause...I open my eyes and think what the H***. He is having and argument over the phone standing right outside my window! I take a deeper breath close my eyes and try again. But now I'm like geez what the heck is happening in that convo now? He walked away so I have no idea. How is it going to end? OMG...endless thoughts. I say to myself "Ok, I know you are totally interested in that gossip but stop. Wish them well and lets keep going." I reset my timer, close my eyes take a couple of deep breaths and begin again. That was over four years ago but I remember it clear as day. Meditation is easy...Not.

That is real honest Meditation. Acknowledge the chaos around you but stay calm in your space.

It is never easy. I am almost five years in and still have my rough days but that is the beauty of Meditation. I am always learning always growing in my practice. I have gained more than I have lost and through difficult transitions in my life it has been this practice that has given me strength to make my messes my message.

illustration  by lovelifediy.com

There are several types of Meditation and in my journey I have tried them all at some point. The one I love the most and practice most often is Mindful Meditation. After my last breakup when all I saw was darkness it was Mantra Meditation that helped me find my way back to the light. But I stick with Mindfulness because it helps me remain aware at all times of my words, my actions, my thoughts and my purpose. I go about my daily life with the intention of doing the best I can under all circumstances. Yes even when I get cut off while driving or my daughter says something outrageous like "I hate people"(in connection with a bad day at work). Some days are better than others but doesn't that go for everything in life? Do I still curse? Of course! But less frequently and even less with no intent or necessary substance. Now when I drop an F bomb it has more of a kick to it lol.

Here's a link for those of you who may want to read up more on my share chopra.com and I will also be taking part in Deepak Chopra & Oprah's 21 Day Meditation Challenge here's the link in case you would like to get more information on it chopracentermeditation and remember it is never to late to make a change until it is.

Have any of you tried Meditation or any other tools to calm your mind and slow the fast pace lifestyle you may live or have lived in? Would love to chat on it, share your thoughts.


Always stress free xo,
Mari 

Using Sage as a Personal cleanser

illustration by quotefancy.com

Anyone who practices Yoga and Meditation can share with you how they feel everything is connected. It isn't something said just to be said but something felt because it is experienced. Practicing Mindfulness, simply just being aware and still in the moment is a wonderful healing technique if one chooses to try going the natural route as oppose to chemicals. 

In my experience I have found that learning how to soothe myself in natural ways has given me more peace of mind than popping a pill and that surrounding myself and my home with positive energy has bought me more clarity.

bundling up my dried Sage on a Saturday night

I remember as a kid my mom having a ritual she would do about once a month in our house. She would mop with just water and some bleach, she would open all our windows and she would burn some incense. Then she would bring out this bowl and burn this "thing" that looked like leaves and go all around the house with it and all over us as well. She would say some words which I can't recall but today I do know that what she was burning was Sage and what she was doing is called Smudging.

Burning Sage is an ancient ritual used in many cultures but mostly known through Native Americans. It is used as a cleansing method for a person or a space. It is what we would normally do with a bucket of water and some Pine Sol but this is more spiritual and connected to nature. I didn't connect the dots between what my mother did so many years ago and what I started doing over a year ago until I sat in front of my Meditation mantle and the memories just came to me. She was cleansing our space, from any negative energy that may have been left behind from anyone who came in our home or in contact with us at any given time. 

illustration by pinterest.com

I was proud to share this commonality with my mother. She was as I am very protective of my space. I don't invite just anyone into my home I don't care that I have known you for many years. Same goes for my daughter and her friends. Your home is sacred, it is your safe haven from the craziness of the outside world. The place in which you go for comfort and where you feel safe at all times. 

I try my best to use as many natural products as I can. For my home, my office, in my car and on myself. My daughter's friend is the one who reintroduced me to Sage and Smudging. Lil mama came home one weekend after visiting her friend in New Paltz and was sharing how she had done a Sage cleansing in her dorm room and on themselves because she felt "their energy" was off. Light bulb moment I was like Yes! we need that toooooo. I feel our space has a little cloud over it we need a cleansing too!!! Lil mama went to a natural herbs spot and bought us a few sticks. That weekend I had her do a thorough cleansing of our place and of us and immediately we felt the vibe in our space change. 

illustration by thoughtsofabuxaddict.com

I recently had a friend bring me some Sage he picked for me on a trip he took and the place he visited had an herb garden. The owner was kind enough to send me a generous amount for me to dry and prepare into sticks. I shared a picture above. 

Mindfulness is an option we all have. To be open to new things and respectful of the connection we all have to all things. Perhaps next time you go for a walk in the park, take off your shoes and walk on the grass, stand under a big tree and literally hug it. Kids do it all the time be a kid and try it. If we are all truly God's creation than that shouldn't be such a stretch to do. Connect with nature. Be in the moment, reflect what you want life to be. 

I'm not saying burning Sage is for everyone, the scent my not be your cup of tea but its an option you can learn about and try. I included some videos you can look at and see. Let me know what you think? Are there any rituals you use to clean your space and/or yourself from negative energy? 

Advice from an Elder

Always stress free xo,

Mari

Mindful moments in our Day

illustration by coeonlinetrainingcourses.com

My lovelies! How are things going today? Did you get out of bed in a rush? Did you start your day on a sprint? Mind full of things to do and worry of not enough time to do it?
I use to know that feeling until I began to practice Meditation and Yoga. I found myself going a little backwards these past two months dealing with my grandma's issues but the other night I just stopped everything I was doing went into my room, shut off the lights, sat on my floor and took some deep breaths.

illustration by blogbysuchitra.wordpress.com

I've been waking up with several to do lists from calling doctors to following up on medical supplies and to be honest I am tired. By the time I reach my office I feel like I've been up for hours. Recently I realized I can't keep going on like this because I don't know how long this journey with my grandma will be and because she is in her last stage of Alzheimers there is a lot more to come I must be ready for.

I caught an old episode of  Oprah's Super Soul Sunday in which she spoke with a man by the name of Jon Kabat-Zinn. He shared his story and how he implements a mindful morning routine. I found it to be interesting and helpful in my current situation. It helped me to remember my own practice and purpose I have set for myself .
I'm sharing it here with you in hopes that if any of you are feeling as I have been you know that there are options and you aren't alone in having a few crazy filled days.

mindful.org

illustration by girlmeetslife.com

What tools do you use to slow your pace down? How do you cope with those days that to do list seems to never end? Start a conversation.

Always stress free xo.

Kids and Meditation

More and more lately I have witnessed and felt for myself all the benefits I am reaping from my Meditation practice. Several years in I am still learning, still adjusting, still testing a variety of forms and techniques. Because it is a "practice" you are always learning and one size does not fit all.

With everything in life there are pros and cons but I have found that the pros I witness daily out weigh the cons. Just taking the time to slow myself down and take a few extra breaths when I am dealing with an uneasy matter has helped me diffuse numerous situations over the past few years.

This got me thinking about my own daughter and kids in general. Wouldn't it be great to have them practice some of these principles as well? Turns out that in certain places they are! I started my own little research and found some great stuff. I have never been a fan of "Time Out" I think it only stops the action for the moment it doesn't teach a lesson or bring forth a permanent solution. Not to mention I have to stop what I am doing to monitor you and make sure you are sitting still...No thanks.

illustration by lionsroar.com

So why not try starting today investing a few minutes in silence with our kids? Maybe before bedtime, before dinner? How about when they are in playtime and a tantrum ensues? Why not practice deep breathing while on a walk, in the park or on a car ride?

illustration by pinterest.com

I find my own lil mama in breathing practices often. While she's doing homework on her computer or just before she makes a phone call. While she is working on a painting in her room or just as she is about to answer one of my many silly questions (thanks sunshine :) xo), it is something that I have seen first hand bring a great positive change to her life.

illustration by makesnaturalsense.com

Just start with taking a deep breath. A real deep breath. I know it sounds strange but many of us don't even appreciate taking a deep breath. This will open your mind to perhaps trying other practices. I have included a few links that may help you and your little ones and not so little ones as well. What do you, would this be something you could give a try? Do you already practice some form of Meditation? Do you feel kids just are too young to try it out?

mindful.org

chopra.com

huffingtonpost

mindbodygreen.com

Always stress free xo.

Word Association & a Happy New Year

Happy Sunday everyone, hope we have been enjoying our day.

Seems like everyone is coming down off the Christmas high. I was out yesterday for filling my grandma duties and noticed that several stores already had Valentine's Day stuff out. Yes you read correctly...Valentine's Day. Fast paced living for sure.

I've been on my end of the year clean up trip and decided that I will be taking of this week to get all my thoughts in order.
I want to revamp a few things in my life and I want my writing and blog to reflect those changes but only with a few days off can I achieve that.
I still will be participating in my duties as Host and Co-Host of the link parties I am involved with I will just not be writing any stand alone posts of my own until January 4th, 2015.

So in the meantime I want to wish everyone a safe, healthy, happy, peaceful New Year. May you all go out and live your best lives and be free of chaos, drama and extra baggage.

To get the ball rolling here you go love, Mari.

Mediocre doesn't want Greatness to come around, for it gives hope that there is indeed something better in store for us if we just keep pushing forward.

Poor Behavior doesn't like Enlightenment because when you know better you do better. Then you leave it in the dust stewing in its misery.

Loud doesn't like Peaceful because in the silence it points out all its buffoonery. The calm brings out the truth and clarity.

Ignorance doesn't like Question because in not knowing you are blinded and can not prosper.

Misery loves company.

We hear often about Haters and may even know a few but do we really take the time necessary for us not to become Haters ourselves?

My mother always taught me to be mindful of the company I kept.
There is a saying in Spanish that says in paraphrase "tell me who your hanging with and I will tell you who you are".
That saying was drilled into my being and I drilled it into my own daughter. It is truth.

I can't expect to see my cup as half full if everyone around me sees it half empty.
I can't dream big and work on achieving if my friends dream small and are complacent.
I can't live in clarity if my home is in chaos.

Every time I sit and practice Meditation I pick a word and focus on it. It allows me to learn more about myself and what direction I want my life to go in.
When I first started my practice I heard many "oh you won't be able to sit for too long or oh that just sounds so silly". The people who said those things are no longer around and I can sit for 30 minutes now, so right there is the proof of minding the company you keep and the words that come out your mouth.

Misery loves company.

illustration by sober politico.com

Are there more drag you downs than pick me ups in your life?
Is it time to clean house?

Always stress free xo.

Meditation for Dummies

My choice of words for this title is more about grabbing your attention than it is about disrespect or name calling.

Sometimes we are so busy moving, planning and doing that it takes something sort of shocking to just stop us in our tracks. For many of us its a word or something we hear.

I want to share some of my Meditation journey with you.

I have been aware of Meditation since H.S. when a classmate of mine and now a longtime friend bought it to my attention and shared her and her families journey using this practice.
I found it interesting but being 13 or 14 years old I was not into clarity or calmness or being in the moment.
I was more into go go go and my way is the right way.

About 3 years ago a had a life changing experience that basically forced me to stop and slow down.
I had a major change in a relationship that at the time I thought was building on a strong foundation when in fact it was building on very rocky ground.

Sometimes things are right in front of us and we just refuse to see them.
Anyway so as I was saying, I was bought to a halt a place I had never been at before.
After about a month and a half of asking myself all the why's I could possibly ask myself I decided to stop questioning and start doing.

I began to work on myself and really get to know who Mari was. Who I wanted to be and how I wanted to live my life moving forward.

One of the things I turned to without hesitation (finally) was Meditation. I went on Google and researched tons of stuff.
Centers, Music, the History, its Purpose etc...

I found out that many community centers, especially in NYC through a program called Shape Up NYC offer many free classes through our Parks and Recreation programs one of them being Yoga which includes Meditation.
I immediately found one and joined.

I then set out to make a space in my home where I can practice and be committed to my new journey.
This is what I came up with...

One of the most eye opening moments for me was during one of my Yoga classes when at the end my instructor said "let's prepare for Corpse Pose".

I was like "what?". I looked around to see if anyone else was as shocked as I was apparently not.
She instructed us to lay down, our hands to our sides, palms up, eyes closed.
She said some other things but only thing I heard was death and rebirth.
That was a moment I will never forget and that is one of my favorite parts of my practice. I am including links with info if you wish to explore further.

mindbodygreen.com
artofliving.org
myyogaonline.com

Asian and International rituals Coffin ceremonies for the living

thaiworldview.com
thaizer.com

Meditation is many things to different people.
It is indeed a practice not something casual. It is a way of life.
I started my practice with barely making it through 5 minutes of stillness, I am now up to 30 minutes.

My practice brings me a joy and peace like no other.
It is mine and I don't have to share that space with anyone or anything.
It centers me and brings me clarity. It allows me to be accountable for my actions and to be present in what I do and who I choose to interact with in my daily life.

Meditation has even bought my daughter and I closer as if that was even possible :). We discuss it, we practice it together at times and we respect and appreciate what it has done for the vibe in our home.

As a parent I suggest it as an alternative to Time Outs.
Sitting in a chair or bench because you behaved poorly doesn't teach a lesson.
If we instead sit still with our kids and ask them for a few minutes of reflection, eyes closed, hands on their laps maybe at the end of those few minutes they will come out of it calmly and with better attitude to be more cooperative.
Sure little ones lack focus for long periods of time, but even 1 or 2 minutes of sitting close to mommy and or daddy with eyes closed can teach a lesson.

What other alternatives have you found in place of Time Outs?

Always  stress free xo

Life Saver Tude Changer

Funny how just a small adjustment or change can make a world of difference. Though at the time it is taking place it doesn't seem so small at all.

You hear it all the time...baby steps. Take it one day at a time and make small changes and you will see how grand they will be in the end.

That about describes the last three (3) years of my life and even more so the last two (2).

These numbers mean a great deal for me because they remind me to be grateful and to always remember how far I have come.

Ok enough of the melodrama, but seriously this was the only way to start off this post.

Today I will speak on how Meditation and Yoga saved my life. How adding these practices to my daily journey helped me grow physically and spiritually.

I use to be extremely opinionated, extremely impatient, extremely independent, extreme period.

My passion for anything I did lead me to be a bit too controlling. 

My independence actually build walls instead of opening up doors.

I would never describe myself as horrible to be around nor have I ever heard myself be described that way but I have heard the word difficult.

I have experienced a variety of losses in these last three (3) years different types of deaths I would call them. I know death is such a harsh word and even sad to most but let's think about it in the sense of flowers.

We receive or buy a lovely bouquet of flowers and already we have killed them to some degree because we in a sense cut them off from their roots. We admire them, care for them, they bring us joy, they make us smile then shortly they begin to wither, die and we must throw them away.

That has been my journey.

I will start with Meditation. It helped me to slow down. To look into myself and to be comfortable in my space, my skin and in the moment. It helped me learn to respect time and to breathe. It taught me to like being alone and not to think it meant being lonely. It helped me learn how to listen.

It allowed me to grow in ways that I had never envisioned for myself. I learned to think outside the box, to stop saying and start doing, to be fearless and to cut ties with things and people that were not growing along with me.

It taught me to accept that sometimes people just don't value you as you should be valued and that it is ok to walk away and still love them. That nothing lasts forever so cherish the present. To live in the moment and be ok with just being still.

It added to my passion for all things fun. Investing time with my daughter became even more joyous, reading a book was filled with feeling the journey, eating my food was like traveling to a new place. All my senses were heightened.

I cried on my first sitting and it only lasted five (5) minutes, I focused on the word Hope.

I hoped it would help me find peace at a time I felt great loss and disappointment and it did!

Today I sit for twenty (20) to thirty (30) minutes at a time and its amazing. It is my time and nothing else matters.

Some ask me how can I sit still and not have my mind wonder, I say it isn't always easy and that it's ok to wonder but to remember to bring yourself back to why you sat there in the first place.

Now Yoga. This was my go to because I extremely dislike exercise, I don't like going to gym's and I don't really like the idea of sweating out my hair.

I found a class in a community center close to where I live two (2) years ago and haven't stopped going since. 

It has taught me to respect my body, what I put into it, what I do with it and how to care for it.

It has taught me the importance of honoring what it tells me. If you feel pain it's for a reason look into it don't ignore what it's telling you.

I have learned that I am stronger, we all are stronger than we think. That our bodies are capable of doing amazing things, that as a woman and a mother my body is truly a gift. A life came through me how awesome is that!!

I have learned what it is and what it means to be deeply committed to something or someone. What it means to follow through with changes that will pay off in the long wrong. What it means to change our perspective on life, earth and our planet.

I have learned that winning is not one is right and the other is wrong but that together respectfully you can find a solution that works for all.

Now all that being said I am still a work in progress, we all are. I still have days if you cut me off as I am driving I say a few things in my car with window rolled up of course lol. I have just changed some of the words I say.

I still need to gain more patience and I still need to learn to listen longer and not try to cut into conversation with my own thoughts BUT I am sooooooo not where I was before that I am grateful and I am mindful of this blessed journey.

I believe in a higher power whatever that may be. I don't disrespect anyone's road to that peaceful place. For me it is a spiritual journey, we are all connected, everything is connected. Go out and find your way your peace.

I am including some links in case you may be interested in trying something new, different and free!!

As always stress free living is a must.

doyogawithme.com

myyogaonline.com

youtube.com

youtube.com

youtube.com