Sunday, January 11, 2015

I Chose to Not have Children, why is that such a touchy issue?

Happy cold Sunday here in NYC!
Geez, it's really been something these last few days for sure. Though I am aware some other states are having it a bit rougher than myself I'm just going to be a little self absorbed and ask Mother Nature to just please chill out just a bit.

Today's subject is a bit touchy to some.
Yesterday my daughter and I had a bit of a clash and for a few moments I was not too happy in mommy land. I had to pull the card of "I'm your mother, watch how you speak to me".
But for the most part more times than not she is my Sunshine. She will be 20 years old in April.
From the day she was born I have said that one of my purposes in life was to be her mother and that if that has been my only purpose then I have been blessed and I am content.

I wanted and planned for my daughter. I didn't plan for her at 10 years old but I did consciously think about children and a family once I entered my late teenage years.
That was a choice I had available to me, that was the road I wanted.

But what about those that don't want children? What about those who choose not to go down that road, choose that life?
Are they wrong? Are we right?
Is there a right or wrong period?

Here is an article I ran into. Tell me what you think?
Childless can be a choice

I have an amazing friend. She is kind, smart, giving, loving, generous plus so much more.
We met several years ago and she's been like a sister to me ever since.
When we first met of course the getting to know you stage one of the questions is about children.
She is married and has been for many years but her answer was "No, we have no children".
Her answer was along the lines of that was not something we really wanted to do.

illustration by

I loved that answer! Kids are not for everyone and no one should feel forced, especially women to go that route.
It is not a mandate to femininity or for relationships.

She said she got tired of people asking why so she began to say she couldn't have any. Can you believe that? People aren't comfortable with the idea of choosing not to have children but are ok with the notion of not being able to have children? SMH!
She says she has plenty of nieces and nephews in her life to give all her love to and isn't missing anything.
Good for her. She is clear on her path and what they wanted.

Freedom of choice!!!
Do you boo, I ain't mad at you.

Always stress free xo.


  1. Don't understand why people think they can ask personal questions about how one lives their life. It is not your business to ask or pass judgement on how one chooses life decisions.

    1. Jovina thanks for visit and comment. I think most people feel it's their Right to judge.

  2. My theory is that human nature means that people will always ask questions--some people will approve of what you do and some people won't--I was raised not to really worry about random people's approval. We don't have kids yet, though we definitely, definitely want them! When people ask when we're going to have a baby I just say, "Most likely not today, as far as I know..."

    1. Rachel thanks for visit and comments. Love your response to the question lol. Best of luck in parenting land when you do get there :)

  3. It's so sad that someone cannot be honest about their decision. Everyone has a right to find their happiness, whether or not that involves having children. This idea that we all have to follow a certain pre-defined path drives me batty!

    Thank you for sharing with us at #MommyMeetupMondays!

    1. Brandyn thanks for having me over and thanks for visit and comments :)

  4. I'm happy to have found you through #mommymeetupmondays :-) It is crazy that your friend had to say she couldn't have kids in response to people's nosy comments. Having kids IS a choice, and I wish more people realized it and respected others right to choose!

    1. Welcome! Thanks for visit and comments. Loving MM great shares for sure :).
      I was surprised at her response too and couldn't believe she had to go there but understood that sometimes a sharp response shuts down inquisitive people lol. Hope to see you here again soon :)

  5. Children are really a huge responsibility, and if you really do not want to have them why should you. No one should do something on the fact that society says it is the thing you should do. So props to her for making a choice for herself, and not on the fact of what others think she should do.

    1. Thanks for visit and comment. That's the same thing I thought when she shared. It's wonderful to always be true to yourself.

  6. I can understand her decision to tell people that she couldn't have children. There is loads of pressure on women to explain why they haven't had children yet. And I have often been called selfish because I have said I just don't think I would be a good parent.

    1. Heidi welcome thanks for visit and comment. I am always surprised by what people feel they can say in regards to another's life. Selfish? Omg, how dare someone say that. I recall telling people are you gonna give me the money to raise another child, when I was thinking of number of children I could comfortably afford. Smh. Again thanks for stopping by.

  7. Hello cute lady! Fabulous post. Pinned and tweeted. We appreciate you taking the time to stop by and party with us. It wouldn't be a party without you! I hope to see you tonight at 7 pm. Lou Lou Girls


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