Well not sure how much in the news this post I'm about to share is or has been but being that I watch Good Morning America as I get ready for work and my daughter loves the movie Mean Girls, this was a great topic of conversation the other morning.
I have only watched that movie once and it was upon the request of my sunshine. She wanted me to sit with her on a rerun of it some time ago.
I could take it or leave it but I got the message. A Burnbook is used in this movie as a way to write really ugly and "mean" rumors and comments about other girls, so to have an app named after it by CEO Jonathan Lucas and to actually have people who are using it says a lot about our society for sure.
illustration by bethallutherannet.
It doesn't take courage to sit and send out hateful messages anonymously. I doesn't take courage to pick on others if they have no idea who you are but it does take courage to stand up for things like this and put a stop to them.
How much of a coward are you to bully someone without identifying yourself? Would you not say the same thing in there face?
I remember the days of meet me after school and we will put an end to all this "beef". I remember the days when you told people off to their face and things went from there. Now we use our phones, our computers and even worse our parents guns.
Again who is teaching these kids that bullying is a right of passage? That it is ok to do it, that everyone does it? Who is teaching these kids that being a coward is cool?
My mother never encouraged fighting but she didn't raise me to back down either. She taught me to warn first and fight later. She taught me to use my words as a means to come to mutual understanding, not to bring someone down.
My mother taught me to make sure that if I said something I could back it up, in other words if you talk crap be prepared to get knocked on your A**.
These are the same lessons I taught my daughter. How to have character, how to resolve issues in a fair manner, how to defend herself if necessary at all times.
But how do we defend ourselves from those that are hiding? How do we continue to shine an even brighter light on this issue?
illustration by socialmediaexaminer.com
I say we can start at home and at an early age. Even a 3 year old can be a bully. When our children exhibit aggressive behavior let's address it. Everything is not funny or will be grown out of.
-Communication: constant show of examples about how using our words poorly reflects on us and hurts others. Constant talks and exchange of ideas, open lines to express ourselves respectfully.
-Monitoring: now I am not into monitoring per say but if I am paying for your phone etc...I do have the right to ask about the types of apps you have on there. We can surely hold discussions about what sort of material I expect you to stay away from. If you build early great lines of communication, there will be no need for monitoring.
-Consequences: if our children engage in poor behavior they should be held accountable. Of course apologizing would be great but words are empty if no loss is experienced. So take away privileges, have them volunteer in an activity or program in relation to their behavior. Stand your ground and let them know that differences should always be respected even if we don't agree.
If our kids are the ones on the other end and are being bullied, no matter how small it may seem, she doesn't like my shirt, he made fun of my haircut whatever, talk about it. Allow them to express their feelings and let your kids know you support and will stick up for them as best you can. Look into the matter, speak with the teachers, the parents etc...but say and do something.
I am including link to story and I am also sharing link to interesting Curt Schilling story and how he dealt with similar bully issues online with his daughter. Let's talk, tell me what you think.
gma.yahoo.com/critics-burnbook
foxnews.com/curt-schilling
Always stress free xo.
