What your Dreams can Reveil

I dreamt of Spiders and a veil was lifted.

For the past two months I've been having some really disturbing dreams. They include people I haven't spoken to in quite some time now and upon waking I find myself sending them love and best wishes. Though I do this on a regular whether in prayer form or quiet meditation those who are no longer a part of my daily life are not gone from my thoughts.

illustration by mactoons.com

These dreams included old friends, my little sister, my mom and my daughter's father. The latter was the only one I made an effort to reach out to. I want to say it was simply because I had the means to but that wouldn't be the whole truth, the whole truth is he would be the least to bring me anxiety and open old wounds. The first, old friends I honestly just feel whatever and if its meant to be we will cross paths again but my little sister and my mother...

Then I dreamt of Spiders two nights in a row and had to find out why? My research suggested the following:

-your future

-fear

-entrapment

-time

-forces sucking the life out of you

-tackling obstacles

Light bulb moment! 

illustration by shutterstock.com

I have been thinking heavy about my future, I have been sitting in fear, I have been feeling trapped, I am always mindful of my time, I have come across some life suckers, and I am learning how to tackle obstacles. How can Spiders represent all that? Well not to get into too much symbolism etc...if you think of Spiders just one thing I will focus on is Time. They do not rush to make their web to catch their pray but they do so carefully and with intent. They move swiftly but with purpose and remain focused till the end. 

My lil mama is reaching the end of her College journey which means even more freedom for me but also more independence for her. New things like her moving out or even moving away. Closer to the day we no longer wake up under the same roof. Mixed feelings but we are getting ready and have been for the past 21 years.

I'm in my forties, single, dating and sooooo not feeling it at this moment. I would like to be doing something totally different at this stage in my life. Learning to accept the road I am on and working towards getting on the road I want to be in. Even my half a** dating is not cutting it any more. I dreamt of Spiders and they called me out on the goals I had set for myself in my last breakup. To remain true to what I want, to always put my desires out in the universe and not live in fear to face my truths and not turn a blind eye to what is right in front of me. 

illustration by mroutsource.com

I was starting to revert back into a Bystander but checked myself shortly after these dreams and now I am back Front and Center! I started by joining Meet Up. com. A sight with tons of groups you can join with like minded people. I have gone to Yoga classes and Meditation classes outside in the park. I went to Wanderlust event in Prospect park over the weekend with Lil Mama it was amazing.  I'm heading to a Holistic Networking event over the weekend where they will be teaching how to perfect your Elevator Pitch and Networking skills. I even stepped out of my comfort zone and went to a Sister Circle event a fellow blogger friend of mine was holding up in Brooklyn.

This Sister Circle was amazing, so many beautiful women inside and out. No cattiness, no negativity just love! I am not one to hang with many females but these strong, powerful women. Secure in who they are, where they are going and what they have to offer and give to the universe...I'll proudly hang with any time. It was hosted by the beautiful Brittany Josephina whom I've spoken of in the past. In this event I also had the opportunity to take part in a Reiki session. This is an ancient Japanese healing technique used for stress relief and uses your own energy. It is not affiliated in any way with religion. I would highly recommend at least reading up on it before judging it. We had a beautiful practitioner by the name of Liana Naima go check her out.

I am hoping to join many more fun filled meet up events and par take in many more fellow blogger socializing. If you are like me and hate to do things alone continue to hate it but do it anyway. I am never lonely I enjoy my Mari time but as like with anything else moderation is key and you don't want to seclude yourself from living just because those around you don't share the same interest. Go out and meet new people that do, make a new friend.

illustration by yanavcsl.org

Having these dreams wasn't a fluke it was me telling me I needed to change my direction. It was me showing myself self care by acknowledging a problem, sitting with it and finding a solution. Not by beating myself up, not by talking down to myself but by going out and looking for tools I could use to change my life's journey. I Dreamt of Spiders and began to heal myself. We always know what we need just sometimes we refuse to listen.

Share your thoughts. Ever have a dream or series of dreams that lead you in a certain direction? Ever felt afraid of something, done it anyway come to find out it was the best thing for you? Did it turn out instead to be the worst? Let's start a conversation.

Always stress free xo,

Mari

Unfiltered Moments in Life

Hey dolls happy Wednesday! Hope we have been enjoying our Summer to the fullest I know the chic in these pics sure has. That's me! Unfiltered, unedited smiley ole me! I don't make it a habit to post pics of myself too much I just don't care to be so exposed I love my privacy but as a mom and an advocate for all things empowering women I felt in order to be clear on this issue I had to show my authentic self. These pictures were taken a few weeks ago at the beach in NYC. I love the beach but I never go in the water last time I was in the water was when lil mama was a toddler. I prefer to lay on my blanket reading a good book or eating and listening to some great music.

I have a routine for my tanning sessions. I use a top that I'll be happy with the tan lines till next summer, a pair of boy shorts and my cutoff shorts on top. I get to the beach remove my cutoff shorts, lather on Coco Butter or Shea Butter and lay on each side for forty-five minutes. I barely walk around too much because I tend to feel too naked. Can you believe that, too naked...at the beach!?

This year has been so different for me. It's like what?! You can't tell me nothing, I'll be forty-five in September and I have earned the right to do whatever the heck I want. This body is mine, its the one who bought my daughter into this world, the one that takes me through my Yoga practice, the one that allows me to care for my grandma, the one I get to look at every single day until my days are done. I've never had body shaming issues but of course we look at something and say there is always room for improvement. But look at that smile, jumping in that water, letting go of all those fears of exposure and doubts made me soooo happy. I didn't even care that my hair got all wet and that Seaweed was all around me and my skin. I felt like kids do when they have no concept of "others" looking at them.

So what other females there were slimmer or taller. So what some had string bikinis or cutout one pieces, we were all there enjoying the moment having tons of fun. Some of us were size 6 some size 3 some size 14 but we were and are all Beautiful! Unfiltered moments in Life, that's what its all about. Owning who we are and making changes only when we feel like it not because someone else says so.

That streak of gray hair I've earned on my journey is ok too. It's a sign of the wisdom I continue to gain in this life. I am always changing I will always be growing older that is part of Life and I am embracing it. At some point that hair will be cut shorter and donated to a child who has lost theirs. It will make someone else as happy as it has made me. Letting go the first time was very empowering and this time around will be just as sweet. Unfiltered moments in Life.

illustration by pinterest.com

So moms and dads too go out their and embrace your authentic self! Go out and forget about the "others" and just do for you. Baby steps are fine but try doing one thing unfiltered and see how it makes you feel. No makeup, no hair products, no nail polish something! I'm walking around right now with my Diana Ross hair in full effect and its been fun for sure.

What are your thoughts? Are you fearful of being too naked, unfiltered and exposed? Are you still trying to work your way towards your authentic self? If you are already there please share some of your journey. Let's start a conversation.

Always stress free xo,

Mari