What your Dreams can Reveil

I dreamt of Spiders and a veil was lifted.

For the past two months I've been having some really disturbing dreams. They include people I haven't spoken to in quite some time now and upon waking I find myself sending them love and best wishes. Though I do this on a regular whether in prayer form or quiet meditation those who are no longer a part of my daily life are not gone from my thoughts.

illustration by mactoons.com

These dreams included old friends, my little sister, my mom and my daughter's father. The latter was the only one I made an effort to reach out to. I want to say it was simply because I had the means to but that wouldn't be the whole truth, the whole truth is he would be the least to bring me anxiety and open old wounds. The first, old friends I honestly just feel whatever and if its meant to be we will cross paths again but my little sister and my mother...

Then I dreamt of Spiders two nights in a row and had to find out why? My research suggested the following:

-your future

-fear

-entrapment

-time

-forces sucking the life out of you

-tackling obstacles

Light bulb moment! 

illustration by shutterstock.com

I have been thinking heavy about my future, I have been sitting in fear, I have been feeling trapped, I am always mindful of my time, I have come across some life suckers, and I am learning how to tackle obstacles. How can Spiders represent all that? Well not to get into too much symbolism etc...if you think of Spiders just one thing I will focus on is Time. They do not rush to make their web to catch their pray but they do so carefully and with intent. They move swiftly but with purpose and remain focused till the end. 

My lil mama is reaching the end of her College journey which means even more freedom for me but also more independence for her. New things like her moving out or even moving away. Closer to the day we no longer wake up under the same roof. Mixed feelings but we are getting ready and have been for the past 21 years.

I'm in my forties, single, dating and sooooo not feeling it at this moment. I would like to be doing something totally different at this stage in my life. Learning to accept the road I am on and working towards getting on the road I want to be in. Even my half a** dating is not cutting it any more. I dreamt of Spiders and they called me out on the goals I had set for myself in my last breakup. To remain true to what I want, to always put my desires out in the universe and not live in fear to face my truths and not turn a blind eye to what is right in front of me. 

illustration by mroutsource.com

I was starting to revert back into a Bystander but checked myself shortly after these dreams and now I am back Front and Center! I started by joining Meet Up. com. A sight with tons of groups you can join with like minded people. I have gone to Yoga classes and Meditation classes outside in the park. I went to Wanderlust event in Prospect park over the weekend with Lil Mama it was amazing.  I'm heading to a Holistic Networking event over the weekend where they will be teaching how to perfect your Elevator Pitch and Networking skills. I even stepped out of my comfort zone and went to a Sister Circle event a fellow blogger friend of mine was holding up in Brooklyn.

This Sister Circle was amazing, so many beautiful women inside and out. No cattiness, no negativity just love! I am not one to hang with many females but these strong, powerful women. Secure in who they are, where they are going and what they have to offer and give to the universe...I'll proudly hang with any time. It was hosted by the beautiful Brittany Josephina whom I've spoken of in the past. In this event I also had the opportunity to take part in a Reiki session. This is an ancient Japanese healing technique used for stress relief and uses your own energy. It is not affiliated in any way with religion. I would highly recommend at least reading up on it before judging it. We had a beautiful practitioner by the name of Liana Naima go check her out.

I am hoping to join many more fun filled meet up events and par take in many more fellow blogger socializing. If you are like me and hate to do things alone continue to hate it but do it anyway. I am never lonely I enjoy my Mari time but as like with anything else moderation is key and you don't want to seclude yourself from living just because those around you don't share the same interest. Go out and meet new people that do, make a new friend.

illustration by yanavcsl.org

Having these dreams wasn't a fluke it was me telling me I needed to change my direction. It was me showing myself self care by acknowledging a problem, sitting with it and finding a solution. Not by beating myself up, not by talking down to myself but by going out and looking for tools I could use to change my life's journey. I Dreamt of Spiders and began to heal myself. We always know what we need just sometimes we refuse to listen.

Share your thoughts. Ever have a dream or series of dreams that lead you in a certain direction? Ever felt afraid of something, done it anyway come to find out it was the best thing for you? Did it turn out instead to be the worst? Let's start a conversation.

Always stress free xo,

Mari

Stop Rushing Time!

illustration by quotesideas.com

Ok there I said it, I was about to explode if I opened up one more F****** Halloween email or Fall blah blah blah. People slow down geez what is the rush? Enjoy the moment trust me the clock is Ticking and it isn't your friend.
Though I respect people's hustle to get their great stuff out there know that Living in Mommywood will not be sharing anything related to Halloween or Fall until here's the shocker...October!

illustration by pinterest.com

This is my Birth Day month so I will be enjoying to the fullest every second, minute, hour, day and week. 

illustration by garancedore.com

Sending love to my Virgos and fellow Libras!!!

illustration by pinterest.com

illustration by quotesgram.com

Always stress free xo,

Mari

Eliminate the Limits

If we are lucky enough to be close with our children as they enter adulthood then we have access to a whole new way of thinking and a whole new way of approaching life.

Seldom is credit given to the youth and young adults of today. Some adults tend to cast aside their opinions and choices as unrealistic dreams or over confidence even going as far as to say just stick with the program and don't rock the boat. Projecting their fears or disappointments and dropping words such as cockiness or sense of entitlement.

illustration by outrageousgrace.org.

I perceive that there could be some truth to those statements but only if the subject in question has shown you less than. It would be a shame to entertain these thoughts if our children have shown us otherwise. And so what if some of our kids at times have cocky ways at approaching life issues? So what if they at times feel certain things are due to them, isn't that what we want for them to begin with? For our children to feel they can be and do anything?

I never walk away from a conversation with my lil mama without saying "wow, that is my kid. she really said that and meant it." I never leave with a sense of worrisome that she won't be ok in life no matter what path she chooses. By eliminating the limits by never introducing limited thinking we, her parents gave her a freedom that most of us adults have forgotten or just simply set aside as unacceptable.

Oprah once commented on how liberating turning forty was and I remember thinking wow that really is something! We go through so many stages in life and some come with a sense of restriction but being forty-four myself now I can totally understand that freedom. And what I respect the most from that freedom is nurturing my daughters wild and adventurous spirit. I don't want her to have to turn a certain age and feel free. I want her to continue to remain free like she's always been.

illustrated by quoteaddicts.com

I realize the limits my mother set on me and then me on myself. Today I find myself affirming my right to do whatever the heck I want! Yes I can go to a nice dinner...alone, yes I can say no to an invitation, yes I can just sit on my butt all Saturday afternoon and watch repeats of Friends, yes I can shut my phone off and not talk to anyone, yes I can...do whatever I want.

In my awesome conversations with my lil mama I realize that I can still revisit some old ideas and try some things I had set aside during my years of focusing on her. She helps me to see that in supporting her I am supporting myself and that young woman I sheltered so much because of my limited beliefs. I encourage every parent out there to start talking with their kids more often and if you already have awesome talks to continue to nourish them. These great conversations will flourish into great lives and wonderful memories.

Eliminate the Limits!

What are your thoughts? Has adult life closed you into a limited life? Have you started to do the same to your kids?

Always stress free xo,

Mari

What You think of me doesn't Cloud what I think of me

She's fat, she's too skinny, she's lazy, she's disorganized, she's a whore, she's a prude, she's a gold digger, she's boring, she's a bitch, she's a pushover, she's a control freak, she lets people walk all over her. You got a small glimpse of me and now you think you know me.

 The same list of assumptions could be tweaked and directed at a man in the end daily there are people walking around looking at us and making up their own stories about who we are. Are you going to allow their version of your story to be your truth? Are you going to cower down or stand tall and keep doing you?

Investing time and energy into trying to correct someone's thoughts of who we are only starts to slow us down and becomes a burden of unnecessary weight to carry. On most days its just a deflection on the part of those people and what they have going on in their own lives.

illustration by plus.google.com

When I began to Meditate and began to hold myself accountable for how I was communicating with others the words I heard most often were "think you better than". I would have to stop myself and ask where that was coming from I was simply changing some of my old behaviors and making better choices for me. I had to in time accept that not everyone wants you to succeed and if they are down they want you down right next to them. I had to begin to cut those ties that were clipping my wings.

How can we walk proud in who we are when others say or think something different?

Well first we must begin by looking in the mirror. Is that person staring back at you ashamed of their actions, of who they currently are? If you live long enough, and our elders do tell us, that you will have made some mistakes but those mistakes don't have to make you. On any given day we can start again, do something different to get on the right track.
Once we do that our next thought should be about perception. We all see things differently, experience things in a variety of ways. Go to a movie with a few friends and you will see exactly that come into play.

illustration by pinterest.com

What you think of me doesn't cloud what I think of me. Be comfortable in your own skin, look within and present your best self.

Perception is individual and derives from our current emotions. Feeling positive than your eyes see only beauty, feeling like crap then your eyes only see gloom.

What you think of me doesn't cloud what I think of me. Focus on constant evolution and block out the unnecessary noise.

What are your thoughts? Does what others think of you matter more or less? Does it help you become better or does it keep you focused on the negative? Leave your comments, lets chat.

illustrations by quotes.com

Always stress free xo, 

Mari

Life is simple, make better Choices

Good morning I'd like to begin my chat with you today acknowledging the events that took place over the weekend in Florida, again another senseless ending of lives just because someone else isn't happy with theirs. I'm not going to point a finger at one group or one thing or one belief or one anything. I am just going to say that as a parent of a young lady who is often out socializing with her friends and family that no one should be going through this ever!

Every life is precious and holding on to hate just because of differences is not a representation of any God.

Automatic weapons have no place in our neighborhoods. Your house or business, our schools or shopping centers or stadiums don't require that kind of weapon for our protection. We must rethink, review and revise our gun laws. The right to bare arms and protect what is yours can still be upheld but that type of weapon is not the answer. As parents as human beings we must figure out a way to join together and protect everyone's child.

Now, with that being said I want to dive right into this thought because again it is all relevant.

illustration by myquotesclub.com

I am not going to feel any type of way about you feeling I am to blame for your misfortune. Does that make any sense to you? Well let me explain.

Most people function with placing blame. I didn't get that job because the interviewer had it in for me, I didn't get that apartment because they don't want xyz people here, my partner cheated on me because so and so through themselves at them etc etc.
Whether or not any of these examples hold a drop of truth it is what we choose to do shortly after that really matters.

How can you continuously blame an outside source for your troubles and for how long is that "truth" going to help you live your life?

Of course when bad things happen our emotions are all over the place but when we honestly stop and look at ourselves in the mirror we usually can see the answers staring back at us. We are not what happens to us but instead what we do with those events.

illustration by pinterest.com

Your man didn't cheat on you for any other reason than his choice to do so. The apartment perhaps just wasn't for you, the job...maybe you were over qualified. Choose to change your perspective, choose to acknowledge the event and keep moving, choose a better life. When you go out to lunch and had a bad meal do you go back again and order the same dish? No. Choices, we all have them choose wisely.

illustration by pinterest.com

My daughter just resigned from her job not even three months in. She was very excited about this new adventure until the blinders were taken off. Until certain behaviors clashed with her authentic self. We had many long talks over these past few weeks and two of the questions I asked her were "What were you hired for? What is your job?"At first she was offended because she felt I was telling her to just go to work and shut up but what I was picking her brain about really was for her to speak out loud her expectations verses her actual job duties. She was doing too much, she was investing too much emotional energy in a situation that didn't require it. When she realized this she thanked me for the conversation and put in her two weeks. 

illustration by quoteaddicts.com

She calls me after work yesterday to run what had happened at the end of her day by me. Her supervisor had thanked her for the two weeks notice because it really was/is a courtesy on her behalf and said that after her being there for that week they saw no need to waste her time and that she didn't have to return again. My lil mama said "for a second there I felt like I got fired, but I didn't get fired right"? I said "no vieja (I call her old lady in Spanish too) you didn't get fired you had already quit but in their eyes they see no need to risk you perhaps tampering with their stuff or just dealing with the energy and saw it best to just say goodbye." She said "oh ok then, fine." I said "yes, fine go out and celebrate be grateful for the experience and btw if in the future you do ever get fired, its ok to feel what you may feel but don't dwell on it too long it just means you weren't a good fit for what they needed. It is never personal, business is business keep it moving." She said "thanks mama, always great to hear your side" and we hung up.

Choices, is your cup always going to be half empty or are you going to view it with a smile as half full? What are your thoughts? What was a recent let down and what choice did you make? Was someone else to blame or did you decide to focus on your next option? Let's chat.

Always stress free xo,

Mari

Wrapping things Up

Aha! Got your attention, right. What on earth came to mind when you read my title? So many possibilities let's just leave it at that.

Hey loves, always nice to have you drop by and see what's up in Mommywood.

illustration by bradys100thingstodo.com

Can you believe its December!In the blink of an eye we are already ending the year. Are you ready for 2016? How did you guys do on your "Bucket List" as most call it? Mine is called Accomplishment List. When I think of a bucket I think of dirty water and clean floors or dirt in the back yard that is not anywhere near my life's adventure thoughts.

I've been reflecting and refocusing my energies getting ready for all the grand wonders to come in 2016. How can a New Year be amazing if we go into it with our old energy right?! Personally 2015 wasn't so bad if I look at the big picture. I mean yeah I had a few pebbles trip me as I walked down a few roads but I caught myself and kept it moving.

Isn't life about doing just that, overcoming the bumps on the road? Isn't being successful the ability to overcome things that get in our way?
Don't we love to see when our kids fall and get right back up? They don't even flinch its like "oh how did that happen? ok well keep it moving and they do!!!

illustration by pinterest.com

My daughter is a ball of energy most of the time it is only on days when she has put in very long hours in school and work that she walks in the house in silence. I have learned in those days to just let her walk by and wait for her cue to chat later. Her energy is contagious and the other night she taught me another great lesson...
Go out and Get it!

In her very colorful choice of words which I won't repeat but instead clean up she shouted in the middle of our living room "Mami whatever you want just Go out and Get it" Whatever you need tell me and I will help you get it!!! It is our time we about THIS MONEY!!!"

That declaration was amusing yet powerful. We can't expect things to fall on our laps better jobs, financial freedom, healthier life styles etc... We must make a commitment to ourselves to take the steps to Go out and Get it.

So I am committing to the following:
-cutting out more sweets
-sleeping more
-reading more
-adding another $25 to a savings account weekly (it adds up trust me!)
-revamping my families budget plan
-trying something new everyday even something small
-making more of an effort to cross things OFF my Accomplishment List
-more networking
-more photography adventures
-more Mindful living

illustration by pixteller.com

What things will you be focusing on in 2016? Anything you dropped the ball on in 2015 you want to try your hand at again? Please share I love to be motivated!

Always stress free xo

Mari