Unfiltered Moments in Life

Hey dolls happy Wednesday! Hope we have been enjoying our Summer to the fullest I know the chic in these pics sure has. That's me! Unfiltered, unedited smiley ole me! I don't make it a habit to post pics of myself too much I just don't care to be so exposed I love my privacy but as a mom and an advocate for all things empowering women I felt in order to be clear on this issue I had to show my authentic self. These pictures were taken a few weeks ago at the beach in NYC. I love the beach but I never go in the water last time I was in the water was when lil mama was a toddler. I prefer to lay on my blanket reading a good book or eating and listening to some great music.

I have a routine for my tanning sessions. I use a top that I'll be happy with the tan lines till next summer, a pair of boy shorts and my cutoff shorts on top. I get to the beach remove my cutoff shorts, lather on Coco Butter or Shea Butter and lay on each side for forty-five minutes. I barely walk around too much because I tend to feel too naked. Can you believe that, too naked...at the beach!?

This year has been so different for me. It's like what?! You can't tell me nothing, I'll be forty-five in September and I have earned the right to do whatever the heck I want. This body is mine, its the one who bought my daughter into this world, the one that takes me through my Yoga practice, the one that allows me to care for my grandma, the one I get to look at every single day until my days are done. I've never had body shaming issues but of course we look at something and say there is always room for improvement. But look at that smile, jumping in that water, letting go of all those fears of exposure and doubts made me soooo happy. I didn't even care that my hair got all wet and that Seaweed was all around me and my skin. I felt like kids do when they have no concept of "others" looking at them.

So what other females there were slimmer or taller. So what some had string bikinis or cutout one pieces, we were all there enjoying the moment having tons of fun. Some of us were size 6 some size 3 some size 14 but we were and are all Beautiful! Unfiltered moments in Life, that's what its all about. Owning who we are and making changes only when we feel like it not because someone else says so.

That streak of gray hair I've earned on my journey is ok too. It's a sign of the wisdom I continue to gain in this life. I am always changing I will always be growing older that is part of Life and I am embracing it. At some point that hair will be cut shorter and donated to a child who has lost theirs. It will make someone else as happy as it has made me. Letting go the first time was very empowering and this time around will be just as sweet. Unfiltered moments in Life.

illustration by pinterest.com

So moms and dads too go out their and embrace your authentic self! Go out and forget about the "others" and just do for you. Baby steps are fine but try doing one thing unfiltered and see how it makes you feel. No makeup, no hair products, no nail polish something! I'm walking around right now with my Diana Ross hair in full effect and its been fun for sure.

What are your thoughts? Are you fearful of being too naked, unfiltered and exposed? Are you still trying to work your way towards your authentic self? If you are already there please share some of your journey. Let's start a conversation.

Always stress free xo,

Mari

These got me...

If you follow me on Twitter you know I share a range of things I don't constantly write about here.

Those 140 characters are an amazing way to stay short, sweet and focused.

I am always looking for ways to challenge myself, test my fearlessness and learn something new about myself and the world I live in, in general.
I don't want to label myself as all things stress free and not practice it more often than not.

I am always looking for fun ways to workout, eat better, have fun in the kitchen and improve myself.

Several weeks ago two things caught my attention, Katie Couric and her #fedupchallange and a Plank challenge at #30dayfitness.

I took Katie Couric's challenge and stopped eating all processed sugars for ten days. I started reading more of my food labels and noticed that practically all we eat has some form of sugar and let's not get into all the salt OMG!
For ten days I ate nothing but fresh fruits, lots of greens, drank lots of water, snacked on a variety of nuts. I drank strawberry and mint flavored water when I felt urge for a candy. To my surprise I did a lot better than I imagined especially since I have been eating candy every day of my life since I can remember. After the ten days I found I really didn't need or even missed having sweets everyday. I treated myself the weekend after to a Ben&Jerry Red Velvet Cake Ice cream and I only ate a few half spoonfuls.

My second challenge and one I am still doing is my 30 days of Planks. My daughter did this a while back and when I saw her I thought she was nuts. It looked painful but I was proud she stuck it out and she was very happy with her results for Prom time lol.
So when I surfed the web few weeks back and ran into this I said why not. I do some form of planking in Yoga, how hard can it really be (forgetting I had seen my daughter last year)?
OMG!! I am barely up to 2 minutes and 30 seconds and I am in tears!! Yes I started at 20 seconds and have come this far but I have to end my 30 days at 5 minutes!!

I don't care for rigorous workouts, I don't enjoy sweating in that form and I don't like the feel of must do exercise to get into "shape". I don't care for diets or restricting myself from anything especially if I feel forced.
What I have come to admire and respect is the commitment it requires for one to get themselves to place in their lives where they are content with who and what they are fully.

As I have shared before I practice Yoga and Meditation, I walk for about 2 hours several times a week around my neighborhood park and that is my routine, that is my workout. I am content with that.
I eat a variety of things, I eat in moderation but I never deprive myself or feel guilty about anything I eat. I used key word...moderation.

I don't do before and after pictures, I gauge how far I have come by how my skin feels and how content I feel when I take a deep breath. I make sure to thank myself for trying, every day is a new day a new baby step.

I looked at myself in the mirror the other night after my planks and saw stretch marks in my belly area. Nothing grotesque, nothing alarming but for a brief second I was like "oh". I am grateful that my skin tone is such it actually is lighter than most women and people have in general. It was the "oh" moment that made me write this because after that moment I smiled and got very teary eyed.

I looked around my home and saw the reason behind those marks, the love of my life, my pride and joy, my daughter. These got me, those tiny marks on my belly bought me to motherhood. To a journey that no words can really express but my smile can tell you stories. To a life that I wish for all, which is a life of gratitude, peace and kindness. So to these got me...thank you!!

Lets find something we can stick with, something we can enjoy and we can benefit from at the same time. We must stop looking at these magazines, models and celebrities and wishing we were them. Unless you go under the knife or work as hard as they do, you will not look that way. It requires hard work and commitment to achieve anything in life.

How committed are you? What will it take for you to be content? What do you do to achieve a stress free life?

30dayfitnesschallenges.com
fedupmovie.com

These got me...

Who is More Perverted?

I wasn't going to invest time in this until last week when I read the latest on the story.

Who is really more perverted, the people in this photo or the ADULT(S) who saw or see this photo and find a problem?

Whoever saw this picture and saw something sexual is either a prude or someone who grew up alone without siblings, friends or family. If that is the case, then they have been living in a cave for a very long time.

I would like to not believe that culture, race or anything of the sort is the reason behind this outrage but all the commotion makes me question what else can it be?

I won't take the liberty and say I speak for most but I believe I speak for many when I say that even I have pictures that look similar to that in some way, as do numerous friends and other family members.

As a teen or young adult with younger or older siblings, who hasn't been in a room just relaxing on the bed talking or playing games? Who hasn't walked around their home or places they feel comfortable in without a T-shirt on if your a male and in house clothes if you a female?

Who hasn't had sleepovers? Who hasn't had friends over to their pools? Who hasn't had a group of kids of a variety of ages just hanging around doing nothing?

I had many a days where my male family members and their friends would be in same room as the girls shirtless watching television, listening to music or playing games. Both on the floor and on the bed. No one ever thought anything of it.

I had many visits over at my friends houses where their brothers or sisters would walk around shirtless or with a bra on. I had many a times when relatives or friends of my friends would visit from another country or state and walk around again shirtless or in their comfy house clothes.

Was it the bed that made it scandalous? Why is it not scandalous when our kids are at the beach with their friends and family in bikinis and shorts in lounge chairs or towels? Not to mention along side of total strangers.

Is it scandalous that siblings wear minimal clothing in their homes as well?

When does it become perverse and who deems it so?

In the summer time, many men walk around shirtless, sit in the park, ride their bikes etc...should a parent be investigated because they allowed their young child to be around said men?

Should every home be investigated that has kids interacting in their bedrooms?

I find this such a waste of ink, time, energy and money? Child services investigating a family on a picture where no one is even TOUCHING one another? Seriously? Why not investigate a real issue? Why not invest time on real abuse?

This is a scene from many a homes from NYC to LA, from Michigan to North Carolina, from Columbia, Puerto Rico or Dominican Republic, from Hawaii to Cambodia. Any place in the world where young people interact...this has happened.

My daughter had numerous occasions where she slept over at her friend's house and their siblings had other friends or cousins there. both younger and older in age and they did the same thing as I did, lounge around a room, a den or a living room talking, playing games or music or watching television. One of my oldest friends who is like a sister to me has two older boys and they had their Football teammates over all the time that would walk around shirtless and be in the kids rooms while the adults hung out elsewhere.

I have never felt that allowing those moments both in my life and in my daughter's life to have been poor judgment. To have your children with their siblings and their friends in the same room to Me is normal.

Young people, again I say investing time in close proximity is normal. They lay on each others shoulders, hold each others arms, lay on their legs, invade each others personal space just plain goof around. in their regular clothes, in shorts, in pajamas in whatever.
I did it, my daughter did and still does it and my nieces, nephews and their friends still do the same.
Should we all be investigated as well?

Adults stop being so disgusting, so ridiculous, so perverse, so prudish and get a life.

What do you have to say?

huffingtonpost.com

Sex Education

Look at the subject matter I chose to speak on of all days, a Sunday. To many this is the Lords day to me it’s another wonderful opportunity to talk with our children.

Sex is a touchy subject for many, just the word alone or sight of it written somewhere causes anxiety but for me it was and still is as easy as pie, why? Because Sex Education in my home began since my daughter was born.

When I make this statement, what do I mean? I mean I didn't wait to read a book or have an awkward sit down or have an age specific revelation about sex.

We are born sexual beings, we get aroused at different ages for different reasons and it should be ok to be comfortable with our bodies and what happens to them as we are growing and maturing.
This idea of "the talk" is very antiquated and if we as parents think our little ones are not aware of sex at a younger age year after year than we are fooling ourselves.

My daughter came home in sixth grade and told me what the different color bracelets meant. At the time girls were using bracelets as means to let boys know what sex acts they did or were willing to perform. She would share the goings on in the bathrooms or after school in the parks or friends’ houses. This was all during her junior High School years!!!
In her H.S. years my daughter was the one who taught me what “toss the salad” meant (relates to type of oral act in sex) feel free to look it up. This conversation was while we watched some music videos, any time any place.

These are just a few examples of the variety of things we have discussed in the past 18 years.
Since she could speak she knew the proper names of both her body parts and her fathers. From the time she began to ask questions or notice things we have had our talks. Not a specific designated time but surely age appropriate. If we were walking in the street she saw couple kissing we talked, if we watched a video and the girls were dancing on a pole we talked. A simulated sex act scene in a movie, we talked. Our drives to school, at the Laundromat any place any time; constant Communication, respect and honesty.

And if you are not comfortable then find a way to get comfortable quickly. Shows about Teen moms and videos and friends shouldn't be where our children get there information. It can be a tool of course but not a source.
Age does not matter but age appropriate language does. There is no room for shyness.

This is Your Sex Education.

What other tools and resources do you think are needed? As added incentive I have included some links that touch this same topic in a variety of ways and ages. See for yourself; let me know what you think. Happy Sunday!

Sex related topics

http://www.cafemom.com/group/advice/forums/read/19163965/Sex_talk_too_soon_Or_press_anyway
http://www.cafemom.com/group/advice/forums/read/18939084/How_to_Keep_Your_Kid_a_Virgin_Until_College
http://nymag.com/thecut/2013/12/kids-struggle-with-platonic-friendship-too.html?om_rid=AADYCs&om_mid=_BSoOlUB82zLtg6
http://www.cafemom.com/group/advice/forums/read/19151120/My_10_year_old_asked_me_what_humping_is_Help?ct=search_grouppost
http://www.cafemom.com/group/advice/forums/read/19398454/Teenage_sex
http://www.cafemom.com/group/33200/forums/read/19402641/WWYD_My_16yo_is_dating_a_40yo

Helpful resources

http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/feelings/questions_sex.html
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/parents/talking-kids-about-sex-sexuality-37962.htm