I see my Value is still Less than Yours

"If you have a problem, please feel free to come to me. We can discuss anything and come to a reasonable solution."

How many times have women heard that before? Either at work or in school? How many times have you been told you are encouraged to speak up, only to be labeled difficult, uncooperative or bitchy once you have? I want to discuss two things and get you really thinking about their impact on your life, your daughter's life, your wife's, your mother's or your sister's.

nc-skinny-jeans-ban-proposed

illustration by the sweetestthingblog.com

The countless articles and discussions on dress codes and how Women must cover up in order not to distract their male counter parts. I'm suppose to walk around in a sack because some dude can't stop looking at me as a sexual object. I'm suppose to hide my shape because it may arouse my co-worker. My daughter can't wear her workout clothes after class because her classmate might feel he has the right to comment inappropriately. I have to pick up a store flyer that shows me a variety of swimsuit looks for "your body type" and the models are six through eight year olds! 

You are going to sit and read this and say "it doesn't affect me?" You aren't finding a problem with this? How males react to my body is my fault? It's not the fault of continued allowed mindset of male righteousness? Females can't wear a piece of clothing because males can't control themselves. That sounds so ridiculous. How about instead of banning teaching respect for women's bodies?

Yes yes I hear the chatter now "oh but women dress to get our attention, they reveal what they have so we can admire it and approach them." That may be true and it is part of the male female interaction  but it still doesn't give a male the right to tell me how I should dress. Men wear whatever they want and women aren't disrespecting them or degrading them at every turn. Let's think about that, tell me what you feel about banning clothing items. Will it really solve the deeper issues?

illustration by hub pages.com

presidential-proclamation-national-equal-pay-day-2016

illustration by engagemichigan.org

Equal pay...
For every dollar a male makes a female makes seventy nine cents. Think about that for a minute.
You have a son and a daughter both working hard both striving for similar achievements in life but your son will reach his end game faster. You have two friends both single both saving the same amount of money a week but one can't even afford to join you on that vacation you are so ready to book. You have two single parents that are now starting over but one has to down size their home because they can't afford the payments. The examples are endless I am an example myself.

When my daughter's father and I split up the only one who had a full blown lifestyle change was me. He still had his hobbies and his extras. While my friends were taking vacations and going out every weekend I was wondering how I was going to now stretch my paycheck to cover my bills. While they commented on what a great job I had  and the fact I only had one child none thought to think "she doesn't make the same amount of me as I do."

illustration by cdelf.org

Twenty one cents, that's the difference between you going away with your family and me staying in with mine. Twenty one cents is the difference between your kids going to summer camp and mine having to just stay at home. Twenty one cents is the difference between you building a nest egg and me barely surviving. Honestly think about that. Think about the many households run by women who  have to stretch what they have just to stay afloat. Also think about some have an additional strike of being a women of color.

Think about how hard the women in your life work, think about your little girl and all her dreams. Imagine how they are being taken advantage of or will be taken advantage of at some point in their lives. Will you continue to stand for that?

I see my Value is still Less than Yours. Start a conversation.

Always stress free xo
Mari

Who is More Perverted?

I wasn't going to invest time in this until last week when I read the latest on the story.

Who is really more perverted, the people in this photo or the ADULT(S) who saw or see this photo and find a problem?

Whoever saw this picture and saw something sexual is either a prude or someone who grew up alone without siblings, friends or family. If that is the case, then they have been living in a cave for a very long time.

I would like to not believe that culture, race or anything of the sort is the reason behind this outrage but all the commotion makes me question what else can it be?

I won't take the liberty and say I speak for most but I believe I speak for many when I say that even I have pictures that look similar to that in some way, as do numerous friends and other family members.

As a teen or young adult with younger or older siblings, who hasn't been in a room just relaxing on the bed talking or playing games? Who hasn't walked around their home or places they feel comfortable in without a T-shirt on if your a male and in house clothes if you a female?

Who hasn't had sleepovers? Who hasn't had friends over to their pools? Who hasn't had a group of kids of a variety of ages just hanging around doing nothing?

I had many a days where my male family members and their friends would be in same room as the girls shirtless watching television, listening to music or playing games. Both on the floor and on the bed. No one ever thought anything of it.

I had many visits over at my friends houses where their brothers or sisters would walk around shirtless or with a bra on. I had many a times when relatives or friends of my friends would visit from another country or state and walk around again shirtless or in their comfy house clothes.

Was it the bed that made it scandalous? Why is it not scandalous when our kids are at the beach with their friends and family in bikinis and shorts in lounge chairs or towels? Not to mention along side of total strangers.

Is it scandalous that siblings wear minimal clothing in their homes as well?

When does it become perverse and who deems it so?

In the summer time, many men walk around shirtless, sit in the park, ride their bikes etc...should a parent be investigated because they allowed their young child to be around said men?

Should every home be investigated that has kids interacting in their bedrooms?

I find this such a waste of ink, time, energy and money? Child services investigating a family on a picture where no one is even TOUCHING one another? Seriously? Why not investigate a real issue? Why not invest time on real abuse?

This is a scene from many a homes from NYC to LA, from Michigan to North Carolina, from Columbia, Puerto Rico or Dominican Republic, from Hawaii to Cambodia. Any place in the world where young people interact...this has happened.

My daughter had numerous occasions where she slept over at her friend's house and their siblings had other friends or cousins there. both younger and older in age and they did the same thing as I did, lounge around a room, a den or a living room talking, playing games or music or watching television. One of my oldest friends who is like a sister to me has two older boys and they had their Football teammates over all the time that would walk around shirtless and be in the kids rooms while the adults hung out elsewhere.

I have never felt that allowing those moments both in my life and in my daughter's life to have been poor judgment. To have your children with their siblings and their friends in the same room to Me is normal.

Young people, again I say investing time in close proximity is normal. They lay on each others shoulders, hold each others arms, lay on their legs, invade each others personal space just plain goof around. in their regular clothes, in shorts, in pajamas in whatever.
I did it, my daughter did and still does it and my nieces, nephews and their friends still do the same.
Should we all be investigated as well?

Adults stop being so disgusting, so ridiculous, so perverse, so prudish and get a life.

What do you have to say?

huffingtonpost.com