Love Thyself

TRUTH HURTS

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone!

While most will be posting cute hearts and candies I want to address what everyone is talking about and share my perspective as a mother to my own Beyonce but first lets talk about the original.

Facts:

-Her estimated net worth is $250 Million dollars

-Business woman, Wife, Mother, Song writer, Singer, Dancer oh and...Actress

-Destiny's Child was one of the world's Best Selling Girl Groups of All times

-She has earned twenty Grammy Awards

-She has sold over 118 Million records Solo and 60 Million with Destiny's Child

-Her songs touch on all subject matters from bubble gum anthems to raw reality and passionate love

I'm going to stop here because I think the message is clear. She is a woman of Power and Influence. She has earned everything she has received and she deserves respect for her hustle. I loved her Super Bowl performance as I have always loved all her performances. She gives you 100% each and every time. No excuses.

So why was White America shocked at her latest performance? Were they not aware she is and has always been an African American Woman? She's been on this earth for over 30 plus years it didn't just happen over night. Because she is light skin that fact is over looked? Or is it because her appearance doesn't scare them like Venus and Serena apparently do? Wait...is it because she made songs like Single Ladies or Run the World and their kids and they themselves too felt it was catchy tune and "safe"?

Was she not in some sort of "Formation" then?

Super Bowl Sunday she spoke one very important aspect of her journey and Truth. She told you her history in one entire song, things she has always talked about in one way or another but because it was slapping White America in the face all at once she was totally out of line. Why? Super Bowl Sunday is sacred to only one race? Was her Truth so offensive that it shouldn't be heard or displayed so the whole world can see?

The response to her Truth speaks volumes of how far we haven't come. 

illustration by picture quotes.com

Pride in who you are should never be a bad thing! When Garth Brooks or Dolly Parton speak of their Truths who's offended? How about Johnny Cash or Jerry Lee Lewis? Let's bring it closer how about Aerosmith or Bruce Springsteen? I am extremely open minded when it comes to music. Music is Universal I love all types of music including these aforementioned artists. I love how they shared their Truths, their experiences in life as seen through Their eyes. I am not offended by songs addressing their love of horses or ranch life or cheating spouse or their love affair with drugs and alcohol. The songs depict the Truth of the Artist.

She pointed out the injustices that have occurred and continue to occur to her people. The killings, the discrimination, the labels, the less than attitude...she laid it all out. Was she lying? What part of her song was a lie? Is it a lie because it is not the White America version? Minorities, again a label given to certain people by others who feel Superior are just plain and simply Tired. 

Myself included. I am tired of White America deflecting their low self esteem on me and those who look like me. I am tired of the labels and constant need to "try" to somehow justify all the in your face wrongs that occur daily. I am tired of having to have conversations about "the color" of someone's skin. 

Don't tell me or anyone else who has been treated poorly to "just move on". Don't disrespect the long hard journey my ancestors had by saying things like "it wasn't me". Yes it may very well not be you per say but it was your grandfather and those before him. The Civil Rights movement was in the late 50's early 60's. This is my mother's time this is not that long ago and where are we now? 

I began with a statement I have my own lil Beyonce. Why should my daughter in the year 2016 be stopped by the police because her and a group of her friends are walking down the street and "look" suspicious? Why should my daughter be told she should straighten her hair because it "will look" better? Better to who? Why did my daughter have to hear comments about her features at the age of 6? How cruel and self righteous can White America be? 

Love Thyself!!!

Love Thyself! Focus on yourself, better yourself change your history and Truths. Stop trying to change people that are not like you. We don't want to be you. We are proud of who we are. 

Love Thyself! Encourage differences and own up to past mistakes. It will really be appreciated. 

We can never move forward if the past is ignored, lied about and not acknowledged. Life just doesn't work that way the Planet never forgets.

Now let me be very clear. This is my Truth. I am writing to speak to that man or woman who just doesn't respect and get the magnitude of what took place Super Bowl Sunday. I am speaking to those that feel they were "disrespected". I am speaking to those I and the rest of my people "offend". I am speaking to those that were happy to sing "who run the world, Girls" but just don't want it to be again a Minority Girl. If what I have addressed isn't who you are than the labels don't apply and this should be a conversation starter. If what I have addressed rubs you the wrong way then again its a conversation starter and should start with you looking in the mirror asking "why does a non white person loving themselves effect and offend me?"

Thanks Beyonce for the following line because my daughter will do exactly that...

"Always stay Gracious best Revenge is your Paper" 

What are your thoughts? Are you tired of all the race talks and feel its time to get "over it" or do you think the talks haven't been wide and long enough and more needs to be done? Start a conversation, share your thoughts and experiences.

Always stress free xo

Mari

What will it take for us to be Civil Human Beings?

On this beautiful Sunday Morning after hours and hours of rain falling in NYC I woke with several thoughts, the same thoughts I've been carrying for days. And on this morning especially I am sad to be aware that on this Father's Day there are families who will have awoken with a Father that was recently brutally killed for no apparent reason other than the wrong skin color. For you I wish peace, love and that your memories pull you through.

Loss of life happens daily this I am aware of after all tragedy doesn't take a break but recently the day to day stories, pictures and blatant disregard for life have begun to chip away at my belief in Humanity.

illustration by thedailyquotes.com

Charleston is still not a wake up call? What will it take? Killing innocent people in a place of worship? A place where everyone is welcomed? A place of God? Here is religion again front and center, everyone is a child of God yet these people still not so in someone else's eyes that he had to wipe them away.
So many excuses used to justify taking a human life
-protecting myself
-protecting my property
-protecting my beliefs
-protecting my kind
-protecting my country
-protecting my rights
-afraid for my safety
-looking suspicious
-keeping order
Where does it end?

I will not even touch the "right to carry a gun" red flags this latest story has for if I do I will just be writing for days but how about we keep in mind all the recent killings involving guns in the wrong hands officially and unofficially.

Why? Why do you hate us so? Why does our skin color evoke such hate and dislike in your heart? Why do you feel you are better than me or my children or my family or my friends? Why am I tolerated in certain aspects but excluded in others? Why do you lay in the sun to get a tan but I'm already the color your trying to achieve and I'm not good enough? Why? Do you even have an answer? And if you do is it even justified or humane?

I can't imagine there being a humane answer. A justified response other than perhaps just years and years of old beliefs still being carried on by people today. Old thoughts spilling into our society even after years of debunking some of these beliefs.

illustration by brainy quotes

I feel as if I am living in a world where we are literally killing each other off and no one is batting an eye. As long as it doesn't affect you, your money or anything else you consider yours you just don't care. I feel we are continuing to repeat history as if nothing was ever learned as if those past mistakes never happened.

I am not overtly religious but I think that humanity is making God sad. I think he is questioning what is happening to all his children and finds himself asking some tough questions
-I gave them so much freedom, why do they use it so poorly?
-I gave them life, why do they feel the right to take someone else's away?
-I made them in my image, where did the hate for some come from?
-I gave them the ability to acquire comforts in abundance, why the greed? Why the entitlement?
-Did I make a huge mistake, should I wipe the slate clean and start over again?

Can you imagine that? Can you imagine that our actions, that our choices, that our selfish acts as human beings could cause our extinction? That as human beings we are such a disappointment we can bring about thoughts of being wiped away?

illustration by whispering love.org

I always go back and connect to being a mother. To the joy I felt at giving birth to the love of my life. To the pride I feel as I watch her grow and be kind, productive, loving and giving. To the smile she brings to my face and her love that fills my heart. As her mother I couldn't have asked for anything more. As a Human Being am I experiencing the same things? As Human Beings are we evoking these same emotions in the Higher Power?

On this Father's Day as you brunch, worship, stroll, hug, kiss and any other actions that you will be sharing with this special man in your life, remember that someone out there is not able to do the same thing you have the right to do today because of their skin color. Because someone woke up and decided they had the right to take another's life away.

What will it take for us to be Civil Human Beings? Share your thoughts.

Always stress free xo.

Who is Responsible? The Race Cards are on the Table

Happy Sunday to all, I will be enjoying another beautiful sunny day here in NYC but I wanted to leave you with something to think about today. If we continue to not learn from the past, what future will we really have?

Today I went for a walk after work. It was my first walk of the year, this winter was a mess totally kept me working out indoors.
I love my walks, they allow my thoughts to flow freely just like the breeze flows freely above, beyond and through the trees. During my walk I was overcome by a sadness and a realization that I had never honored before.

As I watched young and old, women and men and a vast mixture of races all walking among themselves I had a huge question come to mind. Now I want to be clear...these are my thoughts and I want to share them with respect.That my purpose in every word I write, every post I share is to start a conversation. To provoke questions, thoughts, understanding, some more questions and some more thoughts that all lead to talks. This was a bit difficult for me to address but here it goes.

I am a minority woman of Hispanic decent. Even using these words gets tricky if you look at Wikipedia. I am caramel skin in completion, I was born in the United States but my family comes from the Dominican Republic, a Caribbean Island next to Haiti. They came here by choice, to build a better life because their homeland was a poor country. Their dreams or at least for some of them was to build and return to their country. That choice afforded me the life I have today, the life I've lived and the freedoms I've experienced. But, as I read the papers, watch the news and talk with my daughter I see another reality.

illustration by viartis.com

I see a reality of a certain group of people who were taken from their homes, had no say in the matter, were ripped away from loved ones and bought to another country to do the work that lazy people didn't want to do. Again I will repeat myself...taken away from their country forced to do the lazy man's work. Not approached as humans with an offer of a better life, not with an option to say no and not with an option to say yes and be treated humanely.

Why is no one thinking about that in this day and age? Why is no one owning up to that most important fact to the fullest extent all these years later? Again I repeat...taken away from their country. Then! when perhaps a chance has presented itself to gain some dignity gain some respect some equality it is met with death, destruction, more humiliation and no humanity. Why? Why are so few disturbed by this and so many quick to shrug off and walk away?

Why is my skin color less than or worth less than another? Why am I a minority? Why am I not the right type for your standards? And why are your standards the norm? I ask why am I because in the world I apparently live in I am either White or Black. And though my history is not of those that were taken from their land I feel a connection to their poor treatment and blatant disrespect. Today I am a voice for that story.

How can nothing have changed in so many years? Why do some feel they are still better than others? Why can I see small children all play together with no concept of differences but somehow they have parents who feel the need to focus on that and then point it out? Why are the young so accepting and the old so bitter?

illustration by theunrecordedman.wordpress.com

To find the music, the clothes, the culture as a whole acceptable to mimic and follow but not the actual people is disturbing to say the least. To use a variety of tools to make yourselves look a "certain" way but again not accept those of us who actually look this way is madness.

Are we not the same, really? If your child needed a heart transplant or a kidney would you reject it and watch them die because it didn't come from a person with the "right" skin color or background? If three teens died in a car crash and burned, would they not all look the same until they were identified through their teeth?!!! If your spouse was in distress would you not want them to be helped by whoever was the closest? Would you really tell that person of a different color or background to leave your loved one to suffer?

This is the reality...that backwards thinking that some peoples ancestors had many moons ago and bought to our way of living is wrong and inhumane. It was wrong when they took people from their homes then and it is wrong now when people are being shot and killed right in front of our faces. Who is responsible? Who is going to step up? Who or what is going to stop this? No one is better than...we literally are all the same. If I am to throw religion into this and so many of us are always praising the "Lord" are we not made in his image? Did he make a mistake? Was he wrong when he choose to use different shades, forms etc...to make his people?

illustration by jezebel.com

I am a mother, a good mother in the sense I strive to teach my child respect and love and kindness to all. In the sense that I raised my child to do her best and work hard. I am a mother figure to anyone who needs it. The kid next door, the kids in the park, the kids in the shelter I volunteer at. I am a mother. No one should ever feel they have the right to tell me my daughter is less than. No one should look at my daughter and see less than. But some do, because of her skin color because of her hair because of her background. Am I furious? of course, wouldn't you if your child was thought of as less than?

So I challenge us today, every mom who reads this to look at their child or their loved ones for that matter and imagine them being looked upon or treated as less than. It starts with one change, one thought, one light! Shine brightly as a human made in the image of '"God"

What are your thoughts, experiences, shares?

Always stress free xo.