License to Kill, Literally

Peace and Love on this Sunday morning.

illustration by quotesgram.com

It has been an extremely sad week for Humanity but is it really anything new? And the fact that I can so easily think that isn't that even sadder?

Alton Sterling

Akai Gurley

Tanisha Anderson

Dante Parker

Sandra Bland

Rumain Brisbon

Jerame Reid

Tony Robinson

Philando Castile

Phillip White

Walter Scott

Freddie Gray

Tamir Rice

Michael Brown, Jr.

John Crawford III

Eric Garner

Dontre Hamilton

Trayvon Martin

Tanisha Anderson

Malissa Williams

Yvette Smith

Miriam Carey

Shelly Frey

Darnisha Harris

Shantel Davis

Rekia Boyd

Shareese Francis

Aiyana Stanley Jones age 7!

Tarika Wilson

This is a list of names of African American people killed by police officers, with the exception of one in the last eight years! This is a random listing not a specific breakdown of for example 2015 which is over 900 and of 2016 which last I read was past 50. One too many names on this list one too many lives carelessly taken away, simply because their lives didn't matter to those that pulled the trigger.

I'm not going to invest energy on trying to sway anyone's mind on what life matters the most...ALL LIVES MATTER. Everyone wants to go home to their families. We are all the same we just come in different shades. This conversation is about racism across the board but because of the in your face White Cop vs Person of Color at the other end of that gun we can no longer hide from the truth.

If you can't admit that something is systematically wrong with our Law Enforcement across the board then you are living under a rock or you are part of the problem. If you can't admit that racism still affects many things today still you are part of the problem.

In one week we saw two African American men get killed by the police and then we saw five police officers loose their lives as well because one African American man got feed up with the injustice and brutality that people of color have suffered for years. We don't know these officers, we don't know if they were corrupt or if they honored the code to Serve and Protect all. We just know they serve as a symbol of pent up anger, frustration and pain.

illustration by pinterest

All these people had people who loved them, who will miss and cry for them for a long time to come. Fathers, Mothers, Sisters, Brothers, somebody's Somebody!

Racism exists it hasn't gone away or eased up it's just presented to us in different forms and some of us just go along with the program. A police officer "joking" about he would have shot Philando Castile five times instead of four on his Face Book page isn't funny, it's a blatant disregard of a HUMAN LIFE.

Being upset at Jesse Williams for speaking the truth from his perspective, experience and history is disrespectful to a vast majority of people. These experiences aren't made up, they aren't a movie Steven Spielberg put together or a book that George R. R. Martin wrote they are history.

Jesse Williams speech full video here: variety.com
Jesse Williams speech transcript here: time.com
Officer Jones FB share: huffingtonpost

taking it to back in the days...
Lynching in America: washingtonpost.com

For way too long the practice of hiding behind "authority", having a legal License to Kill and having a certain skin color has been the only requirement to trample over people thought of as lesser than. For way too long people have wanted to continue to deny the wrongs in the past and behave as if they have no merit in our current lives but how can they not when we turn on the television or log onto our Social Media and see otherwise?

Africans were taken away from their land, forced to work for others, beaten, raped and killed. Told they were property and treated like nothing. Spent years and years going from being called one name to another generation after generation trying to receive the basics of life. Protested, marched, boycotted and fought still to really get nothing. My parents come from the Dominican Republic, I have dark skin. There were slaves where my parents come from, we are all connected.

illustration by quotes.lifehack.org

Today you allow us to play "your sports" because we make you money. Today certain people of color are more acceptable than others. Today still in some way or some how we should "know our place" You want to get as dark as me so you go to a tanning salon, you want to inject your a** with God knows what because of the girl in the video, you want to be like me as Jesse said "like a costume".

If you are not enraged by these events, if your heart isn't broken by all the blood shed, if you can't picture this happening to you again...you are part of the problem. Every time my daughter goes out now with her best friends I have to fear they will get stopped as they have in the past simply for being Young African American and Latino kids. Every time they go to visit their other friends in other certain neighborhoods they get stopped and asked what business they have there. Are you serious, what business? In New York City where so much diversity is the norm? You are stopping kids because you think they don't belong in that neighborhood? Kids that don't look like you terrify you?

So now that five White Police Officers have been killed, what are we going to do? Is the License to Kill mentality going to remain the same? Are we finally going to be heard? Are we finally going to see changes or do more people have to die? Does your kid have to be the one to come home and share with you a scary encounter with someone who thought they were threatening in order for you to take part in this conversation? Tamir Rice could have been anyone's son. All our kids have played or play in the park with swords or play guns or what have you in their hands.

illustration by quotesgram.com

This is a Humanity problem not just Black Lives, Blue Lives White Lives, Brown Lives or whatever other hashtags pop up on Social Media. This is a Humanity problem because until we all view one another as equal racism and injustice will never go away.

Again I urge mothers to stand together to view everyone's child as their child and image the pain of not having them around. I can't even imagine my daughter being gone just because her skin is not white and someone felt threatened by her so they deemed her disposable. I can't imagine why anyone would be viewed disposable because of the color of their skin Period.

Let's start talking and educating ourselves. Let's start demanding that those who swear to Protect and Serve us get better training and form better relationships in the communities they patrol. Share your thoughts, experiences and ideas.

Always stress free and more today with love xo,
Mari

Take the Blinders Off!

Good Morning loves, hope everyone is living their best selves. I had a different post I wanted to share today but recent news events changed my mind. I want to touch on a few things without ranting but instead sparking a pause in your life and some rational thoughts. Mothers and Fathers we owe that to our children.

Let me begin with the circus that is Donald Trump.
I can't say enough that I am not a political person, never have been. I just believe in fairness however we achieve it. What ever "party" is going to be fair is fine with me, I am still confused as to how we are the "United States" and have such huge division in politics to begin with. How instead of finding a balance its all or nothing at the expense of many. That is not "United" to me. I became more mindful of debates and such when my daughter became really interested in the Obama run.

She would have us sit and watch and discuss them afterwards. It made me take my blinders off at this countries racists views and proud of it attitude. It may not be in your face per say but it was and is there. It's always the same sentence, "I'm not racist I have such and such friends." Just because you say you have a "friend" doesn't mean you view them as your equal.

illustration by pinterest.com

Respectful of the Republican Party, how can you in your right conscious vote for a man who is clearly spreading hate and fear? Who promotes division and smiles at you as he does it? Who says he will make this a better country but you may not be part of making it better because though you may also be a republican he is talking about your family or your country of origin. How do you stand by that? Are pride and ego more valuable than actual human lives? Does the end justify the means?
nytimes.com
What do you think? Would you rather follow just because that is what you associate with or would you instead try something new?

My next light the match is the story of the Stamford sexual assault case.
Assaulting anyone for any reason is unfortunate in itself but sexual assault for me has an extra sting. Anyone can recover from a punch in the face or a real bad beating but a violation of your body so personal lives on forever. No matter how much time passes you always carry it with you. I can't image how that must feel but I can empathize. So to read and hear this young man's father try to brush under the rug "20 minutes of actions" as if it was or is nothing is sickening. Her life has value just like he thinks his sons does. A sentence as light as what he received is an additional slap in the face to the victim.
cnn.com

Which brings me to my perspective that certain people can get away with some things and others can't. White privilege.
Some people can say whatever they like and its taken as a joke or behave in a certain way and a blind eye is turned. This link I'm sharing shows us a different outcome to a "sexual assault" I want you to share what you think cbsnews.com

illustration by inspirationboost.com

Lastly, I want to acknowledge the transition of Muhammed Ali. I never watched him fight or sat and watched an old fight but I have watched some of his interviews and what sticks with me is his strength. Not as a fighter, but as a man. A man who never wavered in his beliefs. A man who never went with what was popular but instead with what was right, at any cost. From his refusal to enlist to getting rid of his Olympic Gold Medal, his strength shined from within. Equality, respect, love and kindness those are the words that come to mind when I think of him. How can I be "good enough" in your eyes for one thing but not in another? That is the question he always made you think about.

Take the Blinders off, question your beliefs. Were they handed down to you from your family? Did you come to these conclusions on your own? Is there room for change, is there room for new questions? Start a conversation.

Always stress free xo,

Mari

White Washing

Hey my lovelies, hope everyone has been doing well. I am in countdown mode to my lil mama's 21st Birthday!!! Yes 21, I just can't believe it. Where did the time go literally? I mean I just don't know what happened, but I do. Life.

Life happened.

As I prepare to celebrate such a huge milestone in both our lives I can't help but sit and recount all the wonderful memories of these past 21 years. All the lessons geez, how this wonderful girl has taught me about living. How she has taught me to open my eyes about man kind.

When you become a parent you can't look away at injustice you can't look away from another mother's pain. You can't make believe you don't see things and you can't continue to accept what most people call "the norm".

I have been following our presidential debates and looking at our candidates and just continue to shake my head at what I hear. I continue to be disappointed and my ears continue to hurt from all the garbage coming in.

illustration by youtube.com

Then I move on to World news and local news and it doesn't get much better. Police continue to kill off men like the are knocking down bowling balls. Mother's crying because their children can't get proper medical care, immigrant issues, education issues, sexist issues it just goes on and on. Then I watch a beautiful award show called Black Girls Rock and see such beautiful, intelligent, giving and inspiring women and ask myself...

What is in store for my child? My now grown adult child but my child none the less? What more will she bare witness to in her lifetime? 911, school massacres, poisoned water, hair discrimination, body shaming, gender discrimination, so called unheard of diseases popping up in places no one would expect endless sorrow.

Whenever lil mama and I have our talks about life and the world she always comments on what she views will be necessary in order for human life to prosper. One is that the old has to be totally removed in order for the new to take over. To her that means all the people who for generations have been making the decisions for all without considering all as equals. For her it means total removal of those benefiting at the expense of others.

She always points out that nothing happens just because. That some times "bad things" take place because they benefit someone's purpose. Drugs and alcohol in certain neighborhoods, lack of educational funding in certain communities, unequal pay or unequal treatment. These things allow the  powerful to remain powerful and the perception that we can all make it if we just work hard untrue and unattainable.  Reality check... Something a parent doesn't want to hear.

illustration by fynnexp.com

Talking to my daughter is a breath of fresh air because I have always been the "no that just can't be" type of person but when you are raising a minority child in a country that makes sure you never forget you are a so called "minority" it makes it very difficult to walk around with your head in the clouds. She knows I want to hold on to the belief of fairness and looking at things from a bigger perspective. She laughs with me and sometimes at me because I always say "well Oprah made it" to which she replies "yeah only as far as they want to allow her to".

Roll models...even Barbie adding some changes to her selection of dolls was a problem?!

So here I am nearing year 21 of my parenting journey and it is my child who is now guiding me to the ins and outs of life as we are currently living it. It is no longer I holding her hand as we cross the street or I filling out her medical papers, it is she who has to figure out how to cross the street while she texts her friends and it is she who has to shop around for Affordable Health care. It isn't about me being proud to check off Hispanic on her Tae Kwon Do Black Belt application but instead about her worrying if her last name will shut the doors to that job she's been hoping for. It isn't about me seeing my little girl growing up into a beautiful woman but about my little girl being held back because she is a minority woman.

I've been blessed to have been able to give my daughter a wonderful, safe, happy, peaceful, loving life. She's had her needs met and her wants have been negotiable. She's had awesome experiences and plenty of freedom. The rules didn't stop her from enjoying her teenage years and her independence didn't break my patience. We both stand here today in a great place.

illustration by hippo quotes.com

This is not a post to bash but a post to start talking. To start looking for ways to make small changes. To educate ourselves and to accept the flaws we have been trying to hide. To use the freedoms we so proudly boost about to help others. To stop exclusion start loving all mankind and to practice "liberty and justice for all".

What are your thoughts? What were the beliefs you grew up with? Did they change when you became a parent? Are some of us just whining or is there some truth to all the chatter? Please comment, let's talk.

My lil mama always says that truth covered in humor is easier pill to swallow for some, so she shared this with me...I share it with you.

Always stress free xo

 Mari

Who is Responsible? The Race Cards are on the Table

Happy Sunday to all, I will be enjoying another beautiful sunny day here in NYC but I wanted to leave you with something to think about today. If we continue to not learn from the past, what future will we really have?

Today I went for a walk after work. It was my first walk of the year, this winter was a mess totally kept me working out indoors.
I love my walks, they allow my thoughts to flow freely just like the breeze flows freely above, beyond and through the trees. During my walk I was overcome by a sadness and a realization that I had never honored before.

As I watched young and old, women and men and a vast mixture of races all walking among themselves I had a huge question come to mind. Now I want to be clear...these are my thoughts and I want to share them with respect.That my purpose in every word I write, every post I share is to start a conversation. To provoke questions, thoughts, understanding, some more questions and some more thoughts that all lead to talks. This was a bit difficult for me to address but here it goes.

I am a minority woman of Hispanic decent. Even using these words gets tricky if you look at Wikipedia. I am caramel skin in completion, I was born in the United States but my family comes from the Dominican Republic, a Caribbean Island next to Haiti. They came here by choice, to build a better life because their homeland was a poor country. Their dreams or at least for some of them was to build and return to their country. That choice afforded me the life I have today, the life I've lived and the freedoms I've experienced. But, as I read the papers, watch the news and talk with my daughter I see another reality.

illustration by viartis.com

I see a reality of a certain group of people who were taken from their homes, had no say in the matter, were ripped away from loved ones and bought to another country to do the work that lazy people didn't want to do. Again I will repeat myself...taken away from their country forced to do the lazy man's work. Not approached as humans with an offer of a better life, not with an option to say no and not with an option to say yes and be treated humanely.

Why is no one thinking about that in this day and age? Why is no one owning up to that most important fact to the fullest extent all these years later? Again I repeat...taken away from their country. Then! when perhaps a chance has presented itself to gain some dignity gain some respect some equality it is met with death, destruction, more humiliation and no humanity. Why? Why are so few disturbed by this and so many quick to shrug off and walk away?

Why is my skin color less than or worth less than another? Why am I a minority? Why am I not the right type for your standards? And why are your standards the norm? I ask why am I because in the world I apparently live in I am either White or Black. And though my history is not of those that were taken from their land I feel a connection to their poor treatment and blatant disrespect. Today I am a voice for that story.

How can nothing have changed in so many years? Why do some feel they are still better than others? Why can I see small children all play together with no concept of differences but somehow they have parents who feel the need to focus on that and then point it out? Why are the young so accepting and the old so bitter?

illustration by theunrecordedman.wordpress.com

To find the music, the clothes, the culture as a whole acceptable to mimic and follow but not the actual people is disturbing to say the least. To use a variety of tools to make yourselves look a "certain" way but again not accept those of us who actually look this way is madness.

Are we not the same, really? If your child needed a heart transplant or a kidney would you reject it and watch them die because it didn't come from a person with the "right" skin color or background? If three teens died in a car crash and burned, would they not all look the same until they were identified through their teeth?!!! If your spouse was in distress would you not want them to be helped by whoever was the closest? Would you really tell that person of a different color or background to leave your loved one to suffer?

This is the reality...that backwards thinking that some peoples ancestors had many moons ago and bought to our way of living is wrong and inhumane. It was wrong when they took people from their homes then and it is wrong now when people are being shot and killed right in front of our faces. Who is responsible? Who is going to step up? Who or what is going to stop this? No one is better than...we literally are all the same. If I am to throw religion into this and so many of us are always praising the "Lord" are we not made in his image? Did he make a mistake? Was he wrong when he choose to use different shades, forms etc...to make his people?

illustration by jezebel.com

I am a mother, a good mother in the sense I strive to teach my child respect and love and kindness to all. In the sense that I raised my child to do her best and work hard. I am a mother figure to anyone who needs it. The kid next door, the kids in the park, the kids in the shelter I volunteer at. I am a mother. No one should ever feel they have the right to tell me my daughter is less than. No one should look at my daughter and see less than. But some do, because of her skin color because of her hair because of her background. Am I furious? of course, wouldn't you if your child was thought of as less than?

So I challenge us today, every mom who reads this to look at their child or their loved ones for that matter and imagine them being looked upon or treated as less than. It starts with one change, one thought, one light! Shine brightly as a human made in the image of '"God"

What are your thoughts, experiences, shares?

Always stress free xo.