License to Kill, Literally

Peace and Love on this Sunday morning.

illustration by quotesgram.com

It has been an extremely sad week for Humanity but is it really anything new? And the fact that I can so easily think that isn't that even sadder?

Alton Sterling

Akai Gurley

Tanisha Anderson

Dante Parker

Sandra Bland

Rumain Brisbon

Jerame Reid

Tony Robinson

Philando Castile

Phillip White

Walter Scott

Freddie Gray

Tamir Rice

Michael Brown, Jr.

John Crawford III

Eric Garner

Dontre Hamilton

Trayvon Martin

Tanisha Anderson

Malissa Williams

Yvette Smith

Miriam Carey

Shelly Frey

Darnisha Harris

Shantel Davis

Rekia Boyd

Shareese Francis

Aiyana Stanley Jones age 7!

Tarika Wilson

This is a list of names of African American people killed by police officers, with the exception of one in the last eight years! This is a random listing not a specific breakdown of for example 2015 which is over 900 and of 2016 which last I read was past 50. One too many names on this list one too many lives carelessly taken away, simply because their lives didn't matter to those that pulled the trigger.

I'm not going to invest energy on trying to sway anyone's mind on what life matters the most...ALL LIVES MATTER. Everyone wants to go home to their families. We are all the same we just come in different shades. This conversation is about racism across the board but because of the in your face White Cop vs Person of Color at the other end of that gun we can no longer hide from the truth.

If you can't admit that something is systematically wrong with our Law Enforcement across the board then you are living under a rock or you are part of the problem. If you can't admit that racism still affects many things today still you are part of the problem.

In one week we saw two African American men get killed by the police and then we saw five police officers loose their lives as well because one African American man got feed up with the injustice and brutality that people of color have suffered for years. We don't know these officers, we don't know if they were corrupt or if they honored the code to Serve and Protect all. We just know they serve as a symbol of pent up anger, frustration and pain.

illustration by pinterest

All these people had people who loved them, who will miss and cry for them for a long time to come. Fathers, Mothers, Sisters, Brothers, somebody's Somebody!

Racism exists it hasn't gone away or eased up it's just presented to us in different forms and some of us just go along with the program. A police officer "joking" about he would have shot Philando Castile five times instead of four on his Face Book page isn't funny, it's a blatant disregard of a HUMAN LIFE.

Being upset at Jesse Williams for speaking the truth from his perspective, experience and history is disrespectful to a vast majority of people. These experiences aren't made up, they aren't a movie Steven Spielberg put together or a book that George R. R. Martin wrote they are history.

Jesse Williams speech full video here: variety.com
Jesse Williams speech transcript here: time.com
Officer Jones FB share: huffingtonpost

taking it to back in the days...
Lynching in America: washingtonpost.com

For way too long the practice of hiding behind "authority", having a legal License to Kill and having a certain skin color has been the only requirement to trample over people thought of as lesser than. For way too long people have wanted to continue to deny the wrongs in the past and behave as if they have no merit in our current lives but how can they not when we turn on the television or log onto our Social Media and see otherwise?

Africans were taken away from their land, forced to work for others, beaten, raped and killed. Told they were property and treated like nothing. Spent years and years going from being called one name to another generation after generation trying to receive the basics of life. Protested, marched, boycotted and fought still to really get nothing. My parents come from the Dominican Republic, I have dark skin. There were slaves where my parents come from, we are all connected.

illustration by quotes.lifehack.org

Today you allow us to play "your sports" because we make you money. Today certain people of color are more acceptable than others. Today still in some way or some how we should "know our place" You want to get as dark as me so you go to a tanning salon, you want to inject your a** with God knows what because of the girl in the video, you want to be like me as Jesse said "like a costume".

If you are not enraged by these events, if your heart isn't broken by all the blood shed, if you can't picture this happening to you again...you are part of the problem. Every time my daughter goes out now with her best friends I have to fear they will get stopped as they have in the past simply for being Young African American and Latino kids. Every time they go to visit their other friends in other certain neighborhoods they get stopped and asked what business they have there. Are you serious, what business? In New York City where so much diversity is the norm? You are stopping kids because you think they don't belong in that neighborhood? Kids that don't look like you terrify you?

So now that five White Police Officers have been killed, what are we going to do? Is the License to Kill mentality going to remain the same? Are we finally going to be heard? Are we finally going to see changes or do more people have to die? Does your kid have to be the one to come home and share with you a scary encounter with someone who thought they were threatening in order for you to take part in this conversation? Tamir Rice could have been anyone's son. All our kids have played or play in the park with swords or play guns or what have you in their hands.

illustration by quotesgram.com

This is a Humanity problem not just Black Lives, Blue Lives White Lives, Brown Lives or whatever other hashtags pop up on Social Media. This is a Humanity problem because until we all view one another as equal racism and injustice will never go away.

Again I urge mothers to stand together to view everyone's child as their child and image the pain of not having them around. I can't even imagine my daughter being gone just because her skin is not white and someone felt threatened by her so they deemed her disposable. I can't imagine why anyone would be viewed disposable because of the color of their skin Period.

Let's start talking and educating ourselves. Let's start demanding that those who swear to Protect and Serve us get better training and form better relationships in the communities they patrol. Share your thoughts, experiences and ideas.

Always stress free and more today with love xo,
Mari

Take the Blinders Off!

Good Morning loves, hope everyone is living their best selves. I had a different post I wanted to share today but recent news events changed my mind. I want to touch on a few things without ranting but instead sparking a pause in your life and some rational thoughts. Mothers and Fathers we owe that to our children.

Let me begin with the circus that is Donald Trump.
I can't say enough that I am not a political person, never have been. I just believe in fairness however we achieve it. What ever "party" is going to be fair is fine with me, I am still confused as to how we are the "United States" and have such huge division in politics to begin with. How instead of finding a balance its all or nothing at the expense of many. That is not "United" to me. I became more mindful of debates and such when my daughter became really interested in the Obama run.

She would have us sit and watch and discuss them afterwards. It made me take my blinders off at this countries racists views and proud of it attitude. It may not be in your face per say but it was and is there. It's always the same sentence, "I'm not racist I have such and such friends." Just because you say you have a "friend" doesn't mean you view them as your equal.

illustration by pinterest.com

Respectful of the Republican Party, how can you in your right conscious vote for a man who is clearly spreading hate and fear? Who promotes division and smiles at you as he does it? Who says he will make this a better country but you may not be part of making it better because though you may also be a republican he is talking about your family or your country of origin. How do you stand by that? Are pride and ego more valuable than actual human lives? Does the end justify the means?
nytimes.com
What do you think? Would you rather follow just because that is what you associate with or would you instead try something new?

My next light the match is the story of the Stamford sexual assault case.
Assaulting anyone for any reason is unfortunate in itself but sexual assault for me has an extra sting. Anyone can recover from a punch in the face or a real bad beating but a violation of your body so personal lives on forever. No matter how much time passes you always carry it with you. I can't image how that must feel but I can empathize. So to read and hear this young man's father try to brush under the rug "20 minutes of actions" as if it was or is nothing is sickening. Her life has value just like he thinks his sons does. A sentence as light as what he received is an additional slap in the face to the victim.
cnn.com

Which brings me to my perspective that certain people can get away with some things and others can't. White privilege.
Some people can say whatever they like and its taken as a joke or behave in a certain way and a blind eye is turned. This link I'm sharing shows us a different outcome to a "sexual assault" I want you to share what you think cbsnews.com

illustration by inspirationboost.com

Lastly, I want to acknowledge the transition of Muhammed Ali. I never watched him fight or sat and watched an old fight but I have watched some of his interviews and what sticks with me is his strength. Not as a fighter, but as a man. A man who never wavered in his beliefs. A man who never went with what was popular but instead with what was right, at any cost. From his refusal to enlist to getting rid of his Olympic Gold Medal, his strength shined from within. Equality, respect, love and kindness those are the words that come to mind when I think of him. How can I be "good enough" in your eyes for one thing but not in another? That is the question he always made you think about.

Take the Blinders off, question your beliefs. Were they handed down to you from your family? Did you come to these conclusions on your own? Is there room for change, is there room for new questions? Start a conversation.

Always stress free xo,

Mari

Another Hair Chat

No statement can ring more true than unless something affects you you really do walk around unaware.
There has been huge chatter for some time now about Hair, more specifically the racists views on hair, African American Hair. Such words as unkept, intimidating, aggressive, ugly, crazy, smells funny have often been used in the same sentence in talks about African American Hair. Things that boggle my mind as is but let's keep talking.

I've talked about hair in the past, someone-just-like-me my own struggles as a kid and teenager with a head full of hair that didn't "behave" like other people's. The comments I'd get in the Salon about all the hair I had and how it trickled over to my own daughter when she came along.

Something so simple as Hair is bringing tears to so many eyes and finally after years of silence the words can no longer be held back.

doing what she does lil mama selfies

How easy must it be to go anywhere and be catered to your every need? How easy must it be to walk down a store aisle and have your pick of the large litter? Now stop for a second and imagine all those choices being taken away? How about not having a choice at all?

As a minority or woman of color because minority to me at this point even sounds incorrect to say (but that's a convo for another day) for so many years I've heard so many of these things but just shrugged it off or just bought something else to try and "tame" my hair that it really has been such an eye opener as of late to hear my own daughter speak about her recent experiences especially now in her working field. It's one thing for you to experience things as an adult, but when you see it through your child's eyes it's a whole different matter.

My daughter has chosen the field of Fashion as a career. How products are sold and marketed, the designs, the thoughts behind fabrics, textures and colors. Styling...what pieces of clothing should you put together to best show your body type without following the "size chart" that has been rammed down our throats for so many years. Accessories...adding to your look either with jewelry or your "hairstyle". So it pist me off to hear from her the other day that her dress code at work requires her to keep her "hair" in an acceptable style. What on earth is an "acceptable style"? She has curly hair by nature, she can wear it curly or endure two hours under the dryer so it lays flat but those are her choices to make not ours. What for you said job is not acceptable in those options that she has?

lil mama in work state of mind

How can my 21 year old daughter's curly hair intimidate or come across as aggressive to you? You want her to change a natural part of what makes her who she is because it's not something you have or even know about? Yet, you spend hundreds of dollars at your own Beauty parlor to get your flat hair like hers!?
Your establishment is so narrow minded and antiquated that you have a template for only one group of people?

That my daughter would even have to be a party in this type of conversation is testing me enough but that you would then turn around and say that you have never really thought of that issue and would have to get back to her says to me again, how crazy our society and how racist people still continue to be.

It's just freaking Hair!

So to illustrate my point I'm going to share a few pictures and I want you to honestly ask yourself what is the difference?

illustration by celebbuzz.com

illustration by juice salon.com

illustration by celebbuzz.com

illustration by ana.rs

illustration by pop sugar

illustration by haveagoodhairday.com

illustration by hairstyles weekly.com

illustration by snakkle.com

illustration by pinterest.com

illustration by short haircut.com

Did you look carefully? Did you see the difference? Let me spell it out COLOR. It is much easier for some to accept certain things in some groups as trendy when funny that in other groups its just the way of life. All these women are beautiful, just different.

I truly believe that women can make a difference in any field or topic that we touch. That once we set our minds on something and get the conversations going CHANGE can take place. So I am asking you...next time you see a women's hair and it doesn't look like yours don't judge instead embrace.
Consider the possibility of respecting the differences in each other. Consider how you would feel if your daughter or son were to be judged by their Hair.

What are your thoughts? Would love to start a conversation?

Always stress free xo
Mari 

Love Thyself

TRUTH HURTS

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone!

While most will be posting cute hearts and candies I want to address what everyone is talking about and share my perspective as a mother to my own Beyonce but first lets talk about the original.

Facts:

-Her estimated net worth is $250 Million dollars

-Business woman, Wife, Mother, Song writer, Singer, Dancer oh and...Actress

-Destiny's Child was one of the world's Best Selling Girl Groups of All times

-She has earned twenty Grammy Awards

-She has sold over 118 Million records Solo and 60 Million with Destiny's Child

-Her songs touch on all subject matters from bubble gum anthems to raw reality and passionate love

I'm going to stop here because I think the message is clear. She is a woman of Power and Influence. She has earned everything she has received and she deserves respect for her hustle. I loved her Super Bowl performance as I have always loved all her performances. She gives you 100% each and every time. No excuses.

So why was White America shocked at her latest performance? Were they not aware she is and has always been an African American Woman? She's been on this earth for over 30 plus years it didn't just happen over night. Because she is light skin that fact is over looked? Or is it because her appearance doesn't scare them like Venus and Serena apparently do? Wait...is it because she made songs like Single Ladies or Run the World and their kids and they themselves too felt it was catchy tune and "safe"?

Was she not in some sort of "Formation" then?

Super Bowl Sunday she spoke one very important aspect of her journey and Truth. She told you her history in one entire song, things she has always talked about in one way or another but because it was slapping White America in the face all at once she was totally out of line. Why? Super Bowl Sunday is sacred to only one race? Was her Truth so offensive that it shouldn't be heard or displayed so the whole world can see?

The response to her Truth speaks volumes of how far we haven't come. 

illustration by picture quotes.com

Pride in who you are should never be a bad thing! When Garth Brooks or Dolly Parton speak of their Truths who's offended? How about Johnny Cash or Jerry Lee Lewis? Let's bring it closer how about Aerosmith or Bruce Springsteen? I am extremely open minded when it comes to music. Music is Universal I love all types of music including these aforementioned artists. I love how they shared their Truths, their experiences in life as seen through Their eyes. I am not offended by songs addressing their love of horses or ranch life or cheating spouse or their love affair with drugs and alcohol. The songs depict the Truth of the Artist.

She pointed out the injustices that have occurred and continue to occur to her people. The killings, the discrimination, the labels, the less than attitude...she laid it all out. Was she lying? What part of her song was a lie? Is it a lie because it is not the White America version? Minorities, again a label given to certain people by others who feel Superior are just plain and simply Tired. 

Myself included. I am tired of White America deflecting their low self esteem on me and those who look like me. I am tired of the labels and constant need to "try" to somehow justify all the in your face wrongs that occur daily. I am tired of having to have conversations about "the color" of someone's skin. 

Don't tell me or anyone else who has been treated poorly to "just move on". Don't disrespect the long hard journey my ancestors had by saying things like "it wasn't me". Yes it may very well not be you per say but it was your grandfather and those before him. The Civil Rights movement was in the late 50's early 60's. This is my mother's time this is not that long ago and where are we now? 

I began with a statement I have my own lil Beyonce. Why should my daughter in the year 2016 be stopped by the police because her and a group of her friends are walking down the street and "look" suspicious? Why should my daughter be told she should straighten her hair because it "will look" better? Better to who? Why did my daughter have to hear comments about her features at the age of 6? How cruel and self righteous can White America be? 

Love Thyself!!!

Love Thyself! Focus on yourself, better yourself change your history and Truths. Stop trying to change people that are not like you. We don't want to be you. We are proud of who we are. 

Love Thyself! Encourage differences and own up to past mistakes. It will really be appreciated. 

We can never move forward if the past is ignored, lied about and not acknowledged. Life just doesn't work that way the Planet never forgets.

Now let me be very clear. This is my Truth. I am writing to speak to that man or woman who just doesn't respect and get the magnitude of what took place Super Bowl Sunday. I am speaking to those that feel they were "disrespected". I am speaking to those I and the rest of my people "offend". I am speaking to those that were happy to sing "who run the world, Girls" but just don't want it to be again a Minority Girl. If what I have addressed isn't who you are than the labels don't apply and this should be a conversation starter. If what I have addressed rubs you the wrong way then again its a conversation starter and should start with you looking in the mirror asking "why does a non white person loving themselves effect and offend me?"

Thanks Beyonce for the following line because my daughter will do exactly that...

"Always stay Gracious best Revenge is your Paper" 

What are your thoughts? Are you tired of all the race talks and feel its time to get "over it" or do you think the talks haven't been wide and long enough and more needs to be done? Start a conversation, share your thoughts and experiences.

Always stress free xo

Mari

What will it take for us to be Civil Human Beings?

On this beautiful Sunday Morning after hours and hours of rain falling in NYC I woke with several thoughts, the same thoughts I've been carrying for days. And on this morning especially I am sad to be aware that on this Father's Day there are families who will have awoken with a Father that was recently brutally killed for no apparent reason other than the wrong skin color. For you I wish peace, love and that your memories pull you through.

Loss of life happens daily this I am aware of after all tragedy doesn't take a break but recently the day to day stories, pictures and blatant disregard for life have begun to chip away at my belief in Humanity.

illustration by thedailyquotes.com

Charleston is still not a wake up call? What will it take? Killing innocent people in a place of worship? A place where everyone is welcomed? A place of God? Here is religion again front and center, everyone is a child of God yet these people still not so in someone else's eyes that he had to wipe them away.
So many excuses used to justify taking a human life
-protecting myself
-protecting my property
-protecting my beliefs
-protecting my kind
-protecting my country
-protecting my rights
-afraid for my safety
-looking suspicious
-keeping order
Where does it end?

I will not even touch the "right to carry a gun" red flags this latest story has for if I do I will just be writing for days but how about we keep in mind all the recent killings involving guns in the wrong hands officially and unofficially.

Why? Why do you hate us so? Why does our skin color evoke such hate and dislike in your heart? Why do you feel you are better than me or my children or my family or my friends? Why am I tolerated in certain aspects but excluded in others? Why do you lay in the sun to get a tan but I'm already the color your trying to achieve and I'm not good enough? Why? Do you even have an answer? And if you do is it even justified or humane?

I can't imagine there being a humane answer. A justified response other than perhaps just years and years of old beliefs still being carried on by people today. Old thoughts spilling into our society even after years of debunking some of these beliefs.

illustration by brainy quotes

I feel as if I am living in a world where we are literally killing each other off and no one is batting an eye. As long as it doesn't affect you, your money or anything else you consider yours you just don't care. I feel we are continuing to repeat history as if nothing was ever learned as if those past mistakes never happened.

I am not overtly religious but I think that humanity is making God sad. I think he is questioning what is happening to all his children and finds himself asking some tough questions
-I gave them so much freedom, why do they use it so poorly?
-I gave them life, why do they feel the right to take someone else's away?
-I made them in my image, where did the hate for some come from?
-I gave them the ability to acquire comforts in abundance, why the greed? Why the entitlement?
-Did I make a huge mistake, should I wipe the slate clean and start over again?

Can you imagine that? Can you imagine that our actions, that our choices, that our selfish acts as human beings could cause our extinction? That as human beings we are such a disappointment we can bring about thoughts of being wiped away?

illustration by whispering love.org

I always go back and connect to being a mother. To the joy I felt at giving birth to the love of my life. To the pride I feel as I watch her grow and be kind, productive, loving and giving. To the smile she brings to my face and her love that fills my heart. As her mother I couldn't have asked for anything more. As a Human Being am I experiencing the same things? As Human Beings are we evoking these same emotions in the Higher Power?

On this Father's Day as you brunch, worship, stroll, hug, kiss and any other actions that you will be sharing with this special man in your life, remember that someone out there is not able to do the same thing you have the right to do today because of their skin color. Because someone woke up and decided they had the right to take another's life away.

What will it take for us to be Civil Human Beings? Share your thoughts.

Always stress free xo.

Someone just Like Me

Have you taken a moment today to look around and see if anyone else looks like you? Has the same shaped eyes or nose? Skin tone or hair texture? Mouth or even the way you walk? Have you opened a book lately and a reflection of you stared you in the face?

Imagine if you will that the answer is no. That the reflection you see in the mirror you rarely run into elsewhere. That unless you are with your family or around your neighborhood there is no other representation of you. The magazines you love and the shows you watch don't reflect anyone you know or the things you do. How your mother cooks or the games you and your cousins play. Where you go shopping or the music you enjoy.

illustration by lovequotesimg.com

I have a wonderful teacher and she is I am proud to say, my daughter. I can't express enough how much she means to me and all she adds to my life daily. If you happen to be blessed enough to have younger people around, please listen and learn. They have plenty to teach and we have yet so much to still learn. I must start recording our conversations because I just can't retain all the info sometimes coming from just one session lol.

Our chat the other night bought a few tears to my eyes and a pain to my heart. As a mother it is always difficult to hear when our children have suffered unfairly, been bullied or felt out of place and questioned who they were. It is tough to realize that at some point they may have thought they were just not good enough. It was a tough pill to swallow for me when this conversation was over.

Innocently enough it all started with comments about her going to see the new Disney movie Home. Voiced by Rihanna, Jim Parsons and Steve Martin just to name a few. I asked if she had a nice time, was it fun etc..her response was "I had a great time but got a little teary afterwards when I left the theater." I asked why and she said "because I saw a little girl stand next to Tip's poster and tell her mom look! she looks just like me!!!" As my daughter recounted this moment her eyes swelled up with tears again, that shocked me.

illustration by tumblr.com

As she continued to share, she expressed that when she heard that she could relate. For the character Tip, voiced by Rihanna has a head full of curly hair. She looks like some of her friends and family and people in our neighborhood. She looks like her! I've never heard my daughter talk about feeling different ever but it goes to show and showed me, that society's views do affect those in the outside of what is considered normal. My daughter continued to share in detail the many years as a child growing up around other kids that didn't really look like her and the things they would say.

She spoke about times she wondered why her hair was so curly or if it was indeed so different. Times when she questioned if it was wrong of her to like her hair as it was. Should she straighten it, relax it, cut it? Days that people would make comments but think they were being nice as they said it. Both children and adults alike. She said even today when people comment "oh your hair reminds me of Diana Ross" and look at her sideways. Or when she gets stopped and asked if its all hers and is it soft.

All this made my eyes get wider and wider because I couldn't believe it. How rude, cruel and nasty. Is anyone asking Britney Spears or any of the Kardashians why they put extensions in their hair? Why some people pay hundreds to get some waves on their flat hair? Why Tanning Salons are such a big business? So many questions could be asked but aren't, why? Is it because some people can get away with stuff just because it could be the latest style while others who look and live this way on a daily are not normal?

I don't like to ride in the car where every thing that happens leads to a town called racist but more and more each day I see that when I don't acknowledge it or understand it I will always have it parked right outside my door. I am baffled to still hear comments in relation to skin color, hair, style of dress etc...When a commercial or a television program shows a loving non white family it's not realistic but when it shows non whites acting like fools its totally believable. When a non white sports a nice hairstyle it can't be her real hair but if the same style is on someone else everyone wants to copy it.

illustration by galleryhip.com

This is a plea to all mothers. We have more power than we know. Yes fathers matter but I am speaking to the moms. Why? Because females are known for our excessive sensitivity or so that is what we have been told for far too long.

Mom...

-next time you see a little girl that doesn't look like your daughter instead of seeing what is different look instead at what is the same.

-next time your son wears his hair a certain way don't gravitate to an exclusion but instead praise his creative form of expression, its only hair!

-next time your teen visits a tanning salon or goes to the beach to get "dark", remember some people already are a variety of these shades naturally and it isn't a fashion statement. If you find it "cute" to tan then why is it not "cute" to already be dark?

-next time your daughter picks up a book to read, be grateful she can find a character to relate to because for a very long time many of us couldn't.

-next time you're about to use the word bad to describe someone or something that is not like you why don't you try to replace it with the word different?

I don't want to bash anyone I want to start a conversation, provoke a thought. I want words to be used carefully and wisely. The same way we want as females to be treated equally and fairly is the same way we should treat those that are not a reflection of what we see in the mirror.

I am not a b word because I speak my mind but when I do men call me that. I am not cocky because I am confident in my skin and love who I am but others that are not like me say I am. Some people say "everyone" has their place, I say "my" place, my daughter's place and every one's place is the same.

Thoughts that come from a mother daughter chat. What do you say? Share your experiences and views, respectfully please.

Always stress free xo.

The Race Card from a Minority Moms point of view

This was not what I set out to write about today. This is not where I like my writing to go too often.
But today these points were triggered in my mind...


-looking like the person or persons who did it allows for you to serve about 7 to 14 years of your life in prison only to find out, guess what they were indeed innocent, you robbed them of their youth and think that saying your sorry and paying out some money is enough.
-watching a woman being wrestled to the ground by policemen is no big deal.
-beating a migrant worker because you feel he is taking your job is just another day in your life.
-stop and frisk just because you look suspicious is no big deal.
-pulling over a mother and her children at gunpoint in a highway is all in a days work.
-being targeted, ostracized and even beatin by those who deem you are out to kill them because your religion calls for you to wear certain clothes is not something we should question.
-being shot several times in broad day light even from the back, then being left to die like a dog in the street is no cause for concern.
-watching a man dying in front of you is not proof enough. Hearing someone gasping for air shouting "I can't breathe" is not enough to stop you for a brief moment and have your humanity kick in.

 AND last but not least...
-watching a 7 minute video of a 12 year old boy in a park dropping to the ground getting shot by a policeman doesn't say to you ENOUGH is ENOUGH we need to start talking?

This post will touch on a few things that perhaps some don't want to hear let alone read if that is you press delete or move on to the next big sale offer going on at the moment.

Let's continue, this post is coming from a woman and a minority at that. 

I never play these cards. I've always been open to benefit of the doubt...always. 

To the point that I've been told by some closest to me that I live in denial. 

But when you are of the mindset that in general, everything should be fare and we should respect all you try your best to not lump all things together. 

I was sitting in my office when the latest breaking news came over the radio on the Eric Garner case.

This is the NYC case in which a police officer uses a chock hold to subdue a gentleman suspected of engaging in an illegal act. No Indictment.

I am not going to ramble on about the law or about he should have, she should have, they should have.
I am going to talk to you as a MOTHER.

Whether we care to admit it or not RACISM does EXIST. Some my feel it more than others and some areas may experience it more than others but it does EXIST. The sooner we admit it and bring it to light and talk about it, the sooner we can find ways to either end it all together or cope with it without people dying.

I have "so called" 2 strikes against me I am Latina and I am a Women but what about my cousins, nieces and nephews, friends and other family members who are mixed race? I have cousins who are are African American I have friends who are African American. My family has a variety of shades.
As a mom how do I deal with the fact that my cousins or nephews could get killed because their skin color is not light enough? That they "look" like they don't belong in such in such neighborhood. That they scared someone because they were speaking too loudly?

As a MOTHER how do I justify having to raise the boys in my family a little differently than the way another mother has to raise her son? As a MOTHER how can I ever be ok with my daughter being looked at as LESS than the next person?

Being Dominican we come in all shades, as many races do. I have said in the past I am the "negra" in the family, the "dark/black one". I have 3 brothers and 2 have blonde hair with green and blue eyes.
Imagine me walking down the street and being picked on because I am different than them and they seem to fit in but I don't?

Why is the idea of lighter skin better? Why is "WHITE" better? What makes one color one race BETTER than the next?

All life is valuable. Everyone matters.

The American Dream is only for "White" people? The United States of America is only livable if you are light skin? America is only for those who look and act the same?
We are a nation build on the backs of others, others so called "outsiders".
RACISM has been around for a very long time.

We must talk about it or continue to be killed if you are found to be "less than".

As a Latin woman, as a mom I shouldn't have to tell anyone in my family or any of my friends to be extra careful when they go out or when they travel or when they just sit in a car BUT I do.
As a Latin woman, as a mom I shouldn't have to talk about certain topics in regards to dating BUT I do.
As a Latin woman, as a mom I shouldn't have to even think about skin color issues and how it could effect those I love BUT I do.

This is not a I HATE WHITE PEOPLE thing. This is not a ALL WHITE PEOPLE bash. This is a PREJUDICE does exist THING and stop closing your eyes to it!

This is a Mother who loves her daughter just as any other mother does. This is a Mother who could have had a darker skin child and because of that the life span could have been cut shorter. This is a Mother who doesn't want to keep seeing other mother's crying over their dead children!

All life is valuable. Everyone matters.

We all bleed the same, we all have dreams, we all love.

You are no better than "just because" your skin is "lighter".

RACISM does EXIST. Admit it, accept it...NOW let's talk and do something about it.

What say you?

Always stress free and with some extra love xo.