Sex is a touchy subject for many, just the word alone or sight of it written somewhere causes anxiety but for me it was and still is as easy as pie, why? Because Sex Education in my home began since my daughter was born.
When I make this statement, what do I mean? I mean I didn't wait to read a book or have an awkward sit down or have an age specific revelation about sex.
We are born sexual beings, we get aroused at different ages for different reasons and it should be ok to be comfortable with our bodies and what happens to them as we are growing and maturing.
This idea of "the talk" is very antiquated and if we as parents think our little ones are not aware of sex at a younger age year after year than we are fooling ourselves.
My daughter came home in sixth grade and told me what the different color bracelets meant. At the time girls were using bracelets as means to let boys know what sex acts they did or were willing to perform. She would share the goings on in the bathrooms or after school in the parks or friends’ houses. This was all during her junior High School years!!!
In her H.S. years my daughter was the one who taught me what “toss the salad” meant (relates to type of oral act in sex) feel free to look it up. This conversation was while we watched some music videos, any time any place.
These are just a few examples of the variety of things we have discussed in the past 18 years.
Since she could speak she knew the proper names of both her body parts and her fathers. From the time she began to ask questions or notice things we have had our talks. Not a specific designated time but surely age appropriate. If we were walking in the street she saw couple kissing we talked, if we watched a video and the girls were dancing on a pole we talked. A simulated sex act scene in a movie, we talked. Our drives to school, at the Laundromat any place any time; constant Communication, respect and honesty.
And if you are not comfortable then find a way to get comfortable quickly. Shows about Teen moms and videos and friends shouldn't be where our children get there information. It can be a tool of course but not a source.
Age does not matter but age appropriate language does. There is no room for shyness.
This is Your Sex Education.
What other tools and resources do you think are needed? As added incentive I have included some links that touch this same topic in a variety of ways and ages. See for yourself; let me know what you think. Happy Sunday!
Sex related topics
http://www.cafemom.com/group/advice/forums/read/19163965/Sex_talk_too_soon_Or_press_anyway
http://www.cafemom.com/group/advice/forums/read/18939084/How_to_Keep_Your_Kid_a_Virgin_Until_College
http://nymag.com/thecut/2013/12/kids-struggle-with-platonic-friendship-too.html?om_rid=AADYCs&om_mid=_BSoOlUB82zLtg6
http://www.cafemom.com/group/advice/forums/read/19151120/My_10_year_old_asked_me_what_humping_is_Help?ct=search_grouppost
http://www.cafemom.com/group/advice/forums/read/19398454/Teenage_sex
http://www.cafemom.com/group/33200/forums/read/19402641/WWYD_My_16yo_is_dating_a_40yo
Helpful resources
http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/feelings/questions_sex.html
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/parents/talking-kids-about-sex-sexuality-37962.htm
Ha! Love the picture! This is a really good and very honest post. I wish I could be more comfortable talking about sex with my daughter as you are. To the best of my ability, I try to push my personal comfort limits, but... that's not saying very much. My daughter is seven and I do talk to her about certain things and ensure that she at least knows the proper names of body parts. But, I wish I was as open as you with this topic.
ReplyDeleteHey PC, thanks for visit and comments. Small steps is what I would suggest. It is a bit much when you have to deal with a lot at once that is why I broke it up into 18 years of non stop chatter lol. It gets easier once you build the confidence, she is seven so keep working on it you will be do just fine :)
DeleteI have always been very open talking to my children about sex. We started when they were very young. Kids are learning things far too early these days and I wanted them to always feel comfortable coming to me. Great post, Mari, and I'm so glad you provided resources for parents venturing into this. Love the picture!!
ReplyDeleteCandace thanks for visit :) thank you! Yes I thought the picture was hilarious.
DeleteIt's funny but I don't remember exactly when we gave the sex talk, but I still ask my son if he's having sex when he has a girlfriend. Not that I wanted him too but just wanted to make sure he wrapped it tightly!
ReplyDeleteAntoinette, wrap it up tightly sounds like something I would say lol. Thanks for visit.
DeleteOkay, apparently I'm still in need of some sex education because I have absolutely no idea what 'toss the salad' means! Haha! And I'm a bit scared to google it...
ReplyDeleteTessa, please google it the more you know the better prepared you become. I would love to hear from you once you know what it is lol. Thanks for the visit :)
DeleteNo, we don't have the "talk" with our son, but we talk about what he sees and hears. We talk about any questions that he may have. Some topics ahve been left solely to his father as he's a better source of information for my son... my daughters are just an infant and toddler. Considering I had my first real kiss in 4th grade by an 8th grader and a classmate was pregnant by 8th grade, I was thoroughly briefed by the actions of other children... not by my parents. Thanks for linking up with Turn it Up Tuesdays!
ReplyDelete