Chaos met Zen

I want that toy and I want it now. Is the loose translation of a screaming child's thoughts at a toy store.

No sweetheart you can't have that toy at this moment. I understand you WANT it but no.

This ice cream is so yummy I'm going to stuff spoonful after spoonful in my mouth because it's so good and I WANT it.

Honey, slow down. Taste the ice cream, enjoy it. If you just take spoonful after spoonful you won't get your fill and you will miss the joy of its flavor. Slow down.

I am the fastest runner in this playground. I can beat any of these other kids in any race. Watch how fast I can run. Few minutes later he ran so fast he tripped and fell.

Oh darling I told you not to run so fast. I know you have great speed but you do not have to prove it to others all the time.

May you be Happy
May you be Healthy
May you be Peaceful
May you live with Ease

Stress free

Chaos met Zen

Foundation

We aren't born with all our wisdom and knowledge; let alone how to be good parents.

I always make it a point to emphasize GOOD parent because the reality is anyone can be A parent.

To become a good parent or even a great one takes several things. One of them is the knowledge and experience of others.
But just how much is too much?
To what extent do we carry that belief and practice?

The saying goes it “takes a village to raise a child”. I myself believe to some degree in that but I also believe in many other factors.

• Take all the good things you received from your family that worked. Not the ones that are passed down just because they are habits, but the ones that add to life and add to living in happiness.
• Take what you saw in your friends’ families that allowed them to grow strong and healthy as a unit.
• Take what you have read and will continue to read and break it down into categories of yes, no and maybe.
• Take what you see in the streets, what you have watched on television and what you have observed in Life.

Finally sit still and grasp all that information, process it, filter it, accept it with all that it was given.

Add your beliefs, your rules, your goals, your desires, your hopes and all your love, lots of prayers, patience and laughter.

That will be your village.

What else do you think should be added to the Village?

It’s never too late…until it IS

Have you ever been in conversation with someone and the topic of something you have wanted to do for the longest comes up and they say “oh it’s never too late”?

We spend so much time pushing things aside for later that we don’t realize the time we’ve wasted.  We always seem to think we have tomorrow, but sometimes we really don’t. Time waits for no one. We need to learn to invest our time wisely.

Procrastination is a terrible trait.

We as adults and especially as parents need to learn to remove this from our daily lives. We need to stop saying things like “oh I will do that tomorrow or things will get better in time or that can wait till later”.

Planning is wonderful; dreams are great but these things mean nothing without execution.

Today is the start of a New Year. Go out and start the ball rolling before it is TOO LATE.

Being an Adult

Reveal Thursday.

First and foremost I want to wish all my family, friends and supporters an amazing Thanksgiving!! I want to say I am so grateful to have all those that truly matter in my life and for all the lessons this past year has taught me, Thank you. Every day is a blessing, go out and live your life!

I looked up the definition of an Adult, it said a person who was fully grown and developed, someone sensible and mature not childish.
I guess then that on paper I am totally an Adult but in spirit I am totally more childlike, but in a good way.
I love Candy, Cartoons, Tattoos, Motorcycles, Coloring books, Toys and all kinds of Music. I love Video games, social drinking and late nights out with friends. I love Colors and Nail polish and Amusement parks. I love the Ocean but can't swim; I love strolling in the park but can't ride a bike. I am always high but I have never done any drugs.

I took the test Dr. Oz had/has on his website that from your answers can tell you what your “Real” age is in body and mind. From what the results said my “Real” age is 32. Awesome! It puts me at ten years younger than my Birth Certificate.
I took Dr. Oz’s test on what is your real age and mine said Real age is 32.
Perhaps what has allowed me to parent as carefree as I have is having this mindset and this outlook. I have never forgotten what it was like or what it felt to be young heck I am young and no one can tell me otherwise.

I know a woman who always feels she has to remind me of my age (as if I am not aware) and better still she has to beat herself up about hers. She was my inspiration for this post.
Once I was sort of cruel because I commented that those that have a problem with ageing should not be around but it wasn't because I wanted to be cruel it was more of a speaking out loud observation. I have a strong belief that life is to be appreciated and lived as best possible and never taken for granted. But who am I to make such a statement.

Guess what I want to convey is don't knock me because I feel youthful because I have childlike tendencies and because I live life period. Don't be upset I am not on a countdown or that I watch everything I eat or do. Don't be mad I am not stuck or angry that my daughter is a vibrant young woman and enjoying her own life. I am living mine as well. I am not in competition with the young, I am in my own space, I had that time now this is just another time and I am still ready to explore and when I looked in the mirror today I was still that young vibrant spirit I was years ago and still was yesterday.

Perhaps she will continue to remind me, perhaps she will just stop one day and try things my way in any case…
Age is nothing but a number, you here it all the time; except for me it is the truth.

Picky eaters

One thing that was bought to my attention most recently by my daughter is her evolution in regards to food. This was on an ordinary mommy and daughter having dinner together night.

For the past year her eating habits have changed drastically. It started with replacing all beverages with water. We both decided to make additional changes to our eating habits at the same time but hers have just continued to move her in a whole different direction.

The eye opener comment was a simple “mami I love water”.

Now just to give you some back ground we have never been a household to indulge in processed foods, sweets or any other things in excess. I raised my daughter with the usual first year of milk (whichever form worked best) and water, then the foods in stages as well as other items and drinks. Once the teeth came in and she was a toddler  we went onto our typical Dominican dishes( my family comes from the Dominican Republic) which include but don’t just stop at rice, beans, meats, salads, plantains, fresh fruits and veggies and then the staples of certain pasta dishes, burgers, franks, shrimps, soups, the usual cereals, and other breakfast items. I never allowed her too much sugar, everything in moderation. We also never had soda in the house; we only drank soda at party’s or BBQ’s. McDonalds and any other fast food places were treats (yes I know, treat? Not). I never made it a normal thing to have fast food as a means for dinner. I always packed her school lunches up until sixth grade (when she decided she wanted to see what “school lunch” was like), they included jello, yogurts, fruits, milk, sandwiches, Polly o string cheese sometimes it was a Lunchable. By the age of 8 our house changed to no red meats only on special occasions that was her father’s input. He felt we were consuming too much red meat and it was contributing to our digestive issues; once we began to reduce our intake we noticed a huge difference. We then switched to turkey or chicken for our burgers and franks. We found that as we made these changes we also ate less and less outside the home or called for takeout.

So now we get to present day and where she once didn't like anything whole wheat or grain she loves. Where most veggies were at some point an enemy now they are her daily friend. She even cuts her own carrots! She continues to love her yogurt but now adds granola to the mix.

Among the dos and don’ts she is no longer eating any type of fast food, no ketchup, no type of juices just water or water with slice of lemon. No cereals with added sugar, no ice cream, rarely any cookies, no candy except for an occasional bag of m&m’s and never any chips. This is where I am on a different road; I am in the mindset of moderation, not yet ready to give up some of those things.

So back to our dinner, Salmon (grilled) and a green salad with cranberries, she commented to me that the reason perhaps she did not care for certain things as a child was because the flavors were masked with the juices or other beverages she was drinking. That certain food together don’t allow for the full flavor to be enjoyed. That perhaps had I enforced more of the water more often as I introduced certain food items, she would have been more open to the suggestions.

Which led me to stop and think.....just how much masking of flavors we all do on a daily because we may not drink enough water? WATER!!! Who would have thought?

Time to Shave

Reveal Thursday

So my reveal today is about Shaving. Why this topic, because I saw over this past summer a few young girls while in my volunteer projects that had on shorts and had hair on their legs, I see some women in my Yoga class with hairy armpits and I ran into a post on Cafe Mom but most importantly, because not a lot of mom’s talk about this.

These observations bought to mind when I was about 10 or 11 years old, playing outside one summer afternoon and a neighbor of mine, a boy came over and asked me “why do you have hair on your legs?”
I was shocked and embarrassed. I had never thought about the hair on my legs until moment he bought it up. Then I started to think “wait but none of the women I know have hair on their legs!!!”  I started to look around and noticed that only the young girls had hair and the older ones and the women didn't.

Since I already knew my mother would not allow me to do so I ran home, went to the bathroom, got in the shower, turned water on, used my step fathers shave cream and my mother’s razor and shaved my legs. I only knew what to do because I had seen my mother do it hundreds of times.
What a revelation!! The smoothest most beautiful legs I had seen yet. I couldn't believe the difference it made.
I put lotion on and went back outside to show off my “new” legs.  It felt great when I sat down on my stoop and looked down at my hairless legs just like all the older girls.

That night was another story because when my mother saw my legs she flipped. She said I was not old enough to shave and that I was trying to “grow up” to fast.  Really? Shaving my legs was trying to grow up to fast? Needless to say I continued to do it regardless of her comments and I had to anyway because I learned as time went on that shaving wasn't a onetime thing…the hair grows back!!!!

When my sisters were at the age where the hair started to become “to noticeable”, I vowed I would be the one to assist them in the journey of shaving because I didn't want them to have to hide. I bought the Nair lotion so they wouldn't have to use razors and my mother would feel it was “safer” at their age. With my daughter she was about 12 yrs. old and we did the same thing. She didn't care about it as much so I followed her lead for when she was ready. Shaving isn't about “growing up” to fast, it’s about appearance! I must have said those words to my mother about 50 times in the course of my teens, my sister’s teens and my daughter’s teen years. Talk about old fashioned!!

Through my many years of shaving I came to a belief that it wasn't so much my mother didn't want me to grow up to fast as it was she didn't know how to approach something so simple as teaching her daughter how to shave or better yet to be aware that at some point hairy legs was not the look I may have wanted anymore. It wasn't that shaving was for the “older’ girls it was that the older girls knew how to shave, perhaps due to years of watching their own moms as I had mine.  Puberty hits every child and parents need to prepare, adjust and address the different needs and concerns. Communication.

This is my opinion; this is my preference and the preference of many. With that I am also aware that to some women or even different cultures etc.., hair on the legs, armpits or any other place for that matter is no big deal. What a great thing that we can have options and respect.

With this reveal what I want to bring to light is mothers and fathers are Teachers of Everything. There is no subject matter that we must not touch or be aware of.
If you have a preteen or teen interested in shaving, go ahead and teach them. Really it is not a big deal. Pick your battles wisely.

What would some have considered a “grown up” move that you engaged in at some point in your life behind your parents back? Going down memory lane.

http://www.cafemom.com/group/advice/forums/read/18996345/Should_I_teach_my_daughter_to_shave_her_legs