When Love is Just around the Corner

I am always happy to chat about Love and Relationships guess it's because regardless of my experiences I believe in romance and remain abundantly optimistic. When a group of people gather together so many views come to play because of their own experiences. You hear so many opinions about Finding Love.
-you have to be open to it
-your time will come
-your expectations are too high
-you're sending out mixed signals
-you're not looking in the right places
-God has other plans for you

Which one can you relate to and which one did you totally roll your eyes at?

If I know one thing and that's for sure is nothing is guaranteed. You can follow all the rules, prepare all you want and pray all you want but nothing you do will rush the process of Finding Love.

illustration by pinterest.com

I stepped out my door and there you were smiling that beautiful smile.
We said Good Morning and kept walking to our individual destinations.
Every so often our paths would cross again and that smile would continue to appear.
Months later late one afternoon our paths crossed again and finally you gathered up the nerve to ask for my name. I don't know whose smile was wider but as I said my name your eyes lit up like a star in the sky. I asked what was your name and I was surprised at its simplicity yet as you said it all I felt was strength. Again we walked to our individual destinations.

Soon came several other moments of casual interactions and always that same smile appeared. Then as quickly as it began it ended. No more crossing paths in the morning or late afternoons. You were gone, a work trip you said. Couldn't wait to get out of the city. All I thought was what will happen now? Wasn't this as interesting for you as it has been for me?

Some time passed and I had given up hope of running into you again.
One Sunny morning on my way to work I turned the corner and there you were!
That smile was still there accompanied by such warmth and a pleasant sense of connection. You walked me to my car and we exchanged numbers. “Let's keep in touch” we said. But how many times have you said that line and really meant it? Not even an hour had past before you had called.

illustration by jarofquotes

Small talk that grew longer and longer with each conversation and each revelation about our lives. Several similarities but also many differences.
Every exchange seemed effortless like we had known each other for a very long time
Conversations that have only grown with time and aided in Finding Love just around the corner.

What do you think the ending of this story will be? Does it sound like how you met your significant other? Is it how you hope you will find love? Is it real or is it fantasy? Share your thoughts on “Finding Love.”

Always stress free xo,
Mari

Willing

I love when a poem or a song is so detailed and clear there is nooooooo way you can't get the message. I love that if you are shy or not good with expressing emotions there are so many tools you can gravitate to for some help.

Today I am going to chat a bit about expecting things from others that we ourselves may not be giving or willing to give. I've shared some of my experiences with dating again after years of being out of the game, back in the game then out again. I have plenty of treats coming your way but today let's start with Willing.

Ready, eager and prepared to do something is the definition but do we apply it to the way we approach connecting in relationships? When we as women begin to connect with men are we prepared and ready to compromise and communicate honestly and openly. Same question for men, are you ready and prepared to lay your cards down, to talk to listen?

illustration by pinterest.com

Our Willingness to bare our souls and to not let pasts failures creep into our now is tough at times, I won't lie I work on some of these daily myself. Dating in today's rules hasn't been easy but it's been totally doable because of my willingness to be clear. I am looking forward to connecting with someone who enjoys me, all of me. Yes dating can be a hit or miss sometimes a few misses more than a hit but I refuse to become jaded and say I am ok staying single. Why should I? I am still young and have a lot to offer. I actually feel sad for people of a certain age when I hear them speak and sound as if they have thrown in the towel. Why? You mean to tell me you are so set in your ways you are no longer eager to try connecting with someone else?

You mean to tell me no one can meet your standards? How high are you setting them, are they even realistic and would you meet those same standards if someone was measuring you by them? Don't get my words twisted, I am not saying aim low or reduce, I am saying compromise, be ready to give other options a try. Don't expect or ask for something you yourself are not giving, that's all.

I love this artist I am about to share on, Jill Scott. Her words move and inspire, uplift and question, show and tell. I am so glad that a friend of mine reminded me of her latest work and bought this track/interlude to my attention. It touches exactly what I mean about willing to give what you want to get. Willing to be clear and laying things out.

You want me flawless
You want me patient
And sweet
You want me willing
You want my honesty
You want me to be
Appreciative
Respect your space
Ignore your fears
You want spontaneity
A good girl and a freak
You want loyalty

You want something that you’re not willing to be

Expecting me to be loyal
Expecting me to be faithful

What do you think? Do you agree that you need to have equal expectations? Do you feel you should get more than you give? Do you believe that after a certain age there is just no point in dating? Let's start a conversation, tell me what you think.

Always stress free xo.

Slowing your pace down to regroup, let's call it Hibernation Time

Reveal Thursday...

As I revealed last week I am a single mom and I have reentered the dating world.
One crucial part of engaging in that world is investing money on such things as clothing, dinners, movies, brunches, sightseeing, gas, transportation and so forth. A lady must be prepared for all things at all times.
All these things can put a dent on your budget if you live on one which I happen to as I am sure many of us have to as well.

So in taking stock this past weekend I realized I have spent way too much money these last few months on this activity and to replenish myself and my bank account I will be Hibernating this Winter.

What does that mean?
Well Bears hibernate in order to bypass harsh winter months that do not allow their food supply to be in abundance.  They use the summer months to prepare for the winter months snug indoors cozy, cuddly, sleeping all day.
So because I like the idea of being cozy, sleeping and cuddling at home I chose the concept of hibernation to describe what I will be doing for the next few months.

These are the things I hope to accomplish:
• Save money
• Challenge myself to learn something new every day
• Catch up on reading some classics
• Test my fearlessness
• Explore my beautiful NYC , I have an amazing playground that I can indulge in for free if I just go out and look
• Take my camera out for more walks more often
• Invest more time with those I love
• Enjoy the perks of cuddling up at home
• Sharpen my cooking skills
• Redecorate my home
• Let my hair grow, again. I cut ten inches off to donate to Locks of Love over a year ago perhaps I can do that again for next April.
• Watch some great shows I missed via Netflix
• Focus more time and energy into my Yoga and meditation
• Discover new ways to meet people that do not include food or alcohol

Don’t get me wrong obviously I can’t literally Hibernate as Bears do, I still have to go to work, socialize  and be an engaging parent  and by no means do I intend on not continuing to enjoy my dating adventures
all my hibernating behavior means is that in the coming months I will use other means as forms of entertainment and connection while building up my bank account and not disrupting my Budget.

Living on a Budget is not a great thing all the time but it is an amazing tool if you want to build a better future for yourself and your children.  It doesn't have to mean going without or doing less, it just means changing the way you think about things and using more of your available options.

Don’t try to live like the Jones’s because they may not be as happy as you are in your world. They may have a smile on their faces but a heavy burden to carry. The grass is not always greener on the other side.
I am getting my cave ready with all the goodies I will need. I will not keep my lessons to myself I will share of course, with you.

Here’s to Mari’s Hibernation season 

Single...Again

I am starting something new today...Reveal Thursdays

This is the day I reveal or touch a more grown up subject matter. I will try to keep it tasteful and as to the point as I can.
Some subject matters may be informative others may just be sharing a particular occurrence in my life.

Mommywoods purpose is to touch all matters in the world of Motherhood. For some of us it includes being a Divorced, Widowed or in my case a Single parent.
In this world that includes loads of stuff one of which is...Dating.

I met and shared my life in a non traditional "marriage" with my daughter's father for 18 years. That means to me, that since the age of 18 we shared a life together without a marriage certificate as common law Husband and Wife. We were just as committed to our family without the "certificate" as if with. Throughout those 18 years we grew time and time again, as in life we are always changing and what a blessing that is. Some changes put you on different roads and that is what happened to us. We shared an amazing life, lots of love, respect, tears, laughter but most importantly a wonderful, beautiful, loving daughter. We were blessed to end things still with love and respect intact. We could not imagine disrespecting our union by having it end in any other way.

Two years after that I met and fell in love with another amazing man. This man taught me everything about being clear in life with what you want and what you say. He taught me to respect time and to appreciate the moment as it is not after it is gone.
Because I was not open to receive those lessons at the time, because of Pride and Ego and poor habits some of us carry from our families that great union ended 2 years later.
The biggest lesson I took from that was Empathy. We are not perfect, humans were not meant to be perfect but through communication, love and Empathy we can grow, learn, support and Rise Above any challenge...Together.

So here I find myself again Single and Dating. What a crazy, amazing, challenging, scary, sad and funny world this is all wrapped up into one. I have had some interesting dates and not so interesting dates. I have gone to some great new places and to not so great places. It has so far balanced out. My adult self today is not looking for or interested in the man my younger self was into years ago.

I am Clear in what I want in my life and I am grateful for all the experiences that I have acquired that will now allow me to be in a great space to be Open to meet that next Amazing man. Lets see what life has in store for me and I will share, what I can of course some bits and pieces of this journey!!!
Here's to Dating in your 40's.