Maturity & Timing are Everything

Happy Sunday! Had a great chat with my lil mama this morning before we both went off on errand runs and I wanted to share my walk away. She was sharing how her evening out with friends had gone and the things they had come across.

She recently turned 21 but I laugh because she refers to her 17 year old self as if it was a life time ago. I guess if your perspective is always expanding it could somehow feel that way. She was talking about men and how they were approached last night and how in her age group the males have been falling short on what they are bring to the plate and have to offer. She shared their pick up lines and their over all appearance etc...

I was laughing the whole time because she reminded me of my friends and I at her age though I was already in a committed relationship with her father at that time. I remembered the list of must haves and the "look" we were aiming for and the what we would and would not accept chatter. I know times  have changed when my daughter says that parents are doing a poor job of raising their boys to be strong men and not wimps.

illustration by quotegrams.com

She pointed out that guys have forgotten how to pay attention to the small stuff and that timing is everything. That sarcasm isn't cute and goofy lines aren't funny. That contrary to what society wants to paint women want men to actually approach them with something deep and thought provoking so that a great conversation can evolve. 

Times are changing indeed so parents of boys if you haven't started yet start so now because the females are coming up stronger and wiser than ever! They have plenty to say and aren't afraid to say it and they aren't looking for someone to tell them what they already know about themselves...that they are beautiful. What they would like to hear instead is "hey, I saw you and automatically thought what can I do to add to your greatness."

My takeaway was how proud I am to bare witness to such an intelligent young woman who knows what she wants and knows her value without tearing down another. Who surrounds herself with people who want to make a difference in their lives and in society and aren't wrapped up in the shine being sold on social media. Confidence is a great thing to encourage I feel as parents we need to focus more on that and less on trying to fit in with everyone. I always say it is best to show your best self than the worst imitation. 

illustration by quotes gram.com

What do you think? In the list of things to teach our boys what are your priorities? 

Always stress free xo

Mari

I am still Growing Up

Maturity is widening the gap between impulse and action

What a statement, hello my lovelies what do you think about that?
Does it ring any truth for you?
It does for me. As I recap 2015 and all the ups and downs I experienced I am focusing on my attitude and behavior and how I handled myself. Did I fly off the handle as I quickly did in my teens and twenties? Did I sulk or suck my teeth, did I take a breath and slow myself down?

In all honesty I must say I am proud of the strides I've made but I did have a few fails.

Like when my daughter fell short on an expectation I had of her and the conversation wasn't very calm. I found myself raising my voice and repeating myself instead of finding a solution I totally shut her off and nothing was gained. Shortly after I was very disappointed in myself for projecting my expectations on her and ended up having to refocus and regroup.
That's what we do sometimes as parents and that's why we have moments of failure. Our expectations are just that ours, and when we project them on our children and even on others most times things don't turn out so great. Those are moments when as we mature we learn to bow our heads and apologize for behaving like a clown.

illustration by rawforbeauty.com

Then there was the time when my friend offered to help install my Air Conditioner window brackets and I totally flipped out because certain things around the window were moved and I being the crazy control nut with self diagnosed OCD lost my temper instead of explaining myself better. I raised my voice about moving the curtains and pushing some of the furniture around instead of just taking a deep breath and explaining myself better. I should have let my friend know I just like things in order and if you move my stuff around I need a heads up. The flip side of that was and is that my friend should have had more patience with me and listened better. It wasn't a challenge to his help it was just  an opportunity to respect how others handle stuff. We both failed that day but learned the lesson of compassion. When someone close to you is going through something, don't rush them. Be supportive and slow down.

And how can I not mention all the tests baby #2, my grandma has put me through. I tell you I still have hair because I just don't want to pull mines out though at times I wish I could pull someone else. From her threats on hitting me with her cane to her acting up in the doctor's office to her outright refusal to cooperate on numerous occasions she truly has tested me the most but with many fails came many passes. I've learned to reign my need for control in when it comes to her special needs and just go with the flow. Ride the wave as I say. I have learned but still have a ways to go on how to adjust my role from one moment to the next when it comes to her. I am learning daily how to let her dictate what my day with her will be like. This truly is my biggest challenge, Alzheimers is no joke geez....

So I repeat again...Maturity is widening the gap between impulse and action

illustration by rebelgrain.com

If we get to a place where we use impulse less and actions more than we are growing steady. We are getting closer to the person we want to become. Maturity is a destination, a place we hope to reach at some point. It is not an easy journey but one I hope most agree is a worth while trip.

What about you, have you had any failures recently that got you closer to Maturity? What are your thoughts on Growing Up?

Always stress free xo

Mari