Learning to Accept everyones Reality

Where ever you are planted...Bloom

Happy Sunday hope that our transition back to school and cooler weather hasn't been and won't be too difficult. Today I wanted to share with you a few walk away thoughts I've had on recent events on the news. I wanted to share my perspective and hopefully hear what you guys had to say as well. I was talking to my bestie last week over FaceTime and it was great to see his beautiful smile shining back at me after several months of missed calls and busy schedules. We were catching up on life's events and one of the things we touched on was Friendships. He commented that what he notices from me and I am not quoting just summarizing is that basically I am just to rigid in my expectations of people and more so my friends. That basically everyone has stuff going on and that I should try to have empathy, more understanding and more or less meet them where they are at. And for the most part I really get where he was coming from But at the same time my perspective from my life's experience goes back to value. I don't have a problem meeting you where you are, I don't have a problem having empathy but I do have a problem with you not showing me the same value as I show you. I have a huge problem with people who behave as if their life activities are more important than yours. This is why I have adopted the mindset of loving you from a distance. I am learning to Accept every ones Reality.  

Then I run into the Colin Kaepernick controversy and this is my take away thought...I am proud to have been born in the United States because this is all I ever have known. I am grateful my family came to this country and sacrificed so much so we can have a better life and I am grateful that I have so many freedoms that some may not be afforded But how then can you give me a Freedom and want to tell me how to use it? How can some in society be upset with this man when you told him you have freedom of speech? Many Americans want to lump all things together. Many Americans want all Americans to have the same views But if one persons reality is not the same as another how can they all have the same views? If I come from a reality of oppression, de-valued and dehumanized over years and years and still today see the same injustices why would I stand for your reality and deny mine? Freedom is a beautiful thing and all human beings should have it. If we live in such greatness as the United States then let me use it as it was given. Learning to Accept every ones Reality.

nfl.com

illustration by thequotepedia.com

This next one was shocking but not really because I always say unfortunately women are very catty and can be brutal critics of their own gender instead of lifting one another up. Blue Ivy / huffingtonpost article I came across which talks about the harsh comments posted about this four year old little girl four!

Grown women calling her ugly, what on earth? She is a child, what are you thinking when you are sitting at home or walking around just typing any crap that comes to mind then pressing send? Are you even really thinking? Are you even mindful of something called feelings? Do you ever remove yourself from your bubble and think about how you would feel hearing or reading these types of comments about your mother, sister or even child? Your reality may not be being thrusted into the spotlight she did not ask for cameras to follow her every move but you did choose to see her and comment. You made a choice and that choice from my perspective is unkind and lacks humanity. Societies emphasis on looks as a whole is F***ed up but when your own gender jumps on the band wagon...where do you go from there? My perspective is these comments come from a place of envy. What she was born into can afford her things some of us may never experience but if we were more mindful of gratitude of the things in our own lives we would not devalue hers. Learning to Accept every ones Reality. 

illustration by milliontalks.com

This last thought ties into my Blue Ivy share because it relates again to...women and the harsh judgment nature. Why all the fuse about who is not wearing makeup? What is the big deal about going outside makeup free? And why does it bother you if I am making that choice for myself and you wouldn't for you?

Two articles caught my eye allure.com  which shares a story about my daughter's favorite artist Alicia Keys and her choice to go makeup free. She is a beautiful woman inside and out. She uses her platform to uplift everyone never a harsh word used to exploit any opportunity so why are so many people more so women upset about her choice? Were we born with makeup on? No. It was a product made to enhance what was/is already beautiful or to add a little something to help with an issue we may feel can use a little work. It is society that has pushed this idea that women are not whole unless we put our face on. What! My natural face isn't good enough? Get the F out of here with that noise. Choices...again Freedom to use or not use makeup yet you want to tell me what to do and you want me to feel bad for choosing another road. I am choosing for me yet you want to lump my choice into your life. 

I will turn forty- five in a few weeks and its just in the last two years that I have embraced lipstick yes lipstick! I finally have the interest in applying it to my lips because of all the great colors and textures I can choose. I started to wear eyeliner in my teens and mascara in my late twenties but that is it. I hate yes I said it I hate anything else on my face. Foundation, concealers, blush whatever I don't want any part of it BUT if one day I wake up and have a dang pimple I want to cover up I can choose to do so however I wish! Forty something years of practically no makeup for me has afforded extra sleep time, no dirty collars, no midday apply, no restrictions on kissing or "playtime" on a whim and plenty of extra cash for things I really love like sweets! This other article about barely no makeup makeup is ridiculous to me but again its a choice gma.yahoo.com do what you wish with your dang own face. Learning to Accept every ones Reality. Do and be what works best for you. Live your life by your definition. Encourage individuality in your loved ones, especially your children. Allow them the choice to define themselves by their own standards. What makes them proud of themselves whether in front of a mirror or outside in the world.

illustration by lotfortyeightblog.com

So these are my thoughts today. Share your comments and experiences choose to be free today and let me know how you will go about doing so. Think big! think empowering, motivating and inspiring by living your best life.

Always stress free xo,

Mari

Markings that tell a Story

Ever been fascinated by something as a child and when you heard the grown ups speak about it they made it seem so bad?

Ever see something so beautiful or what you thought was beautiful and when you pointed it out to someone else they saw the opposite?

I have and I am sure so have many others.

This post is about Tattoos.
My Tattoos and the story they tell.

I have always been fascinated by the idea that someone would have such conviction on an image or belief enough to mark their bodies with it. Or that something made such an impression on them that they wanted to carry it with them forever.

Tattoos bring forth many thoughts and emotions. A lot of misconceptions and opinions. They never go by unnoticed that's for sure.
They can be great conversation pieces, they can break the ice, they can even let you know just how judgmental our society can be.

I have 5 Tattoos. My first was in my mid 20's. At the time I got it, it was not very acceptable because of the placement. It is above my butt in the waist area and it was called a "tramp stamp". I never used those words or thought of it as such, but I did run into people who would. Unless I wore an open back or something of that nature or unless you were a close friend, family or my partner you would never see it.
I chose this area because of my admiration for the lower back, I think its a very sensual place on a woman and I wanted the art piece I chose to be an expression of that. I chose vines with yellow Roses and a small butterfly fluttering between them.
Yellow Roses are not a choice many make everyone is stuck on Red, I always have to go my own way and Butterflies are delicate, they start off as not so pretty and break out into this beautiful free spirit.
Rare choices and growth...that is that story.

My 2nd and 3rd Tattoos came in 2007, after I returned from P.R. from visiting my friend Cynthia in the hospital. My visit with her and the reason and circumstances that bought me there changed many things in my life from my beliefs to my daily living actions and emotions.
I got a heart on my left hand wrist that is shaded starting in black at the tip and grows lighter as it expands.
It is to some a Black heart, to me it is a reminder to be loving but be guarded not everyone deserve your love so freely.
I have on the back of my neck the word BROKEN. The font and placement I chose were deliberate, it is a very strong word and one that has caused many NOT me, mixed emotions. I hear many jokes like "who broke you?" or "oh your broken?, how can I fix you?" It lets me know how closed minded many are and how very few people are mindful of words, their meanings, their power, their purpose.
I love this piece, I am so proud of it because I don't see a negative I see growth, experience, openness and life.

My 4th and 5th Tattoos I got in 2012, after a bump on the road changed the course of my life's journey.
On my right foot I got a symbol of the Sun with my daughter's initial E.
She is my sunshine, she is my pride and joy. She is the best part of me and one of the main purposes of me being on this earth. When I put my best foot forward I put my right foot so that is why she has that placement. She is always my inspiration to do my best and even when I don't that I am still loved.
On my right forearm I have an Hourglass with wings.
Time is precious, time is valuable, time is priceless. Once it is gone you can never get it back. Be mindful and respectful of time.

These pieces are an extension of me of who I am, of my life's journey. They are an artistic expression, a creative outlook on all of what life has taught me and of the growth I have experienced.
They are not low class or trashy or mistakes or picked out on a whim. They have been researched, drawn by friends, discussed and thought of thoroughly.

I am not the first and I won't be the last. I shared this because I have found that many people just need to start a conversation. To learn and to be open. Those old school thoughts on Tattoos are ridiculous. The negative labels on people who have them no longer should hold true. All types of people use this form of expression. This is no longer just for group A or group B.

I will say I am firm believer in purpose and reason. I am not about trends or fitting in.
As a parent my daughter has always been aware of my pieces and shared in my experiences.
When she came to her own conclusion that she too loved this form of expression, I had 2 rules:
-after the age of 18. I am not signing anything to give you permission. This is a conscious choice you need to make and you should be held responsible for doing so.
-research and come to me with a clear reasoning behind your choice. If you can't articulate why you want something, then it is not going on your body.

This is a collage of my pieces.
I love them and have no regrets.

As parents it is always important to be true to ourselves. To keep our own identities and not allow it to become just mom or just dad.
Why would we want to loose who we were before our children came into our lives?
Shouldn't they be additions to our all ready greatness?
Why would I stop being a creative and free spirit, if I did so then how could I teach my daughter to embrace these qualities in herself?

Freedom of expression and creativity come in many forms. If we don't really understand something then let's talk about it. Communication.
I wouldn't want my daughter to go behind my back and mark her body just because I wasn't open to a respectful discussion.
I have run into a few kids that have and the results weren't so great. Kids today express themselves in many ways from clothing to hair to piercings to Tattoos. It is really not a big deal. Pick your battles, set some guidelines and let them be.

Always stress free xo