Preparing ourselves to receive Abundance

Hey loves! Happy Holidays 

I am writing my first post since a self imposed gadget break last week and I am writing it on my new Laptop!!! I gifted myself an investment in my building Abundance by purchasing a new Mac Pro. For a very long time I didn't feel the need to have two laptops at home but as my daughter and I continue to grow so did the need for another work station per say lol. There is nothing more rewarding than investing in yourself so I thought it was also a great topic to discuss today.

In addition to my new Laptop I was actually gifted by my daughter and BFF my first DSLR camera!!! I love my IPhone camera and its been awesome to me and will continue to be so but this latest addition has just opened new doors for me which I am so giddy about entering.

So I stated that there is nothing more rewarding than investing in yourself right, so what are we doing or what have we done thus far to achieve that?

2016 has been a year full of tragedies and full blown eye opening experiences world wide I believe. It has been a year of change while still remaining the same and a year that has awoken a required sense of duty to self and to family preservation. I know for me it has been a heck of an emotional rollercoaster ride that I am so ready to get off of and start on a brand new luxurious ride.

A New Year is right around the corner and the many useless promises and resolutions have started or are about to start. The many empty words we say sometimes just to keep up appearances or just the plain ole lies we repeat in hopes that this time around will be different. But unless we have prepared ourselves 2017 will just be a repeat of the same ole ride.

This year for me was filled with a few firsts:

-entering and actually ranking top 10/20 in photography contests

-attended writing workshops both online and in person

-attended Yoga classes outside

-participated in a Yoga workshop

-joined numerous writing groups online

-engaged in Twitter chats

-said Yes more than No

-took several gadget breaks

-pressed delete on things I would have normally revisited without even blinking

-took part in a Reiki healing session

-joined a Sister Circle

-expanded my dating circle

-revisited some old topics with my daughter's father (that was awesome btw!)

-didn't send out any birthday or holiday cards

-didn't call people for birthday or holiday cordial exchange

Now some of these may not seem like a biggie but for example the last two in which I didn't make an effort to reach out...was very difficult for me at some point in my life. I am always the reliable one, the friend that knows everyone's Birth day and makes sure that they know I am thinking of them. This year I threw all that out the window and instead just focused my energy on preparing to receive Abundance. 

Let's dive into that!

What do I mean? Ok well let's first start with words. The things we tell ourselves or allow others to tell us or even attach to who we are in their eyes. Things like:

-you will never change

-you can't do that

-you're too old for that

-you're too young to think that

-that is not for you

-I have always been this way

-I have always done things like that

-this is just who I am

-I'll never be happy

-no one really likes me

-I have nothing to offer

Many of us are great at being kind to others but seldom know how to be kind to ourselves. In my own journey to authentic self care I have held on strongly to the words Value and Perspective. These two words can change your life literally and spiritually. I have held on to them in moments of doubt, sense of being lost, ending relationships, starting from scratch, sharing my passions, raising my daughter, building a family and just overall setting myself up for living the life that I want.

Recently I joined my Sister Circle in an end of the year Divine Release gathering. It was a mixture of ages, backgrounds and overall stages of life. Several of which were millennials who blew me away with their self awareness and goals I refer to some of them as my adopted babies. In our gathering we meditated and shared in some building trust q&a's. One of the topics discussed was being prepared. Asking for things from the Universe that perhaps we are just not prepared for.

illustration by theawareshow.com

Again, so how do we prepare? First and foremost we must know what we want...clarity.

We must then start to take the much needed steps to get there. Some of them may be:

-cutting old ties

-getting rid of dead weight literally and physically

-literally cleaning our homes of all the things we don't need, use or want

-making a list or starting a journal with specific details of your wants

-sharing some of your goals with a loved one so they can encourage and hold you accountable in a loving way

-daily practice of speaking to the universe what you want to receive

-paying forward in small ways

-practicing forgiveness on yourself so it trickles over to others

-be the type of friend you would want in your life to your self first

-accept plans change, learn to be flexible

-learn to love from a distance

-make a small change daily but don't beat yourself up if you fail, tomorrow is another day but with that being said Don't wait for tomorrow to live the life you want Today

Preparing ourselves to receive Abundance may not be something we ever put thought to either because it may seem selfish or even greedy but if we are open to the idea that just maybe we all deserve an overflow of love, peace and goodness than perhaps the word Abundance won't sound unattainable. Change our Perspective and give yourself Value.

These are my thoughts for the New Year. What do you think? Share your thoughts and or experiences here.

Always stress free xo,

Mari

Meditation is easy...NOT

Oh I can't do that, I can't meditate. I feel so silly just sitting there with my eyes closed. Who has time to sit still? Oh that sounds so goofy, I don't want to feel like I am floating.

I have heard so many comments some with merit and some totally bizarre when I have shared my meditation practice journey. I remember when I first began to practice I couldn't wait to spread the word on how life saving it had been for me and all the benefits I was gaining with my practice. Can I just say I got a lot of rolling eyes.

I slowly learned to keep it to myself and only address it when it came up which oddly enough comes up more often than not if you are discussing trying to live stress free in New York City. Everyone always points to how rushed we are or how we don't have enough time in the day or how people just plain ole piss them off. My response...I don't feel that at all. What?! You are lying is the response I get back.

illustration by USATodaycollege

But I am not. I don't feel those things because I don't allow those negative events to take up too much space in my head or in my heart. Of course I feel something but I don't sit in that something for too long. I breathe.

There was a time when in a split second I could go from calm to chaos. One wrong word would bring a barrage of F bombs and attitude. There was just no way you were going to "get away" with disrespecting me. I am not confrontational to be clear, that is to say I will not and am not about going out looking for drama or trouble but if you bought it you best have been prepared for the outcome. I am no ones punching bag but I totally handle things differently today.

Meditation, what is it exactly? Well in summary it is a practice of calming and silencing your mind. It encourages the development of concentration and emotional positivity. With that being said let me tell you that our minds are never calm or silent.
We are constantly thinking, planning, remembering. But when you practice Meditation you learn to slow things down, acknowledge what is happening and better cope with things.

illustration by affirmyourlife

Let me share one of my sit down sessions:
I am home in front of my mantle, water fall on, cushion on the ground, legs crossed, door closed and timer set. I close my eyes take a few deep breaths and begin to clear my mind. I hear the birds, I am slowing my breaths, I hear the birds I am slowing my breaths. Out of no where this guy comes out and says "B**** I am tired of you looking through my things. Who the F*** do you think you are? I am tired of your S***." Pause...I open my eyes and think what the H***. He is having and argument over the phone standing right outside my window! I take a deeper breath close my eyes and try again. But now I'm like geez what the heck is happening in that convo now? He walked away so I have no idea. How is it going to end? OMG...endless thoughts. I say to myself "Ok, I know you are totally interested in that gossip but stop. Wish them well and lets keep going." I reset my timer, close my eyes take a couple of deep breaths and begin again. That was over four years ago but I remember it clear as day. Meditation is easy...Not.

That is real honest Meditation. Acknowledge the chaos around you but stay calm in your space.

It is never easy. I am almost five years in and still have my rough days but that is the beauty of Meditation. I am always learning always growing in my practice. I have gained more than I have lost and through difficult transitions in my life it has been this practice that has given me strength to make my messes my message.

illustration  by lovelifediy.com

There are several types of Meditation and in my journey I have tried them all at some point. The one I love the most and practice most often is Mindful Meditation. After my last breakup when all I saw was darkness it was Mantra Meditation that helped me find my way back to the light. But I stick with Mindfulness because it helps me remain aware at all times of my words, my actions, my thoughts and my purpose. I go about my daily life with the intention of doing the best I can under all circumstances. Yes even when I get cut off while driving or my daughter says something outrageous like "I hate people"(in connection with a bad day at work). Some days are better than others but doesn't that go for everything in life? Do I still curse? Of course! But less frequently and even less with no intent or necessary substance. Now when I drop an F bomb it has more of a kick to it lol.

Here's a link for those of you who may want to read up more on my share chopra.com and I will also be taking part in Deepak Chopra & Oprah's 21 Day Meditation Challenge here's the link in case you would like to get more information on it chopracentermeditation and remember it is never to late to make a change until it is.

Have any of you tried Meditation or any other tools to calm your mind and slow the fast pace lifestyle you may live or have lived in? Would love to chat on it, share your thoughts.


Always stress free xo,
Mari 

Discover who You really are

Discover who You are, not what Others want you to be.

illustrations by wisdomquotes&stories

 It is never easy regardless of your age to start over again. Fear is fear no matter the form in which it presents itself and anxiety doesn't stay too far behind either. If we are lucky though in our life time we will go through many amazing changes.

Such was the case for me the time I decided to go to dinner alone. I'm not talking about grabbing a pizza and soda. I'm talking about walking into a fairly nice restaurant and asking for a table for one. Waiting to be seated, being walked over, settling down and when your all cozy asking the waiter/waitress to bring over your favorite drink along with the menu. "Will you be dining alone? Yes. Ok, I'll be back in a moment, thank you."

At first I must admit I was self conscious of others looking at me and wondering why I was alone but then I thought "who cares?" I began to relax and really enjoy my drink. I looked at the menu carefully and ordered something semi new within reason of course I mean who the heck wants a tummy ache for crying out loud. As the waitress took my order we smiled and exchanged lite conversation and as she walked away I kept smiling in gratitude. I am here, this is fun, I am alone but I am not lonely.

While I waited for my dinner to arrive I read a magazine something I hadn't done in a while because I was always rushing. I turned the pages slowly, took in every picture and every word and still that smile stayed on my face. The music played softly in the background, families laughed, kids were being fed by their moms, couples held hands and chatted. My dinner finally arrived.

illustrations by quoteaddicts.com

I had pan seared Salmon. It had a few other things with it but it's been four years can't recall whole plate but I can tell you that it was one of the best dates I've ever had. No stress about the conversation topics, not rushing through my food but instead savoring every forkful and really being in the moment. Looking at every bite, taking in every scent of what was presented to me on that plate. Grateful. To top things off I ordered Raspberry Cheesecake! Amazing so soft and fluffy and thick and rich and creamy all in one.

Once I was ready to leave and asked for my check, I took a long look around my surroundings and thought...Alone time is priceless.

I discovered that:
-fear is not always your enemy but just a cautious friend
-loss is never easy but sometimes totally neccesary and even freeing
-who You woke up being doesn't have to be the same person you put to bed
-if your so called loved ones don't see your potential then they are not really seeing you
-time moves, wounds heal and authentic love is forever
-every moment is truly filled with a chance to move in another direction
-forever is only as long as you want it to be

illustration by quotes

Four years and tons of alone time later I still look back on that day and smile a grand smile. I believe it should be a requirement of us all to invest in some time alone with ourselves. Time to do and be only for and about us. What we want, what we like, what we think and what we feel. Time to Discover who we really are.

Especially parents, we are almost expected to believe we are suppose to sacrifice ourselves for our families, for our children but No! There is no need to sacrifice just a desire to find a workable balance. It isn't about having it all it is about working with what you currently have and aiming towards something better if that is indeed your goal.

Discover who you really are you are your greatest investment.

What has been your greatest discovery about yourself?

Always stress free xo,

Mari

It's ok to have a slice of Fun

Happy Thursday!

The weather and time of year are finally in sync! I've been enjoying all the awesome colors and warm weather tunes being played. I wanted to share two of my current favorite things. It's not literally food but a treat and fun none the less.

Thursday's Treat...something to inspire you to have an Awesome summer!!!

-My favorite song right now love the double meaning and its catchy beat makes me just want to get up and move. Be inspired to live moment by moment and let go of the rigid life style.

cake by the ocean!!!

-Photos. I took these recently on a walk around my neighborhood. I love bright happy blooming finds. They remind me to slow down and enjoy again...the moment. I used my IPhone 5 and Tadaa app for editing tell me what you think. Enjoy!

Always stress free xo,

Mari

See the Bigger Picture

Happy Sunday!

I have several things I wanted to touch on and was struggling to tie them all together so I just pressed my Brainsparker app and decided to go with whatever came up. The prompt was See the Bigger picture.

Just how do you see the bigger picture when it involves loss and or sadness? How do you see past the pain so you can smile again? How do think past the pain you feel in that moment?

illustration by veroniquepalmer.com

This past week the world lost another great creative soul, Prince. So many labels can be attached to his name but for me it's about the body of work he gave us. His lyrics, his thoughts, his presentation, his purpose. To be his authentic self and gift you with his talent and if you understood great but if you didn't great too. Creative people don't worry about everyone jumping on their wagon. They only want those that respect and can be open to see and hear things from different views to come along on their ride. I will forever be grateful he was one of a kind. His comfortable in your own skin ways was extremely attractive and very freeing. Though I am sad you are no longer physically here I know your gifts will continue to come.

my fav Prince song! Diamonds and Pearls 

We are selfish human beings, we expect those we care about to always be around but we all know that is not true. Death is part of the Living package. We just want to ignore it or put it out of our minds...until it's too late.

A friend of mine as we spoke about Prince's transition commented how grateful he was that he and his dad had mended their relationship before he himself had transitioned. I said how awesome that was and then thought about my own parents. I didn't feel sad for me I felt sad for them. They have wasted so many years consumed in their own bubble to even think outside of themselves and all they are missing out on. To live a selfish life one that doesn't reap rewards but instead sews rotten seeds is shameful. To leave behind in people's minds regrets instead of celebrations is a tragedy.

Oddly enough my lil mama and I went to a private fan gathering for Alicia Keys the same night Prince left us and she shared with us some amazing new material I can't wait for the whole world to hear but she shared this song and asked everyone in the audience to go home and calculate how many days they themselves have been on this earth. The song is called 28,000 days. That's about 76 years my grandma is almost 93. Let's think about these numbers. I am 44 and I have lived just a little past 16,000 days. Does that seem like a lot to you? Heck nooooo, not to me. So imagine thinking about those numbers and reviewing how many of those were wasted days?

See the Bigger picture! Bet you never thought of your life in days? My perspective is wasting time is for those who see no value in themselves or others. When you value the people and things in your life you cherish and nurture every moment. So what should you do now that you know your number? How about finding better ways to make them count! See the Bigger picture, stop wasting time.

What have you realized that you have wasted time on? Is there something that now you think you are ready to explore and let go of? Do you tend to look at the Bigger picture or stay stuck on the small screen?

Always stress free xo.
Mari

What really Matters in Your Life?

Have the things that matter to you grown and changed as you have grown and changed? Are you taking stock in your progress as you grow older? Do you find yourself stuck and don't know where to begin?

illustration by mindset daily.com

The truth of the matter is that it isn't until something drastic happens to us that we realize we have been dealing with some BS we are not interested in dealing with but have been because we are programmed to think we just have to. How we grow up, the values our parents and other family members teach us and even our friends help mold the crap we sometimes carry around.

December was a month full of several ending events. As I shared not to long ago we had some deaths to deal with that we are learning from and working through. I am grateful for all the talks that have taken place between my daughter and I. Support is always great but clarity is even better. Communication coming from love never fails.

I shared that an old friend contacted me about her mother's passing. This Summer will mark four years since we have spoken. The time is very clear to me because our end is very clear to me. As I prepared to go to the wake I had so many emotions to put in order, so many thoughts to gather and put in there place. As I parked my car and walked to the funeral home I found myself clinching my fists just a little tighter for support.

illustration by believeinthesparks.com

As I made my way through the crowd and said my hellos, gave hugs and kisses one thing was very clear to me I had walked into the same life I had left long ago but just with a different background.
The faces had aged but everything else was the same. The conversations where the same just with more added drama and bitterness. It was as if their feet hadn't moved in any forward direction. I was sad, I felt trapped and couldn't wait to leave.

To the people that mattered I made sure I said how sorry I was that we were meeting again under such circumstances to the rest I felt no need for explanation. I was grateful that my history with them was remembered. That the years I invested in them left a positive mark therefore we still had love for one another and now that we are older, even more respect.
Just before I left I held my old friends hand and told her I loved her, was sorry again about her mom, wished her all the best and assured her that we were good. That life had played out as it should have for us. That we are where we need to be, growing is part of life and that's what we will continue to do. I emphasized they knew where to reach me gave her another big hug and left.

As I drove away I was grateful. I don't mean for this to come across as mean or selfish but I was grateful I had left them behind. I was grateful I chose self preservation over loyalty to a friendship that for many years had stopped serving a purpose. I was grateful that I had chosen peace of mind over contemplating what others would think and say. I was grateful I had learned to value life and my life most of all to know when it was time to walk away.

illustration by mastering today.me

I asked in the beginning have the things that matter to you grown and changed as you have grown and changed? But I guess that may not be a fair question if you have remained as you are in your life. I also said that it wasn't until something drastic happened that we stop and review our paths. Tomorrow may never come for some and do you think if they knew that they wouldn't have changed something in their life?

Someone at the wake as I was saying my goodbyes asked me if I was on Face Book. Really? We haven't spoken in close to four years and that is how you want us to communicate? To stay relevant in each others lives? Not instead with a call or even an email or text? You want me to scroll through crap on your timeline just to see pictures of your life? To press like just so your numbers go up instead of us actually having a meaningful discussion? No thanks I'll pass. I'm not interested in logging on to a social media sight to see what's going on with you. That would require I take time away from more important matters to sit and look at a screen nah I'm good.

I am not anti social media truly I'm not but what I am anti is anything that takes away from the present and from truly engaging with those I love. I'd rather look at my daughter's face and see her smile than look at a screen and see what others are doing. Sure I get the reasoning behind connecting with loved ones who live far away but honestly...how often are you scrolling through things that are not loved ones related? Things that really Matter.

illustration by yourbizrules.com

Death is always a thing that fuels change. But it is only when you truly value life that those changes matter. Why wait for an end to start your new beginning? Self preservation, value, respect, kindness and love...What really Matters in Your Life?

Always stress free xo
Mari